forestshroom

[forestshroom]

[forestshroom]

The only thing keeping me from offing myself is knowing my dad would be left with a car payment he can’t afford bc he co-signed for me. That’s literally it. I just don’t care about anything anymore. It’s such a slow process, I didn’t even recognize what was happening until I was right back where I told myself I’d never be again.

I just want to feel okay. Nothing EVER feels okay and I’m constantly worried about everything around me, every one around me and my brain never shuts off. Five years ago I was so ready for a fresh start and I was so happy to try and start my life but now I just want to drive off every highway bridge I drive over. Nobody understands, nobody cares, and I can’t even get a text back from anyone because I’ve pushed them all away.

Can’t find a therapist in my area, I have no one to talk to and I’m working a customer service job with two bosses who make me feel like they despise my very existence. I don’t even feel like I can get back to school like I had planned in the spring because I can’t even get up the energy to change my clothes half the time. I am falling apart and I feel like absolutely nobody will take the time to notice.

My dad almost died last month and was in the hospital for 22 days after an emergency surgery. My uncle passed unexpectedly this year. My sister is struggling and constantly asking me for financial help. I just, can’t keep myself together anymore. I’m already an empty shell running on caffeine and the knowledge id put my parents into debt if I died. But I have absolutely zero drive anymore, and I’m only 24 so that’s really fucking sad. No matter how hard I try to improve, I end up back where I started. I’m cycling, I can’t break it, and I’m just fucking done, man. I just want it all to end, I’m sick of trying to fix something that seems permanently fucking broken.

[forestshroom]

Washington // Paige Vincent

[forestshroom]

[forestshroom]

[forestshroom]

I am an absolute mess in love

And I think I always will be. Broken can’t even begin to explain

How you left me. And someone else entering my life has brought it all back to the surface.

I wasn’t healed. Fuck

[forestshroom]

[forestshroom]

[forestshroom]

1938

[forestshroom]

1.pat the bunny, I'm not a good person // 2. // 3. mitski, a pearl, art by @hauntedomens // 4.hieu minh nguyen, buffet etiquette // 5.art from pinterest // 6.christa wolf tr. by jan van heurck, cassandra: a novel and four essays // 7.extracurricular (2020) dir.kim jin min // 8.louise bourgeois, destruction of the father/reconstruction of the father: writings and interviews 1923-1997 // 9.alice osman, radio silence // mitski, fireworks, art by uol.art (on insta)

[forestshroom]

sometimes do you ever just want to

[forestshroom]

When you change, don’t announce it. Just bloom.

[forestshroom]

Emily Dickinson's Herbarium

[forestshroom]

Clementine Von Radics, from In A Dream You Saw A Way To Survive; “You are on the floor crying”

[forestshroom]

🌱🌿🍃☘️🍀🌳🌲⛰️

[forestshroom]

“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

— Maya Angelou

[forestshroom]