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forthesakeofmotherearth · 3 years

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How to Tell if You’ve Received a Sign ✨

Let’s face it, although it definitely feels exciting to think that you’ve been gifted a sign from the universe or any deities that you worship, not everything is a sign. In fact, most experiences aren’t a sign- but that’s not a bad thing! This just makes signs all the more special when we do receive one. Think about it: if we were sent signs from the universe or our deities all the time, they would slowly lose significance and meaning as they blended into the regular aspects of our lives. Eventually, they would no longer stand out to us and it’s possible we would stop noticing them altogether. So, don’t be discouraged if you realize that something you experienced wasn’t a sign- there will be plenty of opportunities for you to receive a genuine sign in the future when the time is right! If you’re having trouble discerning what experiences are actually signs and what’s just a coincidence, here are a few tips:

It probably was NOT a sign if…

The experience is suited to its surrounding environment- If something is likely to happen within a specific environment due to the nature of the environment, then it’s most likely not a sign, instead it’s just a result of your surroundings. For example, if you see a deer while you’re taking a walk through the woods, then that’s probably because you’re strolling through the natural habitat of a deer, not because you’re receiving a sign.

You haven’t requested a sign from the universe/your deities- If you haven’t reached out to your deities or asked the universe for a sign lately, then it’s more likely that your experience is just a coincidence. If there’s no present issue at hand that you’ve asked for help with, then there’s less explanation as to what message the sign could be carrying and too many possible meanings to examine.

You receive the experience in a way you’re not used to- Some people directly communicate to the universe/their deities that they would like to receive signs in a specific manner so that they can be sure it’s a genuine sign from their higher power. If you have done this and your experience is received in a way that’s different from the specifications you’ve asked for in a sign, then it’s more likely to be a coincidence or simply an odd experience.

The experience could have happened to anybody/is too general- Sometimes, we really need to ask ourselves if an experience is actually significant, or if it’s just a coincidence that could happen to anyone. For example, say you’re contemplating leaving a relationship and you happen to see a bird near you flying away. Is that a sign? Well, it’s not exactly specific or super significant to see a bird flying away. That could very well happen to anyone on any given day, therefore it’s likely not a sign.

You find yourself desperately trying to force meaning within your experience when there’s no true connection- It happens. At some point, we all have felt really lost in life, and as though we have no guidance. These feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can cause us to try and find meaning in our experiences when there’s no sign to be found. This is likely because, in these moments, we feel as though our lives themselves are lacking meaning, therefore we can become desperate to try and find significance in something else.

It’s likely that it WAS a sign if…

You have requested a sign from the universe/your deities- This is one of the first things you should consider when you’re trying to determine if your experience was a genuine sign! If you’ve clearly asked the universe or sent a prayer to your deities for a specific sign and you receive an experience shortly after, then it is significantly more likely to be an actual sign because it is an answer to your request rather than a random message being sent.

The experience matched the specifications you have requested- In your prayers to your deities/the universe, perhaps you have made it clear that you prefer to receive signs in a specific manner, such as asking to notice it within a certain time frame, or a specific number of times. This is usually done with the purpose of having extra ways to verify signs from the universe/your deities. Thus, if your experience matches the criteria you’ve requested, then it is significantly more likely to be a genuine sign.

There were repeated symbols within your experience- Consistent and clear repetition of specific actions, symbols, figures, meaningful numbers, or words is undeniably more meaningful than simply having one odd experience. In this case, your experience is much more likely to be a sign because the universe/your deities may be using repetition to catch and hold your attention.

The experience was highly unusual for its surrounding environment- The key element of this indicator is contrast. If the experience seems unsuited or ‘out of place’ for its environment, then it is more likely to be a sign because the specific experience is being highlighted in notable contrast to what is around you, which is another way of catching your attention.

There were specific symbols that connect to your deity- Most deities have specific symbols, figures, meaningful numbers, or words that are known to be connected to their role as a religious or spiritual figure. If your experience features key elements that tie to a deity you worship, then it is more likely to be a sign because there are specific references to your deity within your experience.

You felt an intense, distinct reaction to your experience that sparked an immediate connection- If you discover after your experience that you feel extremely certain that it is a sign, and this is paired with a distinct physical/emotional ‘gut’ feeling, then you should pay attention! This is likely your intuition telling you that this is a genuine sign.

With that said, this post isn’t meant to burst anyone’s bubble or tell you that your experience isn’t a ‘real’ sign! These are just some guidelines that I’ve created along my spiritual path that I use when I’m trying to interpret the signs and experiences I receive. If you have another set of guidelines of your own that differ from mine, that’s perfectly okay- our interpretations of spiritual experiences are allowed to have variation. You may believe an experience is a sign when I may not interpret it as such, or vice versa, and that’s cool! Don’t allow anyone to make you doubt yourself when it comes to your intuition and your gut feelings- After all, you have the deepest understanding of yourself and your spiritual path.

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forthesakeofmotherearth · 3 years

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How I Do A Tarot Reading

Disclaimer: This is all based on my experiences/path/preferences. It’s just a bit of inspiration for you new witches!

Selecting The Deck Typically I use my Rider-Waite deck as many witches do, but on occasion I use one of my other decks. You might ask yourself when you consider tarot how I know which one to use. Usually when I pick another deck it’s because of one of two things, either the deck offers something the Rider-Waite deck does not or I want to challenge myself. A Rider-Waite deck is much easier to use and connect to than other decks, so when I want to challenge myself or am feeling particularly confident in my divination.

Cleansing The Deck I typically do this by knocking on the cards with my dominant hand or holding them above a candle flame (Obviously not too close.) But you could use whatever method of cleansing things you prefer. You also don’t have to cleanse your deck before every reading and it’s really only necessary you do it regularly, whatever that means for you. I just prefer to be safe so I always cleanse it.

Shuffling I’m terrible at shuffling I will admit, but I shuffle until I feel I’m finished. Sometimes it’s once or twice, sometimes I do it a few minutes.

Laying out the cards I usually slide the cards at an angle across a flat surface so I am in view of all of them.

Selecting the cards Usually I stare at the cards, and using my intuition/ability to see energy I pick out the ones with the most intense energy. The cards I pick usually look very black, or dark blue. I pick out however many I need, without flipping them up until I have the total amount of cards I need. Then I flip them up and interpret them one at a time. Then all together, at the end in their final context.

Tips for interpretation

Practice lots As with anything, practice helps. Maybe pick one card every morning to get practice in.

Rely on only you I have said this before and I’ll say it again, with witchcraft at the end of the day you can rely on only yourself. Your morals, ideas, likes, dislikes, and of course intuition. This applies to tarot too.

Pay attention If a card falls out of the deck, pick it up. If you see the same card again and again, look into why. Maybe even ask the deck why that card always appears, or ask another form of divination.

Be specific, and realistic

Instead of “Will I fall in love?” Ask the tarot things like:

“Will I fall in love in the next (Insert amount of time)

“How will I know I am falling in love?”

“What should I look for in a partner?” “How will I meet a partner?”

Those may not be perfect examples but you get the idea.

In addition, do not ask the tarot things like “Will I die in 2 years?” Instead ask:

“Is there any harm coming to me I should be warned of?”

“Is there anything I can do to improve my health?”

Ect.

Try different methods/spreads If you experiment with different methods you’ll be more confident in the ways you approach tarot. This can be applied to most things in witchcraft. Also, have a few basic spreads you turn to depending on your needs and what you use divination for. Try different spreads, or make your own.

What about reversed cards? I personally use reversed cards, but I don’t think you have to. I usually look at reversed cards as a sister to the original card. For example, the opposite of love isn’t hate it’s indifference. I see the cards as love and hate. Not quite opposite, but almost, the negative side of something without direct opposition. People approach this different ways though.

I hope this helped you or you learned something! Enjoy! Happy divining! 💖

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forthesakeofmotherearth · 3 years

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Minor Healing Spell✨

Materials:

Lavender Incense

Blue Candle

White Candle

Rose Quartz (healing)

Light or burn the lavender

You want to smudge whatever you’re healing with the lavender.

Light the blue candle. While lighting the candle ask the element water (or whatever feels right to you) to help you with this healing spell.

Light the white candle for purification of the ailment.

Take the rose quartz and pass it through the smoke of all three (the lavender, the blue candle, and the white candle).

Take the now anointed rose quartz and rub it over the infected area. While doing this imagine the rose quartz absorbing the ailment.

After you finish be sure to thank the element water for its help and then proceed to blow out the candles in the opposite order that you lit them. Make sure to cleanse and re-charge your rose quartz for later uses.

Source: @the-witchy-cat

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forthesakeofmotherearth · 3 years

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lil tarot tip 🔮

contrary to most beliefs, you can pull for yes or no questions! here’s a short cheat sheet for when you have a question on whether you should do something ✨

wands

yes, but you’ll have to work for it!

cups

yes, it’ll come to you naturally!

pentacles

this one means it will come with a price...

swords

absolutely not!

major arcana

“good luck” and be careful

side note

get the details on your answer! pull more cards to see where you could go wrong or how you can improve the situation :) follow your intuition! remember, not everything is set in stone ✨

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forthesakeofmotherearth · 3 years

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How I Got Started In Tarot

Alright, this is a run through of the steps I took to get into tarot. This is just based on my experiences & opinion, but I hope it can help someone! DECK: • Where Do I Get One: If you have access to a metaphysical store, being able to actually see/hold the cards is always my first pick. But if you don’t, or prefer not to, ordering them online is an option to. • What Decks Are Good For Beginners: Okay you’re gonna hear this like a million times but it’s so true. RIDER WAITE DECKS ARE GOOD FOR BEGINNERS. I got 3 decks recently so I could get into tarot seriously, the Rider Waite one is significantly easier to connect with and read. Rider Waite decks are also relatively cheap. Just start with a Rider Waite deck please. • “I’m A Closeted Witch!” (Or I Just Can’t Get Tarot Decks) Have no fear, if you are a closeted witch and still wanna do tarot. A very simple and convenient option is to use playing cards, as you can probably tell from this post I have my own actual tarot decks. So I’m not super familiar with this method. As with most things, search it up and you’ll find tons of information. • Other Decks: Here’s the thing, I’ve heard what I previously said about getting a Rider Waite deck and found it to be so true that I wouldn’t advise not getting one. That being said, if you don’t want to get a Rider Waite deck to start off with for whatever reason here’s some tips on picking out decks. • The Artwork This is important because this is what you’ll be looking at. I consider it the most important thing when picking a deck, but that’s just me. I spent weeks looking at decks and their artwork before picking out the ones I got. • Look into the author Looking into the author will give you a good idea if you’re actually going to connect to this deck or not. Read about the author, why they made the deck, how long it took them, stuff like that. • Read the reviews This is a default for me, but it’s nice to keep in mind. Even if you found a deck you want in a store. Go look at the reviews online before you get it. This is another thing that will give you an idea if you will enjoy it or not. You’ll get many peoples perspectives who got the deck for many different reasons. HOW DO I USE IT: Tarot decks are used with something called a spread. A spread is a way you lay out the cards with their meaning being predetermined in a certain context. An example being a past, present, future spread. The first card is the past, the second the present, the third the future. You lay them out in a certain order, knowing the meaning of each card ahead of time, that being the predetermined context I mentioned. You can search up spreads online, some are 1 card, 3 cards, 15 cards. Start with something small when you’re starting out. There are 22 major arcana and 56 minor arcana, also referred to as the greater arcana and the lesser arcana. I refer to them as the major/minor arcana though. I’ll go through the names & categories of all the cards now, starting with the major arcana. Major Arcana: • The Magician • The High Priestess • The Empress • The Emperor • The Hierophant • The Lovers • The Chariot • Strength • The Hermit • Wheel Of Fortune • Justice • The Hanged Man • Death • Temperance • The Devil • The Tower • The Star • The Moon • The Sun • The Last Judgement • The World • The Fool The Minor Arcana: The minor arcana are divided into 4 suits, Cups, Wands, Swords & Pentacles. They go by many names but there’s always 4 minor suits, each one has their own version of a King, Queen, Knight, & Page. Example being Queen of Cups, Knight of Pentacles, ect. Then they go Ace, 2, 3, 4, all the way up to ten. I’ll use the cups as an example of what the full suit together looks like. • King Of Cups • Queen Of Cups • Knight Of Cups • Page Of Cups • 10 Of Cups • 9 Of Cups • 8 Of Cups • 7 Of Cups • 6 of Cups • 5 Of Cups • 4 Of Cups • 3 Of Cups • 2 Of Cups • Ace Of Cups Just replace cups with pentacles, wands, or swords, and you now know all the cards! • Reversed Cards: You may have heard of reversed cards and wonder what they mean. Some think it means the opposite of the original meanings of the cards, no matter how you read them reversed cards usually mean something different than the original. From my experience (and also the guidebooks that came with my decks) a reversed card is more a sister meaning to the original card. The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. It seems that reversed cards are like the hate to the original card, not the opposite, just a different version of what was already there. But that’s just how I read them and how I look at it. Feel free and encouraged to look into how others do it. • How Do I Pick The Cards?: Well, as with many things in witchcraft. There’s a ton of methods and ways of going about it. This post is just to go through what I do and know, so I’m going to explain how I do it. I shuffle the cards the same way you’d shuffle playing cards, sometimes I just take chunks out and place them back in another spot. Nothing fancy. When I really shuffle them well I’ll take a few and spin them around to get some reversed. As far as picking the cards, I fan them out on a flat surface or in both hands and pick one that sticks out to me. Then I put them back into a pile, fan them out and do it again until I have the desired amount of cards. Again, this is one persons experiences, methods, and opinions. Nothing more! This is simply the way I’ve gone about it. • What Do The Cards Mean?: You may be asking yourself, okay I understand how the cards are categorized, but how the heck do I know what they mean? Well there’s a simple answer. There’s a ton of books on how to understand tarot, a lot of decks also come with their own guidebook in some form. I would recommend that whatever deck you get to start, you make sure you’ve got some kind of guide to go with it. An alternative is youtube videos, I’ve seen some really lovely ones that teach you all 78 cards and their meanings. Yet again, just search it up. PREPARING: • Cleanse the deck This can be done with whatever your preferred method of cleansing is. I prefer actively knocking the bad vibes out of my deck. • Get to know it There are plenty of spreads designed to get to know the deck. You can search up tarot spreads or things about getting to know a deck and you’ll find tons of info & ideas. I just did a bunch of simple 1 card spreads asking my deck whatever came into my head. A few of the questions I asked, (after cleansing it of course) were, “What is your first impression of me?” “Do you think we’ll get along?” “How might we benefit from this relationship?” I just overall like talking to my decks a lot and carrying them around in general. It’s also super good for getting to know them! READINGS: • One card readings If you’re a beginner, pulling a single card at the beginning of the day may be the way to go for you. It is also a simple way to work witchcraft into your life without taking up a ton of time. Write down the card and its meaning and look back on it later. • 3 Card Readings After I got to know my deck a bit, I really enjoyed doing 3 card spreads on specific things. Past, present, and future spreads relating to a certain person I know I found very fun and accurate. As I said previously, there are huge very complex spreads out there. But this post is for beginners. TIPS & REMINDERS: • Write down EVERYTHING you do with tarot, what you learn, the spreads you do, the cards you get, any feelings that come to heart or mind. • If a card falls out of the deck while shuffling, pick it up and have a look! I often find it means something. • Cleanse before and after every use. I think that’s just about all I’ve got to say. I hope this helped someone! Enjoy! Have a lovely day 💖

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forthesakeofmotherearth · 3 years

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For Baby/Beginner/New Witches 👶🏻🌟

As flattered as I am to receive tons of messages from newer witches asking me so many questions and being so enthusiastic about starting this journey into their Craft, I'm feeling a slight degree of panic because I am not a teacher.

I am barely out of the margin of baby witch myself and I am still learning.

However I do feel like I should at least give pointers on where to start and how to go about this crazy thing we all practice so here we go.

Where Do I Start?

You're excited to get going but you've got no idea where to start, understandable, witchcraft is one of these info heavy subjects. However, if you start at researching these two things I promise it'll become easier.

The History of Witchcraft: Probably one of the most vital aspects of witchcraft you need to learn about is the history. From how long it's been going, some of the old practices, the persecution of witches and the more recent history, legalisation involving witchcraft, etc. Everything you learn after this, divination, herbal magick, whatever, you should always try to have a quick look at where it originated and it's history. It's always good to know, after all, how can you expect to learn and practice something when you don't know why it was created and used for in the first place?

The Different Paths/Types: Right, this is the easiest way to narrow down the research after this to specifics. What you believe in (e.g, are you Atheist? Agnostic?), why you wish to take this up, what types of magick do you actually want to use? These questions, when answered will point to different paths, religions or types of practice and therefore, different types of magick, rituals, different research. For example, if you are drawn to Wicca, you probably won't need to research hexes or curses as most Wiccans tend to follow the rule of 3 (If you do something negative to others it'll come back on you 3 fold). Give every type a fair trial research wise in case something catches your intuition but remember, some paths are closed religions/practices, and so are off limits unless you're born or initiated by someone who is part of that practice into them (Mayan, Aztec, Native American, Shamanism, Voudon *or the more western word: Voodoo, to name a few). Going into these types of religions or practices without being let in, not taking it seriously or fucking around is HIGHLY OFFENSIVE and modern mainstream/trendy witchcraft tends to be guilty of a lot cultural appropriation so be careful and don't be a dick.

Right after those two important things, this is what you can look at afterwards. As you research you should be jotting what catches your eye or basic information you need down in a notebook that either is your actual or is your temporary Book of Shadows. (* beside the ones you absolutely need/highly reccomend you look at, everything else is research inspiration for you)

*Grounding/Meditation.

*Protection: Casting Circles, Banishing, Cleansing, Wards, Protective Herbs/Crystals/etc, Protection Spells.

*Different Types of Magick: Herbs, Kitchen, Tea, Candle/Flame, Colour are good places to start looking at.

*Book of Shadows/Grimoire: What they are, what the difference is and inspiration for how you want yours to look.

*The Rules: The Rule of Three, When you can Substitute Ingredients/Steps in a Spell/Ritual, Magick that is Frowned Upon (*cough* Creepy Fucking Love Spells), etc.

*Why Spells may not work/How they can go wrong/How you can fix this when it happens (Which it will, we all fuck up at some stage).

*Your country/local area's history and if witchcraft is included in it: Fun fact, the county in Ireland I'm from is where the only Christian accused of heresy and magick was "trailed" (she got away and disappeared off the face of the earth), you'd be surprised about what you may discover about where you are.

Altars: What you need for it, what you need it for, how to maintain it.

Altar Tools: Athames, Wands, Cauldrons, etc. What they're for and how to maintain them.

Divination: Tarot, Pendulum, Scrying, etc.

Herb/Crystal Properties: What they're associated with, what they encourage, what they discourage, etc.

Dream Interpretation.

Moon Phases: What each phase means, how it is incorporated into spells.

Astrology: Your star sign(??), etc (I know piss all about astrology, it's something I never use, I just know when Mercury is in Retreograde it's bad but a lot of witches do use it, I'm sorry that's all I know).

Sabbaths: The history, the dates they're on, what each one is celebrating, rituals and spells to perform on each one, traditions associated with each one.

Those are just the ones off the top of my head, there's hundreds of topics you could look at. As you research more and more you'll get the hang of it. If you have a question in your head, research until you get the answer. Now this may seem extreme but you should be in this phase of JUST research for a minimum of 6 months to a year MINIMUM before you would be ready to actually practice. You never stop researching either, if you keep this on 20 years down the road you will still be researching then. Do not rush this phase, it'll come back around and bite you if you go into this without knowing what you're at.

Okay, What do I Need?

Again, not all of these are necessary or easy for people to get. This is simply what I started off with.

A Place to Practice- Now you won't be practising anything as a baby witch for a good few months but the place where you will eventually use to cast spells and such is a good place to go to do research and to meditate. This can be any space you choose, your room, a place in your garden, under a tree somewhere, just somewhere you can find peace of mind and truly immerse yourself in learning your practice (Please use common sense, don't pick a graveyard or somewhere where horrible things have happened, be respectful or you'll get your ass kicked by entities otherwise).

An Altar- Now this is optional but most witches tend to have an altar, totally up to you though.

Incense or Sage/Your Other Cleansing Method- You will need some way to clean your space after spells and to keep safe. Use what works for you.

White Candles- You are going to be using candles and there's usually no way around that. White can substitute any colour in most rituals or spells and you find them easy enough. Tea light candles you can bulk buy can work for nearly all spells unless they state otherwise.

A Notebook- This will act as your trial Book of Shadows, when I started out I bought a €1 Notebook to act as my Book of Shadows/roughwork book for when I wrote my first few spells and the information I researched/needed. I revisit this notebook when I am coming up with a new spell, despite having an actual Book of Shadows now and honestly it's the handiest thing that I still use as a practicing witch.

BOOKS- I cannot stress this enough, using just one form or research (the internet, for example) is generally a bad idea as you could be missing out on key information that is published in Witchcraft books. Plus a lot of researching is simply cross referencing information from various different sources. I can make a list of books and websites I used to research as a beginner (and still use now of course) in a seperate post (I'll link it here if I ever get round to it). Of course, if your family would not like to have a witch in it then by all means keep safe and use the internet until you're out of that situation.

A Pendulum- If you are looking to go into divination then a pendulum is the easiest place to start. You can get a specfic crystal or make your own using string and a weight (a paperclip will do) or even use a necklace you own.

A few Crystals- Now don't go crazy, especially if you don't plan on using crystals in your practice, just try get your hands on a few standard, common crystals like clear quartz, rose quartz, amethyst, etc. See what they bring into your life and your Craft, don't knock it until you try it.

You do not need to spend loads of money to get started in Witchcraft, hell you could probably start practicing with like three things from that supply list if you tried hard enough. As you go along, you'll figure out what you need to buy.

Right, I've done my year or two of Research, I'm ready for my first spell!

Great! Here are some appropriate places to start:

A spell jar (for protection, self love, encouragement of creativity, whatever)

A bath spell (again, for something simple)

Literally anything that comes up when you search "Beginner Witch/Baby Witch Spells" on Google.

Here are some places you should stay the fuck away from when you are beginning to practice:

Deity work (Just read my post if you need convincing)

Spirit Work (Self Explanatory)

Love Spells (Just don't do them at all like, they're gross unless you've gotten consent from the other person)

Blood/Any Bodily Fluid Magick

Sex Magick

Anything you see in movie witchcraft, just don't, it looks cool but it's not real.

If it involves you being put in a dangerous situation you may not know how to get out of if things go wrong, then don't do it. You need to have done a good number of spells under your belt and to be sure in your protection magick abilities to move on to any of that shit and that doesn't happen on day one. Before my first Séance I spent about three months researching in preparation just for a ten minute session, as well as making like two protection jars and like fifty sigils for a ward, you need to do extensive and intense research before committing to anything that is not putting herbs in a bottle because of all the shit that could go wrong and the consequences of that.

Just use common sense, as you learn more about what you're doing you'll figure out what you need and what you are capable of in your practice.

Transition: This is YOUR Practice.

I can give you all these places to start but at the end of the day, Witchcraft is an entirely individual experience for each and everyone who ventured into it. You may have to change common things that don't work for you (E.g, I'm asthmatic so I'm not able to use sage or incense all the time but I own and can use a cleansing bell when I need to) and that's 100% grand like, when it comes to the intimate details of your Craft no one can control that. So take some inspiration from this (and hopefully the advice too), open up a book or website, start reading and enjoy your journey.

🌒🌕🌘

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forthesakeofmotherearth · 3 years

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Tarot Spread For The Upcoming Year, Two Ways

First, a simple overview, shown above. Shuffle while concentrating on the upcoming year. If you have a particular type of concern for the days ahead (career, romance, finances, etc), focus on that and ask for guidance. If not, ask for general guidance or predictions and deal as shown. These cards represent:

Overall theme for the year

Message for January

Message for February

Message for March

Message for April

Message for May

Message for June

Message for July

Message for August

Message for September

Message for October

Message for November

Message for December

Read upright/reversed based on their relationship to the center of the wheel; center is the bottom, the rim is the top, so, for instance, card 2 is in a normal orientation, while 5 is on its side with the top to the right.

Alternately, you can take a more comprehensive look at the upcoming year. As above, shuffle and concentrate on the kind of overview that would fill your needs. Last the cards as shown. These cards represent:

A lesson you will bring with your from the past year into the upcoming year (will help you deal with the coming year)

Overall theme for the new year

Overall struggle/adversary for the new year

A lesson you will need to learn in the coming year to prepare your for the following year

Message for January

Message for February

Message for March

Message for April

Message for May

Message for June

Message for July

Message for August

Message for September

Message for October

Message for November

Message for December

Struggle/adversary for January

Struggle/adversary for February

Struggle/adversary for March

Struggle/adversary for April

Struggle/adversary for May

Struggle/adversary for June

Struggle/adversary for July

Struggle/adversary for August

Struggle/adversary for September

Struggle/adversary for October

Struggle/adversary for November

Struggle/adversary for December

Read upright/reversed on the monthly messages as indicated with the first spread. The struggle/adversary cards (3 and 17-28) should be read holistically; the upright or reversed meanings may be most appropriate to be aware of. Use your intuition. Be aware that these cards often have advice for how to deal with that struggle.

The struggle/adversary may be a person, situation, mindset, etc.

I suggest reading each month as a pair (its message and struggle/adversary together). You may find that a month that has a negative message may carry advice on the struggle for how to get through it, for instance. It is surprising how these cards interact sometimes.

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forthesakeofmotherearth · 4 years

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across the sea | a bokuaka fanfic (act. I)

inspired by the movie ‘portrait of a lady on fire’ by celine sciamma which is sad and lesbian

pairing: bokuto koutarou x akaashi keiji

word count: 21.8k words

contains: historical setting (actually the setting is vague bec if i tried to describe it more it would take 5 extra pages), heavy angst, slight fluff, greek mythology references, implied smut

summary: when Bokuto accepted a portrait commission for the young, engaged Akaashi Keiji, he never expected him to be so beautiful. he knows it’s a mistake to be attached, a mistake for them to fall in love in a time when they know it’s impossible for them to be together.

a/n: i’m a sad gay who loves sad lesbian movies and portait of a lady on fire is peak film. a lot of the things here are based on the film so i suggest you check out this beautiful movie, but i added a few tweaks here and there to make it my own.

chapters: act. I, act. II., act. III

“You’re not the first painter to come here,” the ferryman said. Actually, it wasn’t the first time Bokuto had heard that. And now, he was sitting in the middle of tiny, fishing boat, clutching his tattered suitcase and the thin, wooden box where he kept his canvases for dear life. Mostly due to the fact that if his suitcase or canvases found their way overboard, Bokuto would have no choice but to jump after them.

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forthesakeofmotherearth · 4 years

Text

the dreadful need in the devotee (the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice) [chapter 9]

Summary:

“Turn around.”

When Marianne hears that voice, all air gets knocked out of her lungs. She freezes, completely paralyzed just one step away from the exit of the theatre. She could just walk away, pretend she imagined the voice–maybe she did after all those years–and go on with her life without the agony that comes with clinging on to hope. But she cannot resist, like she couldn’t before. So, Marianne turns around, and when she does, her eyes fill with tears.

(Or, Héloïse sees Marianne too.)

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A/N: Hello everyone, how is it going? Very very short note this time. 1) Life was very crazy so I didn’t have as much time to write as I thought. 2) The remaining chapters including this one are now 3 instead of 2 because I had to split this chapter. 3) This new update is 13.500 words long. So… I hope you like it and that if you do, you’ll tell me what you thought of it.

As always, enjoy and let me know your thoughts <3

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“This feels nice.”

“This?”

The warm lips pressed against Héloïse’s neck inch higher, making her shudder.

“Don’t stop.”

Héloïse feels Marianne smile against her skin. The painter obliges to the request, tightening her arm around Héloïse’s waist and placing a trail of soft kisses up and down the length of her neck. Héloïse smiles, too. She had no idea shivers could feel so good. She had no idea anything could feel as good as what she had felt that night, but Marianne had shown her just what kind of pleasure her body was able to experience.

“I love your neck,” Marianne whispers, tracing with her nose the same path her lips had covered, all the way to Héloïse’s ear. “I longed to touch it while I was painting you.”

“It isn’t the only thing you touched.”

Marianne’s soft laugh tickles the back of Héloïse’s ear and she, too, finds herself grinning. She revels in the blasphemy of her thoughts, because every wicked thing she did with Marianne and to Marianne feels more right and divine than any prayer she devoted to God in her time in convent.

She turns around in Marianne’s arms until she is lying face to face with her. There is hardly any light left to illuminate the room, nothing but embers remain in the fireplace, but Héloïse can still see how Marianne’s smile has reached her eyes, making the golden specks in them glimmer in the candlelight.

“That’s true,” Marianne says. “But I cannot paint those other things.”

Héloïse’s cheeks burn with a rush of heat. Marianne’s touch lingers everywhere on her body, her skin is still warm and sensitive in places she had barely paid attention to before that night. She smiles wider, the toothy smile of a child who was surprised with candies, and right afterwards bites at her bottom lip, suddenly shy about displaying her happiness with such exaggeration.

But Marianne is smiling back at her, casually running her fingertips up and down Héloïse’s side as if she had spent years touching her so intimately, and the happiness Héloïse feels can hardly be contained.

“You could,” Héloïse says, feeling the flush spread to her ears when the surprise in Marianne’s eyes gives way to a mischievous glint.

“Would you want me to?”

“Maybe.”

Héloïse shrugs with a small laugh, but as she entertains the thought, she finds herself unable to sustain Marianne’s gaze. Even as they lie naked and pressed against each other, the idea of posing nude for Marianne makes her feel timid just as much as excited.

She distracts herself touching the dip between Marianne’s collarbones, and her heart thumps just a bit faster as she remembers kissing that spot and lower, putting her mouth on Marianne’s breasts and growing bolder with every sound Marianne had let out.

“I loved touching you, too,” she confesses quietly. When she glances up at Marianne, she finds her eyes even softer than her touch. “Did you enjoy it?”

Héloïse has asked this question before throughout the night. More than once, and every time, the vulnerability that comes with waiting for Marianne’s answer is always the same.

“Yes.”

Marianne’s answer, too, is always the same. Patient and honest and reassuring. So reassuring even during Héloïse’s initial, clumsy attempts and later, when Héloïse’s fingers were warm and damp and her breath quivering harder than Marianne’s body.

“Yes,” Marianne repeats with a soft smile, and Héloïse presses closer to her, threading her fingers through her thick, dark hair. Watching Marianne release it from the bun she always wore had felt as sensual as watching her take off her clothes. Her Sister Superior would always tell her that having beautiful hair was a curse of the Devil, a temptation to lead men to sin, and that once Héloïse would take her vows, she would personally chop off every sinful lock. When she had pushed her hands into the dark mass of Marianne’s hair while their mouths fit together, Héloïse had understood what a sad fool the Sister was for thinking this a sin.

“You’re smiling,” Marianne says, and Héloïse feels her own lips stretch further. She leans in for what she meant to be a quick kiss, but she yields to the warmth of Marianne’s mouth and keeps kissing her. It’s gentle and languid but Héloïse’s mouth still opens a little, and her tongue touches Marianne’s lip, and Héloïse’s heart swells in her chest because Marianne lets her kiss her like that without ever trying to restrain her delight. Héloïse is grateful to her. So, so grateful.

They break apart in a quiet burst of laughs when a yawn suddenly pushes out of Héloïse’s mouth, surprising her just as much as Marianne.

“We should rest,” Marianne suggests, stroking Héloïse’s cheek, and Héloïse wants to say no but her eyelids are heavy and with the way Marianne is holding her, sleep promises to be as delicious as the efforts that left them exhausted.

Héloïse nods and shifts a little from Marianne to stretch her limbs under the blanket. All her muscles unwind one by one, the gentle ache turning into a pleasant numbness that makes her sigh out loud. She closes her eyes and grins when Marianne nudges at her cheekbone with her nose.

“Are you okay?” Héloïse hears Marianne ask, and the question makes her laugh. She nods again, just to reassure Marianne, but she is so much more than okay. The word is unfitting, completely insufficient to describe the utter serenity Héloïse is feeling.

She thinks about the little she knew about sex, the assumptions she had based on what she had read or the hushed comments she had extorted, and she wants to laugh again.

“I really thought it would hurt.”

Marianne kisses the corner of her mouth, then her cheek, her temple.

“I wasn’t going to let it happen.”

Héloïse believes her. She has never felt safer and further away from anything that might hurt her. She rests her head on Marianne’s chest, breathing in harmony with her.

She is at peace like this. No pain can touch her.

Héloïse stumbles through the main door of her house. The thick fabric of her dress entangles her legs, making her almost collapse to the floor, but she regains her balance at the very last second.

She doesn’t feel any more stable. Her legs feel wobbly, her clothes tight and heavier than usual, keeping her from breathing properly, and her head keeps pounding with one of the worst aches she has ever felt. She did this to herself, when she had scoured Marianne’s pantry and drunk all the wine she had left behind. It had numbed her body but done nothing for the excruciating pain in her chest that had started torturing her since realizing Marianne was gone.

Her vision blurs again at the thought, and maybe it’s just the alcohol because she doesn’t think she has any tears left in her body with how dry and sticky her eyes feel.

Marianne is gone. Again. Forever this time, and the pain should have killed her but it didn’t, and Héloïse hates knowing that it won’t. She will survive, just like she survived everything else in her life, but this time the knowledge is so horrifying that she struggles to breathe.

She trips again on her next attempt at walking and a valet is immediately next to her to help her.

“I’m fine,” she says, pushing herself away from the unwanted touch. She doesn’t want to be close to anyone, let alone a man. “Where is—”

Héloïse gets the answer she was looking for before she can even finish her question because Julie suddenly appears from a hallway. Even in her intoxicated state, Héloïse doesn’t miss the way Julie’s eyes fill with surprise and worry as soon as she sees her.

“Madame?”

The young girl’s voice is tinged with the same concern, but Héloïse ignores it.

“Bring me wine to my reading room,” she slurs out, walking away without waiting for an answer. She staggers up the stairs and through the main hall, dropping her cloak in the middle of the corridor. She doesn’t feel any lighter, that choking tightness in her chest remains just as intense as before, making her wish she could tear her clothes off her body, and then her skin, just to be able to take a single, full breath.

Her room feels hostile to her when she walks inside. A place she had built to preserve old memories and to create new ones, now seems designed to hurt her in the most cruelly ironic way, because everywhere she looks, she is reminded of Marianne. The harpsichord next to the wall, the table she sat at the first time Marianne came to her house, the books that she had told Marianne had given her so much comfort. A choked hiccup escapes from her throat when her eyes set on her own portrait, hanging on the wall and staring back at her. It had been an equal source of love and sorrow throughout the years. Now she wants to tear it to shreds, just like she did with the most recent image of herself.

“Julie!”

Héloïse shouts out the maid’s name just as the girl walks in, carrying a bottle of wine and a glass in her hand. She freezes for a moment, startled by the unexpected yell, but quickly collects herself and walks up to Héloïse. A pang of guilt goes through Héloïse’s stomach when Julie places the objects on her table keeping her eyes downcast, but the alcohol already in her system clouds her thoughts and the type of pain she is feeling selfishly demands all her focus.

“Is there anything else you need, madame?” Julie asks quietly.

“No. You can retire.”

Héloïse flops down on the chair and fills the glass, her hand shaking and spilling drops of wine across the table surface.

“Madame, are you sure you’re—”

“I said you can go, Julie,” Héloïse cuts her off with a harsher voice than she has ever used. She downs the wine without looking at Julie, only her hushed steps and the sound of the door closing tell Héloïse that the girl has left.

Héloïse re-fills the glass, gulps down the wine and fills it again. Over and over, she keeps drinking. The burning in her throat and the increasing queasiness at the pit of her stomach do nothing to stop her. With each glass, she welcomes the physical distress she is inflicting on her body, hoping that eventually it will grow so intense as to drown out the pain that’s gnawing at her from within. She only feels worse. No merciful numbness takes over, but instead she feels as hollow as filled with an anguish so overwhelming it shouldn’t fit inside her body.

Her eyes find her portrait again. Memories she doesn’t want push themselves on her to torture her. She doesn’t want to remember Marianne nuzzling her cheek while she was mixing the colors on her palette, her playful smile, the sadness that had suddenly darkened her eyes. Memories from years ago that blend into new ones, similar but with much sharper teeth to tear her open.

“What future can we have, Héloïse?”

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