Tumgik
Photo
Tumblr media
East Stirlingshire of The Scottish Third Division
What a stirling effort, oh it's a pun for starters. Our good friend Put A Jumper on (is that his real name?) sent us this motherbeast of a mat. Is it a carpet you ask? Of course, a carpet isn't defined by it's size more it's purpose to cushion the under foot. Is it a football carpet? Of course it bloody is, it's a football pitch for Daddy Longlegs (only they could play in such dense carpet). East Stirlingshire are for all intensive purposes homeless. They play at Ochilview the home of Stenhousemuir and frankly I don't know where the Jumpmeister Puton took this photo but may bet is some sort of cheeky office that the The Shire have set up to sell various biscuits, Christmas logs and fine wine. To follow Jumpleton on the old Dick Twittington go to https://twitter.com/putajumperon Well done that man.
1 note · View note
Photo
Tumblr media
Keynsham Town of the Toolstation Western League Division One
Keynsham has had a checkered past and my word is has a checkered current. Hey, did you get that? Pretty funny I know. I live near Keynsham, there's an old chocolate factory I used to work in there as a fudge packer. Yeah, heard the jokes. I tolerate them but they're old like Roger Moore who tried to save the factory with his honest hands. Roger Moore was born in Stockwell so it would make sense he'd try and save a chocolate factory between Bristol and Bath. Moore of course replaced Matt Damon as Jason Bourne in Bourne & Let Die a song written by Ringo Starr. The song was chosen to open the Olympics featuring Emile Heskey and Dirk Benedict. Anyway, Keynsham. Yeah, it's alright.
1 note · View note
Photo
Tumblr media
Shotts Bon Accord of the SJFA West Premier League
Shit I've been shot! I don't fucking believe this can everybody stop getting shot?! Shut up you there gangster because we're back with a bang you bad mothers. We're across that wall again, smashed through that Romanic barrier to Shotts sandwiched between the metropolitan expanses of Glasgea and Edwardburger. Our Scottish correspondent Strong Andrew (follow him on twitter https://twitter.com/gas1883) travelled to watch the Bonnie Boys one afternoon and came across this absolute beauty! Look at the passion that this carpet holds. I feel this carpet is an illustated version of William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Sod reading a bloody book when you can look at this! It's like a late night BBC Education show from 1994 with some failed Polytechnic drama students pronouncing words incorrectly and looking at the camera when they shouldn't. Sure it's cheating but if it helps you attain the C in your English Literature coursework and opens that door to West Lancashire College in Skelmersale who gives a flying fuck?! Yeah you passed and it's cool, just like this sodding carpet. Well done Shotts! 
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Hitchin Town of the Southern League Premier Division
HIT AFTER HIT AFTER HIT-CHIN. You wait two weeks for one carpet and you get four in one massive, sexy, horny submission by our good friend https://twitter.com/#!/CynInHerts. Now our friend Cyn likes old stuff, proper old stuff. Not the war, the cool stuff like maybe black and white photos and when the Irish weren't allowed in certain establishments. These carpets can be dated back to 1865 when the first club that led to Hitchin Town was formed. The original team was called Hitchin but was renamed Hitchin Town when the club when they realised Hitchin is a town. Hitchin is best known for being the birthplace former Royal Correspondent and FHM's Sexiest Woman of the year 1983 Jennie Bond. Bond's friendship with Queen Liz 2 saw our beautiful majesty knight the town of Hitchin in 1992 renaming it Sir Hitchin. The town was stripped of the knighthood when Hitchin Town beat Bristol Rovers in the first round of the FA Cup in 1995. Anyway enough about the beautiful town of Hitchin, let's look at the carpet(s). Oooft, look at them, bloody look at them. First of all we have the amazing leafy brown carpet. We love flora on a carpet here at Carpet Towers and this weathered carpet is a total treat. The stunning mustardy brown background really sets off the beige leafies. Onto the next, it's by a turnstile, an old turnstile, things from the past, I see where you're coming from Cyn my dear. This carpet has a classic repeated diamond pattern, we've seen similar but none finish on the edge like this one and none near a lovely old clanky turnstile. It looks like it could be in a semi outside scenario which is worrying but It's a lovely terracotta colour and next to a bloody turnstile. NEXT! Remember the 1980's when everything in the future looked like Tron did a shit on it? Well this funky blue number is the 80's at its very best. More squares than a Play By The Rules Convention it's a wonderful beast. The different colours of squares are really set off by the light blue back colour. Last but not least we have the rubbish pinky bore fest. This carpet is pants, bollocks, crap but, but, but, it's the fourth of four so is brilliant. This is one hell of a submission, this is one hell of a club, and this is one hell of a post. BLOODY CARPET! 
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Queens Park of the Scottish Third Division / Scotland of UEFA & FIFA
...and we're back in Scotland, you know where the men wear skirts and everyone is ginger? A fine country, where the men are tough and the women are dressed as school boys. A good friend of Football Carpets based in Glasgow was lucky enough to go to one of the Scottish FA Cup Semi-Finals (I don't know which one, I wasn't listening) and managed to get this diamond splashed beauty. The new Hampden Park was opened in 1999 by Rod Stewart, Jackie Stewart & Moira Stewart. Rod was driven around the pitch by Jackie on the back of a flatbed truck while Moira's voice boomed over the PA. Martha Stewart was set the task of opening the now famous Hampden Park carpet by Shake 'n' Vac-ing it to with a thistle scented powder. Anyway, enough of the back ground this carpet really does show how brilliantly the Hampden redevelopment money was spent. Wonderful diamonds, wonderful colours, paint explosions within the diamonds & diamonds within diagonals. A brilliant effort by the Scots with this one, a carpet truly worthy of an international tournament. Thanks to https://twitter.com/#!/graham020 for submitting. 
2 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Prescot Cables of The Northern Premier League Division One North
Prescott Cables were formed by John Prescott and late Stereophonics drummer Stuart Cable in 1884. John and Stuart met in Morocco which, is why this carpet has Maghrebian feel to it. Now, Prescot is a fair way from Morocco and according to Hungry House there aren't any Moroccan takeaways in Prescot that said the tradition lives on. This carpet sits in the Larkhall style of carpets, red dominated with flashes of brilliance. The people of Liverpool should incredibly proud of this carpet, it's probably the city's finest achievement since Brookside. A big thanks to regular submitter https://twitter.com/#!/lawtonjoe for this one and well done Prescot Cables, John is very proud.
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Pagham of The Sussex County League Division One
Oh dear, oh deary me, what the bloody hell is this Pagham? What are you playing at? Who in their right mind would give up carpet space for what looks like wood? That said we love the gaffer tape. This carpet is blue with what looks like flecks all over. It's a delight. For a club at such a low level this carpet the carpet is a solid one, it's just unfortunate that it's wrecked by wood. Wood? Bloody wood? Stop using it football clubs? It's bad for the environment. Carpet is farmed from sustainable carpet plants and can be grown in a on a local allotment. A steady effort from the lads in Sussex by the Sea. Thanks for the submission https://twitter.com/#!/Richmond_Red. 
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Burscough of The Northern Premier League Premier Division
My word, Burscough are going to Get The Party started with this wonderful carpet. I'm pretty sure people will think this pink masterpiece is Missundaztood but There You Go. A fair few people would get in Trouble with their wives if they decided to get Burscough's wonder carpet in their front room. Actually no, sod this, Pink is awful. If it was a Kelly Clarkson coloured carpet I could go on for days but Pink? No. This carpet is heroic, really amazing. It's so bloody bright, and flowers on a football carpet are superb. This looks like someone has vomited candy floss on the floor of their Nan's house. The Linnets of course play in green, which makes a lot of sense looking at this carpet. Well done Burscough, utterly amazing. Credit for this beast goes to https://twitter.com/#!/Richard242, thanks Richie boy!
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Chester of The Northern Premier League Division One North
Champions, Champions of the North, The North of the North, The North of the North Division One. It's only Chester City, oh Chester, you're there now? Working your way back up? Back up the leagues? Back to the football league one day? Bloody hell Chester, you might not have a football league standard team yet but your carpet, your tiled badge carpet, your old badge, but still your badge, tiled, on a carpet, with a wolf, in a crown, on a carpet? Oh be still my beating heart. This is up there with some of the finest carpets you'll ever see. It's a beautiful nod to the tradition of Chester, Roman in it's class. You can just imagine men in toga's walking around chatting about the latest episode of Corinth Street (Oh fuck that's Greece), erm, nah, nothing. Seriously though, well bloody done Chester. Congratulations on your promotion, actually no sod the promotion, congratulations on your carpet. A great submission by https://twitter.com/#!/olisdadcfc.
1 note · View note
Photo
Tumblr media
Edmond Soccer Club of the Edmond Adult Soccer League
After the success of our trips to Wales and Scotland we've gone global, across the pond, to the land of the free! The USA is a country sandwiched between Mexico & Canada (The birth place of Paul Peschisolido & Bryan Adams). Football was first brought to the United States in 1975 by Pele. Pele formed the NASL for a bit of laugh with a Vinnie Jones. NASL continued for a couple of years and eventually imploded leaving many footballers homeless and hungry. Football returned to the US in 1994 when Diana Ross missed probably the most important penalty in the history of 'Soccer'. Since then the MLS has been set up and managed to attract Robbie Keane to his boyhood club. Anyway, enough of this and let's look at this wonderful barcode carpet. This carpet oozes class and is a wonderful example of line carpeting, the different line width reminds me of an early 90's Newcastle United kit. My one criticism of Edmond's rug is it does not continue the stripes all the way across, there's a clear carpet tiling. Carpet tiling is killing off the trade of carpet fitting, let's support our fitters world! Anyway, a good bit of carpet all the same and thanks to Adam Kay https://twitter.com/#!/AkAdamKay92 for submitting! 
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Ayr United of the Scottish First Division
Football Carpets took an Easter Weekend break to Scotland and decided to head down the Ayrshire coast to check out Ayr United's carpet. Unfortunately Ayr didn't seem to have a bar at the ground but they did have a fantastic club shop complete with mugs and pencil cases. Undeterred Football Carpets took a snap. Our first non-bar carpet comes in a traditional office grey standard and offered very little. You could say there was an Ayr of... oh god, I won't sorry. That said Ayr are called the Honest Men and this carpet is honest. It's not cocky, it's not sexy, it's not covered in bitchin' shapes but it's there, it's not vinyl flooring and it's Scottish. Our first Scottish carpet. Ayr, well done but the bar is set low. 
1 note · View note
Photo
Tumblr media
West Allotment Celtic of the Northern Football League Division Two
Wowser, look at this terrific beast. Looking a hell of a lot like Rupert The Bears trousers it's the carpet at West Allotment Celtic. Rupert of course was a wonderful bear and this carpet is too. Look how the red lines hug the white ones closely in the same way Adrian Mutu enjoyed time near white lines. Our first real northern carpet was submitted by https://twitter.com/#!/mogwaibosox and we hope to get more from this ground hopping rugsketeer very soon. Thanks Matt and thanks West Allotment Celtic!
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Bristol Academy of the Women's Super League
A lady carpet could be followed by a whole load of rug related puns and innuendo but we at Football Carpet Towers are true and honest folk. Well, we intended it to be that way before we saw the pattern on this carpet. We have to be honest, this carpet looks like it's covered in sperm swimming in square formations. A truly wonderful site I think you'll agree. This classy carpet with royal blue background makes use of the motif inside a pattern which, is always a delight to behold. This is currently the only purpose built carpet for girls football in the country and will be looked back at for years to come. Good effort Bristol Academy.
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Aberystwyth Town of The Welsh Premier League
You chaps, yes you, over the bridge with your dragons and leeks. In your culture do you have carpets? You do? Fantastic! Wait, you all watch rugby though don't you? You don't? Some of you watch football? Oh fantastic! We have so much in common! Our good friends at Bala Town visited Aberystwyth for a game of pel-droed Cymreig or as it's known in Wales, Welsh Football. Our first Principality carpet is a lovely explosion of colour on the coast of the Irish Sea. This carpet is beautiful and really very 90's, I could see Carlton from Fresh Prince doing a whacky dance move on it now while Wolf from Gladiators snarls at the barman. Based on a Kandinsky painting this carpet shows the class that Aber have. A fantastic carpet, a big thanks to our friends at Bala. Follow them on twitter https://twitter.com/#!/BalaTownFC
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Brislington of the Toolstation Western Premier League
Is this a look into the past? Is this your Grandmothers living room? Is this the best carpet you've ever seen? The answers to these questions are no, no and yes. Brislington have pulled out all stops to excite us at Football Towers with what can only be described as sodding brilliant. This 70's brain fuck is exactly the standard we're after. At the bar at Bris there is vinyl which we are all for, it protects the carpet from sloshy beer slops and mashed in bar snacks. This elegant carpet contains flowers, diamonds and Fleur-de-lis style twisty stuff. Seriously well done Brislington, you've out done yourself here. A wonderful carpet!
0 notes
Photo
Tumblr media
North Greenford United of the Southern League Central
A submission! A submission! What a bloody submission! North Greenford of Ealing have pulled out all the stops with this carpet, here's what our correspondent had to say...
"Went to  North Greenford Utd  for their FA Cup replay against East Thurrock Utd this season, which ended 3-0 to the visitors. It has to be said that when it comes to creatures comforts Berkeley Fields is up their with the best. Not only does it have monogrammed carpet in the bar, but it also boasts a wonderful wooden turnstile. The thing that struck me about the carpet, on the night, is why would a club without vast amounts of cash see monogrammed carpet as the best thing to devote funds to?"
North Greenford have really done a wonderful job with this carpet, badges in carpets are really, very beautiful. The badge is set off wonderfully with green and white flecks and our first blue base colour. This submission has left me excited for more wonderment from around the football globe!
Read Mr Jumpers blog on the match http://putajumperon.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/middlesex-2/
1 note · View note
Photo
Tumblr media
Bristol Rovers of League Two
Here we have our highest placed football carpet so far and it's thanks to a submission from a green man that goes by the name of Sprout. Like our vegetated friend this carpet is green. Apparently like a lot of football carpets this carpet used to be red but when it saw Larkhall's carpet on Football Carpets it turned green with envy! The green of this carpet is helped along by gold flecks and crosses giving the carpet an Australian feel. Remember guys carpets and Australia are very similar, they are both down under. It's a good carpet, maybe not the finest we'll see but like Rovers under Mark McGhee recently, steady. 
1 note · View note