george-cam-blog

[george-cam-blog]

Birthdays

I cried a lot today.

I think I’ll feel like this for a while unfortunately.

I don’t like waking up alone,

Despite what I said to you.

I’m just trying to be me

But I want to do nothing with you.

I’m feeling sorry for myself I know

But I loved you and it seems that won’t ever go.

[george-cam-blog]

Hope

I hope you find your feet

I hope you like the people you meet

I hope you find a quiet street

Where you can forget about me

[george-cam-blog]

When my worry gets the better of me

I always know I’ll say it in the end

Spurt it out like blood from a vein.

Whatever kernel of doubt arises in my head

By the end of the day it’ll be in the air.

When my worry gets the better of me

My body pulses as I lie down.

My eyes flicker, and my heart pounds

Irrational thoughts fluttering around.

So that’s why I need to say it,

Just to remove it from my head.

Purging myself of doubt

Like medicine in the words said.

And usually it’s not been worth it

I’m tired and I’m exhausted.

But if I hadn’t of said anything

Maybe it would still be true.

[george-cam-blog]

Note

Sometimes I write a note

And hope I die in the night

I can’t remember what I wrote

But its never quite right

In the mornings I wake up

But I still feel fucked

I’ll try another day

and see if I have more luck

[george-cam-blog]

Year

One year has flown by,

And I’ve cried

So many times.

Was it on a Sunday you died?

The day of rest at your bedside.

You lay withered and slow

An unhappy ending to your incredible seventy-four year show.

Tears are a funny thing you know.

The times they arrive,

Better medicine than anything prescribed.

Perpetually painful but a moment to grow.

I’ve learnt to cry when I can

And there is nothing wrong,

I’m still man when tears flow.

A month passes

and you make me hate my last name.

Tears fall beneath my glasses and

I’m filled with overwhelming shame.

I come home for winter,

Trying not to be bitter,

But the house felt empty

and the leaves were already withered.

Christmas goes by.

A shit show to say the least.

But maybe its time to breathe

and to talk and to cry some more.

I go back to the south,

and my friends save me from myself.

People with nothing to account for.

Summer’s been and gone.

I want you to know that I love you.

More than you’ll ever know.

I think about you all the time,

I don’t want to see us go.

But my mind is wrong

and maybe I’m a fool.

I hope the next year isn’t so cruel.

[george-cam-blog]

Infatuation

I think about you all the time,

That moment when it hits.

Infatuation is a rush

Like nicotine, hard to quit.

Peaking and falling

I get stuck on you

I get stuck on the idea

Of the things we could’ve been through.

I’ll sit and I wait

For that next rush.

The way it makes me feel,

A long and calming shushhhhhhhhhhhh.

I’m walking in straight lines,

Keeping quiet for the moment

But when that moment hits

Infatuation I’ll be smoking.

[george-cam-blog]

Whine

On a daily basis, I think I'm going insane

There's a big grey cloud sitting above my brain.

It won't go away

I don't want it to stay

Oh man, I hope I'll be ok.

Other days I'm lucid

Not dreaming, but less muted.

I’m a genius and I’m saturated

Less deflated and more animated.

Oh, I’m gonna be somebody!

But most of the time I’m just fine,

And this is just another whine.

So, I’ll go to bed

and rest my head

and think about tomorrow instead.

[george-cam-blog]

Endings

Where the mornings are fast,

The evenings are slow.

There is lots to do,

but nothing that lasts.

I’d rather be at the end of my day,

Than at the beginning.

Although I don’t know what I’m thinking,

Because I always cry at endings.

[george-cam-blog]

Empty Evenings

Empty Evenings

Perpetuating boredom

I cannot decide

If there is a problem

The TV talks

but I’m not listening

Consumed by my own

Dissonance and dwindling

Tonight I’ll toss and turn

Thinking about nothing

Wondering if tomorrow

I’ll actually do something

[george-cam-blog]

In My Dreams

In my dreams I can cry.

I don’t know why,  

but it leaves me unsatisfied.

My dreams 

they seem 

to bleed.

Oozing extensions of thought.

I am drifting in and out

of everything rather fraught.

In between the two,

I wish I thought like you.

One day, please take me away, 

Directionless,

it doesn’t have to make any sense.