howrsememequeen

[howrsememequeen]

Horse figure of the day: Breyer #751103 Mesteño Rain

#i have this model!! #mine does not look this nice lmao

[howrsememequeen]

Neopets is so funny right now. It's a 24-year-old website and half its pages haven't been updated in 15 years. Its ostensible audience is children. The core active audience appears to be nostalgic 20-40-year-olds. Old code means no accounts or pets can ever be renamed. The virtual pound is full of virtual pets named after Justin Bieber. It has an economy and inflation is rampant. New ownership is combating this with the stimulus of random super-rare items via daily quests and events, while the equivalent of Neopian Upper-Crust complain that their investments are deflating. You can't say seaweed or grapes.

[howrsememequeen]

wow every time Howrse updates the Ascent it gets more and more rigged to not let you win

#howrse #i've mcfuckin had it with this part of the game

[howrsememequeen]

sobbing with joy that neopets has not changed in the slightest

[howrsememequeen]

I think about this constantly

[howrsememequeen]

Giant Omelette Wallets

by JupyPoopy

#THAT'S SO FUCKIN CUTE I WANT ONE

[howrsememequeen]

My Biggest and Most Annoying Fictional Horse Pet Peeve

Big Horses are a Very New Thing and they Likely Didn’t Exist in your Historical and/or Fantasy Settings.

You’ve all seen it in every historical piece of media ever produced. Contrary to popular belief, a big black horse with long legs and long flowing mane is not a widespread or even a particularly old type of horse.

THIS IS NOT A MEDIEVAL THING. THIS IS NOT EVEN A BAROQUE THING. THIS IS A NINETEENTH CENTURY CITY CARRIAGE HORSE.

All the love to fancy Friesian horses, but your Roman general or Medieval country heroine just really couldn’t, wouldn’t, and for the sake of my mental health shouldn’t have ridden one either.

Big warmblood horses are a Western European and British invention that started popping up somewhere around 1700s when agriculture and warfare changed, and when rich folks wanted Bigger Faster Stronger Thinner race horses. The modern warmblood and the big continental draught both had their first real rise to fame in the 1800s when people started driving Fancy Carriages everywhere, and having the Fanciest Carriage started to mean having the Tallest and Thinnest Horses in the town.

Before mechanised weaponry and heavy artillery all horses used to be small and hardy easy-feeders. Kinda like a donkey but easier to steer and with a back that’s not as nasty and straight to sit on.

SOME REAL MEDIEVAL, ROMAN, OTTOMAN, MONGOL, VIKING, GREEK and WHATEVER HISTORICALLY PLAUSIBLE HORSES FOR YOU:

“Primitive”, native breeds all over the globe tend to be only roughly 120-140 cm (12.0 - 13.3 hh) tall at the withers. They all also look a little something like this:

Mongolian native horse (Around 120-130 at the withers, and decendants of the first ever domesticated horses from central Asia. Still virtually unchanged from Chinggis Khan’s cavalry, ancestor to many Chinese, Japanese and Indian horses, and bred for speed racing and surviving outdoors without the help of humans.)

Carpathian native horse / Romanian and Polish Hucul Pony (Around 120-150 at the withers, first mentioned in writing during the 400s as wild mountain ponies, depicted before that in Trajanian Roman sculptures, used by the Austro-Hungarian cavalry in the 19th century)

Middle-Eastern native horse / Caspian Pony (Around 100-130 at the withers, ancestor of the Iranian Asil horse and its decendants, including the famous Arabian and Barb horses, likely been around since Darius I the Great, 5th century BC, and old Persian kings are often depicted riding these midgets)

Baltic Sea native horse / Icelandic, Finnish, Estonian, Gotland and Nordland horses (Around 120-150 at the withers, descendant of Mongolian horses, used by viking traders in 700-900 AD and taken to Iceland. Later used by the Swedish cavalry in the 30 years war and by the Finnish army in the Second World War, nowadays harness racing and draught horses)

Siberian native horse / Yakutian pony (Around 120-140 at the withers, related to Baltic and Mongolian horses and at least as old, as well-adapted to Siberian climate as woolly mammoths once were, the hairiest horse there is, used in draught work and herding)

Mediterranean native horse / Skyros pony, Sardinian Giara, Monterufolino (Around 100-140 at the Withers, used and bred by ancient Greeks for cavalry use, influenced by African and Eastern breeds, further had its own influence on Celtic breeds via Roman Empire, still used by park ranger officers in Italy)

British Isles’ native horse / various “Mountain & Moorland” pony breeds (Around 100-150 at the withers, brought over and mixed by Celts, Romans and Vikings, base for almost every modern sport pony and the deserving main pony of all your British Medieval settings. Some populations still live as feral herds in the British countryside, used as war mounts, draught horses, mine pit ponies, hunting help and race horses)

So hey, now you know!

[howrsememequeen]

#gay wine aunt with a touch of communism

[howrsememequeen]

Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!

[howrsememequeen]

Horse figure of the day: Breyer #5999 Appaloosa Mare

[howrsememequeen]

Masterpost

[howrsememequeen]

if anyone was wondering my gender is the coconuts you can win from the Coconut Shy

[howrsememequeen]

it's not just a boulder, it's a rock!

[howrsememequeen]

mods are asleep post the Neopets prison shank

[howrsememequeen]

Horse figure of the day: Breyer #1704 "Lindsay's Faith"

[howrsememequeen]

The team in the Bella Sara discord (particularly Mew, Gridloch, x0xll, Bellasaraarchivist, and Crystallinetearz) have succesfully recreated the Magical Stables and gotten several of the games to run in browser!!

#IT'S BEEN 84 YEARS #bella sara #i'll be checking this out when i get some free time

[howrsememequeen]

I always thought it was like an exaggeration when horse people would talk about how silly it was for anyone to think that riding a horse does not require any particular level of skill or balance or anything, or even that they "drive themselves" (???) but just the tags on the reblogs of that "can you ride a bike and/or horse" post from me alone are demonstrating how overconfident some people are in their (often entirely theoretical!) ability to stay on an alive and moving animal with a will of its own.