hydecker

[hydecker]

give it up for men whimpering

#this was posted on my bday hashtag real

[hydecker]

me and my friends when we’re generic thugs

[hydecker]

Why are you 19

well nineteen years ago a miracle happened

[hydecker]

how do you guys feel about my lock screen

[hydecker]

Does anyone have THE SQUIRTERRR

[hydecker]

a couple weeks ago, someone called and left a message on my team's phone at work. this was a phone number that he should not have been able to find and which isn't actually manned. we are an IT team and have the number to keep our team zoom account. so no one picks it up, but every time someone leaves a message, everyone on the team gets an email with the transposed text.

this man left a 7 minute long message with my tech team about how he wanted a job in our sales department.

in it, he called himself a savage no less than 12 times. he spent most of the 7 minutes talking about how well he closes deals and sells. he left this message over the weekend. in it, he said the words "i'm a beast, i'm a killer" multiple times, which i now can't seem to get out of my vocabulary. i say it literally every day and i can't explain it because it's like a personal meme.

my team actually found this message so fucking funny that we immediately found the sales team recruiter and got him over there. we all dearly hope that he gets hired so we can meet him. he's like a celebrity to us. he's a beast. a killer even.

[hydecker]

Fuck it, post lamb stew slow cooker recipe

[hydecker]

haha ❤️ hilarious post my friend! *eyes narrow and my face goes stone serious* but it does not resonate with my own ideological schema, so i shall not be reblogging it

[hydecker]

[hydecker]

[hydecker]

Having a really good time on r/castiron

#reesie puffs and milk. #loving it

[hydecker]

[hydecker]

#i cant ride a bike cant cartwheel and i cant cross the monkey bars #ray toro voice: face it you're never gonna make it #polls

[hydecker]

i personally do lateral tripod. dynamic tripod is the "proper" way and i believe most common, feel free to correct me.

#i dont write physically often enough to rly notice but #i kinda switch between dynamic tripod and lateral quadrupod #it just depends on how my fingers wanna be some days lol #polls

[hydecker]

hey bro can I smell your dick not in a weird way though

this ask has been sitting in my inbox for eight years and today i am setting it free like a caged bird

[hydecker]

i've experienced popping and cracking in all of the above so i wanna know how normal this is

#deep inhale OKAY #literally all of these Except for my hips and collarbones #i be cracking like a glowstick #my jaw pops too sometimes <3 #polls

[hydecker]

I always bring a book just in case but today I forgot and now I'm bored on the train, so

reblogs appreciated!

#i take headphones/earbuds AND sunglasses too #also a charger if im gonna be somewhere for a long while #i gotta block out ppl trying to talk to me (earbuds) and look sexy while doing so (sunglasses) <3 #polls