hotwife-lena79

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

A Faithful Hotwife?

I hear it asked, how can you be married, be a hotwife, and call yourself faithful? I’m faithful to my husband’s love. I’m faithful to my husband’s wishes, his fantasies, and to the foundation on which our marriage is built on. I have faith in our honesty and our respect for each other. Now try to understand this, could be difficult to follow along. I am faithful to my sexuality. I’m faithful to my own heart and to the choices I make. I have faith that the path we both walk on is our own and don’t always have to be parallel, they just have to be headed in the same direction. I believe a hotwife lifestyle, in many ways is more faithful than many monogamous marriages because we’re too busy fucking and celebrating our marriage and not worrying about lies, deceit and betrayal.

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

I dag onsdag sänder jag en tanke speciellt riktad till min vän och beundrare K...

Honey, I just got dressed to go out for the girls night … you noticed that I’m wearing my hotwife anklet ???

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

I agreed to being a hotwife for my husband a while ago because he said it was going to be great for our relationship, it was for a while. Lately it seems like nothing I do is right. He's very short with me, gets upset when I flirt with my boyfriend, but when I don't asks why I'm not. Every time I've gone out lately we fight afterwards, but later he tells me it was sexy and he doesn't want me to stop. We never talk about sex anymore. I've suggested stopping, he doesn't want to.I'm so confused :(

This is something I’ve chatted with several other wives about before, and have dealt with myself.  I think the lifestyle is a lot like relationships in general - I think when people start out Hotwifing there is a “honeymoon phase” where things are intense and crazy passionate because they’re “new”.  It’s a taboo thing that a husband or partner has usually spent a lot of time talking about, dreaming about, fantasizing about and, likely, trying to talk his partner into, and then he suddenly gets it and it’s AMAZING for a while, but after a while it starts to lose a little bit of that spark. D has even admitted to me that he still finds it crazy sexy, but he doesn’t feel the same kind of intense jealousy or lust as he did the first few times I went out, or when I did something “new”.  

I’m sure a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this, but I’ve experienced it, I’ve talked to other women who’ve experienced it, so, I’m speaking from experience here not just pulling things out of thin air.  So, when the “honeymoon phase” of any relationship or situation ends, you’re left with falling into a familiar, and hopefully comfortable rhythm, but sometimes that rhythm isn’t comfortable and it takes a while to learn the “steps to this new dance”.  

Your husband is probably as confused as you are about what’s happening…why was it so sexy before and now it doesn’t give him the same “rush”?  I’ve talked to men who liken it to a drug…it’s never as good as the first time (or first 10 to 15 times) and some people want to chase that “first time” feeling or fight against the fact that sometimes things change and that’s okay.  As in the case with D, maybe your husband is dealing with extra stress in his life right now, maybe he has other things on his mind, and he *thinks* he wants you to be out doing the Hotwife thing because it made him feel so incredibly good and lusty before, but it’s just not doing the same thing as it used to for him.  It sounds like he’s lashing out at you for this - getting upset when you flirt and text (which probably made him crazy passionate and lusty before), but then when you don’t, asking you why you aren’t anymore.  That’s a good indicator.

I can remember a time about 4 months ago when D was flying home from being away for a while and I was trying to be “extra sexy”.  Truthfully, I missed the hell out of him and was looking forward to some amazing sex with him about 30 minutes after his plane landed.  So, what was the best way to get him all hot and bothered - his biggest fantasy, right? So, I was texting with my boyfriend while D was on the way to the airport and then sending D screenshots of the sexy messages - in hopes that it would make him SUPER turned on during his flight and that he would attack me with passion when he finally got here.  Well, it turned into a big fight because he said that I wasn’t giving HIM enough attention while he was on his way to see me, knowing he was getting ready to get on a flight.  I was totally confused…  We’d done this same thing before and it had worked the way I thought it would, but this time, it upset him.  He wanted my attention in a different way than what I was giving - I was trying to give him what I thought would turn him on and make him happy.  There was a total disconnect there.  I think the fight got so bad that at one point he suggested just not getting on the plane…  Of course, he did and when he got here, things were tense, but they evened out after a while.  My point is that I just thought I was doing what he would want, and it confused the hell out of me when it didn’t work.  

May get a little backlash for this too, but let’s be honest, women…men are not always that great at expressing their feelings.  If they’re mad they just act mad, they have a hard time verbalizing what exactly is bothering them or what they’re feeling. I’ll be talking to D and know DAMN WELL that something isn’t right – he’s distant, he’s not as affectionate or romantic, there’s no sexy talk, etc., and I’ll ask him what’s wrong and he’ll say “nothing”.  I’ll prod more and he’ll say “just stressed about work and stuff”.  I mean, that doesn’t give a girl a whole lot to go on in terms of making things better, right?  This is “pointed discussion” time – you be very clear – “It feels like the Hotwife Lifestyle is starting to cause problems.  I’m happy to keep going forward with it if that’s what you want, but I need you to talk to me about why I am feeling these things from you”, and then list all of the things that you mentioned in your question and anything else you feel is “different or off”; explain why you feel confused and pulled in different directions.  We’re sort of playing with fire by living this lifestyle anyway, so you want to avoid being burned at all costs.

Maybe it’s time to take a little break from Hotwifing for a while; just focus on the relationship and getting back to a place of comfort with each other.  Maybe have a talk about how he feels about your dating “now vs. the beginning”, if he gets the same things out of it as he did before, if he’s feeling left out or more jealous in a bad way than he was before. Maybe he *needs* to take a breather from it, but he doesn’t want to because he’s hoping that things will go back to the super, erotic and sexy turn on that they were before.  

This is one of the reasons why I always say that the Hotwife Lifestyle, and any alternative sexual lifestyle, has to be done in a very strong, loving relationship where communication is open and honest all the time. Unlike what is portrayed, this lifestyle isn’t all “wine and roses” all the time.  Feelings get hurt, things happen and we get confused, people “feel” things they can’t explain.  It almost sounds in your case like it’s become a job for you in some ways – clock in and do your thing, but you’re not getting the benefits because your husband is upset with you, which means he’s likely not giving you all that love, support, romance, super erotic sex (you mentioned that you’ve even stopped talking about sex), etc., that you were promised when you became a Hotwife.  What was supposed to “supercharge” your relationship is now “stalling” it…so it’s time to take your relationship in the mechanic, so to speak.  Don’t drive the car until you get it checked out and know it’s safe and running in tip top shape again, when it is, then you can get back out on the freeway and push it back to 100mph 😉  

-       S  

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

[hotwife-lena79]

Tina Nordström

[hotwife-lena79]