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“Do you think the movie theater employee will check under my hat for soda?”
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stole this from twitter
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Is anyone else in misery or is it just me and the guy from maroon 5
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The first people ask if your mad at them
The second people ask if your okay/ are feeling well
If you suffer from rbf (resting bitch face) you may be entitled to financial compensation
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You do not recognize the bears in the water 👀
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Sucks for y’all; I’ve seen an immunity post
“the game” is a sleeper agent activation phrase for anyone who was in middle school between 2006 and 2009 and apparently ppl any younger than that are blissfully unaware of the psychological warfare of the game
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She’s been sleeping with the line cook 👀🫢
my resplendent wife just gave birth to a pack of cigarettes
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Egg
Ok so Haumea, a dwarf planet beyond Pluto, spins so fast it gets elongated like this. This is just what it looks like. Something deeply unsettles me looking at it. Terrifying.
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tiorteD ni tihs evah t’naC
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Had a dream that I saw this ad in a paper
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You ever thought about how you were walking and it made you look like toddler on ice? Now do that while fighting an army of mutants smh 🙄
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Can’t have shit in Detroit
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*boggles eyes with happiness* thank you😭
*step step step*
ive come to give you Rat Power
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*me dieing of heat stroke*
“…babe please..”
she shines on me cos im worth it and its not my business to argue with her
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another perfect ad on this perfect website
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