gimmeurnudes

[gimmeurnudes]

Why I know something is wrong with me.

I ate half of an entire pineapple and saved the rest for the next day. Then on the very next day I realized that the pineapples where going bad... and yes I got scared that i’d forget about them(even though I LOVE pineapple), because I seem to forget about everything that’s not in front of me... I ate that other half... then immediately finished the OTHER uneaten pineapple right after eating a can of pineapple bc the can reminded me of my bad FRESH pineapple... and then I spent the night with my mouth bleeding and an inability to finish the last few bites due to the agonizing PAIN of acid

#went to the dentist soon after... let's just say she wasn't happy #I regret eating the core

[gimmeurnudes]

Here’s a question.

If you stick a fleshlight in a virgin then fuck the fleshlight...is she still virgin

#I must know #Help me

[gimmeurnudes]

I still don’t get it

me, robbing a bank: i am so so sorry for the inconvenience, i hope you don’t have to stay late for this

#Helps me understand

[gimmeurnudes]

Probably shouldn’t request anything...

request for you to not be a bitch

request denied

#(my username)

[gimmeurnudes]

Why do I have a sudden urge to put my penis in it’s mouth...

thinking about the northern stargazer ♥

#it just looks very fuckable

[gimmeurnudes]

Cats are just natures version of badass anime girls.

You gotta think about it tho...

#The more I think about it the more it matches up and now I can't not thinking about it!

[gimmeurnudes]

Trust me buddy, it’s only gonna get worse. Just wait for the Great flooding(it’ll start as a water shortage) in about 7-9 years

ok that has been enough historical events for at least the rest of the decade me thinks

[gimmeurnudes]

Ye, I got

if you’re an ADHD person reading one of my #actuallyautistic posts and wondering ‘do my experiences count for this’ the answer is basically always: ‘if you think they do, then absolutely!’

there is a huge overlap between ADHD and autistic experiences (I’m diagnosed with both). please feel free to relate however you want and add whatever tags feel relevant to you.

(also, you don’t need to have autism or ADHD to relate to my posts on those topics. my whole goal is to educate people by describing my experiences & symptoms in a relatable way. relating to autistic and adhd people is good! it is so much better than the opposite.)

[gimmeurnudes]

I already do that with everything. That is how I enjoy tumblr

read everything I type like it’s a pm seymour dub.

[gimmeurnudes]

No, seeing gaud before a post isn’t that bad. All you got do is go to your room, yell a little bit, have 3 mental breakdowns, then mentally prepare yourself for 30 minutes because you know you won’t ignore it and you will look out of curiosity but you also need to try and ensure you not visiting a therapist because of it. 

would you like to see a photo of a featherless flamingo?

#Butchu might go to a therapist anyway #We all need a therapist anyway

[gimmeurnudes]

I need this. But here’s the thing, I want a twist in it that involves another monster

I know I’ve said this before but vampires

don’t show up on camera

can fly/scale walls

immune to bullets

can break into any safe by turning into fog or some bullshit

could probably hypnotize security guards as needed

therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums

#Maybe a wearwolf #Maybe nother #Maybe maybr

[gimmeurnudes]

Or, Flordia is just space earth(hence the crazy shit that the people, which are actually aliens, do there trying to imitate us)

Earth is space Florida. We are weird random and do stupid stuff a lot.

[gimmeurnudes]

Ahh, yes cooking desert at the boosting hour(aka: the Make Bad Life Decisions Hour”). She seems like one of my kind, tell her to come back to her people...we are gathering at the sacred bread caves, to go hide in our cocoons and become ultimate hibernation beast. This is a sacred ritual to mentally prepare us fore a couple hours, I can’t do anymore it’s all I can give. And if this is not normal for her...don’t tell her that, we don’t want her

My girlfriend is the type of person to wake up at 12 in the morning and go *lip smack* "time to make banana bread". No seriously she's doing it rn and I'm frightened.

#Come to the sacredness

[gimmeurnudes]

No, you do seem a little salty tho...I don’t know ima go drink some almond milk and add it too my honey crunch and oats. 

I identify with almonds. so relatable.

#My mom doesn't get normal milk... #It's the only milk she gets #And it's unsweetend #I literally had to make homemade Mac and Cheese with american cheese slices and almond milk today #Helps me

[gimmeurnudes]

Which morning? Because my morning in 12-1pm and even after that i’m not mentally prepared for the day. Or is she up at 12:00 at night, I don’t know. It’s kinda normal to be up and cooking at that time for me. 

My girlfriend is the type of person to wake up at 12 in the morning and go *lip smack* "time to make banana bread". No seriously she's doing it rn and I'm frightened.

#my sleep schedule is messed up #It really is

[gimmeurnudes]

Paying a random person hundreds of dollars to grope me for a few minutes. 

give me a brief description of something that sounds bad until you fully explain it

#physical #It's mostly a mystery who comes to grope you too #It's like jack in the box but for who gropes you

[gimmeurnudes]

Speaking of the trolley problem, I think it shouldn’t be that known because it’s quite simple. I mean, not doing anything and letting them die although you had full ability to stop that would be the same as murdering them(I think it says something like this in the bible too). But either way you are most likley going to be murderer in your own guilt, so in that case turn that tracks so the least amount of people die and the least amount of damage is done.

I think it says a lot about society that the Trolley Problem is our most famous ethical thought experiment, and I have never once seen a version that questions why those people are tied to the tracks, or who is responsible, or how such a situation was allowed to happen in the first place.

#You won't be a murderer in my eyes.... #But I will be watching you #Just to see if your ok #and to see a little more...