frogfluff

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not anymore

used to have raging ed -> food is a coping mechanism #someonekillme

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so funny when i reach out for help nobody helps they just lie to me nobody will tell me what is wrong with me. if there was nothing wrong with me they wouldnt lie to me and they wouldnt hate me. i know they all hate me i dont blame them but why. why havent they left yet

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no one cares lol

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i thought i was able to trust my friends but i should have known that nobody actually cares enough about me to let me know how they feel or consider my feelings, why did i ever let myself get past the fact that i am unloveable. i always knew there was something wrong with me. even people who said they would defend me forever are turning their backs on me now and i am close to having no one. i dont know what i did wrong, and they dont give enough of a shit to tell me. they never have. i am getting worse by the minute, and i am a month clean but i know i wont be able to stop myself from relapsing. i want to kill myself, genuinely kill myself, for the first time in months. fuck you all

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killing myself bc my friends are hanging out eithout me and vene tjo i have covid im still so fucking jealous and they probably woulf gave done it even if i didnt have covid

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used to have raging ed -> food is a coping mechanism #someonekillme

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im more addicted to cutting than i am nicotine

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:(

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everything hurts

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when you have to rely on shitty people because theyre all you have

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why

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i have a rifle. i could do it right now. im not going to because i cant do it inside and if i go outside my grandparents will be suspicious especially if im carrying a fucking rifle. thanksgiving would have been perfect though. i know nobody would remember it if i did it on some random day, and when i die i at least want people to remember. not because i want them to feel bad, i want them to be happy that im not still taking up space.

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fuck me for ever trusting anyone

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do i care too much or does everyone not care enough

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i wish i had a real fucking blade

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i wish people wild stop pretending to care about me. it makes me feel worse than i already do and its so easy to tell they aren't being serious

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should i kms on thanksgiving