hkomsul

[hkomsul]

Updates as of May 3: 

projects are almost (with the exception of 1 still) rendered out and completely done, just have to upload final versions of subsequently and iridescent to their platforms and link from there.

other than the main projects, i have to keep linking things which is relatively where I said i would be by this time in the SPP calendar.

[hkomsul]

Outside Critic meeting

I met with Claire Hentschker to discuss my project

I had so much fun and it was so insightful beyond the surface. I left the meeting seeing the project as something more than what I even want it to be. Claire offered such! good! feedback! on the narrative aspect of the project, and tips on adding character and depth to it which is very much what I needed. 

Something specific we discussed was organizing the experience using nodes to really curate the “scavenger hunt” experience. We spent some time on aesthetics, which felt so important to me before, but something I gained from our meeting was realizing that the message is already communicated. It is established that this is a desktop experience, i was so stuck on driving that home that i was struggling tp grapple with the project outside of that. I realized I was at a mental block because I thought i needed to convey the idea more effectively, that I wasn’t putting enough into the actual projects. 

updates i’m making based on our meeting: 

creating more “nodes” and making it more difficult to get all the assets but still offering them. populating ALL folders with SOMETHING. we talked about using this very intentionally - what separates all the other folders from the folders with “art”? And finally, we talked about integrating an excel sheet to house the output of the google form in order to allow access to those responses. 

#outside critic

[hkomsul]

updates/documentation

updated tangible (at 13 pages now), got assets for redesigning the site page, finished 3/4 of wordly/otherworldy. 

[hkomsul]

Demo Day Feedback

on demo day i got a lot of helpful feedback! I had to pose a lot of questions rather than just get feedback immediately, but i think that was because i was the first person in my group to present. 

one of the questions i asked was whether or not the project translated in any way as a scavenger hunt, and generally everyone said yes :) 

someone suggested that i use different icons instead of just the folder to represent different file types that are within the folders/ icons of applications etc.. and i think that would really add to the experience. I also got feedback to add random stuff into each folder - but i wonder how that will affect the experience of the actual project folders, so thats something to think about! -> a work around for this that was suggested was to have a hover to indicate what is clickable :)

there was also feedback suggested by melissa which was then supported and echoed by almost everyone else- which was to include a way to interact more directly with/get user input. for example, using the “messages” option in the doc as a forum almost for user input, or using the spotify/apple music icon to collect their usernames etc... I think i prefer this route to the one mentioned above, because it feels more like add ons than recalibrating the whole project. 

[hkomsul]

accountability group meetings #3 and #4

Meeting #3

for this meeting we discussed the progress we had made over the prior week and what we wanted to achieve by next week. This was a little tricky for me because it was the week I didn’t finish getting feedback for my project in the google form, so i worked on conceptualizing the method of presentation/hosting 

Meeting #4

during this meeting, we all caught up as usual and mentioned what we were planning to have to present during demo day. Per usual, we ended by discussing our goals for the next week 

#Accountability group

[hkomsul]

Response to Kelsa’s visit

Kelsa’s visit was interesting! I realized during it that there are so, so....so many more resources and avenues that artists have. I think DeAngela’s question at the end, regarding the age range NEW INC. artist applicants fall under, and that in itself made me reflect on all the opportunities young artists ignore because they’re young, and how artists really need to advocate for themselves and their work.

Kelsa’s insight on NEW INC. was refreshing and NEW INC.’s mission statement was exciting. I think its cool that they had different “themes” or “concepts” that their artists are then broken up into, and I was really impressed by the team. I actually would love to hear from the rest of the team and find out how they came up with this year’s (would have been very helpful for the showcase :D)

#reseponse #guest speaker

[hkomsul]

SPP_iteration_02

1. Project Statement

Working Project Title: Lexicon of Love?

What is your project about?

My project is about words. More specifically, my favorite words.  These words include, but are not limited to: catharsis, subsequently, tangible, iridescent, juxtaposition, wordly and otherworldly, ambiguous.

What are your project's theme(s) or conceptual underpinnings? I’d like to explore experimental digital anthropology with this project. Visceral, confusing, and grounding.

What is your project's "elevator pitch"? Think of a phrase or 1 sentence maximum.

I want to make a digital scavenger hunt, that consists of multiple projects of various mediums, and use their titles to tell stories about love.

What is your short, project description? Write a 200-300 word paragraph that addresses four of the five essential questions:

This project is my chance to finally create a digital body of work that represents all of my skills, as well as explores topics of contention for me. I’ve recently realized that I can combine the themes I’ve studied in my minors (anthropology/humanities) into the creative field of my digital media major. I want to make people, including myself, feel something. My target audience is other digital artists. This project is inspired greatly by net artists and the general idea of having a digital legacy. Some artists that inspired me directly are Jon Bois and Molly Soda, however each individual project within this project also has its own inspiration, of course. The how of this project is honestly still rocky. There will be at least one project to include in the project being made per week, the risk with this is falling behind.

2. Motivation:

I like the idea of my project, I really do. But theres some part of me that knows i already need to pivot. I’m doing this project because I want to create something in every medium I’ve learned (or as many as I can) within my time in undergrad. So ultimately, I’m doing this project for myself. I’m exploring my own capabilities and expressions of those capabilities. I’m holding myself accountable to actually create, and I’m forcing myself to tell a story (something I feel I struggle a lot with, unfortunately). This project is for my own growth and self-understanding. In terms of what I’m trying to convey outwardly, I want to be a random link on the internet that once/if you stumble upon, is a treat and an experience. I love confusing and almost ominous things on the internet. “how did you get here? who made you? why do i care?” and I want to create one of these experiences myself.

I am willing to commit to this project but I really think i need to pivot in my  presentation of the project in order to make sure I actually focus on the content and story.

3. Influences

As mentioned above I have various influences. Injury reserve, Lido, Jaden- these are sonic inspirations and influences. Susan Sontag, Anne Carson and Jenny Holzer are some conceptual influences. Jon Bois and Molly Soda are web/net art influences.

My inputs are my family life, my culture, my religion and perspective on my own religion. My inputs are my friendships, and the love that I experience in them. My inputs are failed and successful romantic relationships. My inputs are my experiences and struggles with mental health, specifically in relation to self love (in this case).

4. Target Audience

My target audience is other digital media artists, and potentially those looking to explore love. I want someone to see the page, understand that there are connections everywhere- i want to document my perception of love and share it. I want to open up a conversation within the viewers head. I think digital media artists are best to receive this story in through this multi-medium approach because the project itself plays into that realm.

5. Related Projects

http://wellnow.wtf/enter/index.html

this seemed like a doable example of layout maybe for final presentation

https://www.instagram.com/subwayhands/

https://projects.jennyholzer.com/exhibitions/jenny-holzer-mass-moca--/gallery#1

These related projects, although related, arent necessarily competitors. I’ve been having a difficult time finding competitors, I really think the closest I’ve come across is :https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football  and in comparison to mine, there are a lot of missing mediums.

I’ve also been thinking about incorporating some other platforms like making an instagram account to house certain projects

6. Resources:

My accountability group as well as the whole senior project class, classmates across different classes...as well as the IDM community as a whole.

the internet is a huge resource as well. there will be some material costs, but generally low. I am predicting $200 most for prints and shipping tools potentially, and under $100 for music production software.

softwares include: adobe creative cloud (which i already have), glitch softwares like EbSythth, and code applications. I also will be using a camera to record video aspects.

7.

GOAL (30 days) = have the whole project planned out and in the making

Milestone (today) = finish SPP iteration _01

Tasks: Complete remaining tasks and create calendar/set specific deadlines .

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GOAL (30 days) = have material to work with while making the project

Milestone (today) =  send out google form!!

Tasks: make the google form and consider what direction/how to frame questions 

8. Ideation & Research

Wordlists are definitely helpful in the beginning stages, as this experience/project is fueled by semantics and word associations. I think I’m speaking way too vaguely about this project, which is a problem. I must brainstorm what medium to present it all on, and I think that would be successfully done by looking up other digital artist to draw inspiration from. I think part of me really is leaning towards a screen-recording and turning the final product documentation into a youtube video. i think there is something highly symbolic and a little fulfilling in doing that. I don’t want to get caught in a web of searching for niche art on youtube when I know I need to put my time into the actually project themselves, but that is a starting place right now.

Generally, I believe there are many places I can look to find my ideation and research but I also think letting the inspirations appear organically is better, plus I wont have to worry too much about a research binge!

9. Design and development

N/A

10. Feasibility check

I’m definitely constantly asking myself about this.  there is something unattainable about this project still, and i think its boiling down to my ability to tell a story about love while simultaneously getting the projects actually done in a timely manner. I’m trying to reincorporate the notion of love languages into the project (hence name shift!) so adding another milestone/goal/task:

GOAL (30 days) = pivot concept of love stories  

Milestone (today) = brainstorm brainstorm brainstorm!!!

Tasks: make lists and research more.

[hkomsul]

accountability group meeting #2

this meeting we went over what we did (and didn’t) do during the past week. I really enjoy meeting with my group once a week and feel like it actually is working, and the better we get to know each other, the less i want to let them down. 

we discussed potential critics and encouraged each other to make the next steps in getting those secured. we also went over what we planned to do during the upcoming week as well, of course :) 

#accountability group

[hkomsul]

accountability group meeting #1

2/26/21 @2:30pm 

for this meeting we reminded each other of our project ideas and noted how we all primarily work on the weekend, so we talked about what we planned to do during the next couple of days and touch base again next week. 

#accountability group

[hkomsul]

SPP_Iteration_01_cont.

1. Project Statement

Working Project Title: Lexicon of Love? 

What is your project about?

My project is about words. More specifically, my favorite words.  These words include, but are not limited to: catharsis, subsequently, tangible, iridescent, juxtaposition, wordly and otherworldly, ambiguous.

What are your project's theme(s) or conceptual underpinnings? I’d like to explore experimental digital anthropology with this project. Visceral, confusing, and grounding.

What is your project's "elevator pitch"? Think of a phrase or 1 sentence maximum.

I want to make a digital scavenger hunt, that consists of multiple projects of various mediums, and use their titles to tell a connected and cohesive story about love.(?)

What is your short, project description? Write a 200-300 word paragraph that addresses four of the five essential questions:

This project is my chance to finally create a digital body of work that represents all of my skills, as well as explores topics of contention for me. I’ve recently realized that I can combine the themes I’ve studied in my minors (anthropology/humanities) into the creative field of my digital media major. I want to make people, including myself, feel something. My target audience is other digital artists. This project is inspired greatly by net artists and the general idea of having a digital legacy. Some artists that inspired me directly are Jon Bois and Molly Soda, however each individual project within this project also has its own inspiration, of course. The how of this project is honestly still rocky. There will be at least one project to include in the project being made per week, the risk with this is falling behind.

2. Motivation:

I like the idea of my project, I really do. But theres some part of me that knows i already need to pivot. I’m doing this project because I want to create something in every medium I’ve learned (or as many as I can) within my time in undergrad. So ultimately, I’m doing this project for myself. I’m exploring my own capabilities and expressions of those capabilities. I’m holding myself accountable to actually create, and I’m forcing myself to tell a story (something I feel I struggle a lot with, unfortunately). This project is for my own growth and self-understanding. In terms of what I’m trying to convey outwardly, I want to be a random link on the internet that once/if you stumble upon, is a treat and an experience. I love confusing and almost ominous things on the internet. “how did you get here? who made you? why do i care?” and I want to create one of these experiences myself.

I am willing to commit to this project but I really think i need to pivot in my  presentation of the project in order to make sure I actually focus on the content and story.

3. Influences

As mentioned above I have various influences. Injury reserve, Lido, Jaden- these are sonic inspirations and influences. Susan Sontag, Anne Carson and Jenny Holzer are some conceptual influences. Jon Bois and Molly Soda are web/net art influences.

My inputs are my family life, my culture, my religion and perspective on my own religion. My inputs are my friendships, and the love that I experience in them. My inputs are failed and successful romantic relationships. My inputs are my experiences and struggles with mental health, specifically in relation to self love (in this case).

4. Target Audience

My target audience is other digital media artists, and potentially those looking to explore love. I want someone to see the page, understand that there are connections everywhere- i want to document my perception of love and share it. I want to open up a conversation within the viewers head. I think digital media artists are best to receive this story in through this multi-medium approach because the project itself plays into that realm.

5. Related Projects

http://wellnow.wtf/enter/index.html

this seemed like a doable example of layout maybe for final presentation 

https://www.instagram.com/subwayhands/

https://projects.jennyholzer.com/exhibitions/jenny-holzer-mass-moca--/gallery#1

These related projects, although related, arent necessarily competitors. I’ve been having a difficult time finding competitors, I really think the closest I’ve come across is :https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football  and in comparison to mine, there are a lot of missing mediums. 

I’ve also been thinking about incorporating some other platforms like making an instagram account to house certain projects

6. Resources: 

My accountability group as well as the whole senior project class, classmates across different classes...as well as the IDM community as a whole. 

the internet is a huge resource as well. there will be some material costs, but generally low. I am predicting $200 most for prints and shipping tools potentially, and under $100 for music production software. 

softwares include: adobe creative cloud (which i already have), glitch softwares like EbSythth, and code applications. I also will be using a camera to record video aspects.

7.

GOAL (30 days) = have the whole project planned out and in the making

Milestone (today) = finish SPP iteration _01

Tasks: Complete remaining tasks and create calendar/set specific deadlines .

8. Ideation & Research

Wordlists are definitely helpful in the beginning stages, as this experience/project is fueled by semantics and word associations. I think I’m speaking way too vaguely about this project, which is a problem. I must brainstorm what medium to present it all on, and I think that would be successfully done by looking up other digital artist to draw inspiration from. I think part of me really is leaning towards a screen-recording and turning the final product documentation into a youtube video. i think there is something highly symbolic and a little fulfilling in doing that. I dont want to get caught in a web of searching for niche art on youtube when I know I need to put my time into the actualy project themselves, but that is a starting place right now.

Generally, I believe there are many places I can look to find my ideation and research but I also think letting the inspirations appear organically is better, plus I wont have to worry too much about a research binge!

9. Design and development

N/A

10. Feasibility check 

I’m definitely constantly asking myself about this.  there is something unattainable about this project still, and i think its boiling down to my ability to tell a story about love while simultaneously getting the projects actually done in a timely manner. I’m trying to reincorporate the notion of love languages into the project (hence name shift!) so adding another milestone/goal/task: 

GOAL (30 days) = pivot concept of love stories  

Milestone (today) = brainstorm brainstorm brainstorm!!!

Tasks: make lists and research more. 

[hkomsul]

SPP_ Iteration_01

1. Project Statement 

Working Project Title: Love Languages 

What is your project about?

My project is about words. More specifically, my favorite words.  These words include, but are not limited to: catharsis, subsequently, tangible, iridescent, juxtaposition, wordly and otherworldly, ambiguous. 

What are your project's theme(s) or conceptual underpinnings? I’d like to explore experimental digital anthropology with this project. Visceral, confusing, and grounding. 

What is your project's "elevator pitch"? Think of a phrase or 1 sentence maximum. 

I want to make a digital book, that consists of multiple projects of various mediums, and use their titles to tell a connected and cohesive story about love.(?)

What is your short, project description? Write a 200-300 word paragraph that addresses four of the five essential questions:

This project is my chance to finally create a digital body of work that represents all of my skills, as well as explores topics of contention for me. I’ve recently realized that I can combine the themes I’ve studied in my minors (anthropology/humanities) into the creative field of my digital media major. I want to make people, including myself, feel something. My target audience is other digital artists. This project is inspired greatly by net artists and the general idea of having a digital legacy. Some artists that inspired me directly are Jon Bois and Molly Soda, however each individual project within this project also has its own inspiration, of course. The how of this project is honestly still rocky. There will be at least one project to include in the project being made per week, the risk with this is falling behind. 

2. Motivation: 

I like the idea of my project, I really do. But theres some part of me that knows i already need to pivot. I’m doing this project because I want to create something in every medium I’ve learned (or as many as I can) within my time in undergrad. So ultimately, I’m doing this project for myself. I’m exploring my own capabilities and expressions of those capabilities. I’m holding myself accountable to actually create, and I’m forcing myself to tell a story (something I feel I struggle a lot with, unfortunately). This project is for my own growth and self-understanding. In terms of what I’m trying to convey outwardly, I want to be a random link on the internet that once/if you stumble upon, is a treat and an experience. I love confusing and almost ominous things on the internet. “how did you get here? who made you? why do i care?” and I want to create one of these experiences myself.

I am willing to commit to this project but I really think i need to pivot in my  presentation of the project in order to make sure I actually focus on the content and story. 

3. Influences

As mentioned above I have various influences. Injury reserve, Lido, Jaden- these are sonic inspirations and influences. Susan Sontag, Anne Carson and Jenny Holzer are some conceptual influences. Jon Bois and Molly Soda are web/net art influences. 

My inputs are my family life, my culture, my religion and perspective on my own religion. My inputs are my friendships, and the love that I experience in them. My inputs are failed and successful romantic relationships. My inputs are my experiences and struggles with mental health, specifically in relation to self love (in this case). 

4. Target Audience 

My target audience is other digital media artists, and potentially those looking to explore love. I want someone to see the page, understand that there are connections everywhere- i want to document my perception of love and share it. I want to open up a conversation within the viewers head. I think digital media artists are best to receive this story in through this multi-medium approach because the project itself plays into that realm.

8. Ideation & Research 

Wordlists are definitely helpful in the beginning stages, as this experience/project is fueled by semantics and word associations. I think I’m speaking way too vaguely about this project, which is a problem. I must brainstorm what medium to present it all on, and I think that would be successfully done by looking up other digital artist to draw inspiration from. I think part of me really is leaning towards a screen-recording and turning the final product documentation into a youtube video. i think there is something highly symbolic and a little fulfilling in doing that. I dont want to get caught in a web of searching for niche art on youtube when I know I need to put my time into the actualy project themselves, but that is a starting place right now. 

Generally, I believe there are many places I can look to find my ideation and research but I also think letting the inspirations appear organically is better, plus I wont have to worry too much about a research binge! 

[hkomsul]

Response to: On desperation as motivation

some things that resonated/stood out to me (even though these were primarily the highlighted moments anyway) : 

“I like to think of myself as making art. I make art, and I want to make art. Films are art, and this film is art, I think. My art itself, while I was making it, was yelling at me saying, ‘Don’t fucking make me!’ Everything was against me, but you just keep on going.”

“I work on weekends. I don’t know if it’s a problem or if it’s, like, “Oh, you’re just a cool, hard worker; you’re committed....Don’t do what I do, which is like, it’s all muddy and who knows if I’m working or if I’m not working.”

“Things that are meaningful to me and that come from my weird brain and my heart and that other people can find something in, they can laugh, they can cry.”

It always shocks me when I can relate to another artist. I forget thats another shared experience within itself, in many ways. I really enjoyed and appreciated this interview, and Ben’s honesty. In relation to my own senior project, I identify a lot with the project screaming back “Don’t fucking make me!”. There are many reasons for that, but the primary two being 

1. what if i mess it up? (thinking back to The Big Thing again) 

2. theres a lot of pressure on our senior projects- I mean its a grade that defines my GPA, for starters. But it’s also something i MUST present at the showcase. This is how people in my IDM community will know and remember me, for the most part. at least for now. 

I think that ultimately stems back to what Ben was saying about success, though. If i’m putting my heart and brain into it, and as long as people are able to connect to it, then it must be successful enough, at the very least. 

I feel like the more i read/listen to these resources the more simultaneously motivated and demotivated i become, and I’m just waiting for the spark to finally go off that shuts out the demotivating thoughts...but i’m on a time line. I just have to stay calm and consistent, I think. 

[hkomsul]

My favorite project

My favorite project idea I have, that I’ve already decided on, is the cumulative multi-media project, Love Languages. The title is a work in progress though, I actually might change it to something in Turkish or Kurdish to personalize it more. This project allows me to be able to do everything I want to, audio, web, graphics, photography, videography, physical, and performance art! I found a way to incorporate my “full circles” idea into this as well, which I’m super happy about.  like 2 in 1 but make it 7 in 1 :) 

Something that came up during our speed chats was the method of documentation and presentation for all of these medias and mediums. I think what I’m going to do is have it all documented on a web page that appears as a mac desktop and each project will be represented as a folder, and within that folder is the final project along with documentation. i think this transparency is where I can find the balance between vulnerability and my personal voice. 

[hkomsul]

Response to: On the Values of Process

This was really...calming to read. I’m not sure why, I think like some of the previous cohort letters, the tone and language resonates with me. One part in particular: 

“When you actually watch someone in process, you’re engaging in kinesthetic learning and knowledge is being transferred through the body. The most important thing you should be able to have now, as an artist, is the ability to find the knowledge—not the knowledge itself. Because the technologies keep changing, you know? Knowledge isn’t stable. So what’s more important? It’s about how to find process, and keep learning process, and being open to keep learning process.“ - Ganesh

I recently discussed the relation between ignorance and knowledge in epistemology (specifically in the context of queer studies), so it stood out to me to hear Ganesh’s take on how artists truly learn and obtain their skills. I think this resonates with me because I always feel like I take the back-road when I’m making things. I always tell myself it adds character, that its my style to not do things conventionally, and reading “Because the technologies keep changing, you know? Knowledge isn’t stable. So what’s more important? It’s about how to find process, and keep learning process, and being open to keep learning process.” specifically, blew my mind. My process is perfectly fine, and if it means i’m getting my senior project done, as long as I’m staying true to my own integrity as an artist, I shouldn’t put more pressure on myself to do things the “right” way. (this isn’t in regards to ethics, of course- i mean taking coding shortcuts or image manipulation for desired effects!) 

[hkomsul]

Response to: letters from the previous cohort:

The first letter I read was by Yayha. I really admire his work, and for some reason (probably seeing him post personal work on instagram even post graduating) it was really refreshing to read, from him, that time WILL run out. Its always a little comforting to know you’re not the only one falling behind, and i think for me that reminder helps me keep on going. I think many of us unfortunately get into a headspace where we think if its not exactly what we want it to be (thinking back to the Big thing), or we’re not exactly where we think we should be, that we should stop working. I feel like this sentiment keeps coming up in my responses. I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something. 

as I read through the other letters, what stood out to me in particular was 1. planning out as much as possible and 2. making something for yourself. to address planning..well, i’ve always thought I needed to plan less. Be more flexible, give things time and space. So maybe i can indulge in some control through this project. To address making something for myself, I guess what holds me back in this project specifically is balancing how personal i can make it with how vulnerable i’m willing to be. It also, and I know everything is relative and everyone is able and SHOULD create whatever they want, but it also just feel selfish to make a project that doesn’t benefit a community or cause. I think this is a really strong point of contention for me, because i want to make something bigger than me, and this WILL be bigger than me, hm.... I guess I really need to work on not comparing myself to others in this way. 

The last letter I read, which I’m grateful to have read last, was by Marco. This letter resonated with me the most, maybe it was the tone or language, I’m not sure. I just found a lot of comfort in it. In particular, the call to experiment with other mediums reinstated the whole intention of my senior project. 

This was a really sweet exercise, although daunting. To know that these prior students were in my shoes too just a year ago, and now they’re well beyond the work of their senior projects, while that is beautiful for them, its terrifying for me.

[hkomsul]

Molly Soda Response

I think this is awesome!! I think this is a phenomena we will see a lot with Gen Z-ers, and its really interesting to hear about. I think so many of us now have grown up on the internet, and we’ve seen so many interceptions of our internet worlds with our real worlds that things like this ( the case of Molly Soda) are harder to register as unique generational experiences because we’re even still in the process of experiencing it. maybe that doesn’t make sense, stream of consiousness- sorry! 

Anyway, back to the response, I thought it was really interesting (but not shocking) that they decided to turn what seems to have just been a personal interest, into a job. I then got to the part in the video where they mentioned that most people are made to feel like art is just a hobby. ah. i think i need to de-condition myself in order to effectively make time to make my art without feeling guilty for “wasting time”. 

overall, i think this was a really relatable and in a way, inspiring video to watch. I really admire Molly Soda’s perspective on the internet and digital art.

 “Literally the best thing you can do is keep making work” - this made me wonder if digital art (in the realm of Molly Soda, not all digital art), because its so “accessible” and “low-brow”, potentially requires more visible intention and effort than perhaps a fine art, because its automatically deemed less valuable? 

[hkomsul]

The art of Innovation by Guy Kawasaki Response

I appreciated the third point about perspective. I think a big obstacle for me is feeling confined to a certain realm of work, but that just leaves me stuck in one spot. I realized i need to work readjusting my perspective, but more specifically, expanding it. 

I really “churn baby churn”, because of my personal creative process. I’m an iterator. I can’t sit still when something doesn’t feel good enough- i think this always leads me into a research binge though. I’ll end up spending way too much time searching for the right thing/piece and iterating that i ruin what was good. 

I also realized how much i dont relate to “Don’t Worry be crappy”. i’m so afraid of not putting enough intention or effort into things that i cant make progress after a certain point. 

This made me understand the various angles i should keep balanced, it made me realize a lot of areas that i tend to lack, but also reminded me of the things i do constantly that help me in the long run, like iterating (even if sometimes i overdo it) or making meaning behind what i do.