hottakeswithdasom

[hottakeswithdasom]

500 Days of Summer

More like 500 days of dumber am i right

Literally horrible

Just the worst

I cant believe i watched that with my own eyes

Once again the white heteros strike back with even more filth that would make ScarJo vom. Jk

Its the same sickeningly sweet love story about a boy at his "corporate soul-sucking" job meets girl there working as the hot...wait for it... ~☆secretary☆~. Seriously? Just watch The Office. At least its actually funny. And her name is...SUMMER. WOAH. They make out at an office bar/karaoke party, but not before theres a highly intellectual conversation about how she thinks that women should be more independent abt relationships in general(like...ok) and the MC (i fukin forgot his stage name so lets call him Bob) is like "uhh but dont u care abt being married and stuff" and shes like "no not rlly" and then his JACKASS DRUNK FRIEND comes over and is like "ha does that mean ur a lesbian". Somehow, she has the self control to not rip off his dick and respond "yea women can be independent". Drunk friend guy is like "woahhh ur like a dude now". Filth

By the way, the entire movie is displayed in the typical "Vignettes scattered around for some reason" form. Its supposed to be like each day is a day of summer and so each vignette is out of 500 days. Yeah? Ok.

So Bob and Summer start going out, doing typical quirky indie stuff like listen to Beatles and The Smiths records, shouting "Penis" in a public park with children in it for no reason other to be quirky, pretending they live as husband and wife at Ikea, you know. Ugahhab they make an "Asian family" joke that makes me want to stab their eyes out. They basically start running around Ikea, being nasty lovey dovey making out on a bed in PUBLIC and Bob whispers to her "Theres an asian family in our bathroom" and the camera pans to see an asian family in the bathroom watching them.

Im so tired of asians being the butt of a joke, LIKE BILLY BOB AND SUMMER WERENT SUPPOSED MOVE THEIR WHITE NASTY ASSES OUT OF IKEA like assholes the family was minding their own fucking business and these horny bitches think they own the ikea get tf outta here that shit isnt just unfunny its racist as hell. Its supposed to make me think "aha asians? Thats so random. They shouldnt be in this movie at all, in fact, thats why its funny. Because anywhere they go, it'll always be unnatural. Even ikea."

ANYWAYS later theyre at a bar and Summer doesnt rlly want to talk to Bob and a stereotypically cartoon villian guy tries to hit on her and when she turns him down, he's like "whaaaaa but im so hot" and shes like "nah" and hes like "ok whatever i cant believe thats ur boyfriend though" and then BOB PUNCHES HIM BECAUSE OF THAT???? Like ughbsbsb so selfish he wasnt even doing it for her, he was just doing it for his manly pride. NOT EVEN SELF-DEFENSE LIKE FUCK OFF

A happy surprise, Summer is mad at Bob for doing that, but Bob doesnt think so. Later he practically makes her apologize to him as if what he did wasnt messed up??

They eventually break up, and he goes through the Im gonna win her back phase, where he goes to a party that she throws and tries to woo her with a gift. Its an architecture book. Oh yeah he wants to be an architect by the way, but instead for some reason he works at a greeting card company. He writes greetings. Thats all he does. The corporate man bringing him down amirite. Surprise surprise, its not her favorite thing in the world, and she reveals that shes engaged. Bob storms outta there and spends the next several months coming late to work, drinking combinations of whiskey and orange juice and twinkies. Nasty.

His boss keeps kindly asking him to up his work rate REASONABLY because hes been depressed and Bob basically is like fuck off. Finally, at a board meeting, Bob flips the fuck out and screams at all of coworkers that life is meaningless, and that theyre all wasting their lives writing meaningless shit on greeting cards and he gets the chance to say he quits. He isnt even fired he just gets to quit.

Oh yeah side note, throughout the whole movie theres this littles girl that i think is supposed to be Bob's sister and she gives him love advice??? Shes like 12??? She says "dont be a pussy"???? Like wow edgy ok

Anyways so he quits his job and idk he starts wanting to be an architect again, as shown by this unnecessary montage of him drawing buildings on his chalkboard wall in his bedroom.

He meets Summer on a park bench one day, and shes basically like "i hope u find someone" and hes like "ok". Then he goes to an interview to be an architect, when, lo and behold, theres ANOTHER GIRL applying for the same job and the narrator is like "And this is how Bob realized that miracles dont exist". Bob asks her out and shes says her name is Autumn. WOAHHHSHAHBAHAJSJJWKEHDBH GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE SYMMMMMMMMBOLISMMMMMMM

This was worse than the hetero logic in How I Met Your Mother, and almost everything was the same. Even the part about the MC wanting to be am architect. Bc i guess all little white boys dream of becoming an architect-the most painfully math-driven job in the world that is almost nothing like just drawing pretty pictures. And white girls are ok with that for some reason. Like robots

1/10 The hot surgeon friend

1/10 The super kind coworkers at the Hallmark

1/10 idk

=3/10

#500 days of summer #3/10

[hottakeswithdasom]

Abt trying to find art style, isnt ppl complaining abt not have an art style ACTUALLY complaining abt not being popular on the internet??? Idk

#not movies

[hottakeswithdasom]

12 Angry Men (1957)

Damn. What a movie. Watched this in sophomore year of hs and remember it was good, but didnt rlly care that much. Love it now. Freaking amazing. I guess surface-level, the most impressive thing is the fact that the entire movie basically takes place in just a single room. But thats only the shallow shallow part of how amazing this movie is. For me, one thing i loved so much was the amount of sensory detail they put into the environment. The men can look out the window, and their attitudes change. Its humid, its the “hottest day of the summer”, theres no working AC, so they have to rely on a kinda broken fan, and then at the climax, it thunderstorms. You feel like you’re suffering in the heat just like all of them. And idk abt u but i get cranky as fuck in hot weather. And they all comment on this. The baseball guy is annoyed that he’s gonna miss the baseball game, which is, laughably, the only thing changing his verdict on executing a boy. When it starts pouring outside, he’s given up and decides Not Guilty. Now the best stuff is in the dialogue and acting. Its just…SO clever. Because yes, the way the main character defends his opinions and how he is able to logically weave beneath the surface facts told at the court is unbelievably smart. The way the script guides us step-by-step on his thought process lets us know whats happening all the time. But the most amazing part is how we are able to understand the other ppls ideals in the jury through their decisions about the boy. Its not just “oh this guy wants to vote guilty. He’s a bad guy inside. He just wants to kill people, or maybe he’s just a sadist that we could never empathize with.” Its difficult!! Because in the beginning, 11 out of 12 want to just get out of there and vote guilty! And its not like none of us have ever given a quick decision to just get out of a fucking annoying situation. MAYBE we wouldnt exactly think straight, if 10 other people in a room with you unanimously agree Guilty, its hot, and u just want to go home. Its so possible!! And this movie exploits some of the most unnoticeable habits that we have, such as impatience, or prejudice. Prejudice is such a huge thing in this movie. One man believes that bc the boy has grown up from the slums, hes trash, and is just bred to be a murderer. We can cross him off the “i would sympathize with him” list. BUT ONE SECOND another man also has a prejudice against the boy, but for a slightly better reason. He has used his own experience and grief with his own son and displaces all of this unto his opinion. Let’s say, you’ve grown up your entire life hating your father for abusing you. I think its just impossible to say that you’ve never felt just a TINY little bit of prejudice against other ppls fathers??? Im rambling, and i cant speak for everyone obviously, but just a thought. And i know that people can grow out of their circumstances, but i think its impossible to completely forget. Setting aside the moral aspects of the characters, their attitudes are also great examples of flaws within the American legal system, and the idea that democracy is a pure thing. I love how even though the old man, who was the second person to stand up for the Not Guilty verdict, still would have executed the boy if everyone else would have. Its upsetting, but it forces us to reflect on ourselves, and how we can never be sure that we’re doing the right thing. Because we all make mistakes as people, and nobody wants to be alone in their thoughts, so its just safer to agree with others sometimes. We get lazy, we get tired, and we tend to label everything as “good” or “bad”. But the most important thing in 12 Angry Men is that: 1. Nothing is certain 2. We must always think things through to the end 3. We need other people to grow. This movie doesn’t care about whether or not the boy really was a murderer, and they make sure to tell you that its up to us. Fuck w me

3/10 Use of the literal atmosphere to create tension 1/10 The comeback of the century, “But you wouldnt REALLY kill me, would you?” 5/10 Logic shit 1/10 Im emotional whats wrong with me

=10/10

#12 angry men #10/10

[hottakeswithdasom]

Baby Driver

I watched this thing TWICE in the theaters and i never do that like holy shit thank u edgar wright for gracing this movie unto earth The best thing about this movie is how outright self-indulgent it is??? Like its great bc its just a fun action movie and doesnt pretend to be anything more than that?? And i hate heterosexual white love stories in movies alot i really do. But luckily, baby driver isnt a love story NECESSARILY, rather it had love in it, but rlly its just a movie about a kid doing cool stunts and shit and thats alright. BOI I FUCKING LOVED ALL OF THE ACTION SCENES they were just the best part of the movie and i respect how much effort was put into the choreography. I read online that apparently when edgar wright had this movie is the works in the 90s, he had created a playlist of music FIRST to drive the choreography around. And BOI did they get it RIGHT!!! It rlly felt like a collaberation between the artists and the movie, which is super refreshing. Its fun recognizing a lot of songs u used to listen to as a kid and realizing how much potential they had in a movie like this!! AND THE RUNNING SCENE IS ONE THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET i literally downloaded the song hocus pocus by focus bc it brings me back to that free-wildin spirit I realize focusing on the plot and character isnt gonna be useful, bc nobody rlly gives a shit anyways so its cool. But damn they really played up the "bad ppl squad" stereotypes ESP with jamie foxx as the crazy dude?? And that other girl that wasnt debora??? Wearing a freaking fur coat on a mission like lmao goals man john ham. He was my fucking fav and he was so hansom I rlly loved how this movie made u feel all kinds of emotion without letting u realize it?? Like that one part where they knock baby out and then when he wakes up, jamie foxx rolls in on the foster father's wheelchair? Like THATS FUCKED UP and instead of telling us that they trashed his home, u could literally get all the information u needed just from that one simple action. It was so insulting, but effective. ALSO the part where baby walks in the diner prepared to run away w debora, but then u see JOHN HAM WITH A GUN like holy shit the timing and music for how shocked and worried i was for that encounter was unbelievably perfect. And lol idc about the debora relationship bc clearly its not realistic like girl...u just met the dude u dont need to swear ur allegiance to him after a dinner and no movie If i had to shit on one thing, it would be the dialogue. Like....ppl would make disses and try to insult ppl but it ended up sounding so STILTED like r u serious i cant even imagine anyond threatening me with those weird phrases i would just die from laughter. Theyre all p much from jamie foxx's character, like that one part where kevin spacey defends baby and hes just like "fuck yo baby" like what a weird thing to say but ok i guess u like to fuck babies??? All in all, walking into the theater, i completely expected a shitshow of dumbass car sequences of ppl just doing nothing but drive cars fast bc that what happens in almost all movies with car chases. They're always terrible and nobody cares. At least here, edgar wright wasnt afraid of anyone picking the choreography apart bc thats EXACTLY what he worked so hard on!!! He even made sure to time the beat of the music to the action, and so between cuts we dont get lost at all from ansel elgort to the villian, whether its the police, some stranger guy in a four wheeler, or john ham. One of my fav car stunts was where baby drives up the wall in the parking lot and uses the other cars as shields from bullets??? Like that shit is CLEVER i wouldve never thought of that!!! And props to jarrin for showing me that baby casually tossing the toy car off of the table was FORESHADOWING THE ENDING like wow!! Thats so awesome!!! What a gem What a pleasant surprise. It just goes to show that not all movies have to have some hidden deep message. A movie can exist to entertain, and as long as its honest with itself, it'll be so much better than any emotional drama. 3/10 Visuals!!! Awesome transitions and clever use of cuts and angles 2/10 MUSIC (esp the part where the squad is robbing the post office and the carnival music gradually picks up when we realize that the mission is fucked and that jamie foxx has to die) 1/10 Finding out that Darling and john ham have matching tattoos 3/10 somehow sympathizing with the ending even though realistically baby deserves a life-sentence in jail bc hes. a. murderer. 1/10 the sign language for "lady" =9/10

#baby driver #9/10

[hottakeswithdasom]

La La Land

After watching The Devil Wears Prada i immediately needed to watch a GOOD movie, so i ended up watching this academy-award winning movie made officially this time last year. People i love rave about this movie. I did not like it...unfortunately So basically i fucking hated emma stone's character. Like wow. What a truly terrible person she was. Ryan reynolds-i mean-ryan gosling also had a very questionable role. I was dead unlucky in trying to watch a movie thats NOT about white people all the time!!! But ok. Lets push aside race, and focus solely on the movie as itself for now. Movie starts off p interesting with a very colorful cast of clearly talented ppl who can sing, dance, and act. All kinds of nationalities, LITERALLY shoving the fact that theyre all wearing different colors and have different colored cars in ur face. Its great and amazing. Too bad that doesnt represent the cast of characters AT ALL. Emma Stone is in a montage of being a sad coffee waitress who wants to act for a living in Los Angeles. Ok. But the bitch is SO rude!!! She doesnt even pay attention to driving on the freaking highway, she spills coffee on this one guy, and she gets sassy when someone asks if a food is gluten-free(which is a MEDICAL ISSUE that shouldnt be coughed up to being "a typical hipster complaint") all just so she can pursue her career as an actress. So. She goes to audition. GIRL. LEARN. HOW TO. ACT!!! In no way am i trashing Emma Stone's acting, to be clear. When i refer to her, i refer to her character's own attempts at acting....which is bad. So she sucks at acting. Wow, her life is so hard, she has to own a fancy car, have only one job as a coffee waitress to pursue her acting dream, a super fancy apartment with matching wall decals that prove how dedicated she is to film, a RICH and LOVING boyfriend, AND...she gets to go to rich parties and wear fancy dresses. What a hard, hard life. But wait a motherfucking second!!!! RYAN MY BOI Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. Your love of playing piano and jazz i respect. You wanting to own a jazz club is perfectly fine. What i don't understand is this movie's INSISTENCE that Ryan is "preserving the history of jazz". What a crock of shit. Ryan sweeps Emma Stone off her feet, the two of them with a megaphone mantra "REACH...FOR THE STARRRRRSSSSS!!!!" Emma Stone CHEATS on her didn't-do-a-fucking-thing-wrong boyfriend to see a movie with Ryan Gosling. And that movie is: Rebel Without A Cause. Another showstopper about a sad white couple. So good for them, i guess. Ryan subsequently "teaches" her about the beauty of jazz, and how amazing it is. Fair enough. One might even say he is teaching her about how to live life? EH. If you think about it, this movie's plot is heavy on Ryan teaching Emma Stone how to live life, instead of the other way around. It's subtle, but REALLY can you find one scene where Emma teaches him about the wonders of acting??? NOPE THEN JOHN LEGEND SHOWS UP and plays the villianous role of stealing Ryan away from the pure form of jazz into pop electronica. Because its evil now. In this universe. Like, really? Of ALL the people you could've had play either of those roles, you had to have RYAN WHITE BOY GOSLING play a character that wants to preserve a music genre originally created by african americans fighting against the "sell-out" JOHN LEGEND, who in reality is a talented african-american musician????? This argument is not mine to make, so I won't try to delve further than that, but huh. Like, there are so many other talented jazz musicians that deserve to be in Ryan Gosling's shoes that its such a waste of talent. And I hope someone freaking noticed that the entire movie felt like the producers were checking off a box on a list labelled ENOUGH MINORITIES AND INTERRACCIAL COUPLES IN THE BACKGROUND SO PEOPLE WON'T CALL US OUT. Anyways, the two have some emotional fight and break up for following their dreams or smthing...idunno... I've heard a lot of people complaining about the ending of this movie, but TBH i thought it was better than the rest of the movie. OF COURSE Emma Stone somehow...is successful...richER...and back to the man she once cheated on. Ryan's good too. The end. What a moving love story. Love me a female protagonist that cheats on her boyfriend to follow her acting career supported by INVISIBLE MONEY Seriously though. If a movie is going to have the pivital message be "follow your dreams", then it better be a godamn children's animated feature film. Because i feel like as a generation, we're beyond that whole 20th century america thing...you know, that thing? Where you can achieve anything as long as you believe in magic? Yeah, no. Its just plain insulting to people who actually work hard. 3/10 Music, cinematography, lighting, acting, etc., etc. 1/10 Finding out it took Ryan Gosling only three months to play the piano 1/10 Living vicariously through Emma Stone because we all secretly want to be a dreamy doe-eyed girl that makes it big so our previous coffee-shop coworkers know that they should've worshipped me back then. they should've known that i was always better than them. they should've had bigger aspirations like me. that everyone would know the name "not actually emma stone". =5/10

#la la land #5/10

[hottakeswithdasom]

The Devil Wears Prada

First time watching this movie and like wow i didn't miss out on much at all except for Meryl Streep's fun acting Hello white girl im so sorry u can afford an apartment in NEW YORK CITY and can go to amazing parties with your friends and bf even before the movie begins U gotta be shitting me how did u even land a job as a secretary for her like dont u have to be QUALIFIED??? Theres a scene where Anne Hathaway picks up the phone and the other person on the line says "Gabbana" and shes like "sorry, dunno that name could u spell it" like GIRL how tf do u work there and not know what dolce gabbana is im like 12 years old bitch Quirky white girl strikes again w her "humble" background 😒 she literally got the job for being a rude BITCH And idk about u but the only person i cared about was Meryl Streep and she was THE BAD GUY like wow apparently working hard to follow your dreams and not making motherhood ur lifelong obsession makes u a bad person in this movie??? Like FUCK Anne Hathaway. If i got that job and got the chance to go to paris bc my coworker is being incompetent? FUCK them u didnt do anything wrong real friends dont want you to stop u from following ur dreams godamn And her bf kept being a brat bc she missed his birthday bc she was working like holy shit dont be a baby ok?? ITS OK its not a national tragedy if someone wants to take care of themselves by working hard instead giving u a goddang (literal) cupcake ur hair looks like ass But to be fair tho Anne Hathaway was CHEATING on her BOYFRIEND like what a fucking bitch u dont do that if youre trying to uphold yourself as a modern woman aight u dont need another guy to sleep with you and tell you that his boss is gonna betray ur boss to know that CHEATING ON PEOPLE IS WRONG LMAOOO but anyways her boyfriend is like "now that youre pretty u r mean to me" and he thinking that her job is literally just wearing pretty clothes and thats it like fuck the fuck off All that aside, the fashion in the movie itself was very 2000s and could nowadays easily pass for middle school faux fashion Literally the amount of leopard print i saw was frankly, disturbing. I actually laughed a lot when i realized that the "high-end" fashion ppl all wore super heavy smokey eye shadow that made it look like they got punched in both eyes and this movie was basically that. just anne hathaway's transition from country hick to looking like she was punched in the face. And this ONE BITCH'S HAIR. GIRL. It was a MULLET with WHITE STREAKS like i have never seen this most HIDEOUS THING IN MY LIFE In the end, Anne Hathaway decides that shes better than Meryl Streep. She tosses her 5 dollar flip-phone into a fountain and walks away after an extremely psychological conversation about betrayal. Wow. Amazing. In conclusion. Meryl streep is my queen. Fuck white people. 1/10 Middle school/old ppl combination fashion 1/10 2000's humor 2/10 Meaningless conversation i couldnt hear bc everyone is whispering anyways = 4/10

#the devil wears prada #4/10