hummusbirds

[hummusbirds]

How the. Hell does everyone just throw me away I try so so hard I don't know why I always do I don't know why I put. So much heart everywhere and expect everyone to give it back when will I !!!!!!! LEARN WHEN!!!! Will I not be an IDIOT WHEN !!!!

#sory!!!!!!!!!sorry it's !! my personal sorry i'm having !!!!!!!!!!! a time

[hummusbirds]

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#the way he pawed and gripped at my ass has me #wheeling #and he smiled and laughed and said it was hot that I didn't care about anything really #but he knows I do #maybe he likes the act of it all #he kisses me hard when I tilt my chin up and peer at him like I wanna be kissed

[hummusbirds]

if its not finished by june then i am 

[hummusbirds]

im so sad and whats the matter isn't that i feel like i'll amount to nothing im probably brilliant in some kind of way and i have some kind of compass where i know i need to go but i am just such an unloveable person and why does no one really know me or understand me or have any patience for me why do i have to be alone? why does it have to be like this? its fine mostly but then its not its not really fine no one is interested in me im just something flat and boring now no one is interested in my day or how im feeling no one cares miranda

[hummusbirds]

why do i get so offended when ppl don't know me like i thought they did? 

[hummusbirds]

but i do miss him 

#and write about us because we should have been sweet decay

[hummusbirds]

THAT FEEL WHEN U TRY TO HELP AND THEN ARE SHOT DOWN BY COLD INDIFFERENCE LAUGHS UNTIL SHE CRIES

#whatever story of my life !!! probably #i mean #giving mountains of advice #sure im good at that #i try to be empathetic and understand #i try to help because shit idk i want to help! i just want to help!!!!!! #and then it's like. nope #idk maybe i should just keep my mouth shut whatever fuck it

[hummusbirds]

god damn i wish i were dead honestly i wish i were dead! like im tired of this lmao im tired of feeling like shit over what happened with a friend who doesn't care about me at all who bullshitted me this whole entire time also im tired of caring about some white bitch who can't take a fucking hint and has to have me join the dots for her im tired of my mom and her downward spiral im tired of my dad and his big fucking mouth im tired of being alone and im tired of not feeling comfortable enough to place myself into fiction anymore because i know im going to get her angry at me for it because i really cannot ever handle reality and im a weak piece of shit i hate myself bye

[hummusbirds]

tfw you're emotionally alone

[hummusbirds]

benign neglect is how to treat me 

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whatever i guess

[hummusbirds]

when you realize that the reason you can't write anymore or feel comfy on your blog isn't because you want more interaction but because you just want your person lmao 

[hummusbirds]

To the one who loves her next, She’s terrified of spiders. So when you’re out late with friends and she texts you freaking out because there’s one on her window, please go kill it. She won’t sleep otherwise. She is a total textbook introvert. She won’t reply for hours and sometimes you won’t see her for a week. You will take this personally. Don’t. She’s simply taking care of herself and she’ll tell you how much she missed you while she was away. She’ll get very jealous. My god, she gets so jealous. Those brown eyes will turn a deep green. She hates that about herself, and she doesn’t mean to do it. Remember, she loves you. Reassure her that you love her too. On that topic, she needs constant reassurance. Tell her you love her and mean it. If you can’t do that, leave. She deserves more than that. There will be nights when she goes out and drinks a little too much. She’ll call you to bring her home. When you do, she’ll try to keep you up all night by tickling you and repeating “I love you and I’m sorry I’m annoying.” She’s not annoying. But make sure she has plenty of water and don’t let her pass out until she drinks it, or she will be miserable in the morning. She is the most independent woman I know. But she’s so insecure, it still breaks my heart. So when she starts an argument with “you don’t love me.” Do not get upset. Remind her you do and the reasons why. She’ll come around. The cat comes first. Always. Don’t ever think otherwise. Make her tea and remember the way she takes her coffee. She will notice. When she’s having an anxiety attack, wrap her up in your arms and rub her back. Tell her she’s safe and remind her that she has medication if she needs it. If you cannot treat her like royalty, let someone else. That girl deserves the world. Losing her is a pain you will never shake. Your world will come crashing down on you and those pieces won’t ever fit the way they used to. Don’t let her go. She will love you with all she’s got. Please give her the same. I am begging you to not hurt her. She is golden. Don’t let that shine die out. Give her your all and she’ll return the favor. You will never have to ask the universe for anything ever again.

Sincerely, a name you’ll hear in passing. (via flashoflife)

😔this

(via onestartotheleft)

left me crying uncontrollably 

(via r3ckless-emotion)

This fucking hurts.

(via gnarlyswells)

[hummusbirds]

be here for me by leaving me the fuck alone right now

[hummusbirds]

ever since *** said that thing about my problems being small and minimal in comparison to everything else especially *** i haven't been able to feel my problems i feel so numb maybe i am ruined everyone i know has ruined me and i let them do that. i let that happen. i let myself be corrupted because i'm trash. my brother is in jail and my parents are broke and they're getting a divorce and my dad is depressed and i have no one to talk to :) i have no one :) no one cares. no one cares about me. no one is listening 

[hummusbirds]

tfw you are totally alone

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