formlessphan

[formlessphan]

Some final thoughts on our two nan zhu jue

Teh Krittikorn Saetan, the ultimate burn-to-learn character

When I grow up, I’ll be a protagonist like Yongjian.

I just know that I want to be close to you, and I don’t want you to be close to anyone else.

Why do people have to change? I don't like it.

I just feel weird. It's like I've got all of it, the life I've always dreamed of...but I don't know why...It's like...I feel empty. Like something is missing.

The one I've been looking for is always you, in the end.

How does one sum up one of the most complex, flawed, loveable, relatable, MADDENING characters ever written? Teh is an absolute study in contradictions. He is stubborn, petty, fearful, passive aggressive, headstrong, obsessive, easily confused, emotional and he somehow manages to overthink his feelings while also never thinking through to the consequences of his actions. But he can also be loving, thoughtful, kind, romantic, expressive, passionate, selfless and devoted. Loving Teh and being loved by Teh must be the wildest, most exhausting, most agitating, most irritating, most exhilarating, most beautiful, most incredible ride there is. If you can hang on and not kill him, it's probably worth every moment.

Teh's character journey through the story has always been one of two steps forward and one step back. At every turn, when you think he has learned a lesson from his latest incident of setting his life aflame in some way, he backslides because he is ruled by his emotions. Whenever he is forced to self-examine, to take a long hard look at himself and acknowledge his flaws and his mistakes (usually after Oh Aew has refused him in some way), he usually realises where he went wrong and tries to fix it. But Teh is also the king of making the same mistake multiple times. His heart, and his MOUTH, rush ahead of his brain, always.

That big beautiful soft heart is Teh's greatest asset, and sometimes his greatest enemy. He loves SO easily, SO strongly, SO deeply. Where Oh Aew is cautious yet in some ways fearless, Teh is always fearful, but will always take the leap. And once he decides to do something, he goes all the way, no half measures. It was like that with acting, and with Oh Aew. When he loves, there's nothing he won't do for that love. And in the end, I think that's how he ended up making the mistake he made with Jai. He saw his love for acting and his love for Oh Aew somehow in conflict, when before Oh Aew gave up acting they had been one and the same. He thought he had to choose, and chose acting in the moment. And he was rewarded for that choice, and also lived to regret it.

That's why I'm one of those who thinks that Teh has learned that particular lesson about which love is the most important to him, because what he lost in the end was so much more than what he gained, and he almost lost it for good. And he's not left wondering 'what if', he's already gone down that road and knows it doesn't make him happy. Teh has always needed Oh Aew more than Oh Aew needs Teh. So at the end of the story you see that he makes a different choice; by posting that photo, he chooses Oh Aew. That public coming out could destroy his entire career, he knows that. Being Teh, he probably hasn't thought that entirely through, but I doubt he'll be taking it back no matter what happens.

So we leave Teh at the end of the journey unchanged in many ways. I doubt he will ever look too hard before he leaps. He will probably always be dragged around by his emotions. He will likely always go popping off at the mouth without a filter. He will forever go for the grand gesture; he's a romantic like his mom. But if he's learned anything on this whole journey, it's what is truly important to him, and I believe he's unlikely to forget that no matter what else happens.

[formlessphan]

What Oh’s Notebook Might Look Like Today

[formlessphan]

ITSAY & IPYTM: An Open Love Letter

I was going to write a wrap post after giving myself time to absorb everything- it was going to be detailed, analytical, the whole nine yards. The problem: this is the first show (scratch that- piece of media, period) I've encountered that I'm completely unable to emotionally distance or separate myself/my own experiences from. Days after the IPYTM finale, heart still firmly in my throat, all I really want to say is...thank you.

Thank you for breathing new life into ancient memories- both bitter and sweet- ones I had forgotten long ago or abandoned in my youth. For not compromising in telling a real, human story, with all its sometimes polarizing faults. For not shying away from showing the complexity and weirdness of being young and in love- from the embarrassing stuff love can compel you to do when you’re alone with your thoughts (i.e. coconut everything) to the raw heartbreak no one else sees (the red bra scene).

Thank you for making a queer love story feel incredibly universal- transcending orientation, tropes, and just breaking the mold in general. Thank you for being a visual love letter to Phuket, a place I otherwise would’ve never known existed, but whose streets and colors and sights I feel like I almost know firsthand, filled with fictional memories I’ll treasure. Thank you for creating a story that would’ve tilted my world on its axis as an extremely confused 14 year old, filled with butterflies and sky-high anxiety, in love- and struggling to accept being in love- with her best friend.

Thank you for compassionately but uncompromisingly showing the shockwaves that losing your way, of letting yourself drift, can set off- affecting everyone around you. Conversely, thank you for showing that wounds can heal, hearts can mend, love can start anew- maybe even stronger for the breaking. Thank you for showing that falling in love doesn’t automatically translate to forever: it takes intention, a continual pivoting towards and with another person, a mindfulness that says, “I choose you today, and I’ll keep choosing you.”

Thank you for going beyond the purely visual with a truly transcendent OST, and music videos with iconic fashion moments for the ages (three words: purple latex top). Thank you for all the beautiful symbolism, the obvious care, for sweeping takes and dazzling cinematography that’s burned scenes both beautiful and wretched in my mind forever.

Thank you for not taking the easy way out, not once- even when it was gut wrenching. Thank you for giving me a story I didn’t know I needed but can now never imagine living without.

Just- thank you.

[formlessphan]

Why do you feel like you want to go back to him? Billkin: I think [Teh]… He’s tried to live his life. He’s been learning life for awhile. And he then realises later that it’s not what he wants. Everything’s not as amazing as how he’d imagined. So I think that’s why he wants to go back.

PP: [about reading Teh’s text messages] It is only then that Oh-aew realises… in the end, he actually isn’t able to let go. He’s not able to act like he’s fine, or act as if nothing’s happened with this relationship. It turns out, he still loves Teh the same as he did before, every day.

– I PROMISED YOU THE MOON DOCUMENTARY EP. 6

[formlessphan]

BKPP in IPYTM documentary ep. 6

[formlessphan]

I don’t know if we’ll cross paths again in other series. But for me, I’m very happy that the person who’s been on this journey with me is PP. I feel like we’ve always been there for each other. And that I’m very lucky. – Billkin Putthipong

And thank you, Billkin. From the first day we’ve got to be together till now, I feel like you’re the one who’s made everything easier… made the project run faster, better and he’s made me who I am today. I have what I have today because of everyone, including Billkin. – PP Krit

– I PROMISED YOU THE MOON DOCUMENTARY EP. 5

[formlessphan]

i have not stopped thinking about this from the moment i saw it

[formlessphan]

we manifested it besties😌

#thank you nadia i’m sorry i doubted you #p’boss p’tang and the whole dream team is back im so excited #i literally told myself not to expect anything #but i’m so happy :’) #billkinpp #bkpp the series #bkpp #i told sunset about you #itsay #i promised you the moon #ipytm #bkpp project #billkin putthipong #pp krit

[formlessphan]

my tehoh post-ipytm head canons since nadia decided to choose violence and not give us a special episode (yes i’m still salty 😤 ). anyways i should be shot for this corny ass shit, truly:

tehoh move in together to a bigger apartment and really make it their own— teh doesn’t really care about decor so oh is left to the task and we all know his taste is top notch.

except oh likes to re-decorate every few months because he’s changed his mind on the placement of the sofa— teh is left to drag it across the condo only to be told to put it back where it was because oh’s decided it’s not the sofa that needs to move but the blinds that need to be changed.

(ofc teh grumbles through all of it, but the big kiss he gets on the forehead at the end makes it all worth it). 

there are weeks when teh doesn’t come back from his schedule until early in the morning, only a few hours before oh has to wake up for work. sometimes, it’s the only few hours they get together all week.

they don’t even open their eyes, just reach for the other in the dark and wrap their arms tightly around each other.

they’ll have half-asleep conversations too, losing all coherency as they drift farther and farther into a deep sleep— “how was work today?” “yeah, hokkien mee”

on the rare day off together, they’ll hop in oh-aew’s car and drive down to the nearest beach— top down, shades on, singing along embarrassingly loud to the radio, collapsing into a fit of giggles at every stop light.

ofc they hold hands on the gear shift.

teh has made it clear that he would like to keep his personal life private, but he still gets all shy when he’s asked about oh-aew in interviews, a coy “no comment” before he’s teased about his red-tinged ears. 

except teh is LOUD when he brings oh-aew to red carpet events— opening the door for oh, arm around his waist, making sure he’s comfortable, dabbing away the other’s sweat with his sleeve.

(teh is his PR team’s worst nightmare, but luckily oh-aew is there to stop teh from posting so many pictures of him; teh’s company should pay him for all the damage control he’s done, really).

teh’s the better cook between them so he usually makes dinner when they have a night-in.

they also play rock paper scissors to see who has to wash the dishes (which teh is absolutely terrible at, even when oh tries to let him win). 

oh-aew is practically teh’s stylist since the poor man can’t dress himself to save his life. fans of teh have threads on twitter showing when teh dresses himself vs. when his boyfriend does.

whenever they go on shopping dates, you can find fc posts of them holding hands, teh holding oh’s bags, hat and sunglasses on to keep things low key (but everyone knows it’s them).

sometimes oh visits teh on set and brings coffee for everyone. 

when he watches teh act, he’s always amused by the way teh can so easily slip into character— and just as easily, slip back into his teh the moment he looks at oh and flashes him a bright, impish grin, waving at him between takes. 

as much as they love each other, it’s not always easy. but they have come such a long way from their younger selves. they check-in with each other at least once a month, have a moment to talk about what they’re feeling— to step outside of each other and be objective about things. they find that after every check-in, they still want to be together. and so they are.

two years after they get back together, nosomi and hoon have their first child. teh cries more than the baby when he holds her in his arms, snot everywhere. oh-aew has never loved him more. 

shortly after, teh begins to propose to oh-aew every day. oh-aew never gives him a definitive answer, just calls him silly and pushes him away teasingly. “marry me?” he peppers the questions all over oh’s face with kisses, and oh-aew laughs.

teh begins leaving sticky notes proposing to oh-aew in every room of their apartment. when oh wakes up to brush his teeth and sees “marry me?” on the bathroom mirror. when he opens the fridge and there’s a bright pink sticky note on the milk carton: “please? :(”. when he goes to slip on his shoes and finds that teh has left a note in there, too: “you’re my sole-mate. 555″. oh-aew keeps every single one of them close to his heart.

they’re sitting on the sofa a few years later and he hasn’t said it in a while. teh asks again for old time’s sake, nonchalantly— he’s not even looking at oh-aew until oh responds with a casual “sure”. then he’s hugging him and kissing him all over and they laugh so hard their stomachs nearly drop.

#this is the fanfic fodder i need #do i need to all these turned into fluffy fics? #yes #at this rate i’ll write all of them myself

[formlessphan]

Shots to the heart

I feel like this is the first episode since the first episode to really USE Bangkok as a backdrop in the way they used Phuket in ITSAY. I'm sure a lot of that had to do with shooting in a big city in the pandemic, but also other than arriving there, going to school in a city you (or at least I) spend a lot of time in the cauldron of school and campus and not so much really out in the city itself. I really discovered the city I was in when I left school, returning afterward. Overall I found myself craving more of Bangkok on the screen.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH in this shot. I see that sunflower as a sword, brandished by Oh Aew to protect himself. 'The penalty of betrayal is death', and Teh sure looks like Oh Aew is killing him here. Also, the poster in the background, but also separating them in the frame. That poster is the visual representation of their entire history, and their history is the barrier between Teh and Oh Aew in this moment.

This was probably is the most Phuket of the Bangkok locations we could get, with the specific types of greenery. Also, the colour grading of the whole rooftop scene is incredibly pretty, those soft, subtle pinks, blues and purples.

These boys and their secrets. But I loved this callback. At the heart of it, they've always been friends, intimates, and the whole conversation scene really reminded you of that being the basis of their love: they just like each other and they enjoy each other's company. You know, when Teh can get out his own head long enough for that to happen, and as long as Oh Aew isn't burying his feelings.

Another Renaissance painting style shot of the Fab 5. What a sweet little found family. I love them so much and I really wanted to see them tearing up the town at least once, but alas, pandemic.

There were supposed to be two nan zhu jue. Now a nu zhu jue has entered the frame, wearing Teh's colour even. But Teh is wearing Oh Aew's colour, his heart, LITERALLY on his sleeve.

Teh and mirrors is a bit of a cinematographical theme in IPYTM as I saw another poster point out. They are almost mocking him. Surrounded by mirrors and he still can't see himself. Also funny here: not one lightbulb. He really is clueless the poor lamb.

Teh is as subtle as a sledgehammer. Look at that stage, the tree awash in red light. He really invited Oh Aew to this play without a word of warning, and Oh Aew, bless him, went only to be hit with...this. Stressful as shit. I'd have left too.

When they have their big talk, it is sunset/twilight in Phuket. I love love LOVE that they did NOT revert to the ITSAY golden colour grading in the Phuket scenes, because this return to Phuket was not about haziness and nostalgia, looking back at the past with fondness and longing and the dreaminess of first love. This was very much about reality, maturity, seeing themselves and each other starkly and clearly, in the here and now. The colours are true, the light is white, even with the sunset throwing off its final rays in the background. This isn't a romantic fantasy, it's a real true love story.

I Promised You the Moon, Episode 5: Turning Point Director: Meen Tossaphon Riantong Cinematographer: Koi Boonyanuch Kraithong

[formlessphan]

i think looking back at the whole thing my main problem with ipytm is that it packed too many plot points into five short episodes and it didn’t go all the way on any of those points (except jai which ofc makes it a sore spot for a sequel with many other potential directions 🙄), and that really detracted from our ability to feel/connect with the story and it especially feels jarring when we compare it to itsay, where p'boss let every scene run its course no matter how slow or silent, which then made us feel everything.

also, pet peeve: why were the ipytm episodes so short, when there was so much more dialogue and context needed for everything they were throwing at us?? we were robbed of some necessary background/explanation.

at the end of the day it was probably not a good idea to cram five years of their lives into five episodes and that kind of fucked over ipytm in a big way. there was a lot of potential that felt somewhat subdued to me, like they could have pushed it further. i would have loved a deeper dive into the commentary about gender expression and sexual orientation: oh-aew being called girly in the casting, and mangpong saying he and plug were "girly" friends (the "girly" part wasn't translated) and he didn't expect them to fall for each other. in some ways it's nice that this was subtle, but in other ways i kind of wish it was more out there. meanwhile all the details about the entertainment industry and comm arts ended up taking way too much screen time relative to its role in driving the central conflict, which really comes down to teh once again not knowing himself.

we needed to see the jump between the end of ep2 and the start of ep3, how did teh go from crying in oh-aew's arms, to no longer wanting to invite oh-aew to plays with him? i can put the pieces of the puzzle together, but i shouldn't have to. we needed to see more of what oh-aew was going through this whole time other than having the time of his life and being the perfect partner to teh. (though i kind of get it in a way, since oh-aew and teh have always represented the expectation vs. reality meme to me).

and despite how much i love oab and how well he did here, we needed to see way less of jai. i'm honestly not even mad about the cheating plot itself but knowing how unpopular they are, and how risky they are, it's the kind of thing where you really gotta nail the execution to pull it off and with only five episodes, they couldn't do it justice. i see the parallels between teh/tarn and teh/oh-aew here, i really do. and i see teh giving his everything to perform well to make jai's dreams come true, the way teh gave up his spot in itsay to make oh-aew's dreams come true. but the fact that so many of us were left thinking "what the fuck, teh??" means there are unanswered questions about how he arrived at that point, which is not something we want to feel about the major breaking point in their relationship.

anyway, i love the central messages of ipytm, even if i think they were too mean on teh in bringing him here. i know the middle part was kind of a mess but i love where teh and oh-aew ended up. it felt real that teh had to date airy to figure out that he was wrong about what he thought he wanted, and it felt real that oh-aew had to be alone for a while to figure out how to love himself without teh and be okay without him, so that oh-aew can choose teh again freely this time. i love that this episode was all about oh-aew, after everything, CHOOSING to love teh because he knows that that's what makes him happy. and teh just being the absolute luckiest guy in the world to have fallen in love with someone who is that perceptive, patient, and understanding. and i hope he’s learned his lesson and is ready to be the partner oh-aew deserves.

[formlessphan]

I just wanna tell you that for me, no one can ever replace you too. I still want to see you everyday. I want to see your smiley eyes. I want to see your dimples when you smile. I want to know how you’re doing. Are you doing alright? I miss you. So.. We don’t have to promise we’re gonna love each other forever. We don’t have to expect that things will be the same and never change. I just wanna be with you

[formlessphan]

I am not a Teh apologist, but I AM an Oh-aew cheerleader and if he is able to learn to love himself, heal and then forgive Teh on HIS terms and let him back in his life, good for Oh-aew!

[formlessphan]

I promised you the moon Episode 5 (finale)

Last episode, and in a way I think I called it a bit, didn't I? But we'll get to my bragging later. I think the episode showed beautifully some lessons about the love between Teh and Oh-Aew and love over all.

1. You don't always love who's best for you or there for you the most

If that was true, Oh would be with Q, who SO has a crush on him and wants to be with him. For Oh, he's just a friend though. he loves him as a friend and that's it, no matter what he has done for Oh. You can't control who you fall in love with or not.

2. You can love someone from afar easier than from close up

Oh is clearly still hung up on Teh and when he sees him on TV or in magazines he's happy and proud. There's no pettiness or ill will there. Even when they run into each other at first, Oh seems happy. Of course then the old stories and issues resurface and it becomes painful again. The sweetness of remembering the good times gets tainted by the betrayal and the awkwardness.

3. You can be unhappy and lonely even when it looks like you've got everything you ever wanted

A career or money don't make up for friends and the person you love. Neither does fame or fans. Teh has to learn that the hard way. No matter how many adoring fans he has now; they don't really know him and he still misses Oh. (Which is the reason why it upsets me so much when fans mess with the relationships their stars have in real life)

4. Sometimes you need a little bit of luck... or destiny

Had Teh and Oh not run into each other at the agency, the rest of the events might not have played out the way they did. They needed all the awkward and painful moments to get to the point they ended up in.

5. Regret is bitter but necessary

You learn from your mistakes and if you're lucky you get a second chance, so better not fuck it up. I think Teh really learned that one, which clearly shows.

6. The person who loves you and knows you best, is home.

Teh's case of depression lifts as soon as he's back in Oh's company and Oh's look on him and his perspective gives Teh confidence and he's able to write. Interestingly it turns out that Oh found himself despite Teh years ago, while Teh needs Oh to be himself. Both are still left with a void once the other one isn't around.

7. Dating "yourself" is not all it is wrecked up to be

Teh gets caught up in the idea of the dream partner on paper: A woman, his colleague, they are adored by the fans, have the same goals... everything he always wanted Oh to be. And yet... he loves him, not her.

Also, I think the conversation when Oh and Teh talk about this and Teh breaking up with her was brilliantly done! The way it switches from talking about Teh and Airy to Teh and Oh-Aew was amazing. Oh wanted/wants Teh to fight for him and for them.

8. Public love confessions can backfire

Teh's play in the end is a love confession to Oh. He admits all his faults and lays his heart bare in the words he gives the actors. And still, Oh leaves, overwhelmed and blindsighted.

(I kind of called it about the play as his final project being about them and Oh-Aew showing up, didn't I ?! :D)

9. Don't make exaggerated promises you won't be able to keep

Breaking a promise makes you lose trust. So does cheating. Both leave scars and Oh tells Teh as much when they talk after Teh's play. It's not even about the question if Oh still loves him, it's about the fact that Teh broke something in him and Oh doesn't know how to trust him and his declarations anymore.

Teh also reminds him of another promise, the one in Phuket when Oh asked Teh to never disappear on him again, no matter which role he plays in his life. Oh thinks Teh broke that promise as well and leaves.

Later it turns out Teh never left. He was always right there in Oh's messages, messages that Oh never read - until now.

10. Sometimes one needs a Bas in one's life.

I actually screamed when I saw Bas! I was so happy, because I kind of knew he would be the sounding board Oh needed. Also bringing back the background music from season 1 when they were together was a stroke of genius.

11. People change and evolve and make mistakes

And if you're lucky you stay together or get back together.

12. And if there are problems, can you come talk to me? And we can fix it together.

The truest and most romantic sentence ever spoken in any Bl series. Bravo Oh!

It's such a relief that they are recognising the issues that brought them apart and address them before getting back together.

And can you imagine the fan reactions to that last post?! I think it would break the internet ;D (The caption reads "I do" and Oh's look is too funny)

Random: How incredibly beautiful is the song of PP and Billkin that play in minute 10? So far I haven't been sold on the music of this season, at least not in a "I need to buy it" kind of way, but this one had me from the first second!

[formlessphan]

forgive yourself. you were doing the best you could with the experiences and resources you had at the time.

[formlessphan]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQOjlPkMCgH/?utm_medium=copy_link

@liyazaki hey i found this on insta not sure if it’s what you’re looking for :0

I wasn't kidding about getting/making my own thirst trap MASTERPIECE sweatshirt, and my research skills came in clutch.

For any other obsessives, Oh-aew's Big Buck sweatshirt (yes, that's really the design name 🤣) was made in the 90's by a US company called Clearwater Creek Clothing Co. I'd love to know if the stylists had the idea to add the iconic heart cutout and crystals, or if they found it somewhere already modified.

They occasionally go up on eBay- one was available for 15 DOLLARS a couple weeks ago until the seller took it down- because it didn't SELL. That'll change REAL quick if I can get them to relist it. ✌

ORDERED!!! 😭

#Instagram

[formlessphan]

Anatomy of A Scene Teh Is Not An Actor: One Scene Two Ways and some thoughts on what it says about our protagonist

- What's wrong? Why are you back to this again? Put the meaning into the character's action. Remember this, in Akin's world, there is no Oh-aew. Forget Oh-aew. Because there's only one person you need to think about. - Fang. - No. Me. Use the feelings that you had with me yesterday. And put them into the scene. Understood?

I Promised You the Moon, Episode 4: Inside Out Director: Meen Tossaphon Riantong Cinematographer: Koi Boonyanuch Kraithong Cast: Billkin Putthipong Assaratanakul, PP Krit Amnuaydechkorn, Oab Oabnithi Wiwattanawarang, Jewly Porntip Kitdamrongchai

I love duality in film. Basic, I know, but I'm fascinated by it. Parallels, callbacks, repetitions, mirroring, flashbacks, do-overs, dual perspectives, two handers...I love them all. So I think a lot of the scenes I gravitate to embody this sense of two things telling you one true thing. In this scene, the two things are the two takes of the cursed play, before Jai intervenes and after.

The physicality that Billkin has created for Teh is so specific. Teh's nervous energy, the tension in his shoulders, always hunching, the tactile fidgeting, the restless eyes...this kid is wound SO tight. He can't ever get out of his own head unless somebody goes in and drags him out. Oh Aew used to do that for him but in this scene Oh Aew is simply another stressor for Teh. He simply can't do this with Oh Aew watching him, because he's lying to Oh Aew and guilty about it and fixated on not letting Oh Aew see.

Jai gets that immediately, and in a quick and dirty fashion goes in and drags Teh out, gives him something else to fixate on, something more useful to the scene. And as he does that, Teh relaxes. His body softens, his movements become more languid, his eyes focus instead of darting. The fact that Billkin can give us these two takes playing Teh as Akin, so two levels down, acting as an actor (Teh), and that actor also playing a role (Akin), is just...how is he only 21 and playing at this level?

I'm gushing over the acting, but I want to ask some meta questions as well. Are we supposed to believe that Teh is a good actor? Because he can't seem to make certain types of feeling believable unless he actually feels them. I know method and this whole idea of immersion in the character is supposed to be this elite technique, but I'm with Laurence Olivier on this: My dear boy, why don’t you just try acting? Acting is about pretending to be a character and making the audience believe. Teh can't pretend it seems, at least when it comes to making certain character emotions believable. And I think that's a function of the fact that Teh's own emotions are a complete mystery to him, so how can he understand his character's? If Teh is really going to become an actor, if this is truly his dream and not just something he has to do because he has nothing else, he will have to put real, sustained effort into understanding himself, knowing himself, which he has done basically everything to avoid across this entire story.