icravespontaneity

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@eatmychay @sharona-corona-blog @martinil-blog-blog @ladidaanna @kellynhuu @jnedngr @kaffyo 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

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@thebabybea @samanthahill100-blog @thehairiestfeminist @jew21-com-blog @whatsmeanttobewilllllbe @yourgirlmica @pellsappelle @nop42 @imsthebest @kris-longnipple @ravisubedi @cupofjasminec @laurahelton @1112pm @trinityburn @hungryhelena @timmefy @amor-delirianervosa @natty-la @unperfect-xo @m-teaa @crinkledcookiesss @norciacompany @phamzie @highonthel-blog @4tmdc @m-dinh-blog-blog @missjny @ckv @caseyjinlee 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

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one of the most important things i’ve learned in therapy is that when you’ve experienced prolonged trauma in your childhood, pleasure feels uncomfortable. like, not that you don’t feel it, but that when you do feel it there’s an impulse to make it stop, because it’s extremely unfamiliar. and pleasure can mean many things, as simple as feeling cozy, and as complex as feeling loved. the neural pathways for feeling good have not had a chance to develop, and the neural pathways for feeling bad are quite practiced. feeling good, too, takes conscious practice.

#the more i understand myself

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In the film commentary, while the last scene was happening, Céline was reading the script at the same time. So I translated the whole text.

(A HUGE thank you to @bereaving for making those GIFs and helping me out with the text. You’re amazing.)

Here is the translated script of that final Portrait of a Lady on Fire scene:

“I saw her one last time.”

THEATER. INTERIOR. NIGHT.

MARIANNE makes her way among the spectators on the balcony of an Italian-style theater. She sits down and watches the room fill up in the hubbub of voices amplified by the acoustics of the auditorium. She distinguishes a familiar silhouette which progresses in the opposite balcony. The face slips away and Marianne does not take her eyes off it until it turns. It’s HÉLOÏSE. She squeezes between the occupied armchairs and the empty armchairs until she reaches the end of the balcony like the edge of a precipice. She’s sitting there. There’s nothing between her and the stage. Her eyes are riveted on this horizon. She does not look at the room as the conversations go out one after the other as by mutual agreement.

“She didn’t see me.”

The theater suddenly fell silent before the stormy violins begin their first movement.

(Music begins)

Like a restrained breath torn by a well-known staccato, the one of the inaugural notes from Vivaldi’s Summer presto. HÉLOÏSE displays a first disturbance in the face of the first bars of this long-awaited piece. You get imperceptibly close to her face during the 3 minutes of the movement.

This face experiences the dramatic deployment of music as it hears it, pierced by the generous rise of it. There is everything: there is surprise, elation, a beating heart, waiting, melancholy, concentration, the red which goes up to the cheeks, the memory, the sadness, and the breathing which becomes deeper.

All the attitudes of a woman that we knew well, and that we loved to look at. That we loved, period. But there are also things that we didn’t know about her and that are being discovered. Maybe because they are new, like this wrinkle around the eye. Maybe they are things that we hadn’t been able to see and that remained to be understood.

When the piece reaches its exalted final, HÉLOÏSE reveals the last and most alive of all her faces.”

“Adèle had only one instruction: to finish on an inhalation.”

The audio

Click here to see more translated parts of the DVD commentary

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thinking..

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“you’re too young to determine your sexuality” said no one to the heterosexual teenager

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my talents include avoiding difficult conversations and getting really sad over things i saw coming

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anxiety: they hate you

me: who hates me

anxiety: they

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I think it’s intoxicating when somebody is so unapologetically who they are.

Don Cheadle  (via 1112pm)

#cc

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do you ever get weirded out by the fact that everyone around you is constantly within their own mind and thinking a million secret thoughts and battling internal struggles just like you and that you’re not the only one who thinks these things and that the people around you aren’t just faces meant to fill up your life but they’re actually really deep people who have a lot more to them than you ever actually even think about

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