fmdeunsu

[fmdeunsu]

hi everyone! my mental health hasn’t been the greatest these past few days, so i’ve decided to take a hiatus to regroup. thank you for your patience & understanding, and i hope to return better than before ♡

#ooc :: 꿈의 출처

[fmdeunsu]

fmdtaejin​:

there’s champagne that’s rigid against his throat — two glasses down, and an empty one weaved against his fingers. the lights in the room too bright, just fixed enough for the cameras to lay their woes and report back to the cuts and edits of painting idols into normality. 

he’s used to it all by now.

enough that a few more hours till the subdues into a quiet lull when his body’s lingering outside to accept moments slipped away from staff on board. yet, when a voice calls it reels his spine on edge — staged and ready for the picture primed efforts. a turn of his torso, and the view of a friendlier figure leaves rolls his spine back with an extension of a hello inside a grin.

“however many hours, and i’m glad they’ve cleared out the outside enough that i don’t have to worry of playing a role for the cameras here.” laughter brims past his mouth, eyes roving over each finite detail of the tweed surrounding his childhood. “viard needs to be fired.” taejin shoots the comment, voice held stern by the arch of his brow. “she’s doing a pale imitation of what lagerfeld has done his entire career — it’s like the same thing happening at saint laurent currently where anthony vaccarello’s just continuing it in a cheap mimicry of slimane.” it’s the first honest conversation he’s held close tonight, the boldness of each word ironing out the edges of frayed nerves caused by the suffocation of day to night cameras. 

taejin sets aside the glass on an abandoned table — the continuation of slow movements, arms across his chest and his eyes casted down to the details of the shoes. “i suppose you’re doing it justice, better than i ever could. unfortunately, i don’t have the frame for it.” mediocrity inside humor, his eyes wave back to his tall frame, an eager chuckle that trails. he pauses momentarily, a mutual camaraderie lined in the indulgence of fashion: priceless. “i hope you’re buying  out so chanel with that origin money doesn’t have to burn more tweed at the end of each season.”

eunsu bites back a laugh at taejin’s blunt words. it’s sharp and refreshing — a palate cleanser, something silver and carbonated that cuts through the haze brought by the languid amble of conversations he’s been having with the idols back inside, cautious and pleasant and interspersed with quick glances towards the positioning of the cameras. eunsu thrives in honesty; pretense makes him uncomfortable — his own inability to be anything other than face value being a primary factor. he’d much rather say what he means and step on some toes than try to stumble through a stilted, elaborate dance of platitudes and veiled remarks.  

“different domains,” he replies with a grin and a shake of his head. “i don’t have the height or proportions to pull off your looks from this month’s harper’s bazaar. some fits are locked exclusively for people with shoulders exceeding 50cm, and it shows.”

stepping in front of railing wrapped around the deck, eunsu leans his elbows on the uppermost bar and props his chin in his hand. “with how much i spend on that house, the wertheimer brothers could at least cut me a share,” he jokes, eyes darting sideways towards taejin with his mouth formed in the beginnings of a pout. “although,” he pauses, and his mind wanders back to taejin’s earlier comment. “maybe that’s part of it — chanel being privately owned. it could lessen the pressure of having to innovate.” he plays with the hem of his sleeve, passes his thumb over its embroidery. “lagerfeld secured the house that gabrielle built, and now viard is in charge of maintaining its legacy. she’s no alessandro michele. she’s not bursting with that kind of emotion or experimentation. i don’t think she wants to push boundaries so much as paint within a gilded framework. why risk improving on what sells?”

he realizes as he trails off that he’s thinking about his own work, about origin, this unlikely behemoth they’ve become in the last seven years. unlike others, eunsu’s never had ambitions for a solo career, content just to stay within the bounds of the role he played, where it was safe, where he knew what the expectations were. things like artistry, creativity — to him those words felt like hollow concepts, pretty paint used to dress up products for the market. “the problem is when it stops selling.” he quirks his mouth. “what did you think of the leggings at the last métiers?” 

#threads :: #ch :: taejin #fmdfantasycruise

[fmdeunsu]

fmdrian​:

[...]

her eyes trail from the staff to linger above their shoulder, tips her head at eunsu, and flicks her fingers at her side. go, i’ll be right behind you.

his miracle arrives with the soft click of a door opening and a two-fingered salute. it’s years of image training ingrained in his muscle memory that keeps his expression neutral, that stops his eyes from widening and stifles the flash of glee from showing on his face. there’s a dispatch transmitted in the glance they exchange, understanding passing between them quick and electric before he turns back to the camera and she ducks back inside. mission start. eunsu remembers the dark glint in her eyes and bites back a laugh, recognizing that look and pitying the two men who probably only wanted an extra soundbite to their credit but were unlucky enough to stand in the way of choi rian. 

it’s easy to play along with the interview after that. eunsu runs on autopilot, feeding them lines they want to hear and wondering what rian has planned, a frisson of anticipation running through him like the first whiff of ozone before a storm.

running with rian had always felt like that—like building a world within a hurricane. year after year, the two of them stumbled through downpours with hands held tight. refuge and anchor and lighthouse rolled into one. two wild, rain-drenched things who found each other and called it home, fused together by fierce devotion and something a little like fate, speaking to the part of him that recognized rian at first sight, that missed her before she came into his life, that held on like she would vanish if he let go.

theirs is a reckless kind of love, the kind that would tear down the sun to stay by each other’s side. what are a few cameramen to that kind of commitment?

rian appears—descends—before them like a basket-bearing angel of vengeance, all sugar sweet softness hiding the metal claws of a carefully laid trap. eunsu watches with a small smirk as the two cameramen sink in the honey of her words, their attention caught in the palm of her hand. in the midst of this, there’s a moment where rian’s gaze slides to meet eunsu’s, where she signals for him to go. backing away with soft steps, eunsu mouths ‘love you’ and slips out in the opening she made for him. don’t be long.

ten minutes later, eunsu waits for rian at the pier, phone in hand in case he receives an sos and has to rush back in. in the meantime, he’s sweet-talked a taxi driver into waiting for them by the curb, saving the trouble of having to hail one down and losing more time than they have already. he knows he’s being dramatic, making a fuss over a handful of minutes, but when else would they be able to travel together? explore a city with a semblance of freedom, unburdened by work? he looks down at his blank phone screen, waiting for a message to pop up and feeling the beginning traces of worry stir in his stomach. “rian-ah,” he mumbles, chewing on his lower lip, “did you manage to get out ok?”

#threads :: #ch :: rian #fmdfantasycruise #// not me crying at how beautiful your writing is yeon i'm chest deep in riansu feelings

[fmdeunsu]

january 1st :: @junseofmd busan, south korea

eunsu loves the new year. loves how the first day feels like standing on the precipice of something, possibility stretching out like an endless chasm beneath his feet. more diving board than blank slate—if he were to fit a metaphor around it. he doesn’t want to start over, he wants to do more. it’s the expansion of a canvas widening to fit his his scribbles, and eunsu has always been insatiable. he remembers tearing through sketchbooks, colored cray-pas squeezed in fist, during his sun-soaked preschool days. always rushing to the next page, making his mark and moving on, eyes fixed forward.

today, eunsu stands 20 stories above the mouth of a bay in busan, harness strapped securely around his waist and thighs. go-pro in hand, he turns to flash a grin at junseo, his friend, family, and partner in crime. “our manager-hyung’s gonna kill us,” he says, a laugh bubbling in his throat.

it’s less than an hour until they’re supposed to be back on the ship, until they’re to be sat in makeup chairs, prepped and fitted for their fansign at 10:30. technically they’re not supposed to be out in town at all, but eunsu was insistent. he wanted the first thing he did on the first day of the new year to be something he never tried before. hence why they’re at a bungee jumping facility just past sunrise. “you scared?” he calls, louder over the sound of the wind. he doesn’t clarify if he means the height or sneaking out, both sends sparks skipping through his bloodstream, chasing away the remnants of grogginess from yesterday’s long night. “it’s not too late to turn back,” he teases.

#threads :: #ch :: junseo #fmdfantasycruise

[fmdeunsu]

december 26th :: @fmdjiah holiday ball (observation lounge) 

eunsu can’t remember the last time he decorated a gingerbread house. in any case, it would have probably been for a reality show. he can see it now—the table set up in front of the production team’s cameras, the carefully prepared materials, the long mics poised and held just above frame, waiting to catch every comment and exclamation from him and his members as they fumbled to make something with a timer ticking in the background. work disguised as play.

this is not that.

“no matter what i do, the walls keep leaning,” he pouts, stabilizing his house with his fingers and looking up helplessly at jiah. “i’m thinking of substituting frosting for glue. they’re both white, no one would know the difference.” he casts a look at the plate of sugar cookies on the table. “should i just give up and decorate the cookies instead? i feel like cookies won’t require half the engineering this is needing.” 

eunsu takes the chance to lift his fingers, then laughs when his house tilts and collapses. it doesn’t matter what they’re doing. whenever eunsu is around jiah, he feels his entire person relax, shrugging off the pressures of performing, of presenting himself as someone larger than life. he feels human, in all of the graceless, mundane ways that entails.  

#threads :: #ch :: jiah #fmdfantasycruise #// eunsu is unfortunately Not Joking about the glue

[fmdeunsu]

december 29th :: @fmdxsuji​ suji and rian’s suite

eunsu didn’t expect to run into suji when he’d come downstairs to look for rian, but in retrospect, that was probably silly of him. he’d known they were roommates. it’s just that now, he can’t help but see how his connection with suji is always mediated in some way by their mutual closeness to rian. she had been their bridge when they first started talking post-debut, and now she was the reason why it was just the two of them here, her not being in the suite prompting eunsu to say that he’d wait for her to come back if suji didn’t mind him sticking around.

it’s not like they weren’t friends—him and suji. after six years of being in the same circles, both in the industry and their personal lives, they’d naturally gotten close, pulled with a kind of gravity made by neighboring orbits. they were friends, but situations like this didn’t happen often, where they were paired up and left by themselves. before, he had been filling the room with his usual easy chatter, but the realization of this now makes him pause. something inside him that had long stayed quiet sees the opportunity and presses insistently for his attention, pushing at his chest to be let out.

“congrats on our songs,” he blurts out, a random non sequitur from what they were talking about before. “i watched all the broadcasts. you were amazing. i mean of course, everyone did amazing,” he says, feeling the words tumble out of his mouth like they had been waiting to do ever since the credits rolled for the final episode, “but i loved your songs the most. don’t tell hwan i said that though.” he grins, but the smile falters a bit with the vulnerability of his next words. “to be honest, i’m a bit jealous. watching the program made me see how much you love music. you have such a great relationship with it; the songwriting process felt like watching a conversation between old friends.” he catches himself before he says the next part, how even after seven years, his own relationship with music feels more distant than strangers. “it was inspiring,” he says instead, the tips of his ears tinging red with rare embarrassment.   

#threads :: #ch :: suji #fmdfantasycruise #// i rambled for way too long lol no pressure at all to match!

[fmdeunsu]

december 26th :: @fmdtaejin​ holiday ball

the sounds of the party dim into a low murmur as he steps further from the main piazza. opening the doors to the outside decks, he’s met headfirst with a breeze, cooling his face which throughout the evening has gotten progressively flushed from the constant stream of wine and socialization. he’s halfway into a stretch when he notices a familiar figure and makes his way over.  

“it’s considerate how they’re only filming a portion of the actual ball,” he says as a greeting, voice light with the happy buoyancy of running into a friend. “just enough footage for people to show off their sponsors and collect checks before getting shitfaced.”

“as for me, i thought i’d use the chance to court viard.” he laughs as he gestures at his clothes, a deep burgundy jacket in chanel’s signature tweed. underneath, a white ruffled blouse is tucked into a pair of black trousers and cinched at the waist with a thin, quilted belt. all chanel. “not that she’d see,” he sighs, long and exaggerated, like a lover scorned. “i don’t even think she’s on social media.” he turns to taejin, a playful smile tugging the corners of his mouth. “as an ambassador, what do you think?” he opens his arms for judgement. “did i do her collection justice?”

theirs is a recent friendship, born out of a mutual taste for the expensive and the beautiful and a habit of indulging where the two overlapped. chanel is an old love of eunsu’s, one from back when he could only admire through glossy magazines, imagining himself in the model’s bouclé and pearls, draped in the same effortless chic. after he debuted, after origin started to earn more money than he could spend, eunsu filled his closet with the brand, undeterred by how it was still categorized as womenswear. maybe that was also what drew him to taejin, recognizing there a similar commitment to what one liked, self-assured and unapologetic. an admiration that merged with affinity to have what they have today. 

#threads :: #ch :: taejin #fmdfantasycruise #// let me know if you need anything changed <3

[fmdeunsu]

december 27th :: @fmdrian​ taipei, taiwan (6pm)

eunsu drums his fingers on the burnished gold handlebar of the cruise ship elevator. impatience gnaws at him as he eyes the changing digits above the door. taking out his phone from his pocket, he sends a quick text to rian:

↳ sorry i’m running late, the filming crew wouldn’t let me goㅠㅠ i’m almost at your floor!!

when eunsu heard that there would be cameras on board, filming the idols in their down-time, he’d barely blinked. origin’s close relationship with their fans was in large part due to their accessibility, a marketing strategy built on a consistent stream of behind-the-scenes content that pulled the curtain back wider and for longer than most other companies would expose their own idols. after seven years, he’s gotten used to it—the flashing, red dot in the corner of his eye and the constant, low-grade awareness that he’s being filmed.

normally, he thrives in the attention. he’s more than happy to entertain, to charm, to see his footage used in the final cut of whatever clip gets released. it’s just that today, he made plans with rian—his closest friend and most favorite person in the world. anything that stands in the way of their time together, he can’t help but see as an obstacle. 

as if on cue, the doors dings open to reveal two staff members leaning on the banister with their cameras propped up on tripods. eunsu smooths over a grimace and bows, flashing a bright smile when he straightens up and walking briskly out the elevator, hoping that they’re off-duty and willing to let him pass by. he spots rian’s suite number a few paces away and considers just texting her to meet him outside. that would probably be easier—

“eunsu-ssi?”

eunsu swivels around at the sound of the staff member’s voice. when he sees them moving to turn on their cameras, he inwardly screams.

“good timing! we were just looking for someone to interview and shadow for the rest of the evening. how has the cruise been for you so far? could you give us your thoughts on yesterday’s holiday ball?”

“i—” eunsu opens his mouth and closes it, blanking on what to say, half-praying for a miracle to drop in and distract them long enough so he can escape.

#threads :: 실(實)삶 #ch :: rian #fmdfantasycruise #// pls don't feel like you need to match omg;; i got excited for riansu shenanigans and went overboard

[fmdeunsu]

fmdyeonggi​:

with: open, dec 25, ~rehearsals.

he wears his glasses to rehearse because contacts couldn’t be bothered with at roughly 9am. nor could anything more than brushing his hair, throwing on a limp sweater and pair of jeans. yeonggi had looked better, much better. beyond being tired throughout his rehearsal, he’s miserable from the extenuating circumstances in his life, and therefore, seems out of it. not to mention the flight here becoming a fatiguing experience. it’s entirely his fault but hardly intentional or conscious when he’s treking down the steps of the stage with a sigh and ends up barreling into someone around the corner. he goes face first, torso to torso — the collision knocks his knees and he grunts, unfortunately his glasses fling off in the process. if he weren’t weary to the point of depletion he would seem more concerned or startled, more frantic, but instead he just discharges a rugged sigh. 

“i’m sorry,” it’s emancipated from emotion and sounds like a man who hadn’t slept in 3 years, the smile he pairs it with is tiny and misfortunate, soft, sheepish calamity playing over his face. “it was a long flight and a long morning. i hope you won’t be late for your stage,” since the members of charm are shifting down and he suspects another group will replace them. with a pinched expression, he glances around for his spectacles which seem to have entirely vanished. “oh great. i’m sorry but i can’t find my glasses…”

eunsu hates red-eye flights with a passion normally reserved for mosquitoes and lids that don’t close all the way. with the roar of the plane’s engines and the knowledge that he’d have to wake up for rehearsal two hours after touching down in hong kong, he’d barely gotten any sleep during the ride here, stealing only snatches of it when he could. he’s bleary eyed as he tugs on a mask, dons a pair of sunglasses, and pulls the string of his hoodie tight around his face. he looks ridiculous, but hopefully that’ll be enough to hide the worst of his eye-bags and bloat from the cameras—why were there cameras recording the rehearsals anyways?

he mumbles something about the brutal minds of reality show producers, speech slurred by exhaustion. thankfully his grip around the iced americano in his hand is fairly tight, which is why when he turns the corner and bumps full-bodied into another person, the contents of his cup only slosh slightly over the opening at the top, staining the front of his hoodie and nothing else.

“no worries,” he replies, smiling in sympathy at the sound of the other person’s sigh. “it’s one of those days. rehearsals don’t start till later for me—did you guys just finish?”

he looks down at the mention of the missing glasses. “right! it couldn’t have gone far...” he scans their feet for the object and finds it skewed on its side a few paces away.

“one sec! i’ll go grab it.”

#threads :: 실(實)삶 #ch :: yeonggi #fmdfantasycruise

[fmdeunsu]

hi everyone! i’m euna, a fresh face to famed and so excited to be here! this is eunsu, a vocalist in origin who gets a lot of flak for not being the best singer... or dancer... but he’s funny! and charming! and he’ll do his best to win you over anyways. he’s also from the countryside—as he’s more than happy to remind other seoul city slickers—and holds his small village as a point of pride. here’s his profile if you want to learn more as well as some available plots. i’ve also summarized his bio under the cut. thank you for your messages, and i look forward to meeting all your characters!! 

(+) traits: lovable, free-spirited, devoted, honest, observant, flirt (-) traits: needy, hedonistic, unfocused, sensitive, impulsive, jumps to conclusions

ha eunsu - born in hwabon village, a small rural community tucked near the mountains of gyeongsang province

his mom came down from the city when she was pregnant with him and basically dropped him on his grandparent’s doorsteps 

still he grew up with lots of love from the local grannies and village residents who saw him as part of their own family; he was endlessly doted on for his cute face and cheerful personality

unfortunately though this made him Need To Be Loved To Survive and even now he withers like a plant when he doesn’t have enough

his childhood friend was obsessed with becoming an idol and pulled him along to an audition bc entertainment held in daegu

his friend didn’t pass but eunsu won over the judges despite his lack of skill/experience (like the way kim sohye won over the general public during p101)

some staff member said some pretty words about idols being people’s hopes and dreams and in return receiving the love of thousands of people

and it got eunsu hook line and sinker

moved to seoul at the age of 12 to become a trainee; trained at bc for around 6 years

almost made the lineup for knight but something from his personal life made him unable to focus during the critical time of evaluations

considered folding his dreams of becoming an idol but then bc announced a trainee exchange with gold star media and he decided ok let’s give it one more go

kinda thrived during the survival program that created origin ngl; he has a natural ease around cameras and people and high pressure situations

ended up debuting and it was great until it wasn’t because apparently the rebellious hip hop idol concept doesn’t have mass market appeal

eunsu did the most during their rookie years—going all out with the hair bleach, the gg dances, the variety gags, the fanservice, the airport fashion—anything to help their group get recognized

things started getting better after their first win, but the increase in attention also meant an increase in scrutiny

eunsu was targeted for being origin’s weakest link in terms of talent

aka lots of trending posts about his pitchy vocal performances and stiff dancing/choreo mistakes 

and yeah eunsu’s tired...but really it’s worth it for the euphoria of those stadium concerts where he can feel the physical proof of tens of thousands of people pouring their love towards the stage, towards him

you can read his full bio here!

#ooc :: 꿈의 출처

[fmdeunsu]

suffering from cheek kisses deficiency (self diagnosed)

#musings :: 미로 속에서

[fmdeunsu]

no one does it like park jimin

#visuals :: 날 닮은 그림자