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lewisthomasismybabygirl
Benjamin W.
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miraculouszim
Miraculous Zim Comic
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No one is ever going to love me. I am an absolutely disgusting creature. Vile beyond comprehension. I can’t do anything for myself. Why can’t I do things. Why can’t I change myself. What’s wrong with me. I can’t stand being here anymore.
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I’ll never be anyone’s first choice or favorite person. There’s always gonna be someone better or more important. No one is ever going to love me. Not really. I wish it was easier to change. I wish I was just different already. But I’m horrible. I’m so mean. There’s something set fucked up with me. I can’t fucking stand myself. I know if the friendship ended I’d be the one to go. I’m not good. I’m not okay. Nothing is right. Everything is painful. Why can’t I do better? Why is it so hard?
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Why is this so fucking hard? Why do I want to talk to you so badly? Why do I miss you so much it fucking hurts? Why do I know that if I did reach out to you that nothing would be different? You’d just block me after a day or two. Treat me like you used to. It’s never gonna be any different and I know that, but why do I still miss you so much? And why the fuck did you have to add me and then block me again? What the actual fuck?
#I guess the most pathetic thing is that I hope you see this#and think how much you fucked me up#but you won’t#either way#I’m sure you never gave a crap about me#i overestimate my value in everyone’s lives#I don’t think I mean anything to anyone#or nothing that’s worth really holding on to#I’m disposable#always have been#always will be#completely worthless#I’m so fucking pathetic
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Man you got me so fucked up with that. I was just thinking about how I missed you like not even two days ago. It’s been 7 months. Why did you have to hit me up? And then block me again. Talk to me or leave me alone. Because I fucking miss you. And I want to talk to you again. I want to be like we were at one point. I think I’ll always love you even though I probably shouldn’t. But it’s just YOU. And I wish I could forget you because this sucks.
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Ew that was so embarrassing of me to be that invested in this guy who was just some dude. Embarrassing
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I wish I could stop overthinking every little thing. He likes me, he wants to get closer, he made those things very clear. I just don’t know how to stop thinking and analyzing every lot thing. My head hurts. My heart hurts but that’s my own fault. I think maybe I come off as too needy but I just want to see him again. But how do I just say that when we aren’t having actual conversations. Is he just bad at communicating? I just really like him. So very, very, VERY much.
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This is exactly what I was worried about. I feel like I messed something up. It feels different and it feels bad. And I am starting to feel like I should’ve just given up. But I’m probably overthinking. Hopefully overthinking. God please just let me be overthinking. I’m so tired of getting my heart hurt. It sucks and i really don’t think I can take much more of it. I can’t. I just want someone to be interested in me and not love bomb me. Because I’m a hopeless romantic. Maybe too naive. Maybe too gullible. Please just let something work out for me for once. I’m fucking begging.
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Being love bombed is so addictive. This one is going to hurt. I want it to be all truth. But I have dealt with this before. So I hope like fucking hell I am wrong. Please let me be wrong.
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And honestly if I don’t text him again, I doubt he’ll reach out so just stop lying and saying you *REALLY* want to get to know me when you couldn’t be fucking bothered to reach out to me. I hate men and I hate dating but I feel so empty and so alone I just want someone to love me. To actually love me and not lie about it. Fuck you for that btw. I’ll never forgive you for that.
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If I hadn’t sent that text he just wasn’t going to say anything and just completely stand me up for that phone call. Probably wouldn’t have texted me at all. And that fucking hurts wtf. Like I don’t know him but I wanted to but that’s a really fucking shitty thing to do. To suggest we talk on the phone and set a time and then just fucking bail. Like if you fell asleep that’s one thing but if you knew you weren’t going to call at all why not just cancel. If you had plans you forgot about or something came up. But I guess he just wasn’t going to say anything. I’m so tired of being treated like this. So fucking tired.
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I do still miss you. But I know that nothing will ever work out between us. I’m better off without you in my life. I just hope that you’ve found someone that makes you happy. That you don’t treat them like shit like how you treated me. I also hope you feel the same misery you made me feel when you played with my head. You knew what you were doing.
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I think I’m going to be alone forever. I don’t know what I keep doing wrong. I try different approaches every time. Am I boring? Am I annoying? Am I just never going to be good enough for anyone? I’m getting really fucking tired of being alone. No one is ever going to love me
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Even when I’m so sure that I’m done with you for real I still have dreams about you where you only want me and everything is good. When will I really be over you?
#I wish I could just flip a switch in my brain and forget you even existed#I wish I had never let you into my life#I wish I didn’t even know you#why did you have to hurt me like this
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Why do I keep letting my guard down for you when I know all you want to do is hurt me. Why am I so pathetic
#I love you so god damn much but I guess I really mean absolutely nothing to you#why do I let myself be so vulnerable for you to just come in and stomp all over my heart#you’re evil#vile pathetic man#all I wanted was for you to love me the same#but I’ll never be good enough#no matter how hard I try for things to be different#you get to hide behind the distance and forget about me the moment you decide you’re done#you’re just a cowardly piece of shit and I hope you never find real love
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I’m so fucking lonely. So. Fucking. Lonely.
#why did you tell me you loved me when it was a lie#why would you do that#how could I mean nothing to you#I wish I had never met you because I wouldn’t be in so much pain right now#how did I let you use me like that
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At least now I know I really meant nothing to you
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