generoustalelight

[generoustalelight]

THE-FRIED-GARLIC-EATING-MONSTERS OF BLUE STREET

It was ‘Only Time’ by Enya that created and perfected that whole scenario. Slow and whimsical, It was a dazzling cinematic masterpiece, that one could dream of. Underappreciated, emotional, raw; words to describe the mesmerizing feat that these monsters have achieved. 

They were seated adjacent with each other, a handful of fried garlic, a glass of water, turned off fluorescent light above their heads, sharing the mystic of a sunny afternoon. It was sweltering hot outside. The blue street turned hot-road mirage village. This day couldn’t be more perfect for this two monsters to share an intimate jar of overly-fried, borderline cancer inducing Allium Sativum. 

The green big-thing that is   

[generoustalelight]

I cant stop crying

2:42 Wednesday, January 13, 2021

I cant sleep, I need to may pasok pa ako mamaya. Kailangan kong bumawi ng tulog. My nieces and nephew came over to my bedroom, theyre loud and i really wanted to get sone sleep.

I was angry and im yelling at them to leave me alone. Sobrang antok na ko at ayoko na talagang magpaistorbo. Pinipilit ko na silang umalis.

Sinabi ko wag silang makulit, wag silang magulo.

My nephew a 4-year old boy stood there look me straihht in the eye and said, “bata lang kami e”

Thats true

I was dumbfounded, tumawa na lang ako ng malakas, kasi tama sya. Oo nga no. Bata lang sila. Mali ako.

Tama sya. Di ko naman kailangan sumigaw. Gusto lang din naman nilang maging bata.

Kelan ba ako tumigil maging bata? Yun na lang yung naisip ko habang naiyak at isinusulat to.

Pero kailangan ko pa ring matulog.

End.

PS Gusto ko ulit maging bata

[generoustalelight]

Of willow and wisps

His fingertips traced his lips

His wholeness

His true identity

The way he says words

And the way he stares

Through the horizon

And the never-ending glee

His sunset-colored eyes

A pair that would melt melancholy

To its inner workings

And busy beatings

Wishing and whispering

To the calming pastel skies

Like river running free

on his frail back

His hands are too brisk

To notice his lunacy

He loved him

Like florists fondness of flowers

In a bed full of scenes

And loving

And kissing

And the exchange of hearts

His substance of abuse

Is him and only him

[generoustalelight]

The Grateful

There was once a boy

Who fell in love

With himself

Repertoires of love songs

Are written and tendered

Even though above him is everything else

He

Asked the moon to shine

Asked the stars for a simple hymn

From the first few notes

The ocean whispered

An amicable song to the dusk

Where the wild things can hear

Where the lost can heal

Mesmerizing and breathtaking

His beauty is extraordinary

He

Allowed life to flow

Proceeding with

A melody of great beginnings

It envelopes and swells

Reverberating

To the heart

To the soul

To the inner cries

And to the solemn-seeking eyes

He

Prayed

His beauty reaches

Diving deep into the darkness

Deeper than the trenches of his doubts

Until the universe agreed

That he’s right

He's in love

With all that he is

Today and til the next one

He

remained in love

[generoustalelight]

Kilala ko na si Paraluman

Ilang taon rin bago ko sya makilala

Minsan tindera sa bangketa

Minsan taga-kwenta ng pera

Minsan amatyurista sa fiesta

Minsan nama’y namamalimos sa tabi ng kalsada

Iilan lang naman ang nakakakilala

Pero katakataka’y halos lahat ay nakita na siya

Namamangha sa talino at ganda

Sa kabutihan at sa tawang nakakahawa

Kaya nga’y hindi na ako nagtaka

Kilala niya ang aking tiyo at tiya

Ang aking lolo’t lola

Maging ang aking ama’t ina

Kilala niya ang mga batang

Sa bundok ng basura nakatira

Nakikita niya ang pagsikat ng labada ni aling nena

habang taimtim na nagdadasal na sana’y di makita

Ang indianong may ari ng kurtina

Kilala niya ang mga pulitikong nagpapagawa lagi ng kalsada

Tulay, poste, ditse, klasroom, upuan,

mga toda, bubong ng eskwela, pasong lisensya, at botong di nakikita

Panahon na lamang ang bibilangin

Na pati siya’y tuluyan nang gawing kolateral

Ng mga buwaka nang ina

Hindi, mali

Sa dami ng talata nakalimutan ko na ata

Dahil matagal na

Matagal na nating nakita si Paraluman

Binugaw at pinagkaitan ng laya

Biktima ng panggagahasa

Patuloy na pain ng mga halang ang bituka

Hindi siya naimik

O umiiyak

Matagal na natin siyang ipinagtabuyan

Hinayaang alipustahin ng dayuhan

At patuloy na dinuduraan

Nakakaawa

Nakakapanghina

Tunay na di mapagpalaya

Pero hanggang ngayon nga

Matindi paring palaisipan

Kung bakit ang pangalan ng ating ina

Ay paraluman

[generoustalelight]

RUSH

I feel nauseous

When you’re near

It’s like I’m addicted to you

But don’t want you here

Your voice sounds like heaven

And hearing you makes me weak

You’re the sugar rush

In my system

And the only rush that I need

You told me you don’t like me

But that's okay

You might like someone else

But that doesn’t change what we are today

Just seeing you happy

Makes me want to stay

Loving you is so easy

And there’s no other way

To see you in another light

Cause you’re just charming and sweet

And cool and so kind

You’re everything that I’m looking for except

I'm not your type

You still give me the sweet sweet rush

Even if you’re not looking

You’re probably the most beautiful person

I have ever seen

And

I just wanna be your best friend

So bad

So bad

So bad

And that’s okay

If that’s how you’ll look at me,

Because I’m so much happy

When you’re comfortable and free

That’s the utter bliss

I wouldn't miss

But that doesn’t mean

That one day

If you decided to like me

I won't like you

Because

I’m truly, crazy, mothereffin’

So in love with you

PS I wanna kiss you

[generoustalelight]

A florilegium of Eros

For Paolo,

Felicity cradles us

From birth to innocence,

Silent and soft

Meek and naive

“As they were written

—with the utmost specificity ”

then we learned our nudity

Flesh-tearing truth

Eye-opening horror

Emancipating those who've seen heaven

For heaven’s sake

“then a crazy revolt

—hard and pressing”

But deities grazed

Our genitalia

Our eyes

And our hearts

“the plume swayed in Melancholy

–slow and tamed”

yearning

Caressing

waiting

“then it's insanity”

the world fell ill

people birthed sin

One after the other

shackled to the grim

it will come to its end

trumpets will be blown

tragedy will take its form

and everyone will die

“the words will start to perish

—into the nothingness”

But from darkness

Light was bred

Chrysanthemums will bloom

In the warmth of late July

Like admiration

And utter bliss

Radiating euphoria

“This is the genesis once more”

The dusk will fall

And the nights are anew

Another chance

to live

“Eve gave existence to her last words

This is for her children

And the remnants of her sin”

the effervescence of life blessed us love

[generoustalelight]

What, misfortune

tragedy happens on everyone, regardless. be it young or old, rich or poor, male or female, godly or not. human civilization have faced a tremendous beating with all of these unfortunate events natural and man made, but what really is our misfortune?

we have progressed from being mere sack of bloods and bones to being a species that thinks and innovates. we became one of hte strongest and most resilient race there is on the face of the planet. we've fought our way through and conquered what needs to be. we've come far enough to reach the skies to actually be in space, and walk into the deepest of the ocean floors. but that doesn't exempt us from having misfortune.

i have once dreamt of the end of the world as pronounced by the bible. it was surreal. every minute of it felt like time and reality is clashing and scraping to your angry-despicable-screaming soul.

there were angels hovering, knocking and barging in on every door. they were beings without flaws, they're wearing white silk robes, hands are clung into a circle wooden shield and clutched on the other a silver sword.

i remember i was on my bed, just right outside my window is a beaming light coming from above, the sky. i looked out and was shocked by the flock of angels swarming the horizon. i am scared and riddled by anxiety. i got up, went to the most bizarre library, i was with a group of teenagers facing the end of the world with me, a nobody

[generoustalelight]

i am a lone wolf, treading on this murky forest, not looking, not seeking for a soul. guided by the scent of death, i march to the biggest feast of sorrow, the unforeseen future. fur all dirty and unspeakably horrendous, my eyes are sore from all of the poison in the air, the church is still far from the last bridge.

the trees are coming alive, they're touching the clouds and kissing the earth. crows and leeches are sharing cadavers, the insides of that reindeer are purple and red. leaps and bounds are the possibilities, that my numbed face will be healed, the cold breeze is tearing down my system, slowly by slowly eating up my sanity, rendering me weak.

i am still a lone wolf, by the time yearning for a shelter, a warm place to dwell on. i am craving for a den, where my limbs can rest and where my mind can be at ease. the forest is a hateful place, and nymphs and trolls and dire wolves are awaiting for someone to devour

[generoustalelight]

5 HOURS IN AIR CONDITIONED HELL

by Avenida Atat

1st hour

the shit-stained wall was scraping from wallpaper atop another wallpaper. miles and miles, it is hauntingly disgusting, the smell, the sight of it, the experience, the gagging vibe, and the over-all disdain of the whole room. with dim lighting it feels sad and abandoned and deafening. there are some toys lying on the floor, marrionettes in different colors, Dolls clutching chainsaw, wooden carvings of unproportionized figurines, paper foldings with hand-drawn eyes and mouths, minute green soldiers with surfboards, plastic barn animals collection and building blocks.

you'll know that something happened here, something unimaginable, inhumane, something that'll put you to sleep vomiting. the room holds some history, dark mystery hidden from the light of humanity, sealed by the heavy curtains, beige and full of moss.

it used to be a birthing spot of sin, sinners sinning their most vile sins. cardinals and youth leaders, police and global advocates, the poor and the rich, the good and the evil, they were all slaughtered here.

time is frozen.

the first hour in this room is craazy, appearing to put you on a trance. will lift your soul up and shake it until it drops dead on the floor, you'll be gasping and will be praying to the devil to help you in this god-ridden place.

it will be renovated

2nd hour

Flowers blooming in a chilly meadow has harder roots keeping

[generoustalelight]

I am happy (for once)

More than anything that is unexplained on the cosmos, i am immensely joyous of how this day turn out. It feels like I am surrounded by lovely people that do understand and do feel the complexity of my feelings, maybe not completely but they listen to what I have to say (for once), I feel understood. It is such a good feeling. I can be the best and boldest that I can be and just being supported by these amazing people, man, it feels good to have friends. With all the love that I can muster, I am very grateful, to the omnipotent and to all the people on earth, good or bad, clean or [redacted].

For once I am happy, that the sun is stll shining for another opportunity to grow and manifest the goodness and emancipate it to the bitter world. The world is the same as it is when I was a child, It is just that we just revolve to different scenarios, more serious and a lot more crazy. But, hey, I am very much thankful.

Day update:

Disgusting, I am disgusted with this day. I hate that everything will be going to its bitter- dslexic-uneventful end. Gross, Go away! This day is filled with anxiety that it causes me to fucking hate this day to its core. I hate everyone again. I dont have friends, I hate these fucking anti-climactic hooligans. Shitty day that comprises all of the things that I love that I actually started hating now.

[generoustalelight]

MANANALO RIN AKO SA LOTTO

ANIM NA NUMERO LANG ANG KAILANGAN KO

CHANNEL 4 SA TELEBISYON

TAPOS N'ON PUPUNTA AKO SA PCSO

IPAPALIT KO ANG MEDYO LUKOT, MEDYO PAGOD, MEDYO BASANG TICKET

SASAKAY AKO PA-TRAMO

MAGTATANONG SA KAKILALA KONG

NANALO DIN DAW SA LOTTO

MAGPAPASAMA SA KANYA

BIBILI NG SOFTDRINKS, PANTANGGAL UHAW

YOSI, PAMPAKALMA SA NANGINGINIG NA KALAMNAN

PAG KA-KUBRA NG PERA

TATAKBO SA PINAKAMALAPIT NA ESTASYON

MAMIMIGAY NG LIBRENG PAMASAHE SA LRT PA-CARRIEDO

KAPAG NAKAUWI NA'Y AGAD MAGIIMPAKE,

BIBISITA SA PROBINSYA

MAMIMIGAY NG PERA SA LAHAT NG MAKIKITA

WALA NA NAMAN AKONG PAMILYA

ULILA SA AMA AT INA, WALANG KAPATID, WALANG LOLO AT LOLA

PAGKATAPOS NO'Y

BABALIK NG MAYNILA

MAGRERESIGN SA TRABAHO,

MAGPAPAGAWA NG SIMBAHAN,

TUTULONG SA PAGPAPATAYO NG PAARALAN,

PAGKATAPOS N'ON HINDI KO NA ALAM

SIGURO IYON NA YON

MAMAALAM NA

MAGKUKULONG SA KWARTO

MAGPAPATIWAKAL KASI TAPOS NA

HINDI PALA TALAGA

HINDI PALA MASAYA ANG MAY SOBRANG PERA

[generoustalelight]

KOSMETIKS

TATANGGAPIN KA NA BA NG MUNDO KUNG IBA NA'NG HITSURA MO?

KAPAG PUNO NA'NG BUONG MUKHA NG KOLORETE?

KAPAG BA NAUBOS NA ANG PERA SA MAMAHALING PAMPAGANDA?

DAPAT BANG MAMUTAWI ANG GANDA NA ANGAT SA PAGIGING MABUTING TAO?

MAGAKANO BA PARA SAYO ANG RESPETO?

ANG PAGMAMAHAL NG MGA NASA PALIGID MO?

MAY HALAGA BA ANG IYONG ANYO KAPAGNAKATAGO'NG LUNGKOT?

SAPAT KA NA BA PARA SA LIPUNAN?

SAPAT NA BA ANG SARILING PAGTANGGAP?

MAHAL MO NA BA ANG SARILI MO?

HINDI BA, HINDI PA BA?

SASAPAT BA ANG PAPURI, PARA NAMAN MASABI MONG MAY NAGMAMAHAL SA IYO?

ILANG TAHI SA MUKHA ANG KAKAILANGANIN?

ILANG TUROK?

ILANG PASAK?

ILANG PAGKAKAMALI?

ILANG HINDI PAGPAPATAWAD?

ILANG KILALANG KOSMETIKS BA ANG BUBUO SA IYO?

WALA.

KAYA MAGPAHINGA KA NA

[generoustalelight]

BAWAL TUMAWID NAKAMAMATAY

HINDI BAWAL

PERO 'WAG MO DIN NAMANG GAWIN

'WAG MONG SUBUKAN

'WAG MO NANG ASAMIN

BABALA LANG YAN

PARA SA LIBU LIBONG MAGDADAAN

NAGDAAN

AT DADAAN PA LAMANG

NAKAKAMATAY ANG HINDI PAGKATUTO

AT ANG PAGSUWAY SA BATAS NA GAWA NG TAO

WALA NA NGANG BATAS NG DIYOS ANG NIRESPETO

KAYA NGA HALOS LAHAT TAYO TAKOT

TAKOT SA MGA PWEDENG MANGYARI

SA MGA NANGYAYARI

AT MANGYAYARI PA LAMANG

ANG PAGTAWID NATIN SA DI KASIGURADUHAN

ANG MAGDADALA SATIN SA KAMATAYAN

[generoustalelight]

TAO-TAO

ANG DAMI KONG PANGARAP NUNG BATA PA 'KO

MAGING PIYANISTA, TAGA-LUTO NG CARBONARA,

MAGING LEHITIMONG RAKISTA

TAGA-AYOS NG ERKON

MAGING TAGALATHALA NG MAKABAGONG PLANET OP DI EYPS,

MAGING BARBERO, SERDYON AT TAGA-GAWA NG MAPA

PINAGARAP DING MAGING SI LASTIKMAN

PARA LANG MASUBUKANG MAGING UPUAN

MAGING SI CAPTAIN BARBELL PARA MAKUHANG MODELO

PANGARAP LUMIPAD TULAD NI ICARUS

TATAKBONG KASING BILIS NI HUSAIN BOLT

MAGHAHANAP NG KAYAMANAN KATULAD NI INDIANA JONES

SISIRIN ANG KARAGATAN PAR MAHANAP ANG ATLANTIS

MAGING SI HUMAN TORCH NG FANTASTIC FOUR

AT MAGING PINAKAUNANG PINOY NA SANTO PAPA

NAALALA KO ANG LAHAT NG ITO NA PARANG KAHAPON LANG

KAHAPON, HABANG NAKANTA NG 'KUNG ANG ULAN AY SING TAMIS NG TSOKOLATE,'

KAHAPON LANG NA INOSENTE PA ANG MUNDO.

KAHAPON NA PARANG MAS MADALING SUMAYA

OO, LIBRE LANG MANGARAP.

MAARING MAGKATOTOO KUNG GUSTO

PWEDE DIN NAMANG HINDI KUNG MAGBABAGO NA NAMAN ANG ISIP MO.

[generoustalelight]

TULA

TULANG NAGAALAB

TULANG UBOD NG GALAK

TULANG NAKAKAPAGPABAGABAG

TULA NA MAY IISANG PAKAY

TULA NA PARA SA NAGHIHINTAY

TULANG PARA SA MGA NATIGANG

TULA NG MGA WALANG BALAK KUMALAS

TULA NA WALANG IWAS-IWAS

TULA NG PARA SA MAY MATIBAY NA PUSO

PATI NA ATAY, BALUN-BALUNAN AT APDO

TULA NA MAY SIMULA PERO KULANG SA WAKAS

KUMPORTABLE PERO MAPANGAHAS

TULANG PWEDENG PANG-BARKADA

TULANG ALAY SA MGA KATROPA

TULANG PWEDENG PAKANTA PAG MAY NALASING NA

TULANG PWEDENG IPANG REGALO SA BAGONG SYOTA

TULA NG MGA TAONG MAY NAHALIKAN NA

AT NANGHIHINGI NG ISA PA

TULA RIN NG MGA MAY NGITI SA LABI

TULA NG MGA TULANG PANG PAG-IBIG

TULA PARA SA PAMILYANG MAY PROBLEMA

NA VIDEOKE LANG SAPAT NA

TULA ITO NA PARA SA MGA KA-GINEBRA

KA-ALASKA

AT KA-GIN BILOG, PAMAPATANGGAL KABA

TULANG PARA SA BAYAN, PARA SA SIMBAHAN, PARA SA SANG KA-KALSADAHAN,

TULANG HINDI LANG PANG PAMILYA, PANG ISPORTS PA

TULA ITO NG LAHAT NG KABUTIHAN SA MUNDO, TABLA-TABLA, LABAS LAHAT NG BABAKAS AT PATI-PATO NA

TULA PARA SA MGA KABATA

TULA PARA SAYO, SA AKIN AT SA KANYA

TULA NATIN PARA SA MGA SUSUNOD PA

[generoustalelight]

ISANG DAANG PISO'NG KASIYAHAN

KUNG PAKIRAMDAM AY NAG-IISA

DAL'WANG BAGAY LANG ANG DAPAT IPAGALALA

TATLONG ROLYO, SA APAT NA SULOK NG KWARTO,

LIMANG BUGA KADA ANIM NA MINUTO

NAGHIHINTAY LANG NAMAN SAYO'Y PITONG PALAPAG SA IMPYERNO

WALONG PARES NG MGA MATANG MAGLILIPAD SAYO PATUNGO SA PAGKAWALA NG WISYO

SIYAM NA MGA KAMAY NA GAGAMIT SAYO'T LALAPASTANGAN,

SAMPUNG DEMONYONG NAGAABANG NA MAY MAPAGPIYESTAHAN

ULITIN NATIN SA SIMULA

SAMPUNG MGA DALIRING PAMIGTAL SA KATOTOHANAN,

SIYAM NA ULIT NA PAGBULONG NG AMA NAMI'T ABA GINOONG MARIA

WALONG ORAS NA PAGTITIMPI,

SA PALAHAW NG PITONG BOSES NA NAGPAPAALALA

'ANIM NA TAONG NAWAWALA'

"PARE, KUKUNIN MO NA BA?"

LIMANG KATAGANG MATAGAL PINAGISIPAN

APAT NG HAKBANG PARA ABUTIN ANG KASIYAHAN

TATLONG DAHILAN NG PAG-IWAS

DALAWANG DAANG NAGHIHINTAY NG PAGTAHAK.

PIPILI KA LANG NG ISA

NAKATALI NGA BA SA ISANG DAANG PISO ANG SAYA?