hockey-hoe-24-7

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Should Have Seen it Sooner ~ Vince Dunn 

Summary: You make the decision to go visit your brother, Sammy, after graduating university. But that visit quickly becomes much more than you ever would have anticipated. 

Warnings: verbal arguments, language, smut (nothing overly detailed)

Word Count: `13.5k

A/N: Let’s all pretend that Vince isn’t about to be traded ahahaha…I’m sad. 

Your brother had always been your best friend. Even when you were kids and you refused to do so much as admit you liked him. He was the one who you would run to in the middle of the night when you were six and going through a phase of horrible nightmares. He would walk you back to your room, check under the bed and in the closet and lay with you till you fell asleep again. And when you were a little older and started having bad anxiety at school you would sit in the guidance counsellor’s office and refuse to talk to anyone but Sammy, who they would reluctantly pull out of class to come calm you down. When he had a bad loss in a hockey game he would come home and watch terrible reality tv with you, never wanting to talk about the game. He was the first person to make fun of you when you got a bad haircut but was also the first person to come to your defence when someone else made a comment about it. He picked you up drunk from many highschool parties, promising not to tell mom and dad. You helped him with girl issues, carefully constructing text messages to girls he liked, planning his dates for him and giving him pep talks before those dates. 

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[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Skating Practice • Colton Dach

you were done putting it off. today, you were finally going to learn how to skate. 

word count: 5.5k

warnings: cursing, lack of editing lol

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[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Sunkissed (pt. 1)

Pairing: Andrei Svechnikov/female!Reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: You’ve been in love with Andrei for as long as you can remember. When you first got hired to work in the Social Media Department and met some of the members of the team, just one look at the hockey star’s brilliant smile and you were in deep. Your heart truly broke though when he introduced his girlfriend after a game and you had to pretend you were happy for him. Now you had to watch as they became happily engaged, knowing you'd never be the light in Andrei's life like he was for you.

Warnings: Cursing, consumption of alcohol, angst, no happy ending

A/N: Literally, the idea to write this just completely popped into my head. No regrets tho. I hope you guys cry while reading this. No mercy. (I’m kidding 😭 or am I???)

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. This is not meant to be hate towards Andrei and Julia who are a very happy couple together, which therefore means I'm happy for them as well. This is merely a work of entertainment that in no way, shape, or form represents real life.

Translations:

¹Солнышко - Little sun

²Прости, мне очень жаль - I'm sorry, so sorry

You were a happy person. You always had been. Never really got mad, had never been all that sad before, and you got along with just about everyone you met.

How could you not, with your love for the world and your ability at seeing the best in people? Yet, there was only one person you really, truly struggled to get along with. And that person was Julia. The only one.

And who was Julia, exactly?

Andrei Svechnikov's, probably the only person you had ever had a crush on, girlfriend.

Really, there was nothing to hate about her, which made you feel even more guilty about your dislike of the girl. Nobody you knew had any ill-feelings towards her, and how could they? She was perfect in every which-way.

A tall, thin model with a stunning laugh and smile, a personality that drew everyone in until they were just as enraptured with her as Andrei was.

She had towered over you, only you, in expensive heels she wore the first night you met her, blonde hair perfectly styled as it fell to her back in waves. Her stunning, round blue eyes that crinkled ever-so-slightly as she laughed were no match against your ordinary looks you thought you had.

And you absolutely hated that about her, hated how she could look so effortlessly beautiful and how she was perfect for Andrei even if you felt bad about it.

You hated how Andrei's arm curled around her waist and how he pressed sweet kisses to her cheeks, you hated how you wished for nothing more than to be Julia in those moments, with a perfectly manicured hand intertwined with his own and able to say that the gorgeous, sweet man next to her was yours.

Julia wasn't mean to you, either. And that was the problem. She was so nice and friendly, easy to get along with and oblivious to the way you were in love with her boyfriend as Andrei introduced you to her.

God, you hated being in love with him. You hated how the innocent hugs and a brush of his hand on your waist made your heart flutter and how the random grins he would send you during interviews would make your palms sweat.

You hated how he just thought of you as his friend.

You hated as months and months continued to pass and Andrei was just as in love with her as when he met her, you hated how he began to come to you for advice on clothes to wear on a date with her or what he should get her for Valentine's day, and you hated how eventually he started showing you different pictures of engagement rings he wanted to propose to her with.

Luckily, after the first time he asked for advice on rings, after you had explained that you were quite under qualified to give advice considering you hadn't been in a serious relationship in years, Andrei backed off with a sheepish smile and put his phone away.

"Sorry," he had grinned, flashing you an apologetic smile before he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "You're the first person I wanted to ask, since you're my best friend and all, and you're also a girl, so…" Biting his lip, he had looked back up at you hoping you had understood his point.

You did. You understood, as much as it hurt you to do so.

"It's okay," You'd forgiven him immediately, because what else was there left to do? "Maybe ask one of the older guys, or one of their wives? They'd probably be able to give better advice," You offered quietly, voice coming off as a lot more meek than you wanted it to.

Andrei had been confused at your sudden change in tone, but he didn't show it except for a slight furrow in his brow. Because you were a good actress, always had been. But that never occurred in his mind as your expression changed so quickly he had no time to wonder why you had looked so sad, so it made forgetting the slight jump of concern in his gut easier to ignore.

Resting your chin on top of your folded hands, you watched as he thanked you before he rushed out of your office with a hasty wave, calling out to Jordan Martinook who had conveniently just passed your office.

He didn't talk to you about rings or engagement after that, but you still heard enough rumors to leave your heart aching.

You'd hear the whispers from the interns as you passed by a group of them in the hall, how they had seen Andrei at jewelry stores courtesy of paparazzi, how one of them overheard a conversation between Julia and another WAG about how she caught Andrei looking at rings on his phone.

This brings you to where you were today, at a restaurant venue you had frequented with Andrei and his teammates numerous times for the past several years, but this time you weren't alone.

Or, what was the saying? Surrounded by people yet still felt alone? That was you.

Standing in the corner, leaning against the table was you trying to hold it together as a swarm of people congratulated Andrei and Julia on their engagement, a shiny new ring on her finger she proudly displayed it for anyone who asked to look.

You hadn't yet gathered the courage to approach them and congratulate them yourself yet, and you knew you should have been the first to shout your happiness with Andrei being your best friend - even if you wanted to be so much more - but you just… Couldn't.

"Hey, you okay?" A voice abruptly shook you out of your thoughts, and when you jumped to face whoever spoke you came face-to-face with Sebastian looking at you with both concern and curiosity.

Smile. Fake it 'till you make it. They can't know. "Yeah, I'm great! Why, what's up?" You chirped, your lips immediately tilting upwards into a gentle, content, fake smile that you'd somehow mastered over the years.

You'd fooled everyone up until now, you'd even fooled Andrei, the subject of your misery— everyone up until Sebastian.

"Mhmm," the Finnish player hummed, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

The funny thing was, you and Sebastian weren't close. With your bubbly, happy-go-lucky personality compared to his need for space and quiet, the two of you had never clicked the way you and Andrei did. And yet, he had been the first one to notice the way you isolated yourself from the party, from your best friend, and really that should have been another sign all on its own.

Being no stranger towards hiding his emotions, he knew a person drowning in their feelings when he saw one.

Sebastian ran a finger across the rim of his drink thoughtfully, tilting his head as he met your eyes. "Nothing, really. It's just that you seem…" The hockey player watched you carefully, and when he saw the tenseness in your smile he knew he was hitting close to something. "I dunno. Withdrawn, quiet even. Which is new for you."

You laughed rather emptily, avoiding his eyes as you wondered how a guy you barely knew could see your pain better than the one who was causing it. "Just not feeling the partying mood, I guess." You murmured quietly, briefly lifting your head to meet his eyes.

"You aren't happy for them?" He asked carefully, gesturing towards the happy couple. Guessing, searching for the reason you were acting so opposite from your normal self.

"No!" You exclaimed, quickly lowering your voice when a few heads turned towards you at your raise of voice. "No, of course I am," You eventually admitted, if not a bit more hesitantly.

And you were happy for them. Or rather, you were happy for the elated grin on Andrei's face as he held Julia close to him, the way he seemed so happy and content with the decision to spend the right of his life with Julia.

He deserved to be happy. Deserved to find that perfect someone, even if you secretly wished it was you at his side rather than the pretty blonde next to him.

"But…?" Sebastian continued for you, following your conflicted gaze to Andrei who was currently laughing at something Julia said.

You winced, having to force yourself to turn away from the happy couple and face your friend. "But… It's just hard watching. Knowing he's moving on with his life and I'm still stuck in the same place as I was when I graduated college. Y'know?" It wasn't the complete truth, but it was partial. It was hard watching, but you also wished it was you he was moving forward in his life with.

Not her.

You couldn't tell if Sebastian bought it or not, as careful at disguising his emotions as he was, but luckily he seemed to let it go and just gave you a somber smile before turning his attention back to the celebration in the middle of the room.

"No, I don't know, actually. I never went to college." He joked wryly, glad to see the small chuckle he evoked from you.

"Funny," You drawled, copying his position and leaning back against the table behind you to watch the celebration.

Sebastian merely grinned, and the two of you fell into a comforting silence as you stayed away from the crowd, content to nurse your drinks and in your case, take comfort in the fact you had a friend during what you thought was one of the most painful things you've ever had to endure.

Unbeknownst to you, Andrei had seen the cracks in your façade, saw the way your expression twisted into one of dread the moment he announced his engagement, expecting to see elation and happiness but instead finding the complete opposite.

The curling in his gut became stronger. He didn't understand why he wanted to yank his arm away from his girlfriend- fiancé next to him and pull you away from the room, wanting to see anything else other than the unshed tears in your eyes.

Julia turned to look at him then, with sparkling blue eyes and a laugh so perfect as their friends and family surrounded them with their love, and the nauseating guilt he was feeling in his stomach was momentarily forgotten once more, the love he had for you far unmatched by the love he felt for Julia in that moment.

Or at least, the love he thought he had.

And Sebastian saw it all. He saw the way Andrei would become distracted by you in the stands during practice, how he'd stop mid-drill to wave up at you or pose dramatically for a picture to post on their social media.

He saw the way his friend had the post notifications turned on for each of the accounts you ran, how a grin would light up his face when he'd see the snarky comments written by none other than you.

He saw the way he fell so quickly into a relationship with Julia, but yet how you never left his thoughts until engagement started to become a thing.

Sebastian saw it all, and he thought both you and Andrei were idiots.

You pulled through it though, miraculously somehow, staying at your best friend's damned engagement party for what felt like hours.

Several, long, agonizing hours of avoiding Andrei's eyes that steadily became more concerned at your silence and how you'd disappear into the crowd the moment he tried approaching you.

That was when you made your escape.

You bid your goodbyes to Sebastian and a few of your coworkers, all fairly intoxicated which is why they gave no second-glance towards your wobbly smile when you claimed you had to run back to the arena to grab something you left in your office.

And, well, the excuse wasn't a lie, you did have to run back to the office for the schedule for next week, and with it being only eight o'clock (surprisingly) you knew your boss was still stuck at work, giving you the perfect opportunity to sneak away.

Even if you felt bad about it.

The arena was practically empty other than the few employees finishing up their day as you let yourself in, makeup fixed and a happy fake smile on your face as you greeted your boss in their office.

"Hey, are you busy?" you greeted, letting yourself in after your boss gave the okay to come in. Your boss’s eyes lit up in recognition once she saw you, and with a small smile she waved you in. “Nothing but paperwork and analytics,” She sighed, arching her back and scooting forward in her rolling chair to reach you better. “What can I do for you?”

Your boss, a strict, older woman with square-framed glasses with warm blue eyes that often gave the new interns shivers, but for those of you who had been working under her for longer knew she had a heart of gold and would never do anything to hurt another.

“I need the schedule for next week’s posts, and maybe the week after that if it’s ready?” You asked, adjusting your bag in your arms with a small smile when she exclaimed that she had forgotten all about giving you the actual, physical copy.

Rummaging through her filing cabinets, she pulled out a stack of folders before digging through for the correct one. “Oh! Before you retire for the night, do you think you could post a quick message on the official Twitter and Instagram?” She asked distractedly, pulling out the correct posting schedule with a triumphant hum.

Taking it from her hands and briefly flipping through it, you paid her request no mind, used to making last-minute posts without an editor. “Sure, what for?”

“You were just at Svechnikov’s engagement party, right?”

You froze, slowly looking up to find your boss’s back facing towards you as she organized her files back into place. Damn it, you should have known.

“Yes,” You practically choked, swallowing harshly to keep the tears at bay that had just sprung up at the unintentional mention of the complete and utter heartbreak you felt.

None the wiser to your emotional state, she continued as she sank back into her chair. “I need you to make a post, tweet, whatever twitter calls it, congratulating them on he and Julia’s engagement, saying congratulations, wishing them the best… A typical celebration post, yeah? I think you’ve one before already,”

For the first time since taking this job, you wished you were working anywhere else. Despite just being a face behind the screen of the accounts, those of you at the arena knew you ran the accounts, Andrei knew, and having to pretend you were happy for him after just avoiding him at his party was a shit storm waiting to happen.

“Yeah, I have,” You managed to choke out, holding yourself together for the sake of your job and your dignity. Mental breakdowns at work were the last thing anyone wanted to happen. “Is that all?”

Your boss thankfully didn’t spare you a glance at your short responses, slowly becoming immersed in her own work now that her job with you was done. “Yeah, that’s all. Have a good night!”

All but practically rushing out of her office, you had just pushed the button for the elevator when the familiar voice of your boss was calling out your name.

She smiled from her doorway. Albeit, a short, somber smile, but it was enough that it had you returning the sentiment if not a bit confusedly. “Open a bottle of wine tonight, you look like you need it.” And then she was closing her office door, leaving you standing by the open elevator doors with a smile stuck between feeling amused and absolutely shattered.

And open a bottle of wine you did. Multiple, actually, despite the fact that you were a lightweight and barely drank enough to get beyond tipsy.

You at least had the forethought to get those heart wrenching posts out of the way first. Heart wrenching to you and to you only, a teary smile on your face as you pressed ‘Tweet’ on Twitter.

And it was instantaneous, the flood of likes, comments, both positive and negative. Normally the words of the snarky fans never bothered you, used to the rodeo that came with managing famous social medias, and if you were bothered it was because of the fans attacking the social media manager for the decisions made by the team you had no control of.

It was those types of comments that should be bothering you right now, if they were to upset you at all. Not the congratulatory ones, not the ones saying how happy they were for Andrei and Julia, how they made such a beautiful couple and deserved each other.

You shut your phone off the moment the notification popped up that Andrei liked the post.

Fuck it. If you were going to self-wallow, you were going to do it in comfy pajamas and with no makeup running down your face.

Eager (almost too eager) to break into a bottle of wine, you changed out of your work clothes and went away with your makeup, changing into a pair of sweats and an old hoodie you’d stolen from Andrei before he started dating Julia.

And gave all of his hoodies to her instead.

God, you felt petty. And shitty. Just a bad friend overall. What person wasn't happy for their best friend finding their other half? What person avoided them at their own engagement party and refused to meet their eyes?

One who was irrevocably in love with their friend, you figured.

You started slowly at first, taking pitying sips of the white wine straight from the bottle, not having the energy to go find a glass and pretend you were having a normal night of reflective drinking.

This was anything but. The hole in your chest that felt like a thousand bullets had pierced it all at once with no mercy hadn't gone away once, the way your heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces playing over and over again like you'd play your favorite song. It was agonizing, it was screaming into a black void knowing nobody could hear you, it was knowing that Andrei would never love you back.

It was knowing that they were probably at home, in their shared bed, whispering into the intimate silence of night with gentle caresses as you stared at your ceiling with the feeling of wanting to cry.

So cry you did. You cried until your throat was raw, cried until your eyes were spilling tears so heavy it looked like the tracks they left were mascara trails. You cried until you couldn't even take another sip of the mind-numbing alcohol because the choking on your hiccups was too strong.

Was this what being in love with someone felt like? Or just being in love with someone who didn't want you back?

Never again. Not if you could help it.

Your ears were ringing with the sound of your sobs, hair a tangled mess as the pounding in your head became steadily stronger until it was distinguishing itself as repetitive knocks coming from your door.

Maybe you were just going insane. Or getting drunk. Maybe your mind was trying to manifest a fantasy of Andrei magically realizing his love for you and abandoning Julia in their home, running to your apartment to confess his love for you.

Yeah, you were definitely drunk alright.

A muffled call of your name from behind the door made you pause in your thoughts, and you hesitantly set the wine bottle down as the voice became unfortunately clearer.

"Are you home?"

A brief pause.

"Nevermind, I know you're in there. Your lights are on."

More silence. Determination from him, stunned from you.

"Open up? Please? ¹Солнышко?"

Solnishko. Little sun. The nickname he had given you just a few days after you first met. He said you reminded him of the sun back home in Russia; strong, warm, and bright, and brings happiness to whoever looks at it, hence the sun.

And 'little' because you were short, according to him.

Everyone was fucking short to him. He was 6 foot and two goddamn inches.

…

So apparently you were an angry drunk, too.

Back then, you loved the nickname. It gave you butterflies, knowing he only gave the people he truly held close to him nicknames in his native tongue, and even more so because you represented something important from his home.

The mistake Andrei made was taking the neverending light and happiness you brought him for granted, not realizing that much like the sun your fiery glow would eventually come to an explosive end.

The insistent knocking quickly came to sound like nails against a chalkboard, and already caught up in your feelings of pity and anger you stomped over to your door and swung it open, your red eyes and scratchy voice on full display without a second thought.

"What?" You all but snarled, eyes narrowed and tone wobbly as you finally addressed him for the first time that night.

Andrei, as clueless as he was to some things, wasn't oblivious to pain. He knew you had your problems, had ranted to him numerous times over them before, but never had you cried over them, never had you looked so broken and out of place as you did standing right there in front of him.

"Are you crying?" He asked so quietly with those damned eyes of his already starting to pull you in, the concern in his voice making you want to forget he was an almost-married man and just fall into his arms.

Andrei tried taking a step forward, used to being automatically invited into your apartment, but this time you crossed your arms with a sniffle and he had to try hard to figure out why the hurt in his chest felt more like somebody was stabbing him at your rejection.

"No, I don't cry." You almost grumbled, immediately bringing the sleeve of your his hoodie to try and rid your cheeks of the tear stains that were on prominent display.

Andrei opened his mouth to reply, wondering how he ended up in such uncharted territory with you in a matter of seconds. He'd never seen you this defensive, this closed off, but once his eyes strayed past your form and saw the half-empty bottle of alcohol on your ottoman did at least some of your outlandish behavior make sense.

The Russian narrowed his eyes, leaning in closer towards your uneasy form and observing your dilated pupils and the antsy twitching of your fingers.

"Since when were you a night drinker? Or actually, since when did you drink at all?" He accused, confused and even a bit hurt by this side of you he had never seen before.

"I always drink. I just don't tell you because it's never been brought up. I don't tell you everything, you know." Your attempt at having a firm, steady voice was ruined by the slight hiccup in your words, but the dig you were trying to make at Andrei, perhaps a little unfairly, did the work, but you weren't as satisfied by the hurt expression on his face as you thought you'd be.

Now Andrei was confused. Even if the small voice in his head was telling him why you were acting like this, being so… Restrained with him, and perhaps this voice also had something to do with the constant feeling of guilt and regret bubbling in his gut.

"Clearly," he mumbled to himself, hesitantly following you into your apartment after you scoffed and without another look marched back into the room and grabbed your bottle of wine previously left abandoned.

"What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be with your family celebrating, or with Julia herself…" His fiancé's name sat heavy on your tongue, the grimace you wanted to let out at the thought of being married only just barely contained.

"Since your version of congratulations was a Twitter post and you never even spoke a word to me at my engagement party, I figured checking up on you after you left upset was something that needed to be done." His words were slow and punctuated, but most of all they sounded hurt, hurt that you weren't there on what he thought was seemingly the happiest day of his life.

Or maybe you were there, but your presence wasn't filling the room like he was used to.

And god, how you felt guilty at the thought of hurting him. You wished you could have held it together to congratulate him for forming his happily ever after with Julia. You wanted more than nothing to pretend everything was fine.

But the liquid courage was doing its job of drowning out that guilt, replacing it with defensiveness and anger at the fact that you loved him and he was too goddamn blind to see it.

Why couldn't he see it? Why couldn't he see the way your smile brightened when he entered the room? Why couldn't he see the way his touch evoked shivers from you, or the way his Russian accent would make your cheeks blush red?

Why didn't he love you back?

"I… had things going on." You weakly defended, and the way you avoided his eyes cemented the fact that you were hiding something from him, and nothing hurt Andrei more than to be left out, especially out of something that was clearly reaping havoc on your mind.

"You had things going on," he repeated, absolutely baffled and hurt at the way you were shutting him out. "And did those things happen to be getting drunk with Sebastian all night?"

Okay, fine. Andrei was jealous. But not because of what you might be thinking. He loved you, but he loved Julia more - right? - and that's what he thought to be true. Seeing you standing with his friend instead of him was just the added salt to a wound he didn't know existed yet.

Your heart thumped. It thumped the same exact way you thought Andrei might be returning your feelings until he waved it away with some friendly saying, and that wasn't something you wanted to be feeling right now.

Especially when he didn't mean it in the way you hoped he did.

Or did he?

"That's rich," You snorted almost thoughtfully, taking another swig of the wine bottle and relishing in the way it burned down your throat. "So you can be with Julia all night but I can't be with Sepe?"

"Are you serious right now?" Andrei gaped, completely and utterly in disbelief at how you were acting. Drunk you wasn't something he thought he ever wanted to experience again. "It was my engagement party, sorry if I'm a little upset my best friend didn't even congratulate me." He almost hissed, eyes narrowed and shoulders tense.

"Don't go changing the topic," You hissed, reaching forward to shove a finger into his chest. "You can have Julia next to your side but I can't hang around Sebastian?"

"That is not what I meant and you know it."

"No, actually, I don't think I do."

"Jesus christ-" Andrei threw his hands up, shooting up in frustration to run a hand through his hair. "Is there something you want to tell me? Because I want to be on the same page, but it's hard when you won't even look me in the eye."

For the first time since he entered your apartment, you quieted, his words awakening the part of you that was hurt, still fucking in love with him, but also just really missed your best friend.

Emotions that were once on a high finally settling down much like the ocean after a storm, Andrei quietly said your name before carefully placing a hand on your arm. "What's wrong? Please be honest, you're my best friend, and—"

There were those words again. 'Best friend'. The term Andrei had used to define your relationship since day one, the term that overtime you had grown to hate and even despise.

Your drunken self decided you were finally tired of hiding that fact.

"What if I don't want to be just your best friend?" And there it was. You all but shouted into the emptiness of your apartment as the emotions came bubbling over, exploding into a mess of volcanic ash as you watched the way Andrei's features twisted into one of guilt and sadness.

But not for him. For you. Because he didn't love you back. Seeing it reflected in his eyes hurt worse than you thought it would, to finally have what you knew deep down to be true confirmed.

But Andrei wasn't one to spill his guts out. Not even to you. Despite the bubbly feeling in his gut he normally got around you but now it was intensified, Andrei deflected. He deflected with anger. He didn't want to think about why he suddenly wanted to grab your face and make all of your pain go away.

"You're joking with me right now," He muttered, brows furrowed in disbelief. You were being honest, and he didn't like that he wanted to continue one bit.

"You'd think I'd lie about one of the biggest problems in my life? To your face? Especially when it's about you?" You hissed, the shattering of your heart before now nothing compared to what it felt like now.

You should have fucking known.

"You've lied about drinking, so, I don't know, you tell me… I confront you on avoiding my engagement and you tell me that, what? You're in love with me?"

Your eye twitched. And then the both of them filled with tears, but unlike at his party you couldn't stop them from spilling over your cheeks as your expression remained stony.

"I tell you I've loved you since the first fucking day I met you and you have the guts to say that I'm lying? I want attention?" You couldn't even find the energy to muster a scoff. Your energy was gone, and now you were just tired.

Tired of Andrei, tired of feelings in general.

You were done. For real this time.

"No." You cut off the beginnings of whatever words were in his mouth. "Get out." Perhaps your sober self would regret the decision to kick him out in the morning, but right now you needed him gone.

"What?" Suddenly Andrei's eyes were filled with panic, realizing too late that he had pushed you too far and that maybe now you were gone from his life for good.

He didn't want that. He had never wanted that.

"I said," You hissed, not even bothering to wipe away the tears as they dripped down your face in what felt like waves. "Get out. Now." Each word was punctuated by a weak shove of his chest until he was right at your open door.

Andrei owed you this. He knew he did, even if he didn't want to. Because as soon as your door closed you were gone. Gone from his life for who knows how long, and as his body filled with guilt and regret, anger and sadness, he couldn't help but try one last time to reach through to you, to try and undo the pain he caused you with just a few single words.

"Please," he choked out, no longer able to fight the regretful tears in his eyes as he realized he was losing you. "²Прости, мне очень жаль, let me try and fix this…"

"Andrei, please…" Your lip trembled, your apartment door that really only weighed pounds suddenly feeling like mountains. "Please go. I can't. I can't right now."

And finally, he relented. Andrei understood the words you said to him, remembering what seemed like years ago when he told you he couldn't talk about their loss after his leg injury.

You understood then. And Andrei owed it to you to understand now, as painful as it was for him to leave you all alone.

The door slammed shut in his face, and as Andrei stared with his own river of tears flowing down his cheeks, he realized you may have just permanently shut the door to your heart, too.

And by the time he realized this, it was already much too late.

~

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[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Sunkissed (pt. 1)

Pairing: Andrei Svechnikov/female!Reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: You’ve been in love with Andrei for as long as you can remember. When you first got hired to work in the Social Media Department and met some of the members of the team, just one look at the hockey star’s brilliant smile and you were in deep. Your heart truly broke though when he introduced his girlfriend after a game and you had to pretend you were happy for him. Now you had to watch as they became happily engaged, knowing you'd never be the light in Andrei's life like he was for you.

Warnings: Cursing, consumption of alcohol, angst, no happy ending

A/N: Literally, the idea to write this just completely popped into my head. No regrets tho. I hope you guys cry while reading this. No mercy. (I’m kidding 😭 or am I???)

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. This is not meant to be hate towards Andrei and Julia who are a very happy couple together, which therefore means I'm happy for them as well. This is merely a work of entertainment that in no way, shape, or form represents real life.

Translations:

¹Солнышко - Little sun

²Прости, мне очень жаль - I'm sorry, so sorry

You were a happy person. You always had been. Never really got mad, had never been all that sad before, and you got along with just about everyone you met.

How could you not, with your love for the world and your ability at seeing the best in people? Yet, there was only one person you really, truly struggled to get along with. And that person was Julia. The only one.

And who was Julia, exactly?

Andrei Svechnikov's, probably the only person you had ever had a crush on, girlfriend.

Really, there was nothing to hate about her, which made you feel even more guilty about your dislike of the girl. Nobody you knew had any ill-feelings towards her, and how could they? She was perfect in every which-way.

A tall, thin model with a stunning laugh and smile, a personality that drew everyone in until they were just as enraptured with her as Andrei was.

She had towered over you, only you, in expensive heels she wore the first night you met her, blonde hair perfectly styled as it fell to her back in waves. Her stunning, round blue eyes that crinkled ever-so-slightly as she laughed were no match against your ordinary looks you thought you had.

And you absolutely hated that about her, hated how she could look so effortlessly beautiful and how she was perfect for Andrei even if you felt bad about it.

You hated how Andrei's arm curled around her waist and how he pressed sweet kisses to her cheeks, you hated how you wished for nothing more than to be Julia in those moments, with a perfectly manicured hand intertwined with his own and able to say that the gorgeous, sweet man next to her was yours.

Julia wasn't mean to you, either. And that was the problem. She was so nice and friendly, easy to get along with and oblivious to the way you were in love with her boyfriend as Andrei introduced you to her.

God, you hated being in love with him. You hated how the innocent hugs and a brush of his hand on your waist made your heart flutter and how the random grins he would send you during interviews would make your palms sweat.

You hated how he just thought of you as his friend.

You hated as months and months continued to pass and Andrei was just as in love with her as when he met her, you hated how he began to come to you for advice on clothes to wear on a date with her or what he should get her for Valentine's day, and you hated how eventually he started showing you different pictures of engagement rings he wanted to propose to her with.

Luckily, after the first time he asked for advice on rings, after you had explained that you were quite under qualified to give advice considering you hadn't been in a serious relationship in years, Andrei backed off with a sheepish smile and put his phone away.

"Sorry," he had grinned, flashing you an apologetic smile before he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "You're the first person I wanted to ask, since you're my best friend and all, and you're also a girl, so…" Biting his lip, he had looked back up at you hoping you had understood his point.

You did. You understood, as much as it hurt you to do so.

"It's okay," You'd forgiven him immediately, because what else was there left to do? "Maybe ask one of the older guys, or one of their wives? They'd probably be able to give better advice," You offered quietly, voice coming off as a lot more meek than you wanted it to.

Andrei had been confused at your sudden change in tone, but he didn't show it except for a slight furrow in his brow. Because you were a good actress, always had been. But that never occurred in his mind as your expression changed so quickly he had no time to wonder why you had looked so sad, so it made forgetting the slight jump of concern in his gut easier to ignore.

Resting your chin on top of your folded hands, you watched as he thanked you before he rushed out of your office with a hasty wave, calling out to Jordan Martinook who had conveniently just passed your office.

He didn't talk to you about rings or engagement after that, but you still heard enough rumors to leave your heart aching.

You'd hear the whispers from the interns as you passed by a group of them in the hall, how they had seen Andrei at jewelry stores courtesy of paparazzi, how one of them overheard a conversation between Julia and another WAG about how she caught Andrei looking at rings on his phone.

This brings you to where you were today, at a restaurant venue you had frequented with Andrei and his teammates numerous times for the past several years, but this time you weren't alone.

Or, what was the saying? Surrounded by people yet still felt alone? That was you.

Standing in the corner, leaning against the table was you trying to hold it together as a swarm of people congratulated Andrei and Julia on their engagement, a shiny new ring on her finger she proudly displayed it for anyone who asked to look.

You hadn't yet gathered the courage to approach them and congratulate them yourself yet, and you knew you should have been the first to shout your happiness with Andrei being your best friend - even if you wanted to be so much more - but you just… Couldn't.

"Hey, you okay?" A voice abruptly shook you out of your thoughts, and when you jumped to face whoever spoke you came face-to-face with Sebastian looking at you with both concern and curiosity.

Smile. Fake it 'till you make it. They can't know. "Yeah, I'm great! Why, what's up?" You chirped, your lips immediately tilting upwards into a gentle, content, fake smile that you'd somehow mastered over the years.

You'd fooled everyone up until now, you'd even fooled Andrei, the subject of your misery— everyone up until Sebastian.

"Mhmm," the Finnish player hummed, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

The funny thing was, you and Sebastian weren't close. With your bubbly, happy-go-lucky personality compared to his need for space and quiet, the two of you had never clicked the way you and Andrei did. And yet, he had been the first one to notice the way you isolated yourself from the party, from your best friend, and really that should have been another sign all on its own.

Being no stranger towards hiding his emotions, he knew a person drowning in their feelings when he saw one.

Sebastian ran a finger across the rim of his drink thoughtfully, tilting his head as he met your eyes. "Nothing, really. It's just that you seem…" The hockey player watched you carefully, and when he saw the tenseness in your smile he knew he was hitting close to something. "I dunno. Withdrawn, quiet even. Which is new for you."

You laughed rather emptily, avoiding his eyes as you wondered how a guy you barely knew could see your pain better than the one who was causing it. "Just not feeling the partying mood, I guess." You murmured quietly, briefly lifting your head to meet his eyes.

"You aren't happy for them?" He asked carefully, gesturing towards the happy couple. Guessing, searching for the reason you were acting so opposite from your normal self.

"No!" You exclaimed, quickly lowering your voice when a few heads turned towards you at your raise of voice. "No, of course I am," You eventually admitted, if not a bit more hesitantly.

And you were happy for them. Or rather, you were happy for the elated grin on Andrei's face as he held Julia close to him, the way he seemed so happy and content with the decision to spend the right of his life with Julia.

He deserved to be happy. Deserved to find that perfect someone, even if you secretly wished it was you at his side rather than the pretty blonde next to him.

"But…?" Sebastian continued for you, following your conflicted gaze to Andrei who was currently laughing at something Julia said.

You winced, having to force yourself to turn away from the happy couple and face your friend. "But… It's just hard watching. Knowing he's moving on with his life and I'm still stuck in the same place as I was when I graduated college. Y'know?" It wasn't the complete truth, but it was partial. It was hard watching, but you also wished it was you he was moving forward in his life with.

Not her.

You couldn't tell if Sebastian bought it or not, as careful at disguising his emotions as he was, but luckily he seemed to let it go and just gave you a somber smile before turning his attention back to the celebration in the middle of the room.

"No, I don't know, actually. I never went to college." He joked wryly, glad to see the small chuckle he evoked from you.

"Funny," You drawled, copying his position and leaning back against the table behind you to watch the celebration.

Sebastian merely grinned, and the two of you fell into a comforting silence as you stayed away from the crowd, content to nurse your drinks and in your case, take comfort in the fact you had a friend during what you thought was one of the most painful things you've ever had to endure.

Unbeknownst to you, Andrei had seen the cracks in your façade, saw the way your expression twisted into one of dread the moment he announced his engagement, expecting to see elation and happiness but instead finding the complete opposite.

The curling in his gut became stronger. He didn't understand why he wanted to yank his arm away from his girlfriend- fiancé next to him and pull you away from the room, wanting to see anything else other than the unshed tears in your eyes.

Julia turned to look at him then, with sparkling blue eyes and a laugh so perfect as their friends and family surrounded them with their love, and the nauseating guilt he was feeling in his stomach was momentarily forgotten once more, the love he had for you far unmatched by the love he felt for Julia in that moment.

Or at least, the love he thought he had.

And Sebastian saw it all. He saw the way Andrei would become distracted by you in the stands during practice, how he'd stop mid-drill to wave up at you or pose dramatically for a picture to post on their social media.

He saw the way his friend had the post notifications turned on for each of the accounts you ran, how a grin would light up his face when he'd see the snarky comments written by none other than you.

He saw the way he fell so quickly into a relationship with Julia, but yet how you never left his thoughts until engagement started to become a thing.

Sebastian saw it all, and he thought both you and Andrei were idiots.

You pulled through it though, miraculously somehow, staying at your best friend's damned engagement party for what felt like hours.

Several, long, agonizing hours of avoiding Andrei's eyes that steadily became more concerned at your silence and how you'd disappear into the crowd the moment he tried approaching you.

That was when you made your escape.

You bid your goodbyes to Sebastian and a few of your coworkers, all fairly intoxicated which is why they gave no second-glance towards your wobbly smile when you claimed you had to run back to the arena to grab something you left in your office.

And, well, the excuse wasn't a lie, you did have to run back to the office for the schedule for next week, and with it being only eight o'clock (surprisingly) you knew your boss was still stuck at work, giving you the perfect opportunity to sneak away.

Even if you felt bad about it.

The arena was practically empty other than the few employees finishing up their day as you let yourself in, makeup fixed and a happy fake smile on your face as you greeted your boss in their office.

"Hey, are you busy?" you greeted, letting yourself in after your boss gave the okay to come in. Your boss’s eyes lit up in recognition once she saw you, and with a small smile she waved you in. “Nothing but paperwork and analytics,” She sighed, arching her back and scooting forward in her rolling chair to reach you better. “What can I do for you?”

Your boss, a strict, older woman with square-framed glasses with warm blue eyes that often gave the new interns shivers, but for those of you who had been working under her for longer knew she had a heart of gold and would never do anything to hurt another.

“I need the schedule for next week’s posts, and maybe the week after that if it’s ready?” You asked, adjusting your bag in your arms with a small smile when she exclaimed that she had forgotten all about giving you the actual, physical copy.

Rummaging through her filing cabinets, she pulled out a stack of folders before digging through for the correct one. “Oh! Before you retire for the night, do you think you could post a quick message on the official Twitter and Instagram?” She asked distractedly, pulling out the correct posting schedule with a triumphant hum.

Taking it from her hands and briefly flipping through it, you paid her request no mind, used to making last-minute posts without an editor. “Sure, what for?”

“You were just at Svechnikov’s engagement party, right?”

You froze, slowly looking up to find your boss’s back facing towards you as she organized her files back into place. Damn it, you should have known.

“Yes,” You practically choked, swallowing harshly to keep the tears at bay that had just sprung up at the unintentional mention of the complete and utter heartbreak you felt.

None the wiser to your emotional state, she continued as she sank back into her chair. “I need you to make a post, tweet, whatever twitter calls it, congratulating them on he and Julia’s engagement, saying congratulations, wishing them the best… A typical celebration post, yeah? I think you’ve one before already,”

For the first time since taking this job, you wished you were working anywhere else. Despite just being a face behind the screen of the accounts, those of you at the arena knew you ran the accounts, Andrei knew, and having to pretend you were happy for him after just avoiding him at his party was a shit storm waiting to happen.

“Yeah, I have,” You managed to choke out, holding yourself together for the sake of your job and your dignity. Mental breakdowns at work were the last thing anyone wanted to happen. “Is that all?”

Your boss thankfully didn’t spare you a glance at your short responses, slowly becoming immersed in her own work now that her job with you was done. “Yeah, that’s all. Have a good night!”

All but practically rushing out of her office, you had just pushed the button for the elevator when the familiar voice of your boss was calling out your name.

She smiled from her doorway. Albeit, a short, somber smile, but it was enough that it had you returning the sentiment if not a bit confusedly. “Open a bottle of wine tonight, you look like you need it.” And then she was closing her office door, leaving you standing by the open elevator doors with a smile stuck between feeling amused and absolutely shattered.

And open a bottle of wine you did. Multiple, actually, despite the fact that you were a lightweight and barely drank enough to get beyond tipsy.

You at least had the forethought to get those heart wrenching posts out of the way first. Heart wrenching to you and to you only, a teary smile on your face as you pressed ‘Tweet’ on Twitter.

And it was instantaneous, the flood of likes, comments, both positive and negative. Normally the words of the snarky fans never bothered you, used to the rodeo that came with managing famous social medias, and if you were bothered it was because of the fans attacking the social media manager for the decisions made by the team you had no control of.

It was those types of comments that should be bothering you right now, if they were to upset you at all. Not the congratulatory ones, not the ones saying how happy they were for Andrei and Julia, how they made such a beautiful couple and deserved each other.

You shut your phone off the moment the notification popped up that Andrei liked the post.

Fuck it. If you were going to self-wallow, you were going to do it in comfy pajamas and with no makeup running down your face.

Eager (almost too eager) to break into a bottle of wine, you changed out of your work clothes and went away with your makeup, changing into a pair of sweats and an old hoodie you’d stolen from Andrei before he started dating Julia.

And gave all of his hoodies to her instead.

God, you felt petty. And shitty. Just a bad friend overall. What person wasn't happy for their best friend finding their other half? What person avoided them at their own engagement party and refused to meet their eyes?

One who was irrevocably in love with their friend, you figured.

You started slowly at first, taking pitying sips of the white wine straight from the bottle, not having the energy to go find a glass and pretend you were having a normal night of reflective drinking.

This was anything but. The hole in your chest that felt like a thousand bullets had pierced it all at once with no mercy hadn't gone away once, the way your heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces playing over and over again like you'd play your favorite song. It was agonizing, it was screaming into a black void knowing nobody could hear you, it was knowing that Andrei would never love you back.

It was knowing that they were probably at home, in their shared bed, whispering into the intimate silence of night with gentle caresses as you stared at your ceiling with the feeling of wanting to cry.

So cry you did. You cried until your throat was raw, cried until your eyes were spilling tears so heavy it looked like the tracks they left were mascara trails. You cried until you couldn't even take another sip of the mind-numbing alcohol because the choking on your hiccups was too strong.

Was this what being in love with someone felt like? Or just being in love with someone who didn't want you back?

Never again. Not if you could help it.

Your ears were ringing with the sound of your sobs, hair a tangled mess as the pounding in your head became steadily stronger until it was distinguishing itself as repetitive knocks coming from your door.

Maybe you were just going insane. Or getting drunk. Maybe your mind was trying to manifest a fantasy of Andrei magically realizing his love for you and abandoning Julia in their home, running to your apartment to confess his love for you.

Yeah, you were definitely drunk alright.

A muffled call of your name from behind the door made you pause in your thoughts, and you hesitantly set the wine bottle down as the voice became unfortunately clearer.

"Are you home?"

A brief pause.

"Nevermind, I know you're in there. Your lights are on."

More silence. Determination from him, stunned from you.

"Open up? Please? ¹Солнышко?"

Solnishko. Little sun. The nickname he had given you just a few days after you first met. He said you reminded him of the sun back home in Russia; strong, warm, and bright, and brings happiness to whoever looks at it, hence the sun.

And 'little' because you were short, according to him.

Everyone was fucking short to him. He was 6 foot and two goddamn inches.

…

So apparently you were an angry drunk, too.

Back then, you loved the nickname. It gave you butterflies, knowing he only gave the people he truly held close to him nicknames in his native tongue, and even more so because you represented something important from his home.

The mistake Andrei made was taking the neverending light and happiness you brought him for granted, not realizing that much like the sun your fiery glow would eventually come to an explosive end.

The insistent knocking quickly came to sound like nails against a chalkboard, and already caught up in your feelings of pity and anger you stomped over to your door and swung it open, your red eyes and scratchy voice on full display without a second thought.

"What?" You all but snarled, eyes narrowed and tone wobbly as you finally addressed him for the first time that night.

Andrei, as clueless as he was to some things, wasn't oblivious to pain. He knew you had your problems, had ranted to him numerous times over them before, but never had you cried over them, never had you looked so broken and out of place as you did standing right there in front of him.

"Are you crying?" He asked so quietly with those damned eyes of his already starting to pull you in, the concern in his voice making you want to forget he was an almost-married man and just fall into his arms.

Andrei tried taking a step forward, used to being automatically invited into your apartment, but this time you crossed your arms with a sniffle and he had to try hard to figure out why the hurt in his chest felt more like somebody was stabbing him at your rejection.

"No, I don't cry." You almost grumbled, immediately bringing the sleeve of your his hoodie to try and rid your cheeks of the tear stains that were on prominent display.

Andrei opened his mouth to reply, wondering how he ended up in such uncharted territory with you in a matter of seconds. He'd never seen you this defensive, this closed off, but once his eyes strayed past your form and saw the half-empty bottle of alcohol on your ottoman did at least some of your outlandish behavior make sense.

The Russian narrowed his eyes, leaning in closer towards your uneasy form and observing your dilated pupils and the antsy twitching of your fingers.

"Since when were you a night drinker? Or actually, since when did you drink at all?" He accused, confused and even a bit hurt by this side of you he had never seen before.

"I always drink. I just don't tell you because it's never been brought up. I don't tell you everything, you know." Your attempt at having a firm, steady voice was ruined by the slight hiccup in your words, but the dig you were trying to make at Andrei, perhaps a little unfairly, did the work, but you weren't as satisfied by the hurt expression on his face as you thought you'd be.

Now Andrei was confused. Even if the small voice in his head was telling him why you were acting like this, being so… Restrained with him, and perhaps this voice also had something to do with the constant feeling of guilt and regret bubbling in his gut.

"Clearly," he mumbled to himself, hesitantly following you into your apartment after you scoffed and without another look marched back into the room and grabbed your bottle of wine previously left abandoned.

"What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be with your family celebrating, or with Julia herself…" His fiancé's name sat heavy on your tongue, the grimace you wanted to let out at the thought of being married only just barely contained.

"Since your version of congratulations was a Twitter post and you never even spoke a word to me at my engagement party, I figured checking up on you after you left upset was something that needed to be done." His words were slow and punctuated, but most of all they sounded hurt, hurt that you weren't there on what he thought was seemingly the happiest day of his life.

Or maybe you were there, but your presence wasn't filling the room like he was used to.

And god, how you felt guilty at the thought of hurting him. You wished you could have held it together to congratulate him for forming his happily ever after with Julia. You wanted more than nothing to pretend everything was fine.

But the liquid courage was doing its job of drowning out that guilt, replacing it with defensiveness and anger at the fact that you loved him and he was too goddamn blind to see it.

Why couldn't he see it? Why couldn't he see the way your smile brightened when he entered the room? Why couldn't he see the way his touch evoked shivers from you, or the way his Russian accent would make your cheeks blush red?

Why didn't he love you back?

"I… had things going on." You weakly defended, and the way you avoided his eyes cemented the fact that you were hiding something from him, and nothing hurt Andrei more than to be left out, especially out of something that was clearly reaping havoc on your mind.

"You had things going on," he repeated, absolutely baffled and hurt at the way you were shutting him out. "And did those things happen to be getting drunk with Sebastian all night?"

Okay, fine. Andrei was jealous. But not because of what you might be thinking. He loved you, but he loved Julia more - right? - and that's what he thought to be true. Seeing you standing with his friend instead of him was just the added salt to a wound he didn't know existed yet.

Your heart thumped. It thumped the same exact way you thought Andrei might be returning your feelings until he waved it away with some friendly saying, and that wasn't something you wanted to be feeling right now.

Especially when he didn't mean it in the way you hoped he did.

Or did he?

"That's rich," You snorted almost thoughtfully, taking another swig of the wine bottle and relishing in the way it burned down your throat. "So you can be with Julia all night but I can't be with Sepe?"

"Are you serious right now?" Andrei gaped, completely and utterly in disbelief at how you were acting. Drunk you wasn't something he thought he ever wanted to experience again. "It was my engagement party, sorry if I'm a little upset my best friend didn't even congratulate me." He almost hissed, eyes narrowed and shoulders tense.

"Don't go changing the topic," You hissed, reaching forward to shove a finger into his chest. "You can have Julia next to your side but I can't hang around Sebastian?"

"That is not what I meant and you know it."

"No, actually, I don't think I do."

"Jesus christ-" Andrei threw his hands up, shooting up in frustration to run a hand through his hair. "Is there something you want to tell me? Because I want to be on the same page, but it's hard when you won't even look me in the eye."

For the first time since he entered your apartment, you quieted, his words awakening the part of you that was hurt, still fucking in love with him, but also just really missed your best friend.

Emotions that were once on a high finally settling down much like the ocean after a storm, Andrei quietly said your name before carefully placing a hand on your arm. "What's wrong? Please be honest, you're my best friend, and—"

There were those words again. 'Best friend'. The term Andrei had used to define your relationship since day one, the term that overtime you had grown to hate and even despise.

Your drunken self decided you were finally tired of hiding that fact.

"What if I don't want to be just your best friend?" And there it was. You all but shouted into the emptiness of your apartment as the emotions came bubbling over, exploding into a mess of volcanic ash as you watched the way Andrei's features twisted into one of guilt and sadness.

But not for him. For you. Because he didn't love you back. Seeing it reflected in his eyes hurt worse than you thought it would, to finally have what you knew deep down to be true confirmed.

But Andrei wasn't one to spill his guts out. Not even to you. Despite the bubbly feeling in his gut he normally got around you but now it was intensified, Andrei deflected. He deflected with anger. He didn't want to think about why he suddenly wanted to grab your face and make all of your pain go away.

"You're joking with me right now," He muttered, brows furrowed in disbelief. You were being honest, and he didn't like that he wanted to continue one bit.

"You'd think I'd lie about one of the biggest problems in my life? To your face? Especially when it's about you?" You hissed, the shattering of your heart before now nothing compared to what it felt like now.

You should have fucking known.

"You've lied about drinking, so, I don't know, you tell me… I confront you on avoiding my engagement and you tell me that, what? You're in love with me?"

Your eye twitched. And then the both of them filled with tears, but unlike at his party you couldn't stop them from spilling over your cheeks as your expression remained stony.

"I tell you I've loved you since the first fucking day I met you and you have the guts to say that I'm lying? I want attention?" You couldn't even find the energy to muster a scoff. Your energy was gone, and now you were just tired.

Tired of Andrei, tired of feelings in general.

You were done. For real this time.

"No." You cut off the beginnings of whatever words were in his mouth. "Get out." Perhaps your sober self would regret the decision to kick him out in the morning, but right now you needed him gone.

"What?" Suddenly Andrei's eyes were filled with panic, realizing too late that he had pushed you too far and that maybe now you were gone from his life for good.

He didn't want that. He had never wanted that.

"I said," You hissed, not even bothering to wipe away the tears as they dripped down your face in what felt like waves. "Get out. Now." Each word was punctuated by a weak shove of his chest until he was right at your open door.

Andrei owed you this. He knew he did, even if he didn't want to. Because as soon as your door closed you were gone. Gone from his life for who knows how long, and as his body filled with guilt and regret, anger and sadness, he couldn't help but try one last time to reach through to you, to try and undo the pain he caused you with just a few single words.

"Please," he choked out, no longer able to fight the regretful tears in his eyes as he realized he was losing you. "²Прости, мне очень жаль, let me try and fix this…"

"Andrei, please…" Your lip trembled, your apartment door that really only weighed pounds suddenly feeling like mountains. "Please go. I can't. I can't right now."

And finally, he relented. Andrei understood the words you said to him, remembering what seemed like years ago when he told you he couldn't talk about their loss after his leg injury.

You understood then. And Andrei owed it to you to understand now, as painful as it was for him to leave you all alone.

The door slammed shut in his face, and as Andrei stared with his own river of tears flowing down his cheeks, he realized you may have just permanently shut the door to your heart, too.

And by the time he realized this, it was already much too late.

~

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[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Sturdy || Joe x Reader (NSFW)

You had a thing for Joe’s lap.

word count: 3,221

warnings: uhhhh blowjob, #joey loveseat, dom/sub dynamics, daddy name-calling, slight mind-break?

author’s note: I HAVEN’T WRITTEN SMUT IN LIKE years, so please bare with me. i just needed to get this out of my system. i technically have a sequel in mind, so please do let me know if y’all want more! 

the gifset that started it all.. (x)

enjoy under the cut!

Keep reading

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Concept: every time I give Joe a blowjob you put your hair in a ponytail and now every time he sees you in a ponytail he gets automatically hard.

It had all started off rather innocently. You were just sitting at your dining room table trying to get some work done, while Joe was sitting on the couch a few feet away, watching some cartoons on the tv. A regular evening relaxing after a hard day at work for him and trying to finish up the work you procrastinated doing during the day for you. 

Usually you wore your hair down, not really liking the way your hair felt tied up but at this moment everything was hanging in your face making it harder for you to work. Knowing you probably had some hair ties laying around somewhere you quickly got up and searched for the next best thing, emerging from your bedroom a few moments later with a scrunchie, tying your hair up in a ponytail as you walked past Joe, back to the table to get your work done.

“Babyyyyyy,” came a groan from Joe. “You can’t just do that.” 

When you looked over to him his head was thrown back against the headrest of the couch, a slight dent visible in his gray sweatpants. Not that you were complaining about your hot boyfriend being horny but you were slightly confused as to why. “What?” 

“You don’t even realize what you do to me, do you?” Joe ran his hand through his hair in an exaggerated way. “Your hair is tied up.” He said as if that explained the way he was acting. 

“I know. And?”

“You never wear your hair up.”

“I know. And?” You repeated.

Joe sighed loudly. “You don’t like having it tied up, you only ever put your hair up when you’re giving me head, and obviously he,” Joe gestured towards his covered erection, “knows that too.”

He sounded so defeated, almost like his dick had betrayed him, that you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“And now you’re laughing at me. Great.” He pouted a bit. Joe pouting was always your biggest weakness. It shouldn’t be so cute to see a grown man pout but every time he did you couldn’t help but give in to anything he wanted.

You stood up from your makeshift little workplace and made your way over to him on the couch. “Aww don’t pout, baby. I think it’s cute.” You swiftly plucked one of the couch cushions down to the floor and kneeled down between his legs. “Want me to take care of it?”

“Please?” He asked you, reaching out and gently cupping your head. Not pulling you closer, just gently holding you.

You turn your face a bit, pressing a kiss to his palm before moving closer. You lightly nudge his clothed dick with your nose before pressing a little kiss to the tip of the bulge. 

Joe just lets out a low groan. The muscles in his thighs tense at your actions, and you want nothing more than to get him out of his sweatpants and into your mouth. You gently pull at the waistband of his sweats, signaling that you want them gone, and he shuffles around trying to free himself.

“No underwear?” You teasingly ask him, while pulling the sweatpants further down his strong legs to his ankles. This way you could push his knees further apart and get comfortable between them. 

He laughed, settling back on the couch. “I’m allowed to not wear underwear in my own house, baby.” His arousal was obvious in his voice.

You ran your fingers up his thighs, enjoying the way he got goosebumps from your touch. “I’m not complaining. Easier access for me.”

Joe has always been vocal in bed, which was something you loved about him. Besides it being fun to know you’re the one making him feel that way, it was also nice to get some feedback. The way he moaned when you slowly stroked his dick, teasing him just a little bit more, made you feel powerful. 

You didn’t even have to try and be fancy. The smallest actions made him react so intensely and you loved it. You kissed you way from his inner thigh up to the tip of his dick. It was more for show than anything else but the way he threw his head back, his strong hands finding their way into your hair, let you know he appreciated it just the same. He didn’t your push head down, just gently holding it as you took him into your mouth. 

In the end it didn’t take too long. You could have drawn it out longer, pulled off and teased him a while longer, trying to make him last, but in the end you really wanted to see him come apart under you. His thighs tensed up and you could feel his breath hitch. 

“Baby i’m...” He started but you already knew, swallowing down around him as he came.

It took a bit for him to regain his composure, but when he did he leaned forward and snatched his waterbottle from the living room table behind you. “Here.” He held it out for you. “And uhh thank you.” He added shyly. His face was red and he was a bit out of breath, looking like he just finished a full on workout even though he never left the couch. It was kind of adorable how winded you got him, just another reminder what you could do to him.

You quietly accepted the bottle, taking a few sips of water before standing up, patting his still naked thigh. “Good game, bud.” 

Joe pulled you in for a kiss and obviously you happily obliged, feeling him smile against your lips. “Want me to return the favor?” He asked smiling. 

Groaning you pulled away. “Not right now i need to finish up my work. But you can get me back tonight?” 

Joe pulled you closer again for another small kiss. “Of course.” 

When you made your way over back to the dining room table you couldn’t help but grin to yourself. You’d have to remember that for later.

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Just Friends

Word Count: 3.2k

summary: your friendship with Mat takes a turn when you learn something you wished you'd known much earlier.

Your friendship with Mat was interesting, to say the least. You were shy and soft-spoken, he was loud and outgoing. You were high strung while he was laid back. It shouldn't have worked, but it did. He was your best friend and you were one of his.

Since meeting Mat, hockey had become one of your favorite things. You went to every home game, watched every away game on TV, and when the Islanders weren’t playing, you watched other teams (only when Mat wasn’t around, though). You had acquired quite the collection of jerseys throughout the last couple of months. You had a couple different ones with Mat’s name on them, and even a couple with other players’ names on them. This irked Mat, though. You were his friend, you should be wearing his jersey.

You’d had this argument with Mat before, about the jerseys, and each time it had ended with you giving in and changing into one of his jerseys. You weren’t giving in this time, though. For the last couple of weeks, Mat had been spending most of his free time with a new girl. In doing so, he’d kind of slacked off in spending time with you. It wasn’t a new occurrence, but that didn’t make it any less annoying. Any time Mat started dating someone new, he scaled back the time he spent with you.

Because of this, you’d been spending a lot of time with Mat’s friend, Tito. You’d met Tito a few weeks into knowing Mat and the two of you became fast friends, immediately finding some common ground, something you and Mat had struggled to do at first. He would never admit it, but Mat was a tad bit possessive over you when it came to Tito.

Which is why you knew wearing Tito’s jersey to tonight’s game wasn’t your smartest idea. Mat had texted you earlier that day, reminding you that you were meeting his new girl and that he was so excited to see ‘his girls’ wearing his jersey. You knew Mat meant it lovingly, but being called one of ‘his girls’ was not something you liked. It was something that you had been called a few times, cringing every time you heard those words.

The girl that Mat was dating, though, had texted you not long after Mat had, asking if Mat had left a jersey for her with you. You had no idea that he was going to do that and had not in fact done that. You let her know so but told her not to worry, that she could wear one of your jerseys with his number on it. You had another jersey with Mat’s name on it but you had just worn it to the last home game and hadn’t washed it, yet, hence why you are wearing Tito's jersey to the game tonight.

You arrived at the arena just as the Islanders take the ice for warm-ups. You see Mat's new girl sitting just where she'd said, waiting for you. You walk up and introduce yourself, giving her your most welcoming smile. You never purposefully tried to scare off any of the girl's Mat dated, but they all seemed to have an issue with you being his friend.

After introducing yourself and getting her name, Jenna, you offer her the jersey. She slips it on over the black thermal she has on, her coat laid on the back of her seat. You sit down beside her as the stands fill up and the two of you make small talk. You point out Mat and Tito and she asks a few questions about the game. You explain as best you can, smiling softly at her. She's sweet and you can see why Mat likes her.

You look up just as Tito stops abruptly in front of the wall, spraying ice from his skates. He waves at the two of you, grinning. You wave back, a soft flush adorning your cheeks. You have been reluctant to admit it, but you sort of have a crush on the Canadian boy.

Mat skates up just a few seconds behind him, shooting you a glare, brows furrowed. You smile and wave at him, as does Jenna. He grins at Jenna, waving back. He looks at you one last time before skating off, eyebrows raised as if to say "really? you wore his jersey?"

"Why was he glaring at you?" Jenna asks and you sigh, folding your hands on your lip.

"He's weird about me wearing Beau's jersey, or anyone else's for that matter." You say and Jenna shoots you a confused look.

"Why does he care so much, it's not like you guys are dating." She says and you chuckle, nodding.

"That's what I said. I don't know why he cares." You shrug, smiling softly at her.

"Do you like Anthony?" She asks, eyebrows raised. You hesitate and her eyes widen. "You do! You have to tell him. Anthony, I mean. He totally has a crush on you too!" She says, but you brush her off.

"I don't want to screw up any relationship I have with either boy so I don't think so." You shrug and her excitement dies down a bit. "I would appreciate if we could keep this to ourselves." She nods, smiling gently at you.

The game does not go as well as hoped, the team losing by one point on home ice. Everyone is somber as they exit the arena. You and Jenna walk quietly down to where the significant other's and families wait for the team. You try to excuse yourself after helping Jenna find her way, but she grabs your arm as you turn to leave, eyes pleading with you to stay. You sigh and stay with her, introducing her to some of the wives and girlfriends of players.

Some of the women ask why you're wearing Tito's jersey when you always wear Mat's, but you shrug them off with an excuse about laundry day. Their eyebrows raise, but they accept the answer, knowing smiles on their faces. You don't have to wait too long before the team comes shuffling out of the locker room. There's no chorus of screaming, no cacophonous yelling, just the sound of applause filling the space. The guys break apart, each heading to their respective person. Tito makes his way to you, a soft smile on his face.

"You were great tonight. I'm so proud of you." You tell him, knowing how hard the guys are on themselves. He throws an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in for a hug. You squeeze him gently, smiling as the two of you break apart.

"Y/n, what the hell?" Mat's voice brings you back to reality and you turn to face him, smiling.

"Don't be mad, Mat. I haven't washed my other jersey and Jenna told me that you said you'd make sure I had one for her." You explain and he rubs the back of his neck.

"I forgot to tell you that." He says, and you nod. "You could've worn the plain jersey you wore before we were friends."

You barely hear the last part, just something mumbled under his breath. When the words register in your brain, though, you reach out to smack his chest. "Now why would I do that when I have this perfectly good jersey?"

Beau steps up behind you, smirking. "Besides, I kind of liked seeing her wearing my name for a change."

Your eyes widen slightly and Jenna smirks at you, nodding. Surely, he doesn't mean it that way, he's just being friendly. It doesn't feel so friendly when he slips his arm around your waist, his warm hand resting on your hip.

"Because.." Mat starts, his voice trailing off when he sees Tito's hand on your hip. "Get your hand off of her. Now, Anthony."

You're taken aback at Mat's behavior, you'd never heard him call his best friend by his full name, nor had you ever seen him acting like this. You step forward, putting yourself between both boys. Jenna stands off to the side, eyes wide.

"We all need to step away and calm down. Mat, go with Jenna. Get some rest, get some food. I'll call you tomorrow." You stare down Mat until he calms down, taking Jenna's hand and brushing past you and Tito.

"You hungry?" Tito asks, placing his hand on the small of your back, fingertips barely brushing the jersey. You nod, taking a deep breath. The walk out of the arena is quiet and you use this time to really think about how you feel about the boy walking beside you.

It doesn't feel like your normal crushes, there are no butterflies, no what-ifs plaguing your brain. When you're with Beau he brings this peace to you, he quiets all of your anxieties and makes you feel less high-strung, all without saying a word.

"Hey, you okay? You're awfully quiet." Beau's voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you smile over at him, nodding.

"I'm okay. Just thinking." You respond, tucking your hands in your pockets.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He asks, and you chuckle. He can't help but smile at your soft laugh, glancing down at the ground before looking back at you.

"It's nothing, really." You shrug, going to pull your keys out of your pocket as you approach your car. "Did you drive today?"

He shakes his head and you unlock your car, gesturing for him to get in. He tosses his bag in the backseat before climbing in. You're already in the driver's seat, door shut when he gets in. You glance over and burst out laughing. His legs are much too long for how far up the seat is. He slowly moves the seat back, staring you down the entire time. You have not stopped laughing, tears prickling your eyes as you cackle.

"You good over there?" He asks, as you finally begin to calm down. His question sends you into a fit of giggles and he chuckles. Your laughing finally dies down and you wipe the tears from your eyes. "I'm glad you found that so entertaining."

"I really did. Don't get me started, again, though." You warn, turning the key in the ignition. "Where are we going, Beau?"

"Just drive, I'll give you directions." He says. You furrow your brows in confusion, but obey, putting the car in drive and following his directions.

You play some soft music during the car ride, though neither of you actually hears it. A couple of minutes into the drive you glance over at him, eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"Do you know what got into Mat tonight?" You ask, noting how he shifts in the passenger seat.

"Uh, no, I don't. Why?" He asks and you furrow your brows, eyes focused on the road.

"Beau, is there something you're not telling me?" You ask, prompting a sigh from the boy.

"I can't tell you what's going on with Mat, but I can tell you that I like you, a lot." He reaches over to take the hand that had dropped into your lap during the drive and you let him.

"I like you too, Beau." You say, a soft smile forming on your face. He grins, bringing your hand up to place a gentle kiss on the back of it.

Dinner goes great that night, full of laughs and smiles and Beau being the kindest gentleman he can be. He walks you up to your apartment, gives you a soft kiss goodnight and is turning around to leave when he spots Mat stepping off the elevator. He looks back at you, eyes wide.

"What are you doing here?" Mat asks Beau and you pinch the bridge of your nose, too tired to deal with this.

"Just dropping Y/n off. I'm leaving now." Beau says, putting his hands up in surrender. Neither boy says anything as they pass each other, both staring at the other. It's the weirdest display of dominance you have ever seen and it only exacerbates your annoyance.

"What are you doing here, Mat? Shouldn't you be with Jenna?" You ask, turning to unlock your door and step inside. You leave it open for Mat and he quickly makes his way inside, shutting it for you.

"She has to get up early in the morning and I didn't want to go to sleep yet." He says, rubbing the back of his neck as he watches you. You're getting yourself a bottle of water from your kitchen, offering one to him. He shakes his head and you shrug, opening yours and taking a drink.

"Why is it such a big deal if I wear Tito's jersey?" You ask, getting right to the point.

Mat sighs, looking down at the ground. He bounces on the balls of his feet, trying to figure what to say. You cross your arms over your chest, still wearing Tito's jersey from the game, watching him.

"You're my good luck charm, my best friend. Not his. Mine." You let out a dry chuckle at his response, shaking your head.

"You don't own me, Mat. Besides, Tito and I are friends. We've been hanging out the last couple of weeks while you've been with Jenna." You tell him, he blinks as he registers this information, confusion written across his face.

"Are you jealous?" He asks and you roll your eyes. You walk away from him, heading for your bedroom. He follows you, though, continuing to dig a hole deep enough to bury himself in. "You're jealous that I've got a girlfriend and can't spend my time watching stupid shows on Netflix with you so ran off to Tito trying to make me jealous."

You scoff, pulling the jersey over your head. You've got a long sleeve shirt on underneath it, thankfully. You had bundled up for the game since it was so cold outside. You strip off your jeans as well, leaving you in legging and your undershirt.

"What is your problem, Mat?!"

"YOU ARE MY PROBLEM!" You freeze, hands dropping to your sides. Mat's never yelled at you before, hell he's barely ever raised his voice at you in the past. Now he's loud, red in the face as he continues. "I am so in love with you it's not even funny. I told myself that I would be fine whenever you met someone, but Tito? My best fucking friend? I'm not fine with that."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Your voice is so soft in comparison to his, your eyes glued to the ground as he stares at you, burning a hole in the top of your head.

"Because I knew you didn't feel the same way." His voice is softer now, taking on a defeated tone. He sighs, running a hand through his dark curls.

"No, Mat, you didn't know that. You just assumed that." You say, finally lifting your head to look at him. His eyes go wide at the realization and he takes a step towards you, but you take a step back. "It's too late now, though. I think you should go."

"Y/n, wait -"

"No, you need to leave, Mat. You can't just come in here and yell at me and tell me you fucking love me when you sure as shit knew that I was hopelessly in love with you two years ago. I heard you talking to Beau at the New Year's party at Megan and Josh's."

Mat's face falls at your words, though you keep pushing him towards the front door of your apartment. He's a big dude, though, and you don't make much headway. You stop trying to push him and just stand there, eyes focused on him.

"I-I didn't know you heard that." He runs a hand through his hair again and you nod.

"Yeah, I heard Beau telling you that I followed you around like a puppy dog because I was in love with you. You laughed and proceeded to tell him that you would never feel the same about me. That's when Beau asked if he could go for it and you gave him permission." He nods and you fold your arms over your chest again. You'd never told either one of them that you knew what they'd said.

"That's why you weren't around as much, isn't it?" His voice is barely a whisper now and he looks over at you with the saddest eyes.

"Yeah. I started going out and making more friends, I started working out, I found a way to keep myself busy so that I wouldn't go running back to you the second you called. And when my feelings were gone, I came back. I reintegrated myself into your world, on my terms." He sighs, moving to sit on the barstool closest to him.

"God, Y/n, I'm so sorry. I screwed up so bad." You don't respond, still standing with your arms folded over your chest. "Please, forgive me."

"When did you realize you had feelings for me?" You shouldn't have asked, you don't want to know, don't want to go down this road.

Mat gulps, turning to face you. "Last fall. We weren't spending time together so I went home for a bit during the summertime, when I came back to New York and you came back into my life, I realized just how sucky it was to not have you by my side for all of those months."

"I think you should leave, Mat." Your fists are clenched down by your sides as you walk to the front door of your apartment. You open it, staring at him.

He nods, getting up from the barstool and making his way towards the door. He pauses in front of you, leaning down to give you a soft kiss on your cheek. "I'm so sorry."

You walk away from him, waiting for the door to shut behind him before you sink to the floor, sobs racking your body. You fumble for your phone, fishing it out of the pocket in your leggings. You scroll to find the contact you're looking for and press the call button.

Click. "Y/n? Are you okay?"

"Will you come over?" You sniffle, wiping the tears from your cheeks.

"Of course. I'll be there soon." You hang up the phone, dropping it beside you. You sit there, frozen, until you hear your apartment door opening. You look over, sighing when you see him.

"Beau." He sees you, dropping down beside you as he pulls you into his chest.

"He told you, didn't he?" You nod against Beau's chest, sniffling. "C'mon, let's get you to bed." You let him help you up and lead you into your bedroom. You immediately go to lay down, ignoring his suggestion to get into something more comfortable.

You pat the bed beside you, eyes closed as you wait to feel the mattress dip. It doesn't take him long to decide and then he's climbing into your bed, pulling you into his chest. He presses a soft kiss to the top of your head as you sniffle.

The silence envelops the two of you as you just lay there. He listens to your breathing evening out, hears the soft noises you make as you sleep, takes in the moonlight coming through the cracks of your blinds and illuminating your features. He holds you until he falls asleep.

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

oh I got sinning on my mind tonight girl. like Tito seems to give off a gentle quiet energy off ice, and i like to poke bears shall we say. love imagining poking him a little too far pushing the teasing to where he just says 'that's it, imma make you pay for that,' and just goes full feral, bites leaving bruises, making sure he's knows whose i am, and getting me to a squirming wriggling mess.

A/N: poking bears is fun 😈 also thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this ask hjfsda I think I just unlocked something in me lmao.. also this starts out a little slower, but he goes feral in the end I promise warnings: sex in an unspecified public bathroom lmao, no condom words: 700ish tagging: @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 @princessphilly because I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it 😳

You were all talk - no action, but you were pushing his buttons in a way that only you could.

"I bet he wouldn't leave me wet and wanting more - wouldn't need to beg him"

"Oh please, you love it when I make you beg"

"It's getting a bit boring to be honest"

You're being pulled to the nearest bathroom before you know it, he pushes you against the door to close it - hand holding your throat firmly. "Wanna say that again, my love?"

You gulp, knowing you'd accomplished just what you'd been trying to. "I'm bored of begging for you" you repeat, less sure of your words this time, trying your best to hide it. He sees right trough you, the mean smirk on his face makes you clench your thighs together.

"Let's put that theory to the test, yeah?"

"If you think I'm going to beg you for anything, you're wrong"

"baby, you already are" his finger travels up your leg slowly, pushing your panties to the side, sliding through your soaked folds. "I know you, exactly what you need, and this little game you're playing is one way for you to beg me to give it to you"

You gasp as he flicks your clit, whimpering out when that's all the attention he gives it before he sucks his finger into his mouth. He gets down on his knees, lifting one leg onto his shoulder, kissing the inside of your thigh.

"What do you need?" he asks, the words caress your skin as he speaks them.

"Thought you already knew" you push, almost regretting it when he tuts.

"Oh I know, but you know how this works," he kisses your skin again, closer to where you need him this time. You can feel his breath on your core as he looks up at you. "Be a good girl for me, yeah?"

You're throbbing for him, clenching around nothing, he wets his lips with his tongue and you can't help but plead - "please"

"Please what?" he arches a brow

"Please fuck me like I deserve to be fucked"

He stands up at that, undoing the button on his jeans with one hand, the zipper next. His other hand grips your hair, "the way you deserve, huh?". You do your best to nod despite the grip he has on you. He hooks your leg around his waist and he sinks into without warning making you yelp. He snaps his hips into you again and again, pulling your head backward by your hair to nip at your neck.

Your hand tries to force it's way between your legs, your clit needy for attention. Anthony is quick to react, pinning your hand to the wall. "No, you don't deserve to cum yet" he uses your words against you.

"Please," it's a little embarrasing, really, how desperate you sound. He spanks your clit, making you jolt against him.

"You can do better than that"

His pace is relentless, the noise of his skin snapping against your fills the room. It's getting you right on the edge, but he knows you need more. He knows you need him to give your clit some attention. He also knows you'll have a hard time finding your words right now. He slaps the skin where your ass meets your thigh, hoping the sting will clear your head. He sees it in your eyes when you meet his gaze but he gives you a couple more slaps for good mesure.

"Please make me cum"

"Do you deserve to cum, baby?"

You nod desperately, "yes, please, I'm so sorry, I love it when you make me beg"

"Good girl" he murmurs, his thumb finally coming down to play with your clit. Your eyes roll into the back of your head in no time, as you flutter around him. Your body shakes against him as your orgasm runs through your body. His lips find yours as his pace stutters, leaving a deep moan against you as he spills into you. His forehead leans against yours as you both catch your breaths.

"Stop being such a brat" he laughs.

"Oh please, you love it when I'm a brat" you throw his words from earlier back at him, running your hands through his now damp hair.

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

UGH, sis! PLD absolutely exudes "railing you in your sundress at a picnic" energy. In fact, I would go as far as to say that PLD has such strong "fucking you in public" vibes that I cannot imagine he wouldn't be into that. The exhibitionist energy is immaculate 🎆

I- 😃 my mind is running wild w scenarios right now 😃

YES, he gives me this vibe too!!!!! Like pushing your panties to the side and fingering you under the table, or a quickie in the club's bathroom. on top of that, he gives me strong dom energy so...👁️👁️

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Jealous (William Nylander)

Request: Will you write a Willy Nylander one? Maybe a hot, jealous willy cus wow I need that in my life

A/N: Leafs won. My boys were on point. (Also, I hope this is close to what you wanted. IDK, I was hella distracted by the game.) I could probably write another one of these jealous Nylander ones, I feel like he’s probably very territorial. 

Word Count: 1641

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex.

Up Next: Demers, Matthews, Alex Nylander

William is always so happy. He really gives Mitch a run for who smiles the most. It was probably what drew you to him a little over a year ago. What most people don’t get to see is the other side. The jealous side. This was a side you’d only heard about. Mitch and Auston mentioned it a couple months after William asked you to be official. You’d almost forgotten about.

Almost.

Opening night. You weren’t sure who was more excited for hockey to be back, you or Will. You spent a crazy amount of money to have glass seats. Something you didn’t tell Will about. He would have insisted on paying for the ticket, and you didn’t want him to. So instead you let him believe you would be sitting in the seat provided by the Jet’s for the visiting teams’ significant others.

Keep reading

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Can you write an imagine where Jamie get jealous and mad with you for accidentally flirting with someone?

A/N: Of course! Here it is!

Flirting - Jamie Oleksiak

Words: 2.7k+

Type: Angst (and a little fluff)

Warnings: Arguing. Accidental flirting(?). Mentions of cheating.

You haven’t left Jamie’s side all that long ago. Maybe it has been about 10 minutes. It was long enough for you and your friends to stop at a nearby empty table of the busy bar when coming back from getting drinks, though. Nothing too bad since you’re still not that far to keep an eye on.

Jamie’s eyes are pretty much on you at all times. And that’s for multiple reasons. For example, if something happens between you and someone else, he can intervene; if your drunk ass decides to argue, he can go and stop it; and, lastly and most importantly, if you look good. 

Good luck with making him look away on that one.

He’s at a table with most of his friends, drink in his own hand, but he doesn’t exactly feel like he has drunk anything. He feels sort of bored, so looking over to check on you has been his way of entertainment. 

You smile over at your friend that just talked close to your ear and give her a nod, answering whatever question she just made you. At least you’re having fun.

Jamie decides to look away and not be the type of boyfriend to just not let you have fun on your own. So, he tries to find some sort of entertainment in the story that his friend is telling.

You’re looking down at your empty glass when you hear someone say to your friend ‘is that really you?’. You look up to see her hugging a bunch of guys, who seem nice at first glance, and they quickly start introducing themselves to the rest of the table.

They’re nice and seem like good fun, so you’re not seeing anything too bad of a thing happening.

You shake the hand of a few of them as they tell you their names, which, by the way, you’re sure you won't remember by the next hour. And that’s when one of them decides to stand on the space between you and your other friend, giving you a bright smile.

“I’m Jacob.” He said.

You, being known as the too nice one in the group, smiled sweetly and answered with an ‘it’s nice to meet you. I’m Y/N’. And that seems to have made him happy enough to make his smile stretch even further.

Jamie, out of a habit, looks over back at your table, not even just at you, and frowns at the sudden sight of a bunch of guys. They weren’t there like a second ago, where did they come from?

Curious, he looks over at the table more intensely and sees you talking to a guy. It doesn’t spark anything in him to do anything or react in any way, but be slightly confused.

You’re keeping a conversation just to be polite, but then you feel a hand on your back. It’s Jacob’s hand, right over the center of your exposed back. It catches you off guard, yet you don’t react in the way Jamie expected you to.

You didn’t push his arm away, or even took a step slightly to the side. You just continued to stand there, talking and smiling while Jacob’s hand moved ever so slightly on your skin.

If that did anything for Jacob was give him more confidence. The guy really thinks he’s getting his way with you. You look down at the table a few times while talking, and soon your small talk begins to be an actual conversation.

It started off as friendly, but you don’t exactly notice the turn it takes to flirting midway through. You’re a very flirtatious person, sure, but not (intentionally, at least) when you’re in a relationship. The turn was done completely by Jacob, yet you didn’t acknowledge it until much later.

Jamie’s annoyed. Not mad, just annoyed. You’re still talking to the guy that you, what he assumes, just met, letting him touch you, while you two exchange words with smirks on your faces.

He decides he has seen enough when the guy whispers something in your ear and you smile flirtatiously at him. Jamie doesn’t do anything, just looks away back to his friends and tries to forget what he just saw.

You’re so caught up with the conversation that you almost don’t feel the repetitive elbowing your friend was giving you on your side. When you finally look over your shoulder at her, it’s almost like you snap back to reality. Almost as if you burst the bubble you were taken in.

She, with a nod of her head, redirects your eyes over to your previous table, where Jamie and all his friends are. He’s staring down at his phone with a scowl on his face and soon gets up from his chair, getting the attention of some people.

You don’t move until you notice the word ‘uber’ come out of his mouth and with a quick movement, you smack the arm that is touching you and you walk, or rather run, over to him.

You’re able to get to him just a few steps away from the table and you notice something is wrong by the second that you touch his hand. He looks over his shoulder at you, and all you see is his annoyed look.

He doesn’t say anything or pushes you away, yet he doesn’t hold your hand either. You’re left with holding his hand that is completely relaxed and outstretched while you two walk over to the front doors of the bar.

As soon as you’re away from the crowd, you notice how he is walking faster, now. Something your smaller legs and heeled feet don’t find all that fun. Yet, you don’t say anything due to how tense everything feels.

When he finally stops walking, you’re both standing by the side of the road, probably waiting for the Uber he requested on his phone.

“What’s wrong?” You try to ask for the first time.

He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t seem to react all that well to it either, because he looks over at the end of the street. Almost as if to make sure he doesn’t look at you.

“Jamie.” You try by squeezing his hand slightly, “What’s wrong?”

Nothing.

“Did I do something?” You ask, feeling helpless.

“What do you think?” He asks, still not looking away from the end of the street.

You think for a second, but he beats you to it.

“You were with another guy, Y/N.” He tells you, tone dry, “It wasn’t all that long ago.” He adds with an ironic tone.

You stand silent for a bit.

“But that- Jamie, that was nothing.” You try to defend yourself. “We were just talking.”

“Oh really?” He scoffs.

“Yes.”

He nods at the nothingness again and takes a deep breath.

“You know very well if that was me with another girl, you would’ve been pissed.” He comments out loud and you continue to look at him.

He’s right. The way you let the guy touch you, talk to you while leaning closer, whisper in your ear, and even take the conversation into a flirting level. It all started with you trying to be nice, but now you’re noticing how you just took it too far. And yeah, if it was him doing all of that, you would’ve been just as upset. 

Fuck.

It’s an accident, but admitting that doesn’t stop from making it wrong.

“Do you finally understand what you did, or...?” Jamie asks, finally looking down at you.

“Yeah.” You whisper while nodding.

“Good.”

You look away from his eyes, feeling it a little too intense for you to handle, and you look back to the bar. There are people standing by the entrance with cigarettes in hand or just leaning against the walls of the building, talking between themselves.

You look down to your feet for a split second as you continue to hold Jamie’s hand without even realizing it. The headlights of a car in the distance snap you awake and as Jamie takes a step to the side, you understand that it’s the Uber.

Jamie is not one to explode with you when he’s mad, which means that he will or give you the silent treatment or just plainly make sure he acts mad all the time. Aka, being rude as hell - which only leads to more arguments.

At least those kinds of days are rare.

You let go of his hand as he makes his way inside the Uber, and soon, so do you. The both of you mutter a bit of a greeting to the driver, but not much more.

Jamie is sitting by the window, and you’re in the middle of the backseats. His eyes are focused on the streets outside, while yours are just nervously looking over at him.

Would a simple sorry fix it? Probably. But should you do it in front of the driver? That would just be awkward if it restarted the argument or made everything worse.

You decide to look away from Jamie and look at the road in front of you. It’s mostly empty due to how late it is, but there are still a few cars here and there.

Your gaze falls to your lap and your fingers reach slightly to play with the ends of your dress. It ends about midthigh, it’s red but not too vibrant. You liked it. Jamie had liked it too before you left the house, yet you’re not sure about anything anymore.

Thankfully, the drive home doesn’t take too long. You two said a quick goodnight to the driver before walking out but you didn’t miss the way Jamie is constantly trying to stay, at least, a bit away from you.

You bite the inside of your cheek and follow him to the entrance of his house, not opening your mouth to say anything yet. He’s the one to unlock the door, yet he opens the door for you to walk in before him.

With a whispered ‘thank you’, you walk in front of him and step aside from the entrance to take your heels off your feet. Jamie closes the door and disappears into the kitchen.

Your chest feels heavy, to say the least. 

You follow him into the kitchen and there, you find him with a water-filled glass in hand, looking down to his phone.

“Can we talk?” You ask, slightly hesitant.

He lifts his gaze to take a look at you and gives you a short nod.

“I’m sorry for what I did.” You start off, “I really didn’t mean to flirt with the guy. We were just talking and I didn’t even notice his intentions throughout the whole thing.”

Jamie still doesn’t look satisfied.

“It’s stupid of me for not thinking too much of it, but I truly didn’t think it would go like this.” You admit.

He puts his glass down on the countertop, as well as his phone. Jamie turns back to you, but before he can even say anything, you add another: “I’m sorry” for double the effect.

“Go like this, where? Do you mean ‘this’ by me getting mad or-”

“Jamie, you know that’s not what I mean.” You tell him, a little bit of frustration in your words.

“Than explain it to me.”

“I didn’t mean for the conversation to be even slightly flirty. We were talking about something random, even...”

“And what about when he put his hand on you?” He shakes his head, “What was that supposed to be? A little bit of more friendly touch?”

“Yes!”

“Oh, Y/N, come on. I thought you were smarter than this.” He tells you with a scoff, “A blind person could tell that you two were flirting from a mile away. All of those fucking smiles, the laughing and telling jokes- Seriously?”

You stare at him, slightly taken back.

“And, also, just to add a bit more to the situation: You only seemed to care about what was going on when I walked off.”

“Are you serious?” You ask.

“Fuck yeah, I’m serious.” He nods.

“Jamie, I already told you that I didn’t mean for the conversation with the guy to turn into flirting. I’m not joking.” You tell him, making him look away from you, “You know I wouldn’t do that.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“Right?” You ask for assurance.

There’s a silence of a few seconds. Your heart is pumping loudly in your chest, beating rapidly as some sort of adrenaline runs through your veins.

“I don’t know.” He finally answers, giving you a slight shrug.

Your heart drops at his tone.

“Jamie.” You start, taking a slight step closer to him, “You really think that?”

“I said, ‘I don’t know’, Y/N. I don’t think shit.” He says, “I would like to think that you would never do such a thing but-”

“Don’t you even dare finish that sentence.” You tell him as you point your finger at him.

He looks away again.

“I love you, Jamie. What the fuck?” You whisper the last part to yourself, “I would never cheat on you. Ever. You know how I feel about the whole thing. You know that.”

He finally looks back. His gaze is sad even though his face holds an angry scowl. His hands are gripping onto the counter behind him, probably enraged by the whole situation. You get it.

God, you’re hating this.

His eyes hold your own and you decide to step closer to him, this time with no hesitation. He doesn’t move away like you expect him to. He just stands there.

With your heart still beating rapidly in your ears, you step closer and closer until you’re standing by his side facing him.

“I’m sorry.” You add in the middle of the thick silence.

You watch as his chest rises up and falls calmly, now, and he studies you for a good second.

Taking a bit of a bold move, you reach beside him and lay your hand over his. It relaxes ever so slightly with your touch, letting go of the grip he has on the stone behind him.

You take his hand into your own two hands and grab onto it softly. You don’t want to fight. It’s useless when it comes to these situations. There’s no way of this ending well if you continue.

His hand lays relaxed in your hold, just like in the bar and, for a second, you start losing hope. He doesn’t even move one of his fingers, he just lets you grab it.

A sudden weight comes back to your shoulders as all your frustration and anger evaporates off you. All you feel is worry. Worry of this not working out in some way, where Jamie just won’t believe you or something of the sort.

You should’ve just stayed with him in the bar. God, or even at home. You two didn’t feel like going out either way tonight. Why in the hell did you even go?

As your panic starts to kick in, Jamie looks down at your hands holding his and decides to finally end your misery by finally moving his hand. You almost gasp at the sudden movement, but he softly moves his hand and intertwines his fingers with yours.

He pulls you closer by your hands and you take careful small steps.

“I forgive you.” He says with a slight lift of the corner of his lips.

Relief washes over you like never before. Almost like a very welcomed ice bucket of water on a hot day. Unexpected yet still very much appreciated.

You let go of his hand quickly and wrap your arms around his torso. You would be lying if you said that your body isn’t shaking in fear of how this could’ve ended, but still, Jamie is quick to wrap his arms around you and hold your shaking body close his.

He leans his bearded cheek on your forehead and one of his hands lays over your exposed back, moving his thumb comfortingly over your soft skin. Your hands hold onto his shirt, and you relax ever so slightly over his warm chest.

“I love you.” You whisper softly at him, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want this to happen.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He tells you just as softly, “It’s in the past now, okay?” You nod, “Just act like it never happened.”

You nod against his chest again and squeeze him closer to you.

“And, I love you too.” He whispers before laying a kiss on your forehead.

You close your eyes at his words and, finally, it seems like your heart starts to slow down. Leaving all the negative thoughts of possible bad outcomes from this in the back of your mind.

“Just-” He starts and you reopen your eyes, “Don’t ever do it again.”

A small smile curves your lips.

“I won’t. Ever.” You tell him.

“Good.” He concludes. 

Hope you liked this! Sorry it took me so long.

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Ooo lazy spooning sex with Fred 🥵 like he would slowly but with hard thrusts pump in and out of you while biting the shit out of your back and neck

I’m way too thirsty for him rn, even the last ask was a bit thirsty 😭

Lazy spooning sex with Freddie is hot as fuck.

You feel his hot breath in your ear, telling you how good you feel around him and how tight you’re squeezing his length, he’s so freaking thick and you feel everything from this angle. He curls his legs around yours and spreads them open, with his fingers rubbing slow circles on your clit. He’s taking his time, wanting to enjoy the feeling, edging you in the process.

Hearing his groans right beside you and it just makes you wetter 🥵 he definitely knows what this position does to you and honestly who’s complaining.

As he cums he bites down on the sensitive skin of your neck, his hand reaching up to wrap around your throat, whispering how he’s going to cum inside you, and how he wants you to cum with him, filling your sweet cunt to the brim.

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Captain

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69​

Tagging: @nazdaddy​ @dannyweight​ @blueskrugs​ @mcmo-anon​

Relationship: Established; Kirby Dach x Reader

Summary: Kirby deserves to be rewarded for being named captain.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Smut.

Comments: This takes place in a COVID free world so they aren’t in the bubble or anything.

Keep reading

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

“My child is fine” your child checks every single reblog on every single one of their posts to see if someone said something in the tags

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

For Writers:

Reblog if it’s okay for your followers to leave you an ask telling you what the one thing is they remember you for as a writer.  Is it a scene or a detail or a specific line? Is it something like style or characterization?  Is it that one weird kink they never thought they’d be into, but oh my god wow self-discovery time?

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

if you would be so kind as to reblog this if you feel insecure about your writing skills.

[hockey-hoe-24-7]

Can you do a joe burrow one were the reader and joe are best friends and when he get nervous he plays with her hair and she goes to the game vs chiefs and she see him after the game and ask if he could kiss her please:)

i changed it up a bit

requests are closed. please don't send anything in.

the one thing joe found comfort in when he got stressed was running his hands through your hair. you lived together (in separate rooms), so finding comfort when he was stressed was easy.

you were catching up on a few episodes of the show you missed when joe barged into your room, "hi, i like knocking."

joe murmured something under his breath before dropping himself on your bed, dropping his head into your lap, "oh, i'm sorry, joey. what's got you so upset?"

the next day, you were sitting amongst the crowd of bengals fans, sporting a burrow jersey. to anyone else, it looked like a normal jersey, a little big on you, but normal nonetheless. to you, it was something more.

it was an original joe burrow jersey, previously owned and worn by the man himself. you had been friends since childhood, so when you moved to ohio, he made sure to get you a very special one.

after the game, you made your way down to the tunnel. when you got there, you saw joe talking with someone, so you occupied yourself with your phone.

"are you allowed to be down here?" someone who worked at the stadium walked up. you smiled, flashing him the pass wrapped around your neck, "ahh, vip." he nodded.

"yeah." you nodded, glancing back up at joe to find him staring at you, not paying attention to the conversation he was having with the other guy.

joe watched your interaction with whatshisname for a whole three minutes before he decided to step in. he excused himself from the conversation before walking over to you.

"oh, hey, there you are." you smiled when you saw him walk over, "stephan didn't believe me when i said i knew you."

"so, she does actually know you." stephan laughed.

"yeah, she does." joe nodded, "are you ready?"

"um, yeah." you nodded, taken aback by his rudeness, "it was nice to meet you, stephan."

"you, too, y/n." he smiled and waved.

you waved as joe pulled you away, "ow, i know you're aggressive, but i kind of like my arms attached to the rest of my body." you pulled your arm away.

"what's got you so upset anyway? i was having a good conversation with stephan."

"stephan." joe scoffed.

"what's your deal, dude?"

"my deal? i don't have a deal." he rolled his eyes.

"yeah, you do. so, spill." you crossed your arms, standing your ground, not moving when he tried to tug you along towards the car.

he inhaled deeply, trying to get his thoughts together, "what i'm about to say has the potential to change our entire relationship."

"i like you, too." you beat him to it.

"what? how'd you know-"

"you're my best friend, joe. i can read you pretty well."

"really? i'm that easy to read?"

"yeah, i've known you for like 5 years, we're best friends. i know your tells."

"my tells?"

"yeah."

"what are they?"

"well, i can't tell you cause if i do, then you'll stop doing it."

he rolled his eyes, throwing an arm around your shoulders, leading you both towards the car, "you have one, too."

requests are closed. please don't send anything in.

#Joe Burrow