heartora-blog

[heartora-blog]

heartora‌:

it’s been a hot second since i’ve needed to do this, so let’s hope i’m doing this right.  this is gonna be a long one.

WARNING FOR PHYSICAL PARENTAL ABUSE DESCRIPTION.

my name’s saki  &  i’m about to finally escape a highly physically abusive household.

before i get into the visceral details of my circumstances, i’ll start this off by saying that i’ve crowdfunded for necessities on here before.  i was tumblr user @securely,  &  you can find one of the two crowdfunding posts i made here,  ( i can’t find the original post for some reason.  WARNING:  mentions of graphic health issues  &  implied sexual assault in the linked post. )  they were highly successful  &  i was able to get all the funds necessary for all the bills we needed  &  more to live more comfortably until our circumstances changed.  though both my mother  &  i are still jobless, we miraculously have had EBT benefits for awhile now, so food matters have been comfortably covered.

having said that though, this is where it gets grisly.

despite my mother having been able to get the medical help she needed for her physical ailments, she never ended up seeking help for her mental health issues that really spiked at the time we were struggling the most, nor has she done so to this day.  as far as my knowledge goes, she has PTSD  &  is pretty moderately bipolar,  &  as stated, is not on any kind of medication or seeking out any kind of therapy.  now, a disclaimer, i’m not saying these disorders make you inherently abusive or that all people with these disorders display these harmful mannerisms.  however, my mother’s violent tendencies  &  pent-up aggression paired with her untreated mental health,  &  persistent defiance to seek help results in her being very violently verbally  &  physically abusive towards me.  any attempt to call her out on this wrongful treatment has always resulted in her accusing me of belittling her mental health  &  saying i don’t allow her to exert her symptoms, despite her consistently telling me that my own aggression  &  other symptoms as a result of my own poor mental health shouldn’t be used for harm.  this, of course, also meant that she did not ever seek any employment after she was physically recovered from the operations she’s needed, still leaving us without any money for non-food essentials, resulting in me frequently having to pickpocket to help get us by.

i was able to begrudgingly tolerate this treatment, as i was originally going to be moving to portland with my current partner in early march of this year, but her methods of abuse have now escalated from her simply using her body to now threatening me with blunt or bladed items.  that’s probably self-explanatory as to why i can no longer handle this treatment.

the good news?  i’m now going to be moved in with my boyfriend in portland around january 26th, give or take.  my travelling expenses are being paid for, so there’s no worry there.

however, i will need expenses to support myself there whilst i’m searching for work;  though i’m thankful to be moving to an area within walking distance of tons of places, so the opportunity to find employment that can cater to the needs of my own physical ailments  &  be a good outlet for helping with my mental health is plentiful.  i also need any funds to help me purchase supplies to help me pack my clothing  &  smaller belongings, such as a couple of new suitcases,  &  cover any fees necessary for that luggage.

PAYPAL:   paypal.me/otohime VENMO:  @vamqire

if you don’t want to simply donate, i’m also happy to do tarot readings in exchange for any donation!  simply just leave a message in your donations with your URL  &  i’ll reach out to you!

even signal boosting via reblogging helps immensely if you can’t spare a donation. thank you for taking the time to read this.

UPDATE:  we are now going to have me travel there on february 11th on account of the fact i’ve had a flight booked for that date since early december, as a late christmas present.

a one-way ticket could have run anywhere as high as almost $500 for being so close to the mark,  &  even with the urgency felt to get me out of my household ASAP, spending so much would definitely make living a lot harder in the future.

this also allows us both more time  &  opportunities to accumulate more funds, saves my boyfriend A LOT of money that we will definitely be needing to help me settle,  &  i will also be able to take advantage of my food stamps reloading on february 5th to buy a bunch of cheap, non-perishable food to ship out to my boyfriend’s place, which will REALLY help in the long run.

of course, please continue signal boosting via reblogging if you’re able to,  &  donating any amount if you can.  absolutely ANYTHING helps.

[heartora-blog]

it’s been a hot second since i’ve needed to do this, so let’s hope i’m doing this right.  this is gonna be a long one.

WARNING FOR PHYSICAL PARENTAL ABUSE DESCRIPTION.

my name’s saki  &  i’m about to finally escape a highly physically abusive household.

before i get into the visceral details of my circumstances, i’ll start this off by saying that i’ve crowdfunded for necessities on here before.  i was tumblr user @securely,  &  you can find one of the two crowdfunding posts i made here,  ( i can’t find the original post for some reason.  WARNING:  mentions of graphic health issues  &  implied sexual assault in the linked post. )  they were highly successful  &  i was able to get all the funds necessary for all the bills we needed  &  more to live more comfortably until our circumstances changed.  though both my mother  &  i are still jobless, we miraculously have had EBT benefits for awhile now, so food matters have been comfortably covered.

having said that though, this is where it gets grisly.

despite my mother having been able to get the medical help she needed for her physical ailments, she never ended up seeking help for her mental health issues that really spiked at the time we were struggling the most, nor has she done so to this day.  as far as my knowledge goes, she has PTSD  &  is pretty moderately bipolar,  &  as stated, is not on any kind of medication or seeking out any kind of therapy.  now, a disclaimer, i’m not saying these disorders make you inherently abusive or that all people with these disorders display these harmful mannerisms.  however, my mother’s violent tendencies  &  pent-up aggression paired with her untreated mental health,  &  persistent defiance to seek help results in her being very violently verbally  &  physically abusive towards me.  any attempt to call her out on this wrongful treatment has always resulted in her accusing me of belittling her mental health  &  saying i don’t allow her to exert her symptoms, despite her consistently telling me that my own aggression  &  other symptoms as a result of my own poor mental health shouldn’t be used for harm.  this, of course, also meant that she did not ever seek any employment after she was physically recovered from the operations she's needed, still leaving us without any money for non-food essentials, resulting in me frequently having to pickpocket to help get us by.

i was able to begrudgingly tolerate this treatment, as i was originally going to be moving to portland with my current partner in early march of this year, but her methods of abuse have now escalated from her simply using her body to now threatening me with blunt or bladed items.  that’s probably self-explanatory as to why i can no longer handle this treatment.

the good news?  i’m now going to be moved in with my boyfriend in portland around january 26th, give or take.  my travelling expenses are being paid for, so there’s no worry there.

however, i will need expenses to support myself there whilst i’m searching for work;  though i’m thankful to be moving to an area within walking distance of tons of places, so the opportunity to find employment that can cater to the needs of my own physical ailments  &  be a good outlet for helping with my mental health is plentiful.  i also need any funds to help me purchase supplies to help me pack my clothing  &  smaller belongings, such as a couple of new suitcases,  &  cover any fees necessary for that luggage.

PAYPAL:   paypal.me/otohime VENMO:  @vamqire

if you don’t want to simply donate, i’m also happy to do tarot readings in exchange for any donation!  simply just leave a message in your donations with your URL  &  i’ll reach out to you!

even signal boosting via reblogging helps immensely if you can’t spare a donation. thank you for taking the time to read this.

#donation #signal boost #crowdfunding #paypal #venmo