happy-ylime

[happy-ylime]

saying “i wouldn’t be a good parent” is a morally neutral statement and i’m sick of whenever i say it people replying “noo no you’d be a GREAT mother i know you would!!!” like… no! being a good parent requires a certain set of skills and traits and i know that i don’t have them and that’s a good thing!!! i think people should figure out if they would be good parents BEFORE having kids and maybe we’d have less shitty parents in the world! fuck!

[happy-ylime]

I feel like some people need to relearn Genre Expectations... "Man, this tragedy sucks!!! Why didn't they just do XYZ, then everything could have ended happily!!" well, then it wouldn't be a tragedy, would it. "Man, this lighthearted teen romcom is terrible, it's so sappy and unrealistic!!" Well, yeah. If it had been gritty and dark, it wouldn't have been a lighthearted romcom, would it. Is the writing actually bad or are you just trying to order a milkshake from a Home Depot

[happy-ylime]

ohhhhh I just realized the point of the fucking coffee shop AU. like, there's many points to the coffee shop AU. but...harrow in the coffee shop AU proves definitively that she would fall for gideon in any life, regardless of their relationship. no matter the circumstance - harrow would love gideon if she were nobody, if she was nothing more than a cute barista with a flirty smile. gideon, on the other hand, is quite clearly under the impression that harrow only loves her because she is her cavalier. she places being harrow's cavalier as evidence of her importance to harrow. as long as harrow accepts her as her cavalier, then she can never be nothing to harrow, because one flesh, one end.

even as kiriona, she's just waiting for the day she can swear to be harrow's cavalier again (get in line, thou big slut!). but harrow doesn't care if gideon is her cavalier at all - she loves gideon, just gideon.

[happy-ylime]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

I can’t drive. I do not have a drivers license, I never even took any drivers ed. 

For a while, as a teenager/new adult, this was very very embarrassing. It felt like everyone around me was swapping stories about their instructors and classes, they’d discuss how their driving tests went, they’d proudly announce they got their license… and I sat there quietly, couldn’t contribute anything to the conversation and when people asked me how my classes are going, I’d have to awkwardly explain that I don’t take any and then would be needled as to why. 

You may expect this post to go the „But now I am older and more confident and that’s why I’m no longer ashamed“ route, but it won’t. Because quite frankly? I do not need to be confident about it anymore - because nobody cares anymore. 

You see, back then drivers licenses were a big deal. People my age talked so much about them because my age at that time was the typical age to get one. But obviously the people my age got older alongside with me. And at my age now, people just don’t talk about drivers ed anymore. It doesn’t come up in conversations anymore. I may say that I don’t own a car and people will either go “okay” and the conversation moves on or they will go “cool” and we talk about how bad cars are for the environment. Nobody has asked me in ages if I have a drivers license, let alone demanded an explanation why I don’t have one. 

Obviously all of this has nothing to do with being lgbt+ - but it’s an example for how life can change. 

Anything that seems like a big deal now, anything that feels painful or embarrassing or isolating now, may simply not matter anymore in ten years. Your environment and circumstances will change.  The priorities of the social groups you are in will change. The groups themselves will change.

That doesn’t fix the Now or means the feelings of the Now are irrelevant. But it can be a comforting thought when you feel like it’ll never get better. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[happy-ylime]

"Harrow, I can’t keep my promise, because the entire point of me is you. You get that, right? That’s what cavaliers sign up for. There is no me without you. One flesh, one end." vs "Harrowhark, I gave you my whole life and you didn’t even want it." vs "Good. Die. Die for her...it's the only goddamm good you'll ever do her. It's all any of you knew how to give her. You could have lived for her...but you didn't know how."

[happy-ylime]

After a year of long distance, I get to giggle and kick my feet while looking at my girlfriend and kiss her nose whenever I want

#she makes me giggle #gayyyyyyy #i love my gf

[happy-ylime]

The WHOLE TIME i was reading Nona I was like “Damn Gideon is so OFF in this book, she’s acting strange” as if she hadn’t gone through all of this trauma and should be her sassy jackoff self 🤪

Hey so was ascrolling the locked tomb tag and saw a thing.

Everybody knows the list of reasons Kiriona's a big sad gay b-word when she shows up in Nona the Ninth. We've got:

• Hey so I just woke up in the corpse of my crush who sure seemed like she reciprocated my confession of love right up until she rejected my mortal sacrifice and decided she never wanted to think about me ever again

• My dead mom doesn't love me, actually, she passionately hated me and found the experience of having me both completely repugnant and horribly inconvenient

• The one thing I thought she'd given me across the veil of death i.e. my name - that was petty revenge against the guy who killed her and has nothing to do with me

• The name she did bother to give me was a not particularly funny joke about her plan to kill me immediately after my birth

• Also she's fr dead now I don't get to confront her about/unpack any of this

• Whoops I'm dead again. Totally speedran "fail my sworn oath to protect Harrowhark" this time let's relive that particular trauma

• Back again sorta and now my body is a horrific mockery of humanity meant to protect and preserve me forever because my Dad definitely asked before he did this

• Dad gave me everything I ever told myself that I wanted so now I can never earn any of it and all of it sucks actually, thanks pops

• Also he's currently in a depression spiral because his polycule imploded with a bunch of attempted and/or successful murders

• Also he's 10,000 years old and completely incapable of relating to me in any way

• Sudden onset proximity to power and influence means I can never trust anybody genuinely wants to be my friend and/or is actually attracted to me and not just sucking up to the new crown prince and heir

• Ianthe

I've read or listened to these books at least five times each and totally missed:

• Dad sure is famous for being the only person capable of performing a ressurection and he hasn't bothered to do that to me

[happy-ylime]

I fucked up so badly on this sudoku page no ones ever gonna wanna have sex with me

[happy-ylime]

divorce is so funny. like never mind

#just girlie things

[happy-ylime]

#dinner and a show

[happy-ylime]

“Ninth was my name,” said the new arrival. “Ninth was my hearth, and my homeland. Here have I come at your calling. None may return from the River unless he be bidden by blood-rite; tell me, why have I been drawn here?”

[happy-ylime]

exploring canaan house

[happy-ylime]

Gideon the Ninth, first flower of my House

[happy-ylime]

something something undone without you

[happy-ylime]

Okay wait a minute stop everything. Gideon considered herself imprisoned in Harrow's heart chapter fucking one. Shoot me into the sun.

[happy-ylime]

"The way I personally stay true to the story I started down on is to give myself permission to not teach anyone anything. I’m not writing a manual. I’m not delivering bromides. I know that a lot of people do take enormous pleasure and relief in lines or phrases or ideas from stories that ring true to their own lives, but it’s important for me that I tell a story and that I’m not writing Chicken Soup for the Necromantic Soul. It is getting harder and harder again, especially for authors from marginalised places or backgrounds, to write works where the takeaway isn’t 'this is to succour all my marginalised people'. For anyone on the female-identified axis this is especially hard because it seems to me that most books by anyone female-adjacent have an expectation that they will comfort the uncomfortable and discomfit the comfortable etc., whereas a guy can just tell an adventure story and be done with it. This ties in with an idea that I think nowadays that good art is moral and bad art is immoral: i.e. if a story is bad it actually has to be because the lessons are bad, and if a story is good it must somehow be beautiful on the moral scale. We go looking for why the art we love is moral even if the art we love is a donut. I think this is the pressure of capitalism on time – that everything has to double or triple up in benefit compared to the time we take on it: if we’re prepared to waste eight hours on a book we had better be able to tot up at the end how that book was also feeding us in some way. That’s brand time we just used.

I am writing for my younger self and it would be disgusting of me to try to teach her anything."

[happy-ylime]

I’M SORRY, were we just gonna GLOSS OVER the fact Ianthe knows SO MUCH MORE than she ever lets on in htn and ntn?? My brain completely glossed over this part and holy—