hitchyvampyre

[hitchyvampyre]

Them again 🫣❤️

You think he would remember as someone who owns an ANTIQUE shop. But alas, he is a little bit stupid

#they’re so SWEET

[hitchyvampyre]

Can you draw link sneezing and scaring away epona?

ah yes s h e d d i n g aheheh this is my first actual uhhh snz comic lol pls tell me if it's alright edit: I FORGOT. MAL'S EARS. IM GONNA FUCKING,,, ToT

#HESBSONCUTIE

[hitchyvampyre]

imagine sitting in class listening to your professor and suddenly you start sneezing. then your professor says "bless you, bless you, wow bless you again. feeling a bit under the weather, young man?" IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. and because of this you feel like you're a walking living PLAGUE.

ayooo, that's embarrassing.

but yeah, that just happened to me today.

#…🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 #i’d melt

[hitchyvampyre]

A's partner B is a frequent sneezer, from allergies to illnesses to seemingly random, B usually sneezes twice a day at a minimum. When B lets out an uncharacteristically soft sneeze compared to their typical strong ones, A immediately notices the difference. So sleepy that it's reflected in their sneeze, A's blessing is equally soft and hushed.

#cute🫠🫠🫠

[hitchyvampyre]

Stifling is so cute, and the way the body still has a physical reaction and shakes a bit as they try to hide the sneeze and keep it quiet. Underrated.

[hitchyvampyre]

hate when men open with "hey" or "wyd?" or something, when they could open with, "hold on, sorry, gotta sne- hh.. ehh'ghziew! sndrf.. wow, pardon me. goodness..."

y'know? idk, make an impression :]

[hitchyvampyre]

I'll never not fantasize about character A having a cold and character B making it their mission to be prepared with tissues (or recently a hanky?? idk that part is new for me 🫢).

"hold on, don't sneeze just yet, let me grab you a tissue first"

"here, sweetheart, take this- oh! just in time. bless you"

"there's a box of tissues on your nightstand" - B "...but you just tucked a second box of tissues into bed with me" - A

(which of course leads to A depending on B to always have a tissue ready. "B, I'm g-gonna- I need a- thank youhhh-HDSH'shoo!)

#CUTE

[hitchyvampyre]

refined/polite person sneezing to the side, completely uncovered because it caught them off guard

[hitchyvampyre]

I’ve been drawing a snz of each of my ocs at a time cuz I’m insane

First 4, doing the last three next 🫶

R/osemary, C/ecil, P/epper and B/rie !

[hitchyvampyre]

A BUNCH OF TF2 SNEEZES I MADE IN SFM! YOOO!! all classes (+ 5 fav classes of blue)

(i was making it SO LONG and i will eat you if you won't like it🆘)

the fact i saw some on the snz fet forum, but sadly couldn't see images, so i decided to ANIMATE it, and believe i was trying my hard and my best😭

#oh my..

[hitchyvampyre]

Team Fortress 2 Snz Headcannons

Scout

very loud kitten sneezes

they always come in threes

“Hch!”

Soldier

very loud

you can always tell when he's about to sneeze because of his comical "ahh.. ahh.." beforehand

his sneezes sound exactly like an "achoo!" which is simultaneously expected and weird as hell to the other mercs

Pyro

they hardly sneeze at all due to their mask filtering it out, but when they do sneeze, maybe due to sickness, they're very much upset by it, as it means they'll have to clean out their mask

their own sneezing grosses them out, but they think some of the other mercs' are endearing

i'd imagine if any of the mercs had the kink it'd be Pyro? Just because they're so mysterious and no one would question if they maybe blew some smoke someone's way if they wanted to hear them sneeze

idk i really like the idea of Pyro with the kink

Demo

used to errant sneezes every so often and doesn't bother to know what set him off

has very messy sneezes that gross out the other mercs, but he doesn't mind it

Engie

similarly, he's used to sneezes every so often, usually due to sand or sawdust

he only gets annoyed with it when it causes him to make a mistake in his work

his sneezes sound sorta like "Hh-pfffph", and he always tries to stifle

Heavy

small sneezes

truly a gentle giant

that's all

big man smol snez

Medic

his sneezes are absolutely silent

the other mercs absolutely tease him for this

they've learned to tell if stops in the middle of a sentence to stifle, which almost always looks painful

he usually gives a little disoriented shudder afterwards before either continuing to talk or if he deems it necessary (which is most of the time)go wash his hands and maybe get a new coat if the mess was bad enough

he is very much a germaphobe despite his experiements, he doesn't mind blood and the like of course but outside elements like dirt or bodily fluids just annoy him, he can't work with them

ironically, he's a bit more susceptible to the elements because of this, as their line of work exposes the doctor to germs he entirely avoided before

he almost always hides it from the other mercs if he's under the weather, he feels idiotic that he can't fix it due to it being such a trivial, non-life-threatening thing

literally, heavy has had to carry him over his shoulder to bed

"stubborn doktor needs rest"

Sniper

has gotten very good at stifling his sneezes into oblivion due to the stealth his job requires, though it has given away his position once or twice when he wasn't able to

he can make his sneezes silent, though it is painful

when he does let them out it gives everyone around a bit of a scare to hear such a loud sound coming from the usually quiet man

Spy

similar to sniper, his job requires silence and stealth, so he is used to stifling his sneezes into oblivion when necessary

has very rough sounding sneezes

kind of an "eeshh'oo" sound??

Very vocal, which he greatly dislikes because it has outted him on the job on more than one occasion if he wasn't able to stifle it quickly or well enough

the "ehh" bit and build up of the sneeze is especially vocal

[hitchyvampyre]

Any headcanons about TF2 sneezes? :⁰

Ah, yes, TF2…one of my not so secret loves! I must say, this is a fantastic ask to come back to!

Scout:

He has a pretty standard sneeze - one or two into the back of the hand.

However, covering or stifling isn’t in his vocabulary, which means that his sneezes can get pretty loud if it’s been coming for a while. He is also very vocal, no matter how much he needs to sneeze.

He’s also the kind of person that will commentate on his sneeze, both before and after.

“H-hold on, I’m gonna - HTCH’CHOO!”

“Snf! Ugh, I’ve been waitin’ for that all day.”

He’s not allergic to anything in particular, but his number one reason for sneezing is all the dust, dirt, and sand that’s kicked up during a mission.

Scout has a great sense of smell - just like his dad - so strong perfumes and spices bothers his nose more than he’d like to admit.

His sneezes become even more wet when he’s sick, which he cleans up with the bottom or collar of his shirt instead.

Because his skin is so pale, his nose and ears become dark red when he’s come down with a cold.

When it comes to other people’s sneezes, he was raised to say “bless ya” so he often does without even thinking about it.

However, it’s often followed up by teasing, especially if it’s Spy.

“Aw, gross!” is usually his go-to.

Heavy:

You would think that such a big guy would have a huge sneeze, and you may be right.

However, Heavy makes it a point to not fully sneeze any chance he can.

This leads to his sneezes usually sounding more like he’s being strangled.

He also religiously uses his handkerchief, putting it fully over his nose and turning away before every sneeze.

After he’s finished, he blesses himself in Russian while he blows his nose.

Heavy only has one allergy, and it’s quite a strange one: ladybugs.

Luckily, with how hot it is, ladybug sightings are few and far between.

But Medic using ladybug serum for tear gas had some…not so great results for Heavy, who is often in the lab.

Because Heavy takes good care of himself, sickness is rare. When he does catch a cold, though, his sneezes grow more and more desperate and messy.

Even still, no merc has ever seen him sneeze without pinching his nose or his handkerchief firmly over his nostrils.

This means it takes him a bit longer to recover than most, as he doesn’t allow himself to release the illness.

When other people sneeze, he’ll quickly bless them. After learning more about his comrades, he has also taken to blessing them in their native languages.

He is also the mercs main caretaker, always noticing sickness first and helping the person get better. He gets almost comically fussy, worrying about the the sick merc like a mother hen.

It is also one of the many times Heavy likes to cook for the mercs, usually a hearty stew with small, round, flat “cakes”.

Soldier:

This man SCREAMS his sneezes. You can hear his nose from across the base.

However, he at least tries to sneeze in the crook of his elbow…sometimes.

He only uses tissues if he’s congested, and he never has any on-hand.

He usually wipes his nose on the back of his hand, especially on the field. However, he refuses to wipe it on his uniform - something about “wiping his nose on America”?

His biggest allergy is pollen. Growing up around a power plant doesn’t give you a whole lot of opportunities for your body to accumulate to nature. Luckily, not much blooms near the base.

However, the occasional dandelion seed or cut flowers will send him sniffling.

It’s not too difficult to tell when Soldier is getting sick - unlike his normal, unnecessarily loud sneezes, his sick sneezes are pretty quiet, but still just as harsh.

This leads most of the mercs to believe that him sneezing loudly is on purpose - honestly, it wouldn’t surprise them, since Soldier is booming in every other aspect.

His nose gets less red than the paler mercs, but it does get very swollen and painful. Not to mention extremely congested.

When other people sneeze, instead of saying the normal “bless you,” he’ll say, “God bless America!” Eh, close enough.

He refers to any time one of the mercs are sick as “sick leave” or “shore leave”.

He also has to be kept from using different “army remedies” on the sick merc - one of which is covering the chest with peanut butter and lighting it on fire.

Demo:

Due to his almost continuous drunkenness, Demo’s nose is pretty sensitive.

It tingles and buzzes when he’s tipsy, meaning that anything can set him off.

He has loud, rough sneezes, and they get louder the more alcohol is in his system.

It’s also very clear when he’s about to sneeze, as he usually has to focus all of his energy on getting it out.

A lot of mercs tease him about this, even to the point of him losing the sneeze entirely.

When he does sneeze, he uses the back of his hand to cover (as best he can), and a rag in his pocket to blow his nose.

He doesn’t have any allergies, but his nose is generally sensitive because of the alcohol he drinks.

When he catches a cold, his face becomes even more swollen the usual, and his sneezes are more forthcoming.

If he’s drunk and sick, which is usually the case, he sneezes CONSTANTLY. Anything from gunpowder to rubbing alcohol to dirt to sunlight can render him a sneezy mess.

If one of the mercs sneeze, he usually says, “gesundheit” or “dia leat.” If someone sneezes more than twice, it’s usually accompanied with, “Don’t blow yer head off!”

If anyone comes down with a cold, you better bet that Demo will give you some good scrumpy - even against Medic’s orders.

Sniper:

Sniper has mastered the art of stifling, even to the point where his unstifled sneezes are rarely ever vocal.

If he’s trying to hold back, his sneezes are completely silent.

He usually sneezes into the crook of his arm, especially when he’s on the field and that’s the closest part of the body to his face when he’s holding a rifle.

When he’s not working, he’ll often dip the front of his hat down with every sneeze, turning away if necessary.

He also grits his teeth, making a harsh “CHHH!” sound.

He doesn’t have any allergies, but he does have a photic sneeze response, which is one of the reasons he wears a large-brimmed hat and dark sunglasses.

When he’s ill - which is pretty rare - his nostrils are so slender that, though he can stifle his sneezes pretty easily, he sniffles relentlessly.

This means that his nose is often irritated and red if he catches a cold, both from rubbing it with his finger and the tissues he keeps on hand.

When someone sneezes around him, he’s usually in the chorus of “bless yous”. He doesn’t usually pay too much attention unless it sounds like someone is getting sick.

Since Sniper hates catching colds, or any other illness, he avoids sick mercs like the literal plague. He has been known to take revenge on people he suspects had gotten him sick.

Medic:

Medic, for all his terrifying traits, has an almost comical sneeze.

It’s higher pitched, and usually come in multiples, each one getting higher than the last.

Heavy teases him for it often, but only good-naturedly as he offers him a handkerchief.

Medic himself keeps tissues in his pockets, but often forgets to replace them, meaning that he usually just has a pocket full of used ones.

If he doesn’t have a tissue, the crook of his arm works just fine. Or inside of a surgical mask.

He has a ferocious allergy to cats - one of the many reasons he doesn’t like them - and just being near one will cause several sneezing fits. When Scout found a stray kitten and decided to keep it in the lab, you can guess how well that went.

Medic gets sick every year along with the rest of the mercs (the yearly “Merc Flu” as they call it), and would usually ignore his symptoms.

However, it’s gotten to the point where he takes sick days immediately - not because he isn’t willing to risk his health, but because Heavy would throttle him.

He gets very, very red in the cheeks, ears, and nose when he’s sick, and it’s one of the only times he wears a mask.

When someone else sneezes, he usually says, “gesundheit” or “salut”. He can also usually tell with one sneeze whether or not they need to stop by the lab.

When mercs are sick, they are usually sent to the lab to quarantine, sleeping on a cot in the sick bay. Medic will usually take up his knitting hobby or read so that he won’t wake them up with experiments, and they’ll be available if needed.

Pyro:

Because of the mask they wear, Pyro doesn’t sneeze very often.

But whether a bit of hair tickles their nostrils or a speck of dust makes it through their mask, when they sneeze, it’s a doozy.

It’s very loud, very wet, and very messy.

They usually have to take their mask off to clean afterwards.

However, most of the time, things like allergies don’t bother them, as the mask protects them from most pathogens.

This also goes for illnesses - most of the time. On the off-chance that Pyro does get sick, there is an entire protocol dedicated to such an event.

Pyro will stay in their room, not the sick bay. No one will come in, as they are likely to be unmasked. A whole week will be set aside for their recovery.

When someone else sneezes, Pyro mumbled their blessings. Or, well, something. No one is quite sure what they say after someone sneezes.

Because of their mask, they are very handy in the lab with Medic if someone is ill. However, they never take direct care of a patient - imagine looking up and seeing a gas mask stare back at you!

Engineer:

His sneezes are very vocal, both before, during, and after.

Before a sneeze, even if he’s alone, he’ll say, “‘Scuse me-!”

Even though he isn’t particularly loud, Engie’s sneezes are very distinct, with a jump near the end: “hhhh’tchIEW!”

And afterwards, he’ll usually say, “Phew!” or “Sorry ‘bout that.”

Because he’s worked in dusty, dark, and musty places all his life, Engie doesn’t have any major allergies.

The closest thing is when he sneezes after opening a new bottle of oil or any other strong-smelling chemical.

However, he does get sick just as much as the rest of the mercs, if not more.

The reason is that he’s one of the more willing people to get near sick people, especially if they need his help.

One day he helps Scout get to the sick bay, the next, he’s sniffling and sneezing in the cot next to him!

He always blesses people when they sneeze. He usually has the loudest, “Bless ya!” out of everyone.

And if anyone is sick, he’d take the shirt off his back just so they could use it as a handkerchief. Is it any wonder he’s usually one of the first people sick?

Spy:

Like Sniper, Spy is a master stifler. If you aren’t paying close attention to him, you might wonder if he ever sneezes at all.

He usually grimaces, wrinkles his nose, and squeezes his eyes shut, only moving slightly.

He also always keeps a handkerchief handy in case he needs to get rid of any evidence.

Spy, like his son, has a fantastic sense of smell. This is useful in espionage, but terrible for allergies.

If a perfume is too strong, a wine too potent, a powder too fine, he’ll have a very quick reaction.

But, due to his extensive training and experience, he is very good at hiding this fact.

Almost like a pet bird, Medic needs to keep a special eye on Spy when it comes to illness.

The details of his sickness are so minute that most won’t even notice - a slight nasal tone, fatigue, harsh swallowing. His sneezes are still controlled as ever, but his face becomes more and more pained after each one.

Usually it’s Engineer who will delicately suggest - or even deceive - that Spy take a day off. However, instead of the sick bay, Spy will spend it in his smoking room, wearing a robe and listening to old records.

Spy usually says “salut” if no one else is there to say bless you, but only out of politeness. If it’s Scout or Demo, this might be followed up with, “Disgusting.”

If he has an inkling that someone is sick, he will stay as far away from them as possible. He abhors getting sick, and will take any measures necessary to stay healthy.

However, he has been known to go into the sick bay with a cup of chamomile tea after a merc has been coughing or sneezing, hand it to them, and say, “Now please. Shut up.” However, this is the extent of his kindness

[hitchyvampyre]

aoaoa! can i get an art with Medic (Tf2) sneezing? please! 👉👈😫✨✨

This turned into a doodle page where I subjected my favorite German doctor to all the wonderful parts of being sick.

The problem is that, like the birds he so enjoys, it’s very difficult to tell when Medic is sick. He mostly just looks angry, so everyone stays away when he needs his teammates most. Luckily, Heavy knows better than that.

Since he also has the context of seeing people be blown to pieces, he considers anything below that small potatoes. Including his hacking cough and triple digit fever.

(Forgive the constant style shift…I drew this over a couple days.)

#omg… been on a tf2 kick recently

[hitchyvampyre]

Still thinking about the human and their alien buddy,,,

H: huh...hIH....Hih-hhUH’szcHEW-

A, startled: Oh my stars!

H, rubbing their nose: 'Scuse me.

A: I forgot you guys did that...

#CUTE CUTE CUTE

[hitchyvampyre]

forehead/tummy caress kisses>>>

just imagine: u're sick, and have a highfever. and ur body so hot and weak. and ur partner start to caress ur stomach or forehead with their cold hands, kissing and murmur sweet nothings in ur ear

MHMHMHMHM

[hitchyvampyre]

my bf and i were looking for lunch in his fridge and he turns to me and says “i thought i was gonna do the thing where i look at the sun and sneeze but i didn’t.”

IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS!!!!

he gave me the look he always does when either of us mentions sneezing and nudged me and pulled be away, before saying “does it make you flustered when i talk about sneezing in front of my parents?”

AHHH

[hitchyvampyre]

Remember how I fell into this rabbit hole some time ago? Yeah, well, I'm still in there...