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Yo momma so weak, she failed to suck me hard through my jorts. It was soft and pathetic. She even apologized.

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okay but you guys saw how episode 8 season 3 was a metaphor for being gay right. nandor goes to conversion therapy to live in a community of vampires denying their nature to the point of ripping their fangs out and forcing themselves to eat human food in the vain hopes of "curing" or "transforming" themselves with a weird cult-like mentality where everyone is unnaturally happy and shiny. he's running from both his feelings about eternal life and loneliness while actively denying an integral part of his identity and the fact that he depends heavily on his found family for love and acceptance. and then it's his epic gay boyfriend bodyguard guillermo who comes to bust him out and get him back to the people who love him and has to help him heal from internalised vampirephobia homophobia or whatever. can you hear me I am speaking directly into your brain

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tbh i am kinda glad laszlo did what he did.

with guillermo paired off w nandor, nadja and laszlo moving away, the house left barren... it was starting to feel some kind of a bittersweet too much of a series wrap up vibe to me so im lowkey glad laszlo did the fuckery and switched it all up at the last moment. now guillermo and nandor have to re-examine their codependent relationship away from each other and YEARN; nandor has to deal with why guillermo's abandonment stings so much, since that is the exact thing he has feared for the longest time and guillermo has to come to terms with why he needs to be with nandor and why that reason somewhere down the line sidestepped being wanting to be a vampire (which he still wants) to wanting to be with nandor more than anything else. when they meet again after this time and distance from each other it'll be seeing each other in a different light.

meanwhile laszlo in his dilf era trying to figure out how to raise a baby colin robinson and nadja in her "i am going to kill my husband i am going to KILL HIM" era when they step off the boat in england and guillermo and nadja girlbossing the entire supreme vampiric council being begrudging besties, the family is apart geographically but. they are in the kind of combo (or even alone) that they will have to come back to each other. like laszlo's homophobic crime tore the family apart in a way that the stitches that will be needed for mending will need all and everyone to weave that thread together its an active choice they will all have to make and i have no idea where they are going with s4 but i am hyped bc the s3 ripped the rug from right under us in less than 3minutes left in the season finale i have both mad respect and mad contempt for the writers how DARE YOU be so good at this

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former president of the united states, ronald rasengan

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The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

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i hate drawing real life ppl so this is prolly the only/closest thing to wwdits fanart youll get from me

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what we do in the shadows rant:

guillermo de la cruz is literally a groundbreaking character. for a not skinny person to have so many cool and dynamic action and fighting scenes is like…. pretty much unheard of. he is strong and powerful and defies every stereotype of how a plus-size character should act. as a fan who happens to be a fat person it’s so amazing and inspiring to see a character who isn’t reduced to their weight and isn’t the butt of the joke because of their weight. he is still the butt of the joke but only because vampires are assholes. this probably won’t get any notes but i just have to say it because it means so much to me. harvey guillén is a national treasure and his portrayal of guillermo means so much to so many people.

also guillermo is literally the hottest character. like, undeniably. every fourth post on here is someone thirsting for him and i absolutely understand. i’m a lesbian and i understand.

rant over back to the regularly scheduled nandermo shitposting

#no cus hes so hot its insane

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DANNY DEVITO HUGGED BERNIE SANDERS. AND IM CRYING…. NEED! ME! A! FREAK! LIKE! THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Italian omegaverse call that garlic knot

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occasional posts from users

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#i fixed it

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