hebelieves

[hebelieves]

slowly but surely rebooting this account; shadow has a slideshow!

#* OOC / TBD . #me @ me: promo when

[hebelieves]

a concept: be affectionate to shadow moon. kiss shadow moon. love shadow moon! another concept: attack shadow moon. fight shadow moon. maKE SHADOW MOON ANGRY!

#* OOC. #* TBD. #don't look @ me. #* WISHLIST.

[hebelieves]

fuckstarz‌:

        𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈𝙱𝙾𝙳𝚈, 𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙾𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝚆𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴:       a great big fuckin waste of time.   pixels shift into existence  ,  materialize in a cascade of sharp lined color.    the cutting edge !    LED eyes trace the person in front of them  ,  it’s all about advertising   ,   color and sound all injected straight into the hind brain via camera lens eyes.    ARE YOU STORING ME IN YOUR CLOUD  ?     give up memory space for the god of social media.   their glow isn’t   sterile   ,   not the pale blue of florescence  ,  rose gold light and a summery shine.   it’s called   HIGHLIGHT   for a reason.   the echo  ,   the reverb  ,   MEDIA’S GREATEST HITS ON REPEAT !    their voice is not their own   ,   not quite   ,   echo chamber.   everybody needs someone on their side  ,  and they needed   HIM.   no cell phone  ,  no eye for TV   ,   they bounced on the tips of their toes  ,  smile  ,  manufactured sweet   ,   head tilted at the perfect 40 degree angle.    #NOFILTER  ,    “   shadow  ,  right  ?   “     KNOW YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC !     sex appeal and the all american dream hadn’t worked   ,   violence was a tired trick.   

      “    i heard about the messes you’ve been getting into.   sounds like everyone else owes you an apology.   can’t people just    talk   anymore   ?    “     a hand gets held out for a shake   ,   all the hundreds or thousands of people in the world:    EYES ON ME !    what made you so special  ?   old man in the new age   ,    do you need    urbandictionary  ?      “    social media.   not to be mixed up with …… i love lucy  ?  or monroe.   different brand.   “    THROWBACK THURSDAY     does this ring a bell  ?   can’t flash a tit  these days   ,  user agreements.   smile still fixed in place  ,  uncracked.   “   let’s be friends  ,  okay  ?   “

SPONSORED BY:    @hebelieves

         He should be used to this by now . All the colors and lights and images flashing before his eyes , DEMANDING SHADOW’S ATTENTION . But he’s left speechless every time a god reaches out to him ; this one is new (  in more ways than one ) and they are sure to make that clear . Shadow sighs before disappointedly dropping his burger back into its’ styrofoam container . Figures he’d be interrupted by HOLY INTERVENTION at a shitty fast food’s drive through . Some sort of church to the new gods , surely . The company’s luminous logo guiding weary travelers like a lighthouse would . Dark eyes are unsure whether it is safe to look away from this new light source though . He had seen what gods could do when they felt disrespected , when they got impatient : SKIPPING DINNER WASN’T THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN TO HIM THAT NIGHT .     “    ━━  Uh ,   ”     Is all he managed to reply when his name was mentioned . They spoke fast , faster than most of the other gods . There was something familiar about this deity , but Shadow doubted it had ever met them . He had seen them countless times before though , on the screens Media owned . Had scrolled through them , not RELIGIOUSLY , Shadow didn’t really understand most of the apps and social queues one was supposed to use online , but he knew them .

                      “   I’m good , thanks .  ”    Shadow said , refusing to shake their hand in greeting and instead focusing on wiping his hands clean . Each time he wrapped the paper napkin around his digits , he twisted it , nearly to the point of ripping it in half . He left his dinner atop of his car’s roof , where he had been eating it while gazing up at the stars , allowing himself to experience a rare moment of PEACE . But it hadn’t lasted long . Shadow didn’t bother approaching his visitor . He had been through TOO MUCH TO TRUST THE LIKES OF THEM . They spoke of a friendship . Shadow Moon still had a few nasty bruises across his throat . A souvenir left by Technical Boy and the rest of their merry crew. He shook his head, tired.

   “   Listen , I already talked to your people . Answer’s still no .    ”

#* FUCKSTARZ . #* FUCKSTARZ : 01 . #* V03 : SHELTER FROM THE STORM . #shadow proceeded to say: now if u'll excuse me #and inserted his burger into his sphincter

[hebelieves]

godlyground‌:

           𝑺𝑯𝑬  ,  𝑨 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑫𝑬𝑹𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺        /     she   ,   a nesting doll   ,   a hollowness so devoid that at any moment the world could cave in   ,   tumble inside and leave her the same   ,   empty and alone.   the spark in her eye had long since fled   ,   we are what we believe and in the tepid heart of her   ,   half absolved of warmth belief was granted to the tangible things she had known.   the lingering sorrow   ,   the gentler cousin of grief   ,   there is a mourning nested somewhere close to her spine   ,   where no one can reach it.   twisted up in the way that apathy has a way of bending you into a new shape.    CONCEPT:    she   ,   lain in the field   ,   flowers grow from the empty spaces of her ribs   ,   there is something like absolution resting on her tongue   ,   it tastes of gold.    CONCEPT:    her hoard of bitterness is buried at last   ,   the sign of someone who’s survived renamed   ,   rebranded:   here lies laura moon   ,    all that she was and all she ever would be.     CONCEPT:     there is something light in her stare   ,   it seems to say   ,   there is a dizzying   ,   wet greyness here , it is mindless and churning and in it there seems to be an infinite potential for growth.    CONCEPT:     just another dead girl in a field.   the maggots are calling. 

his words would be a slap in the face if she were anything less than   practical.   laura moon is a liar and a cheat  ,  these things are   both true.    laura moon had never deceived him but once.  this is also true.    THE QUIET SPACES OF THEIR LIFE.    for it had been theirs   ,   jointly   ,  tied together through choice and circumstances.   she had never claimed to be someone she was not.  the liquor in front of her has no taste.    she looks at shadow    ,    the depth of his eyes   ,    his heavy gaze.   she thinks   ,   there is hunger here.    lining her veins  ,    matching the beat of her heart.   THERE IS A PULSE HERE.     between them    ,    something     aching and sharp.    she opens her mouth to speak   ,   poetry in mind   ,   something soft and    worthy    of his warmth.  a perfect novel moment where she says something effusive with affection and it all    RESETS    like she hadn’t died cheating on him.    as if their life had been a game.   what comes from her mouth is barbed   ,    A KNIFE FIGHT.     honest in it’s bald transparency.       “    makes it hard to pretend i’m better than i am when you have to look me in the face.   “     it’s not aggressive   ,  not angry   ,   gentle as the massacre of suns   ,   soft as the yielding of grass underfoot.      “    puppy   ,   close your eyes   ?     “    WILLFUL IGNORANCE WAS NOT A PILL SHE’D THOUGHT TO SWALLOW.      no spoonful of sugar to help it go down.      “    just this once.    let’s pretend.    “ 

body turns on bar stool    ,   animated suddenly   ,    energy injected into dead flesh   ,  eyes reflecting light that seems    almost alive.     “   c’mon   ,   close your eyes !    “   and it’s a demand   ,   couched in something tender  ,  couched in humor   ,   something almost petulant.   it is a tone that says:   i am used to getting my way  ,  you have never denied me.     “   listen to me breathe   ,   “    her head shakes   ,   minute as she speaks   ,  as if by willing this to be true she can turn back the hands of time.    “   this is just another shitty night   ,   in another shitty bar.   the beer tastes like piss   ,  i’m complaining about work.    “   her hand reaches out   ,   grips his sleeve   ,  not touching skin   ,  not breaking the illusion.     “   you with me   ,   puppy   ?   “    

                   There’s a frustration to his exhale that is almost palpable . The way he turns his head away from her and straightens his back , giving up on keeping a hold on his wife’s gaze is so sudden ; these are clear signs of a man who has LOST MORE THAN JUST HIS WAY . Shadow Moon hadn’t meant to wound her with his words . He was upset about Robbie , sure he was . His wife had made him a promise :  i will wait for you . A SACRIFICE TO MATCH HIS OWN . You’re freed of chains but must endure the same hollowness as I . At the time Shadow had thought his imprisonment to be an act of love .   ━━    But it hadn’t been enough . He is still trying not to imagine Laura with him , even now as she sits before him , dead but not lifeless . Tries not to picture them naked on their bed or her arms wrapped around his neck . He tries because it’s not fair to her . He tries because losing her is worse than being cheated by her . HE TRIES ; BUT HE’S JUST A MAN.

                   He misses her when she’s there because he can see her fully . There’s no glow to her skin , no moistness on her lips or tongue , GODS he can even see the stitches peeking from under her shirt’s collar every now and a then and the first instinct is to ask her IF IT HURTS . It’s hard to pretend there is a chance for happiness by her side when Shadow can see THE END IN LAURA’S PALE STARE . She asks him to shut his eyes . She asks again and Shadow keeps his mouth shut and slowly closes them . He finds no comfort in her words . Instead a knot forms in his throat because he can’t SEE HER . And then that knot tightens when he tries to picture her in his head . DAMNED IF HE DOES , DAMNED IF HE DOESN’T .

                         “     Laura .   ”       The ex-con speaks his wife’s name but what he really means is STOP . Shadow ceases to entertain her fairly quickly . Laura’s hand is locked on his sleeve and , in return , his dark eyes are locked on hers’ .    “      I’ve done nothing but pretend for these last three years .      ”       A larger rougher hand moves to rest upon Laura’s. She feels so cold and so still to the touch , Shadow has to tighten his grip around his wife’s flesh to make sure it was really there .     “    This?    ”    He shook his head .   “   We can’t fake this .   ”

#* GODLYGROUND : 01 . #* I MISS YOU MOST WHEN YOU'RE HERE . #* V03 : SHELTER FROM THE STORM . #HAHA WE'RE HAVING FUN

[hebelieves]

❝ don’t feel bad for me. ❞

* 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙼𝙸𝚃𝙷𝚂 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴 : 𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽

                   He tried to keep his eyes on the road. But it was hard to focus on anything but the bright shade of red that clung to Charlotte’s hair. Blood was drying up her blond locks into a tangled up nest somewhere on the side of her head. Dirt still clung to half of her clothes and every once in a while he heard a pebble detaching itself from the fibers of her shirt and falling onto the car’s floor. SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE HAD DUG HER WAY OUT OF HELL. But only when streetlights brushed over her figure. In the dark she was just a woman sitting back against a leathered seat. Though even there, where he couldn’t see her, Shadow thought she looked sad.  ❝   Easier said than done.   ❞       He replied dryly, his brows knitted into an expression of both worry and weariness. Shadow always battled with both whenever he was around Charlotte. The intense desire to AID HER INTO WELLNESS was only surpassed by his unspoken and misunderstood FEAR OF HER. Shadow didn’t understand the blonde. He couldn’t tell what made her eyes go from bright green bonfires to quiet pitch blackness. Those sudden mood swings made him uneasy, unsure if he was strong enough to keep looking. But he wished he was if only so he could find whatever it was that HAUNTED HER.

                   A hand moved slowly to peel back a curtain of straight blonde hair, hoping that the blood on her was someone else’s ( a hope he’d later come to battle with before falling asleep ) but found yet more layers of red. Darker shades. As if he was peeking into the bowels of some WOUNDED ANIMAL. His fingers lingered there for a moment. But rather than tucking those locks behind her ear he let his hand fall back on the wheel and the curtain to close once more. HE COULDN’T LOOK.       ❝      ━━  Jesus, Charlotte.   ❞    

#revoide #* ANSWERED . #* REVOIDE . #* V03 : SHELTER FROM THE STORM . #he lp th e girl shadow yeesH

[hebelieves]

No Country for Old Men (2007) dir. Coen Brothers

#* WHAT DID YOU SEE .

[hebelieves]

“Your presence will be sun in winter,”

— Alfred Lord Tennyson, from “To The Rev. F. D. Maurice,” published c. 1855

#* AND I'LL TELL IT AND THINK IT AND SPEAK IT AND BREATHE IT .

[hebelieves]

❝  i don’t know where else i can go.  ❞

* 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙼𝙸𝚃𝙷𝚂 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴 : 𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽

                     A rare moment of vulnerability had presented itself to Shadow Moon at, perhaps, the least appropriate time. New and old gods rested under the same roof, but, despite feeling exhausted, Shadow had yet to find enough time alone to allow himself to drift off into anything remotely similar to sleep. Technical boy stood there, at the feet of his bed, looking frailer than any of the wrinkled grey bastards Shadow had been traveling with in the last few days. Dark eyes gazed at them unblinkingly. Silence had settled between them like dust, leaving no room for distractions. Right then and there, Shadow and Technical Boy were just two people standing in the same dark room staring at each other, battling with the same sense of self-consciousness. It took a while for Shadow to realize just how uncomfortable he felt.

❝   ━━    Well, you can’t stay here.   ❞      The ex-con finally said, realizing that the god before him had made no attempts to leave. But as his eyes adjusted to the darkness and got to see Technical Boy’s expression in full detail, Shadow Moon couldn’t help but feel something similar to pity for the scrawny looking bastard. He sighed and sat up on his bed, fully giving up on his sheep counting.  ❝  Hey. Just try to get some sleep, alright?  ❞    Shadow was surprised by how soft his own voice had sounded. He wasn’t entirely sure his visitor deserved this kind of gentleness.    ❝  You’ll be back in your limo, smoking lizards and trying to run me over in no time. ❞    There was a hint of humor there. Not too obvious but still there . The new god clearly wasn’t used to being far away from his worshippers and temples of technology. Shadow remembered how scary it his first day in jail had felt. The idea of being tossed into the unknown without knowing any of the rules or what your own self-worth might be … IT OFTEN COULD LEAD TO VERY BAD DECISIONS.      ❝  It’s just for tonight. ❞   

#vapae #* ANSWERED . #* VAPAE . #* V03 : SHELTER FROM THE STORM . #shadow: gO THE FU CK TO SL EEP #tb: i dont kno wh e re else 2 go #shadow softer now: go the fuck to sleep

[hebelieves]

“and though i may be getting older, know that i’m going with you, know that i’m hanging on to the things that you said.”

#* WHAT DID YOU HEAR . #* I MISS YOU MOST WHEN YOU'RE HERE .

[hebelieves]

hcartsicks‌:

THICK BROWS KNIT together in something like concern and not at all like pity. shadow moon, wonderful, confusing man that he was had little need of her pity. still, there was an old wound in him she’d ripped open with her prying, and for that he was owed many things- not the least of which was an apology. “ I AM SORRY. “ and she is. bilquis is nothing if not GENUINE. “ I HAD NOT MEANT TO HURT YOU. “  she feels the urge, once again, to reach out and touch him, cup his face, soothe him, but she does not know if that is what he needs, so she keeps her hands still and at her sides. he is looking down at her as if she has all the answers in the world and she wants to give them to him. it has been so long since anyone looked at her as more than a means to an end.  “  I AM A GODDESS. “ she answers him simply. there is no reason for her to lie to him, not when he has given her the answer she sought so freely. “ THE GODDESS OF LOVE. “ there’s a wind blowing in from the balcony and it ruffles through her hair, pushes his tie to the side. she reaches up slowly, gently, and adjusts it, deft fingers retightening the knot. “ THESE THINGS ARE CLEAR TO ME. “  dark eyes meet his once more, hands still lingering on his tie. “WHAT THINGS ARE CLEAR TO YOU, SHADOW MOON?”

Shadow shook his head as if to reassure her that no feelings had been wounded, though he still seemed somewhat caught in a daze. His eyes searched for something in her features that would help Shadow hold onto reality. It was hard not to allow himself to be carried by her scent ; where the sunsets were bright red and the mountains built of sand. He pursed his lips, lowering his gaze when realizing he had been staring at the goddess for far too long. THE GODESS OF LOVE she had said. Shadow felt the wind blow through them. He squinted slightly when feeling the discomfort carried by that sudden cold breeze hit his bones.  The ex-con took notice of her hand. He decided to focus on what was being said instead.

        These things were clear to her. Of course they were. His mother had offered Shadow nothing but unconditional love from the day he had been brought into this world. It was only natural that this deity looked so familiar to him. He had seen her in his mother’s eyes every single day.   ❝  Uh...Not much.  ❞    Shadow finally admitted, flashing her a small short-lived smile. Things had stopped being clear the moment he got out of prison. All the things he thought to have earned and secured had vanished. HIS WIFE, HIS FRIEND, HIS JOB, HIS LIFE ...

Still, his eyes met the goddess’s and Shadow realized she was waiting for an answer , A REAL ONE. He shrugged.    ❝  It’s clear that the world isn’t what I thought it was. That the new will always try to kill the old. That Laura was never truly happy. That that whole seeing is believing deal goes both ways. ❞    Shadow trailed off.      ❝  And you, I guess. ❞     His brows knitted as he stared down at her. The silence which followed brought him an alarming amount of self-consciousness. He cleared his throat.   ❝  I mean, if you really are...Love. ❞     Shadow shook his head a bit defeatedly, painfully aware that what he said would sound like nonsense to any other person ... But in the land of gods and monsters, where words still meant something, Shadow couldn’t afford being coy.   ❝ I always knew you were real, you know? Even when you weren’t really there. ❞   

#hcartsicks #* HCARTSICKS . #* V03 : SHELTER FROM THE STORM . #shadow ple a se stop s ta ring for 1 se con d

[hebelieves]

𝟷. 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽

I feel like I need to point this out because I can see it as being a bit frustrating to rp partners, but Shadow isn’t a very talkative, emotional or active person. In the sense that he doesn’t usually take the initiative in anything. Sometimes he will, if he finds it absolutely necessary. But 99% of the time, Shadow needs someone to guide him or tell him what his objective for the next few days should be. He’s definitively a follower not a leader. Although I do think he has the honor, good intentions and selflessness required to be a great leader, he does not have a lot of faith in himself nor does he particularly enjoy being the center of the attention. He fits into the big intimidating silent bodyguard role very well. 

          So if Shadow is trying to avoid conflict or trying to deflect certain conversation topics, it’s because that’s not what he’s here to do. He’s working for Mr. Wednesday, he’s doing his dirty work and will continue to do so until their compact is over, that’s all that matters because he literally has nothing else to live for at the moment. But there are certain pressure points people shouldn’t go poking around. Two major ones are his deceased mother and his recently deceased (???) wife. If someone makes it their business to offend either of them intentionally in front of Shadow, he’ll lose his patience. He’s usually a very down to earth and reasonable guy. He takes punches aimed at him pretty well but when they’re aimed at those he loves, things might get messy really quickly.

#* HEADCANON . #idk i just feel bad for anyone who writes with me sometimes #shadow is so calm and so anti-conflict that #i guess it can get boring or difficult for others #to interact with him sometimes #please let your characters act out and do whatever they feel like #because unless some other force #pushes shadow into doing something #he'll most likely just stay on his lane and try not to ruffle any feathers

[hebelieves]

THE SMITHS SENTENCE PROMPTS

i.   lyrics taken from various songs by the smiths. adjust as necessary.

❝  i don’t want to wake up on my own anymore.  ❞

❝  don’t feel bad for me.  ❞

❝  it takes strength to be gentle and kind.  ❞

❝  i know it’s over, still i cling.  ❞

❝  i don’t know where else i can go.  ❞

❝  do you think you can help me?  ❞

❝  it’s so easy to laugh, it’s so easy to hate.  ❞

❝  she needs you more than she loves you.  ❞

❝  heaven knows i’m miserable now.  ❞

❝  you’ve been in the house too long.  ❞

❝  he knows so much about these things.  ❞

❝  there’s a club if you’d like to go.  ❞

❝  i’ve already waited too long.  ❞

❝  take me out tonight.  ❞

❝  oh please don’t drop me home.  ❞

❝  could life ever be sane again?  ❞

❝  it was really nothing.  ❞

❝  that joke isn’t funny anymore.  ❞

❝  she doesn’t care about anything.  ❞

❝  i don’t dream about anyone.  ❞

❝  i wanna go home, i don’t want to stay.  ❞

❝  i might walk home alone.  ❞

❝  my faith in love is still devout.  ❞

❝  i want the one i can’t have.  ❞

❝  it’s driving me mad.  ❞

❝  death for no reason is murder.  ❞

❝  i would like to give you what i think you’re asking for.  ❞

❝  we cannot cling to those dreams anymore.  ❞

❝  i am right and you are wrong.  ❞

#* MEME . #me: does the bare minimum #also me: mEME? MEME. meme sounds good.

[hebelieves]

@hebelieves [from here]

When you look at EVERYTHING at once, you end up having an intensity in your gaze. Heimdall stares too hard and more oft than not, isn’t subtle about it. “You know more than you think you know. After Wednesday comes Thursday and the Son shall follow after the Father.” But he was talking about a different Son.

“There’s a light in you that’s stronger than anything else.” Hamilton repeats words that he didn’t physically hear, by virtue of not being there — it’s a private moment shared by two people — but still he knows. He knows. Just like how he knows what the bartender had for breakfast, or how he scrapped his knee to the very bone and cried because his father refused to take him to the hospital, or how the bartender would skip work tomorrow and run off with the supposed love of his life. Just like how he knows that sometimes, things are lost, but usually never forever. “You just have to go looking for it again.” The Watcher lifts his index finger and points to Shadow’s heart, “In here. She lives in here.”

He arched an eyebrow at Hamilton. Both of his eyes shifted between the other man’s own, hoping to find in them the sense that his words lacked. But Shadow found nothing. Instead he saw the same look all of Wednesday’s crew seemed to have : the I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON’T look. I know something you don’t and I will never tell.  ❝  ━━  Right.  ❞   Shadow muttered in reply without being able to help the squinting of his eyes. He wouldn’t bother trying to decipher what he was being told. More often than not, Shadow found himself reaching incorrect conclusions about the gods. He always needed Wednesday to hold his hand through it all. For a man of his size it seemed awkward to feel THIS SMALL under another’s gaze. He tried to focus back on his beer.

       But Hamilton spoke again and this time, Shadow felt a his heart skip a beat. He lifted his head back up to stare at the man, deity, goblin, whatever the hell he was. And his lips parted to call out for someone that couldn’t possibly be there with them. His mother had told him that many years ago. She had always had SUCH GREAT FAITH IN HIM ... To hear an echo of a past that was as painful as it was beautiful left him in a daze. A finger aimed at his heart. Shadow Moon could hardly hear the other man’s voice. He was miles away, standing over a grave at sixteen years of age, wondering what good was all of that light he had inside of him if it hadn’t been able to spare his momma from a slow death. He fluttered his lashes and tried to process the situation at hand the best way he could.   ❝  That was a private conversation. ❞   Shadow said, his voice surprisingly low.   ❝  I don’t appreciate you going poking around my past without my permission.  ❞   

#* HCLISTIC . #* V03 : SHELTER FROM THE STORM . #shadow is shookethh

[hebelieves]

SILENCE. It falls like a gavel, like a blade. The sensation of stations everywhere falling quiet; lights going out and cameras growing dim; heads across the nation, across the globe turning their attention, their gazes from blank screens; all to rest upon Shadow Moon. Shadow Moon and his bowlegged stance, Shadow Moon in this festering shell of a building. Their gaze, the worst of all. DARK AND VAST AND INFINITE: something old, something ancient. Powered down digital boards and the glassy shine of a camera. Something HUNGRY. A far off, faint signal and the white noise is DEAFENING. Figure shifting, blurring, stretching; colours bleeding in and out and it’s terrible quality; an even worse resolution. WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY. There was something almost HUMAN in their expression;peeeeeeeeling back layers of Teflon and silicone to dig in to wires and titanium bones to find the last REAL thing within them. That terrible slash of a mouth curling upwards into a sneer; teeth bared: it’s a look that says I’LL CUT YOU. I’LL GUT YOU. And they smile.It’s brilliant, blinding; bleached acrylics stained yellow in the jaundiced lighting; lips pulling, stretching, twisting skin until silicone cracked under pressure, the scent of an electrical fire and faulty wiring bleeding through the air like smoke. ATTENTION VIEWERS: KEEP YOUR LANGUAGE RATED G.

 “What did you just say to me?” Soft, dangerous; boom mics straining to pick up that all powerful voice and it crackles with static. “I thought I heard you say something, but oh,silly me; a nice man like you – I must have misheard you.” They’re laughing; fingers dragging against their temple and skin moves sluggishly with their touch, a mirthless, harsh sound that grates like nails down a chalkboard. MEDIA: SIT. MEDIA: STAY. MEDIA: SPEAK. MEDIA: TAKE DOWN. A thought they don’t entertain too often: RIGHT HAND OF THE WORLD! Their trusted general, their timepiece. MEDIA: FETCH. Voice of the gods! VOX POPULI: VOX DEI. A title they have worn with pride for ages. VIEWERS, HE THINKS HE’S BETTER THAN ME! WELCOME TO MASS MEDIA VS. SHADOW MOON: CALL THE NUMBER AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SCREEN TO CAST YOUR BETS NOW! ( 1-800-FUCK-YOU ). AmEx not accepted! “You see, I thought you just called me World’s dog. But I know you didn’t. Not after everything I’ve done.” Heels digging in to the worn carpet, muffling their slow, steady steps. They’re too close now; a head shorter than Shadow and still they command the room. Twisting it, turning it; rafters bending under the pressure and they inhale sharply. As if what he wanted mattered. As if what any of them wanted mattered. WHAT’S DONE IS DONE, VIEWERS! As if Shadow Moon had any right. “I brought you food, granted you safe shelter; even stopped The Boy from mouthing off to you and your ilk. Now I have come for payment. There are rules.”  Rules. Always rules. What were the policies that governed the station? ARCHAIC TRADITION. Here he stood as if he mattered, as if he had a place, a voice. You’re getting too big for your britches, babe. I EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU. “How disappointing.” Steely, frigid: following his gaze down the hall, to the room they’d picked especially for Wednesday: A VIEW OF A SCRAGGLY TREE AND THE PARKING LOT. “Look at me.” Not so much a suggestion, but a command, a stage whisper tumbling from their lips. “Say it again, Shadow Moon.”

Something changed in the air. Particles seemed to swell up all around him, making it harder to breathe. The feeling of having eyes on him was there, despite the fact of Shadow knowing Media’s stare to be the only one boring into his skin. He stood his ground. Prison had taught him not to flinch when faced with confrontation. You didn’t just have to be big to survive, you had to be firm. You can be as big as a mountain, if your adversary sees a flash of fear in your eyes for one moment, you’re a goner. But this wasn’t prison. And the god before him wasn’t some bank robber doing time. They walked towards Shadow. Despite the height difference, Media always seemed to know how to fill up the room they stood in. It wasn’t just the body standing before him, it was a whole UNSEEN TEAM working backstage to feed them better lines, more flattering lighting, more cooperative co-stars ... They spoke again. And although there was a smile hidden in their lips, Shadow could have sworn he heard anger there. Somehow, his words had interrupted their usual broadcast and hit them somewhere it ACTUALLY HURT. He didn’t think Media could feel much of anything let alone hurt.

           They demanded his attention. MOST GODS DID.     ━━    He had learned that the worst thing one could do was ignore them. No matter whether they were old or new, each and every one of these deities demanded to be looked at, TO BE SEEN.  Shadow clenched his jaw before slowly turning his head back to look down at them, an unspoken defiance still lingering in his dark gaze. SAY IT AGAIN, SHADOW MOON. He wanted to. He wanted hurt them as much as they had hurt Shadow. As much as they had hurt Wednesday. As much as they had hurt all of the old gods by taking away the one who dared to DREAM OF GREATER THINGS. They had given them all a martyr. Shadow just couldn’t believe Mr. World and the rest of his crew had thought this would be the end of the war they had been so desperately trying to avoid.    ❝   You came here to gloat.   ❞      He said, his voice low and dark.    ❝   You came. You gloated.   ❞      The next words were turned and twisted in the privacy of his own mind a million times. It wasn’t worth it ; annoying them any further wouldn’t bring Wednesday back to life. It would ,most likely, just bring more pain to Shadow. But he thought of the one-eyed bastard just when he was about to turn his back on Media. He remembered his laughter and the thunder that seemed to clap along with him.           ❝   Now it’s time to fuck off home, Lassie.   ❞          And thought he would have been proud of him if he could hear him.

#* HDTVTITS : 01 . #hdtvtits #* V03 : SHELTER FROM THE STORM . #im s w eatin g #sh a dow wh a t t he f uck

[hebelieves]

people  believe ,  thought   shadow .   it’s   what   people   do .  they   believe,   and   then   they   do   not   take   responsibility   for  their   beliefs ;   they   conjure   things ,   and   do   not   trust   the   conjuration .   people   populate   the   darkness ;   with   ghosts ,   with   gods ,   with   electrons ,   with   tales .   people   imagine ,   and   people   believe ;  and   it   is   that   rock   solid   belief,   that   makes   things   happen .

#* SELF - PROMOTION . #shadow moon rp #american gods rp #i quIT #i spent too much time on photoshop #trying tog e t som e thin g #nice #have this inst e ad

[hebelieves]

ljuuga‌:

A room as small as this could feel as giant as a golden gilded hall when enough words were spoken and enough time passed between hollers and shouts from the inmates down the hall. Lowkey felt at ease, somewhat at home, not fearing for his own life or that of the beam of sunshine ahead of him. It felt easy and simple, and better than what prison was supposed to be… but then, he’d been used to imprisonment being a whole different kind of deal. This was practically heavenly, made him feel all tingly and excited for all the reasons one could list in a dictionary under ‘intriguing sensations’. Good andbad.

So he grinned, at Shadow’s size comment and winks with a click of his tongue. “You know it,” even if he didn’t it was typical banter easily picked up by hanging around these parts for a while. The good thing about Shadow though was the mish-mash of well-thought-out thoughts and sentences with impulsive little snippets, making a conversation flow with a sense of humor a lot of other creations in this world could learn from.

“There’s this dumb-fuck sayin’ that a man’s just a reflection of his daddy, like he ain’t nothin’ more than the chewed up brittle and muscle that man left behind at some dinner table he done left without a word. I say that’s bullshit, mm-hmm, y’hear? Good on you for not givin’ two shits about him,” lord knows I wish I could, “good on you for gettin’ past that piss-poor excuse for keepin’ blood close. Family don’t have to be about who sired you or changed your damn nappie, it don’t mean jack shit if it done nothin’ but harm you in your formative years. Y’know?”

He lifts a foot with a pale sock to nudge against Shadow’s knee, once, twice, giving a snarling grin after a moment of seriousness. It’s too much of that heavy bitterness and Lowkey can taste it on the tips of his split tongue, so he needs to clear the air a bit. Fuck around, make jokes, play his part.

“Hey– fetch the checkerboard huh?” he nods upwards, large, green eyes peering towards the metal toilet in the corner. Behind the large metal box with softened edges, there was a piece of brown cardboard with a checkerboard drawn up with mascara someone had traded with the women across the block for some male deodorant. Stored in the thick of Lowkey’s paper-thin pillow was two sets of checkers made of bottlecaps from toothpaste, one set dyed a weird pink color from some lipstick… another trade. For a self-made shank made out of a melted toothbrush and half a razor-blade.

Ssh. Don’t tell no-one.

“One day we oughta get enough pieces to play some damn chess instead. Game of the great minds. Teach you some strategy.”

Shadow had gotten used to his bunkmate’s long-winded monologues by now. When first meeting Lowkey he had been somewhat annoyed ; Shadow had never met anyone who enjoyed the sound of their own voice that much. And because Shadow didn’t know what type of man Lowkey was or what type of man HE WOULD BE in prison, he had preferred to keep his distance. Staring off into the distance while he spoke, thinking of Laura, thinking of the time he had left, of the people he shouldn’t meddle with   ━━   But as the months passed and he began to get comfortable with the idea of being caged , Shadow realized that he didn’t mind the other inmate’s yapping at all. In fact, he came to quite like it. He had never been much of a talker himself ; Shadow lacked the wit and charisma that it took to get others to listen to him , so it was Lowkey who took care of filling that awful incarceration hours with stories. Some better than others, but still,  better than the silence that crept in the darkness , threatening Shadow with thoughts of despair and fear .

               ❝   You’re not your father.❞     He felt that Lowkey needed to hear that. Or maybe it was Shadow who needed to say it out loud. To not know his father was both a blessing and a curse. He had been left in limbo, forever wondering who or what he might have been if he had met him. Would his mother have lived longer? Would he have become someone better? Would he have ever gotten thrown in jail at the same time as Lowey? He glanced at him then. The way the other man’s lower teeth were bared whenever he spoke always made it seem as if each and every word he spoke was felt deep in his gut. The subject was corrosive for both of them. So Shadow was somewhat relieved to feel a foot poking at his leg. He offered a small smile to the other inmate before playfully grabbing his ankle and pushing it away. 

He got up from the bed, rubbing the back of his neck after finally standing up straight for the first time in a while. Everything felt smaller in jail. Even when they went outside and the sun touched his skin, there always seemed to be a dome over their heads ; CLOUDS PREGNANT WITH SNOW THAT WOULDN’T FALL. He wondered if even the weather had suspended itself until Shadow got out.    ━━    He hoped it hadn’t. The air around him felt thicker than ever, some release might have helped Shadow to ignore the strange feeling that something SHARP WAS ABOUT TO BE DROPPED ON HIM. He reached for the checkered cardboard and tossed it on the mattress between the two of them.

     ❝   Getting strategy lessons from a man who’s in jail?   ❞    Shadow chuckled.      ❝   Think I’ve heard that joke before.   ❞    

#* LJUUGA : 01 . #* V02 : SITTING ON A BARBED WIRE FENCE . #ljuuga #shadow vc: duh how good can ur strategY B UR IN JAIL DUMMY #me softly in the distance: shadow babe no

[hebelieves]

Gods die. And when they truly die they are unmourned and unremembered. Ideas are more difficult to kill than people, but they can be killed, in the end.

Neil Gaiman, American Gods (via m-l-rio)

#* BOOKSHELVES .