grannycandy

[grannycandy]

imagine mourning the idea that your crush could ever like you back and then one night at a ball he crashes the marriage proposal you're about to receive, chases down your carriage, climbs in and gets on his knees talking about "PLEASEI I NEED HYOU SO BAD I CANNOT STOP TJIMKING OF YOU IT PLAGUES MY DREAMS I ONKY THINK OF YOU PLEASE PLEASE PELSSE PLEASE" then makes out with you, finger bangs you, and asks you to marry him

all within like half an hour . colin bridgerton needs to be in jail

[grannycandy]

[grannycandy]

[grannycandy]

Absolutely hilarious to me that the ton is gonna be speculating on why and how Penelope and Colin ended up engaged and there’s definitely gonna be some entrapment/pity rumours going around but the actual truth of it is that Colin chased a carriage down, fell to his knees and went “please please please please please please please”

[grannycandy]

Sometimes, when you play dnd, the question isn't "Is this an effective and economical use of my limited spell slots?" but rather, "Would this be really fucking funny?"

[grannycandy]

what a beautiful day to not be in high school

[grannycandy]

Republicans not wanting to fund libraries is part of their plan to make the next generation illiterate. That is why they are banning books too.

[grannycandy]

Classic Winnie the Pooh Plushies

[grannycandy]

[grannycandy]

if you say "as one does" after any phrase nobody's allowed to think you're weird anymore. cheat code bypass for all standards of social normalcy

[grannycandy]

[grannycandy]

no school ever prepared me for what would turn out to be my principal preoccupation as an adult: making sure i cook and eat all the food i bought before it goes bad

[grannycandy]

wish $20 was $20 again.... it's literally $5. if ur fucking lucky

[grannycandy]

It's dishonest work and it's a lot. And nobody needs to do it

[grannycandy]

[grannycandy]

La Nuit (before 1937)

— by Auguste Raynaud

[grannycandy]

Two Women Engaged in Sexual Intercourse in a Neoclassical Canopied Bed. Etching, ca. 1780. via JSTOR