gaytheist-bitch

[gaytheist-bitch]

carly rae jepsen is throwing bricks at my house but what am i gonna do, stop her?

[gaytheist-bitch]

I know some people are confused about the music this season but idk I think getting fingered in a cab on the way home from a night out to a Pitbull song is relatable in any era

[gaytheist-bitch]

penelope is stronger than colin because she was able to hold all that ache in for years, meanwhile colin pined for her for weeks and was already so alcoholic and lonely and on the brink of just fully falling apart. she really might have fallen first, but boy did he fall harder. never change colin bridgerton

[gaytheist-bitch]

bitches listen, colin bought the same pastry penelope ate cause he wanted to know what her mouth tasted like in that moment: THIS IS CANON.

[gaytheist-bitch]

imagine mourning the idea that your crush could ever like you back and then one night at a ball he crashes the marriage proposal you're about to receive, chases down your carriage, climbs in and gets on his knees talking about "PLEASEI I NEED HYOU SO BAD I CANNOT STOP TJIMKING OF YOU IT PLAGUES MY DREAMS I ONKY THINK OF YOU PLEASE PLEASE PELSSE PLEASE" then makes out with you, finger bangs you, and asks you to marry him

all within like half an hour . colin bridgerton needs to be in jail

[gaytheist-bitch]

Colin: men are simple creatures, just bat your eyes and wave your fan.

Penelope: *bats her eyes and waves her fan*

Colin (sweating): Fuck she’s good.

[gaytheist-bitch]

name a sneakier mom than violet "oh you're too tired to come to the ball? what a shame, you're going to miss sweet Penelope getting engaged. well, anyway dear, feel better" bridgerton. i'll wait.

[gaytheist-bitch]

penelope is a better woman than me, i would’ve lied and said i got engaged just to see if colin would cry

[gaytheist-bitch]

say what you want about penelope but i think we should commend her for behaving pretty normally about her crush on colin. when colin got a crush on penelope he immediately descended into madness

[gaytheist-bitch]

"Oh, Penelope," he was groaning, his lips and hands growing more frantic. "Oh, Penelope. Oh, Penelope, oh—" He lifted his head. Very abruptly. "Oh, God."

"What is it?" she asked, trying to lift the back of her head from the cushion.

"We've stopped."

It took her a moment to recognize the import of this. If they'd stopped, that meant they'd most likely reached their destination, which was…her home.

"Oh, God!" She started yanking at the bodice of her gown with frantic motions. "Can't we just ask the driver to keep going?"

ROMANCING MISTER BRIDGERTON | Chapter 13

[gaytheist-bitch]

actually hilarious that colin bridgerton returned to london absolutely determined to be in his slut era. he said if there is one thing i am it is a whore. and then one (1) kiss with penelope later he was like neverMIND i am a MARRIED MAN i am MONOGAMOUS life is about LIFELONG PARTNERSHIP ACTUALLY

[gaytheist-bitch]

penelope: pretend to be loitering for sweets so no one suspects we are speaking together

colin: of course

colin 2 seconds later:

[gaytheist-bitch]

All at once everything looks different, now that I see you. - Alan Menken and Glenn Slater, "I See the Light"

[gaytheist-bitch]

[gaytheist-bitch]

BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 (PART 2)

SPOILER

(instagram cassmorann)

[gaytheist-bitch]

I honestly thought he would smooch her right then and there in front of everyone's salad for a second ngl

[gaytheist-bitch]