gilded-moon

[gilded-moon]

in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

#this is so funny #thank you

[gilded-moon]

[gilded-moon]

This came to me in a vision

[gilded-moon]

These parallels are beginning to terrify me but also prediction for finale: commander fox spawns on tantiss and shoots echo (I think it would be silly)

[gilded-moon]

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

[gilded-moon]

I don't know what's funniest about this. The fact that Cody is clearly regretting putting Rex in charge, the fact that Rex was like LOL THIS IS GOING TO BE HILARIOUS, or that this is Domino Squad's first meeting with General Skywalker's second-in-command.

[gilded-moon]

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

[gilded-moon]

Actual roman epitaph for a dog

[gilded-moon]

We all like us some good Coruscant Guard whump where they’re abused by the Senate and the ppl and their brothers fighting on the front, but can I get epic blackmailer Fox? The guards are treated like furniture by a lot of the senate; imagine all the secrets and scandals they might here!

Really, let Fox blackmail the Senate into giving him and his brothers (even the jackass ones) rights as sentients. And then let him nap

[gilded-moon]

you are KIDS. weaponize that. waste her time.

[gilded-moon]

YES

Would anyone want a fic about commander fox getting reassigned to the front lines and fucking shit up with his men who adore him and would commit treason for their commander in a heartbeat?

[gilded-moon]

Longing (The River of Ash)

This one is for you two @ivvmell @ominouspuff cause you both chose the same palette for Fox. The vibe changed midway through so I ended up taking a lot of liberties with the execution

I probably won't be taking any new requests cause a lot have piled up and I'm not even sure I can finish the ones already there. Just a heads up

[gilded-moon]

Do you think Plo Koon's mask also has a translator inside it which makes his language understandable in basic?

Because being rather reptilian/insectoid in appearance, I assume that their main method of communication is probably screeching and clicks, rumbles and vibrations.

Also because:

Plo: ... and once Wolffe, Sinker and I give the signal, we will... *mask crackles, unintelligible screeching noises*

*Plo stops talking, adjusts his mask and tries again*

Plo: *more screeching*

Shinies: *horrified whimpering*

Plo: *sad eyes at Wolffe*

Wolffe: *rolls eyes* The General is having translation issues. What he said was 'once we give to signal, you are to advance and rendezvous with us at the marked co-ordinates'. Understood?

Plo: *gentle clicking noises*

Wolffe: And... *sighs* he says he's proud of us.

Everyone else: *stunned silence*

Plo: *soft screech*

Wolffe: *glaring at him* Really, General? Do I have... Ugh, fine. And the General says he... loves us... *blushes furiously*

Plo: *delighted clicking noises*

[gilded-moon]

Jedi-isms

What Jedi say: Emotions lead down a dark path.

What Jedi mean: Calm your tits before you hurt somebody.

What Jedi say: The Force shall reveal the time for action.

What Jedi mean: Nah.

What Jedi say: I sense darkness in you.

What Jedi mean: Hey, asshole.

What Jedi say: The Force works in mysterious ways.

What Jedi mean: That’s the worst question I’ve ever heard.

What Jedi say: I will meditate on your words.

What Jedi mean: Go fuck yourself.

[gilded-moon]

i'm conducting an experiment. everyone who's from an english speaking country state your country, regional area and what you call the following images. i need to see something

#pennsylvania usa #French fries #chips #biscuits #(the best ones) #biscuit cookies #soda #gummies #cigarettes #beanie #cotton candy

[gilded-moon]

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

[gilded-moon]

While hunting northern lights, I was told this myth about how they were created by a celestial sky fox.