holdenwhy-blog

[holdenwhy-blog]

kaylcs:

                 ❛ the charm’s turned on, i see. ❜ kayla replied, her lips curving into a gentle grin. ❛ a shot of vodka, to begin with. ❜ she added, nodding softly. 

“it’s more of a character trait, i'd like to think. but, ya know, it's not hard to be charmin' with someone as pretty as you to charm.” holden nodded softly, ordering them two shots of vodka. “what’s a pretty gal like you doin’ here? this bar is...honestly the shittiest thing ever.”

#( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #this is so late and i apologize bc i am trash? #kayla

[holdenwhy-blog]

ffsemerald:

“are you serious? oh my god, we’re so getting you drunk tonight, possibly laid.” she said with a grin, “what job do you even have that brains is something you deal with.”

“POSSIBLY? shit, go big or go home, right?” he grinned, his face brightening with glee at her question. “i’m learnin’ to be a brain surgeon, doll. i finished my schooling and now i’m a resident in training. it’s stressful, lemme tell ya.”

#this is late pls throw me in the trash #( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #emerald

[holdenwhy-blog]

fadeykas:

  IF only he knew, she thought. ( if only he knew how much he meant to me,  how he managed to break and heal my heart with a single look, how he made me cry; but holden didn’t know. ) he was never going to find out either, that was fadeyka’s deal. she imagined him thinking about her every single night, a twisted way to keep her fragile heart happy. but the thing is, it was only her imagination. a fantasy. an escape from the ugly truth, that she was never going to be loved again. holden’s love for her was an illusion fadeyka chose to believe in, even though it gradually started to eat her alive. she was playing with FIRE, making him her SUN, complaining when it burned. it was easy to believe in such a vision, but deep down, fade knew. the boy was toying with her, that was for sure. he was interested in her features, but there was nothing else for him to like. & when he got bored, he was going to toss her away, like an used napkin, then move on. blonde wanted to just stop, push a button and make this mess go away, but he was standing right there, accusing her with mixed signals. was he wrong? god no. it was her fault, thinking she could be friends with him.  smile while she was dying to kiss him, hug, only to let go once again. bottom lip quivering, blonde opened her mouth; only dust and swallowed pride came out. his abrupt blowup pushed her to take a step back, looking at the floor, avoiding eye contact. “it’s never gonna happen.” 

“see? was that so hard?” Holden’s voice was empty, lacking anything close to emotion of any kind. he felt his heart skip a single beat at her words followed by a whirlwind of anxiety setting in his stomach and trailing up his throat, having him choke on his own words. when Holden was little, he would have small fits of anxiety that he could never explain to anyone. when they would happen, he would close his eyes and breathe deeply like his mother had told him to do. count to ten, air through the nose and out the mouth. but, maybe this wouldn’t help when it came to heartbreak. this was a different feeling wrapped up in something familiar but it was simply his heart breaking. the boy knew that feeling all too well, but personal experience did it make the blow any softer. “i was fine before you,” he finally said, his hands hitting his sides with a soft sound. “i was fine by myself, fine with my choices and perfectly fine with having myself at the end of the day. but you, you changed everything and i can’t   “ his voice choked up, but Holden would never allow himself to cry in front of anyone, especially in such a circumstance. “...you don’t get to do that, Fadeyka. you can’t make me fall for you or...whatever, and act like all of this meant nothing. are we really just friends and i’ve been reading this all wrong? because...i can’t believe that.”

#this took 75 yrs #sorry b #but i mean this is some quality shit i wrote rite???????? #( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #fadeyka #anxiety tw #i might've sped up some fEELINGS FOR U KNOW #TIMING PURPOSES

[holdenwhy-blog]

modern-cajun-casanova:

“Money, fame, ass. Whatever’s easiest to come by.”

“what kinda guy do you think i am? i have...actually, two of the three but why would i give you money or ass for a drink? i need about five more drinks for that.”

#( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #marquis

[holdenwhy-blog]

I can say with great certainty and absolute honesty that I did not know what love was until I knew what love was not.

Anonymous (via wnq-anonymous)

#( *･ ☾ never found 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 in the city → musings. )

[holdenwhy-blog]

self care is drinking 3 pots of coffee and getting into a knife fight w god

#( *･ ☾ never found 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 in the city → musings. ) #q.

[holdenwhy-blog]

“i’m FULL of surprises, but so are you. just so...fuckin’ full of surprises and shit.” Holden rolled his eyes at the the blond in front of him, a mixture of anger and strong annoyance getting to the best of him. “if you say so, Daddy Daycare. and why the fuck would we go to dinner? you tryna bed me or somethin’?” he asked. “no, i’m not a movie talker but i always just assumed you were. you look like one. anyways, you sure you don’t wanna go to the strip club? it’s a good way to help finance some beautiful women with some ones.”

there was an unamusing on the blond’s face was evident, “awh, you SAVE lives? never would have guessed, really, you surprise me.” he says, “you never know, kids are pretty perceptive. i don’t know? dinner, the movies, that’s a good one because then i don’t have to listen to you talk. unless you’re a movie talker, are you a fucking movie talker?”

#tbh...sam e #( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #parker #and i rlly wrote my whole reply around this gif so i could use it #i hate iT OMg

[holdenwhy-blog]

the forced laugh she gave off caused his smile to quickly DISAPPEAR, leaving him with nothing but a small, subtle frown. her quick change in attitude left him quite speechless, a little confused as well. did he do something wrong? something out of limits? did they even have limits, he wondered. a feeling of panic was starting to burn down his chest as he took a small step back away from the girl, a small and somewhat confident chuckle his defense mechanism. Holden knew very well how he was, how he treated others and spoke to people. he was a sweet-talker, knowing how to get what he wanted with a few sweet nothings and some small gestures, but this was all different with her. with Fade, everything felt genuine. from their small conversations with glancing eyes and blushing cheeks to his outbursts of compliments, he meant it all. so, him getting quickly defensive was deemed justified to his own self. “quit? quit what?” he asked, a snark in his tone. “quit liking you? i mean, i would quit as soon as you let me know that it’s never gonna happen, but you just so happen to be the Queen of Mixed Fuckin’ Signals.”

    “THAT is sad, even for a gremlin like you.” for six years, she had managed to steer clear of the intangible concept many called love. it was easy to say that fade learned from her mistakes; diving into love with her eyes shut was one of them. for six years, she was doing just fine – until holden came along. at first, it was all fun and games; he was charming, funny and caring. but the last month had been pretty harsh on her, seeing him everyday, having feels she’s too afraid to name. his cute nicknames, that was something she could endure, but the flirt was getting too much. blonde loathed herself when she glimpsed his smirk, an evidence of the power she had given him. mood changing swiftly, she forced herself to laugh at his comment. “i wonder who the delegates are, because clearly, they have no idea what romance is.” she didn’t know either, but it wasn’t the point. a joke again, she thought, almost too disappointed to function – or was it anger? he was the lothario, she knew that before befriending him but the whole adding salt to wound wasn’t what she asked. ���when are you going to quit?” asked the girl, sounding way too exhausted than she expected. 

#tbh i had to listen to sad spoken poetry to write this #so this is what i got smh #( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #fadeyka

[holdenwhy-blog]

“quid pro quo, huh? alright, what would you like?”

“I don’t mind payin’, as long as I get somethin’ in return.”

#it's like looking at the sunset #( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #marquis

[holdenwhy-blog]

“don’t go and be disrespecting your elders, now,” he snarked in reply, a toying smile setting on his face. “well, i honestly didn’t even realize it was my birthday until my ma tried callin’. but, y’know, you could still make the cupcakes if you’d like. i’m not stoppin’ ya.” Holden stared at the woman, a small groan passing through his lips. “just a couple? that’s LAME.”

“jeez, you’re an old man now,” she teased, despite the fact that she’d also be turning twenty-five in just a few short months. “why didn’t you say somethin’ though? i would’ve made you cupcakes or something. but i can’t promise i’ll drink the night away with you, but i’ll join you for a couple drinks, i guess.”

#( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #olivia

[holdenwhy-blog]

“i’ll take your word on that, darlin’.” when the words dive bar came into play, Holden couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at the comparison. “i’m not entirely sure if that’s a good thing, but i’ll take it anyways.” he hadn’t known the woman for even a day and he was already starting to like her; she seemed to be straight forward and full of spunk, something he could always appreciate. “exactly! milk is very vital and anyone who thinks differently better be putting water in their cereal.” with a nod and a small smile, he accepted her offer to buy him his first tea. “well, that’s very nice of ya. i’ll have to return the offer sometime. maybe we can try lookin’ around again, explore the place together.”

“You’d be smart by keeping your distance, the only good reason to go in there is for their red velvet. Besides, you’re right, you’ve more of a dive bar kinda sorta thing. In a good way,” Lili said easily, never being one to shy away from saying what she thought. “That’s pretty fucking useful actually, you never know when there’ll be a late night milk emergency. It’s best to be prepared,” she commented, trying and failing to sound even remotely serious. “How can I refuse an offer like that? I’ll even buy your first one. Call it altruistic.”

#my subconscious is a fake bitch im sorry :// #( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #lili

[holdenwhy-blog]

“now, what kinda guy do you think i am, Lottie? i’m not some gross pervert who’s lookin’ for sex. if i really wanted to get in your scrubs, i would’ve asked. jeez, you don’t gotta hurt me.” he looked down at the hospital floor, his shoe roughly rubbing against the ground as he awaited a response. though his voice was serious and blunt, it was the most bullshit he had spewed all damn day. “i’ll buy you a drink. two if you want.”

      lottie paused, thrown of by the sudden question. “drink the night away?” turning around for a moment she gave the man once over, eyes lighting with recognition, before raising a brow. “should i be considering this sexual harassment or do you ask all the naive nurses just to get into their scrubs?” 

#( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #lottie #this is so bad pls im trash

[holdenwhy-blog]

“i...you’re killin’ me, man. you’re straight-up MURDERING me.” Holden shook his head, a sign of defeat. “okay, we’ll do whatever you wanna do. i’m sure it has to be better than...whatever this conversation is. but if you’d like to know what i’m eating tomorrow, it’s nine out of ten gonna be leftover Chinese food. you can join but it’s like, half a carton. small portions all around.”

‘ i’m actually NOT jesus, sorry to d i s a p p o i n t. that bit wasn’t intentional       i guess buzzkill is a part of the job these days. sit and think? oh yeah, that sounds like a great plan. what are we thinking about? the creation of the universe? what you’re going to eat for dinner tomorrow? that sounds enthralling all around. ’

#( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #oliver

[holdenwhy-blog]

“yeah, it’s a shame.” he agreed, smirking at the girl in front of him. “but, i dunno, gettin’ a drink with you definitely makes up for it. order whatever, i’ll pay.”

     when the word drink came up, her lips curved into a gentle grin, she was already convinced. ❛ i truly do feel for you, it’s a shame you missed out on birthday celebrations & all that. ❜ kayla said, a soft nod following her words. ❛ a drink doesn’t sound half bad. ❜

#ahh thank u #and srry he's Gross #( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #kayla

[holdenwhy-blog]

“...drink a cold one and watch a hockey game.” he repeated, confusion written all over his features. “that sounds so...boring, and sad. birthdays are fun. it means you’re another year older and another year wiser. also, it’s a celebration because you aren’t dead yet. never in my life have i heard someone so deadbeat about their special day. are you like that about everythin'?”

“oh wow – you really got me there.” he snarked in reply. “any age over twenty one is a useless celebration. so no, i don’t really celebrate my birthday. usually i just drink a cold one and watch a hockey game. that’s enough of a ‘ celebration ’ for being one year closer to death.”

#LITTLEFOOT OMG #I CANT BELIRVR U #but tru #hi oli im sydney and this is my son littlefoot #( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #damian

[holdenwhy-blog]

“let’s be real    you’re bubbles and i’m the evil princess morbucks. it’s a fitting character for me, i’d like to think.” something between them had changed significantly in their past two months of friendship. it was safe to say that Fadeyka had him downright WHIPPED, no doubts about it. what made it pathetic on his part was that she didn’t even give him the time of day, the feelings never reciprocated. but, she didn’t seem to mind his compliments either. a too confident smirk toyed on his lips when she pulled away as he knew he had done something to get her all up in daze. “whatya mean i’m not romantic? i’m the most romantic guy in this town. trust me, i was voted into this status by a team of delegates.” Holden rolled his eyes, a small sigh filling the air. “i’m not askin’ to hangout, i’m askin’ for a date. y’know, flowers, dinner, movie    the whole shebang. oh, that was you at my place? i thought it was the other Fadeyka.”

   “HEY, i don’t hate everything good!! remember, i’m the bubbles of this two people powerpuff girls. you can be blossom, but i kinda don’t like her.” her face was shining, an effect of his presence. his actions took her by surprise, fade was too caught up in him to realize how close they were standing. heart rapidly beating, blonde gazed at his friend through her thick lashes. “y-you would be surprised.” there she was, revealing too much again.  goddamn it, she thought, using a fake cough to excuse her sudden step back and free her hands from him. slightly bewildered, she laughed. “you? romantic? give me a break!! – OH, yeah, right. totally forgot about that, sorry, holly. but sure thing, we should do hangout. i still haven’t recovered from your birthday night, but yes.”

#boi #( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #fadeyka

[holdenwhy-blog]

“much appreciated, Sir.” Holden took a cigarette out of the box and placed it between his lips, his features reading as curious.. “how old?” he asked, searching his pocket for a light. “work, mainly. a girl, possibly. life in general."

William stared for a moment before opening his pack and handing him one. “It’s a hell of a addiction, I recommend not to start now, I got screwed when I was a kid. What’s making you on edge?”

#( *･ ☾ the ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ nothings → chat. ) #william