guarddogbitch

[guarddogbitch]

guy who enjoys german class a little too much: ancient slavs had words of power they used to shout mountains apart

girl who collects crystals: that's actually true as fuck

70 year old professor who sometimes calls students "comrade": faggotry is actually good, I don't have a problem with faggotry, Aristotle was a faggot, Caesar was a faggot...

guy behind me: YOOOOO check it out (pulls up beheading video on a chechen telegram previously unknown to mankind)

Professor: ...Galileo was a faggot, I think Napoleon was a faggot, Comrade Tito probably wasn't a faggot but...

[guarddogbitch]

i know this is coming from a place of like intense sexual objectification and homophobia and racism not to mention the world ending efforts of big oil but unfortunately it is so funny

[guarddogbitch]

i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.

[guarddogbitch]

it's really weird having a first dog be blind and then getting a second who can see...like how was I supposed to be prepared for this.

this creature can perceive when I put the treats up on the high shelf. or when I hide stuff behind my back. I can't fool her!! she's always watching me and she shouldn't have this much knowledge!!!

I walk around at night and I shine my flash light directly into her eyes and I'll just be standing there staring at her weird blue orbs for like 5 seconds until I realize it's probably extremely annoying to her, because she has eyes!! I'll turn on the light in the room and she gruffs and grumbles like ?? oh right!! light wakes you up!! the fuck??

[guarddogbitch]

I hate the trope of "I refuse to hit women!! [Gets decked]" cause it's boring but I do like the trope of someone in an RPG going "hey I don't wanna hit a kid that's kinda fucked up" and the kid just obliterates them

[guarddogbitch]

Finally finished this after many delays.

I was inspired to do a painting based on the pando aspen grove post that's been floating around recently.

I've also included the initial sketch I did for the character.

[guarddogbitch]

hear me out

[guarddogbitch]

dungeon yuri

[guarddogbitch]

“broken builds” this. “use the orb” that. you fools. the true best strategy to beat honour mode is to encourage safer and smarter decisions throughout your adventure by roleplaying as none other than faerun’s central authority on occupational safety and workplace accident prevention legislation

[guarddogbitch]

tbh I’ve always found it very funny that Elrond is like “there’s no point bringing Glorfindel on the quest, even though he’s a balrog-slayer. You won’t need balrog-slayers” and then thirty pages later they run into a balrog

[guarddogbitch]

Best marathon outfit

[guarddogbitch]

Ukradeno Fragile Comics: odkaz

[guarddogbitch]

[guarddogbitch]

ok lets settle it. which laios is getting the best dick rn

[guarddogbitch]

It’s kinda sad that Geralt’s intelligence is often so overlooked. Geralt who speaks multiple languages. Geralt who understands maths and can call out when someone is trying to rip him off. Geralt who attended some classes at oxenfurt. Geralt who considered becoming a sorcerer. Geralt who reads and philosophises, who always thinks deeply. Geralt is smart and competent and so much more than the people around him would ever give him credit for

[guarddogbitch]

For the last time: Mary Shelley and Lord Byron were friends. She didn't hate him. His death was a very painful loss to her. She didn't write Frankenstein because she was stuck in a house with him and he was an unbearable person. For God's sake, just read her journals and letters.

[guarddogbitch]

idk about y'all…..but im really ready for the next phase of my life to begin aka the part where im stable and secure and not worried about much