iamkazane

[iamkazane]

I'm not good today.

#i don't know why #I'm just SAD #and tired

[iamkazane]

I keep living one week at a time. And when that doesn't work I spend the money I earn in thing that will make me and the people I love happy.

#also im seeing The Rose live again #and Day6 is having a comeback #and I'll give them all my money

[iamkazane]

Why is it this hard to be happy? It's been months living one day at a time, one week at a time. I'm tired. I'm so tired I can't even cry.

#i just want to sleep for a whole week or a month

[iamkazane]

The last thing I posted here was about a job interview. I got the job. Now I have money (just a little) and I'm miserable sometimes. My job gives me anxiety and I just want to cry. I know tomorrow I'm doing something really bad at my job, but I know somehow I'm right.

#i can't sleep #i just need tomorrow to be over #or just the whole week

[iamkazane]

Next Monday I have an interview for a job. A job that it's related to my degree, for the first time. I'm so excited and nervous. I really want the job. And I don't want it at the same time, because I love sabotaging myself.

#i sleeped so bad this night #i just need to finish the interview and continue with my life #life its easier when nobody expects anything from you and you're just a disappointment

[iamkazane]

I know no one is reading this, but just in case, I survived to the weekend. It wasn't that bad but LOVE being at home. Maybe I've become even more introverted?

#home sweet home #i watched Sungjin's video he's so handsome #and Wonpil is back #the waiting is over

[iamkazane]

Tomorrow I have to wake up early to go to a place I don't wanna go. This weekend I won't be treated as an adult even though I'm 31. I'll be sharing a room with my brother, because that's what the rest of the kids are doing, sharing a room with their siblings. The other kids are 12. I haven't shared a room with my brother for at least 20 years.

Yes, I know there are bigger problems on the world. Right now Israel is killing every Palestinian they see and I'm here complaining for having to share a room with my brother. I feel shellfish and that makes my anxiety go even higher.

#i hate being myself right now #i wish i wasnt me #by eric nam

[iamkazane]

I know we're supposed to love our family. And I do love my family. But in small doses. I've ahead two whole days with some oh them and thinking about it gives me anxiety. It's so sad that the only thing that gives me hope is that on Sunday I'll be back home and that on Monday there'll be a new Sungjin video.

#i just want to be home #alone #monday come fast and come to me with a new sungjin video