goldhawk18

[goldhawk18]

Romantic yearning is so valid and I feel it and oh sometimes i yearn so much but you know what I love and yearn for much more? It's platonic love. I am weak for my friend putting their head on my shoulder while we wait for the bus. Weak, when my friend says hey I'm not feeling too great, can we meet up cause that would help. My heart fills with so much love when my friends tell me they thought of me because they saw something that reminded them of me. Likewise I get so excited when I see a bird cause I know that one friend really loves birds. God, I get emotional when my friend says they appreciate me. Friends hugging a little longer, a little tighter because they know you're having a tough time. Excitedly grabbing my friends arm because I found a dino plushie at ikea. Looking over at my friend at a concert and seeing them enjoy the band i recommended. Oh, the love I felt on a roadtrip where my friends fell asleep under the blanket I knitted on the back seat. My friends are everything to me. I'd move mountains or burn down the world for these people. I would not be alive without them. And I don't know how to express it properly. Sometimes I look at them and I want to shake them and scream I love you I love you I love you so much. And when I'm at home by myself what I really yearn for isn't romantic, it's my friends laughter. It's their head on my shoulder. It's friendship.

[goldhawk18]

do any of my friends know the love I carry in every word i say to them. When I add too many words, drag on a joke that’s over, when I message them despite the fact the conversation barely ended five minutes ago? every word i speak is an intimacy that’s laced with outright adoration for them as people and all the little details that make them who they are. Do you know I love you? Do y’all know how much of you I try to commit to memory? How much I try to make you smile? do y’all know the love I feel for you?

[goldhawk18]

Just so y'all know I am a hugger. A platonic lover. An affectionate beast. If you give me the opportunity and consent you will be hugged. There is no situation where I will ever not want a hug. Platonic physical contact my beloved.

[goldhawk18]

[JUST FRIENDS]

Enjoy the first 4 pages of my comic about friendship and the depth of platonic love, which I’ll be selling at the first edition of Pride In Panels this month (aspecs are you listening?)!

Find me at the San Francisco Main Library on Sunday, Feb 18th, from 12-5PM.

[goldhawk18]

legitimate fucking lifehack: discord server literally just for yourself to keep track of stuff over devices. links. reminders and checklists. all neatly divided into categories. search function and dates. why didnt i do this earlier oh my god.

[goldhawk18]

"Old friend" is a gayass thing to call someone

[goldhawk18]

One of my closest friends I aroace, and he's talked to me about the experience of being made to feel like he's missing out on something or getting left behind in a way when his loved ones enter romantic relationships. But it really hit home for me how much he deals with and expects this recently when I started dating someone new after being single for a few months and I wanted to share.

During the months I was single, we got a lot closer and we both relied on each other more to have our needs for love fulfilled. For example, we both have physical touch as a primary love language, so we did a lot of platonic physical affection and cuddling. We became main supports in each other's lives even more than before. But the day I told my friend about my new partner and my friend met him, he seemed to kind of instantly back off a bit. He and my partner get along really, really well too. He mentioned that he didnt expect my partner and I to make the hour drive to visit him as often because "it's not like the nature of y'alls relationship". I'm having difficulty explaining, but it was apparent that my friend expected to be taking a back seat to this new relationship in my life despite the fact that I know my friend way better and that broke my heart a bit. I immediately thought, how many times has he had to deal with that? How many beloved friends has he lost to this situation? That must be so horrible to go through! I still very much consider him one of my closest supports and while I know it would never be a necessary choice I would absolutely choose him over a partner I haven't had nearly as much time with. I really want to find a way to tell him that he isn't any less of a priority to me just because I'm not single anymore and I think it's important for us alloromantics to remind our aro and aroace friends of things like that. It's even more important to stick to that statement and show them we mean it.

My aroace friends, you deserve people in your life that prioritize you and engage in the kinds of intimacy you need. You deserve just as much closeness and love as anyone else and you will find it if thats what you want. You don't deserve being put on the back burner when your loved ones get into new romantic relationships and it's really shitty that so many people do that.

[goldhawk18]

hey btw. being platonically in love is so real btw. having a silly text convo with your friend and thinking "I love you" with every message. studying together in silence and feeling the most comfortable you've been in years. having a huge cheesy grin on your face after you spend time together, or even just text for a bit. your worries becoming a little easier to bear when they hug you. worrying about them, wishing you could magically give them all the happiness in the world.

being platonically in love is one of my favourite feelings in the world, and you know what? I'm so grateful that being aspec let me experience this in full. I fucking love being on the aromantic spectrum <3

[goldhawk18]

A co-worker of mine was standing outside with me during a break from customers to share a cigarette with me, and told me about how he had lost his brother that he was close with some years ago. He told me about how they used to be in a band together with some friends, and how ever since he'd died, he hadn't played any music because he'd been too scared and anxious. I told him about how I'd lost my brother to suicide some years ago.

I went home and pulled out an old tiny wooden box my brother had given me before he'd died. I'd been using it to store guitar picks I'd collected over the years, including one guitar pick that used to be his. I haven't played the guitar since he'd died, my hands are too small to play some of the chords, so I play bass and piano instead.

I went to work the next day and gifted my brothers old guitar pick to my co-worker. I told him that it'd been sitting in a box for ten years unused, and would probably sit there for longer if I kept it there. Told him that I thought he deserved to have it, because I bet he could put it to better use than I ever would. Told him I didn't feel like it was coincidence that me and him would cross paths with each other in our lives, and that it seemed suiting that we had these similar experiences but split in two halves. That somehow, I felt like he was meant to have the guitar pick. I told him that I knew he'd not played guitar since his brother died, but that if he ever decided to play again one of these days, maybe he'd be able to honor both of our brothers by using that guitar pick.

He almost cried. He thanked me. Then he went home that night and for the first time in years he played the guitar.

I don't know what the meaning of life is or what my purpose is, but I do believe that love and human connection is one of the most important things in life. It's finding ways to tell strangers you love them and share experiences with others. I think it's all just about love.

[goldhawk18]

REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS

Too many beds

Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss

Really nice guy who hates only you

Academic rivals except it’s two teachers who compete to have the best class

Divorce of convenience

Too much communication

True hate’s kiss (only kissing your enemy can break a curse)

Dating your enemy’s sibling

Lovers to enemies

Hate at first sight

Love triangle where the two love interests get together instead

Fake amnesia

Soulmates who are fated to kill each other

Strangers to enemies

Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating

Too hot to cuddle

Love interest CEO is a himbo/bimbo who runs their company into the ground

Nursing home au

[goldhawk18]

Let's Talk About Yor

Something is going on with Yor lately. Have you noticed it too?

Even though she wasn't in every chapter of the latest big arc (Wheeler-Yuri-Twilight confrontation), the arc started with her and ended with her and I think there's a reason for that.

As I mentioned before, Yor is a very emotionally intelligent character. She surpasses Twilight on this, who struggles with his own emotions and the emotions of others too.

So the way Yor works is by becoming aware of an emotion or a change within herself and then she reflects on that. Then, things happen to her and she reflects some more about that issue or emotion, which is usually connected to the things that are happening around her.

Example: Look at the chapters leading to the cruise arc. Fiona showed up and Yor started questioning her place in the Forger family. Everything seemed to be cleared out during that same visit, but then Loid went to a tennis tournament with Fiona and Yor kept thinking about this. When the tennis challenge happened, even though Yor won, this didn't make her feel better, quite the opposite. Finally, Loid reassured her during that date in the bar, right after he got kicked on the chin.

That should have been it, right? Wrong. More things kept happening to Yor and she kept thinking about her place in the world, whether or not she should keep her assassin job until we finally get to that moment when she realizes her reason to keep on living and protecting is her family.

I get the feeling we're now at a similar point in the manga. Somehow everything keeps pointing to Yor, specifically to Yor and her relationship with Loid. Look at what's happening to Yor and tell me what you think is coming:

1.That chat with her office friends about gripes, marriage and welcome home kisses.

2.The welcome home kiss that never happened when she got home.

3."The fight" she had with Loid, or more specifically: thinking about her husband while he was shot by Yuri. (Those sad eyes said a lot!).

4.That honest talk she had with Twilight where she tells him she wants to take care of him.

5.Her chat with Yuri, where her brother asked her if she loves Loid.

6.Meeting the Authens, a real marriage, and seeing them kiss. (The Authens' Theory here.)

See what I mean? If we take into consideration the way Yor grows as a character and the way she realizes things, then where is this heading?

It's clear Yor is about to realize she has feelings for Loid!

The way the story keeps pointing at a kiss with giant arrows is not a coincidence. For Yor, who is inexperienced, a kiss would mean true love and a real marriage (which is what she wants). If the almost kiss didn't happen at the beginning of the story (when Yuri visited) is because back then, the marriage wasn't real. Maybe they liked each other and a little more, but they had just met.

Now about the first twiyor kiss...we'll you can read my theory on that here. And I'd like to add a little more...

I know I said I wanted it to happen in the movie, but I admit I was being waaaay too optimistic about it. Sadly, I don't think it'll happen in the movie. Like some of you mentioned, that moment belongs to the manga and I agree.

However, all that is happening with Yor is leading to that kiss. I still believe she'll be the one who takes that step and will be the one who kisses Twilight. I insist; it's part of her character arc, which is about gaining confidence in herself, becoming a woman, and feeling worthy of love.

At this point, she's on the verge of figuring out her own feelings and after that happens, she needs to accept them and then figure out how she wants to proceed. I believe it won't be an easy task for her. Knowing Yor, she won't want to inconvenience Loid and impose her feelings on him. She also won't want to risk what she already has: her family. So it will take a while and maybe a little encouragement (maybe from the Authens?) to get to the point of actually want to act on these feelings.

But it's coming.

[goldhawk18]

I think Twilight/Loid Forger (or whatever his birth name is) is a huge romantic. I think he truly believes in love, true undying love, soul mates, family, permanence, etc. he’s just convinced himself that he isn’t capable of love or doesn’t need love because, sadly, he believes he doesn’t deserve all those things. He can’t be happy, he can’t be at peace. He has to work endlessly to save the world. He’s punishing himself by denying himself true love, happiness, and permanence (he really, really wants these things)

So what’s happening in the story is, he finds Anya and feels himself loving her and being her father, and he loves it, he loves being her dad. But he can’t have a daughter, he needs to create world peace. So he pushes back and fights against all these happy feelings.

And with Yor it’s even worse. He could be falling in love with her, true love, and he’s blown off his feet. I don’t think he’s ignorant or oblivious to what he’s feeling for her at all. Like we laugh at him and make fun of him because he’s an obtuse, oblivious spyman. But he’s actually well aware that it’s love, but he’s denying himself. Because he believes being in love with his wife, and raising a daughter with her, and being happy together forever is the most wonderful, precious thing in the world. And it’s not something he is allowed to have.

(I think if anyone is confused and oblivious about what they’re feeling and what it means, it’s actually Yor. Her feelings are more obvious to us, the audience, because she’s allowing herself to feel openly. But she is just now coming to understand that she’s falling in love.)

Like, Twilight secretly loves romantic movies and books and stuff but all along he’s thinking “Oh I’ll never feel this ‘true love’ thing they’re talking about, ima SPY.” But then he meets Yor and it’s an immediate kick in the gut, fly off a cliff, swooning music when she walks in the room, I finally belong somewhere feeling. And in the story right now we’re seeing him go through the “Oh fuck no there’s no way this can’t be happening I can’t love her I’m supposed to love spying and the shadows and being alone forever”

I mean come on, this guy right here loves romance. He loves dates with his wife. He loves love. He is trying to create a world where children don’t cry and the world is at peace and everyone is happy and in love. Except himself. He’s the sacrifice.

This right here is Twilight indulging himself. Feeling that true love feeling and relishing in it, like soaking in the sun. But then he takes two giant steps back and distances himself from her, and shuts himself off from his family. They all suffer because of it. It’s like he’s torturing himself and unknowingly hurting her in the process.

I think what needs to happen in the story eventually is his acceptance. He’s in love with her, he loves his daughter. He’s allowed to keep them and openly love them forever. He deserves it.

[goldhawk18]

[goldhawk18]

i wish there wasn’t such a stigmatized view on platonically loving people.

I can’t call people nicknames and pet names like hun and honey without them immediately assuming i have romantic interest in them.

i can’t tell my friends i love them without adding on “platonically” or shortening the phrase “ily” “love you” “love u”

i love a lot of people. i love my sister, i love my boyfriend, and i love my best friend. All different versions of love.

let us love people openly and honestly without it being seen as “making a move” or being romantically interested.

please please please stop assuming that love is strictly romantic, i promise you life becomes so much brighter and bigger when you stop keeping love strictly romantic.

[goldhawk18]

"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

[goldhawk18]

Here are some french Magical Girl/Girl Power shows that I highly recommend you to watch

Totally Spies by Marathon Media (2001)

Atomic Betty by Télé Images Kids (2004)

W.I.T.C.H by SIP Animation with the help of Jetix and France Télévisions (2004)

Tara Duncan by Moonscoop (2010)

Lolirock by Marathon Media (2014)

Miraculous Ladybug by Zagtoon (2015)

That's it 😁

[goldhawk18]

He got The Swag