genesisgoblin

[genesisgoblin]

this girl at uni was dressed sooo gay and then i found out she's just straight with a lesbian mom. dykebaiting is not a victimless crime 😔

[genesisgoblin]

miss swift you are not a tortured poet you are a billionaire

[genesisgoblin]

Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad

[genesisgoblin]

[genesisgoblin]

i do not understand when parents are like "okay we can go in the gift shop but no touching and we won't buy anything" like dude you are setting this kid up to have a fit. under no circumstances do they understand what you just told them. to them the sentence was "okay you can go in the heaven-like area filled with awesome toys all for you" and when you tell them they have to leave without taking any of it, they will weep like adam evicted from the garden of eden. you have fucked up now

[genesisgoblin]

im not familiar with that movie but ive heard of its homosexuality

[genesisgoblin]

headphones aren't enough. i need the song to stab me in the chest

[genesisgoblin]

venom is such a good movie. not because it's well written or anything, but because the villain is basically a slightly less evil elon musk and the hero is the saddest, grossest, most pathetic man you've ever seen in your life, and his freakish alien boyfriend, who kill a bunch of cops and have weird makeout sessions

[genesisgoblin]

exchanging headcanons and AUs with friends like

[genesisgoblin]

[genesisgoblin]

My mans been acting up lately. Should I get pregnant with him and abort the baby as protest?

im at work

[genesisgoblin]

Two moods

[genesisgoblin]

a funny thing about game development is your game can have hundreds of thousands of eyeballs on it playing it daily and yet once in a while someone messages you like "hey it seems you inadvertently gave these 2 upgrades the same flavor text" and that's the first person to bring it to your attention in the 6 years it's been in the game

[genesisgoblin]

It's important to drink a lot of fluids when you're sick so that your body has the raw materials to generate gallons of snot.

[genesisgoblin]

“how the fuck did my glasses get dirty when they’ve been on my face the entire fucking time” a biography

[genesisgoblin]

[genesisgoblin]

you guys wanna see the most accurate and blasphemous representation of the words ‘catholic shaming’?