fishcakeshellscape

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TUMBLR IS SHOWING ME GERMAN VIAGRA ADS

#this is why i still have tumblr

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i’m dropping out of college to do this

#maybe i did drop out of college for a reason #now it's time for me to begin scrapbooking

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Me and my mutuals rebloging the same post

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cmon girlies we’re picking out a 10k+ single chapter fic on ao3 to read stomach down head turned towards our phones held next to our pillows as we move only our thumbs to scroll until our sedatives knock us out

#okay but i literally fell asleep reading fanfics last night #as i should

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#damn can't believe i gotta throw out the whole account and take after my father #who was gonna tell me????

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These scenes fit too well with that audio 😂

Credit to: hei_anson on Twitter

#im losing my mind pls

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Tips if you want to start writing

Rat ultrasound

#rultrasound

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makes you imagine the sound of a bowling ball striking pins

#jokes on you #when i shake my head that's what my brain rattlingly around sounds like

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#ah yes #only the finest for the guests

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Happy Pride, monsterfuckers.

#i love the kraken social media tbh #its so great

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#we SHOULD dunk on Columbus #I've said it once and it'll say it again #i WILL fistfight his ghost or in hell #whichever i encounter first #Christopher Columbus if you see this i think you're a BITCH and i hate you :)

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how would you die in willy wonka's chocolate factory

id lie to his face until he mustered up the courage to kill me himself

#i asked my friends this once #i decided that my death would be that i tried to befriend the Oompa Loompas but we have a language barrier #and i accidentally offend them and they sacrifice me to the cocoa bean #im talking Johnny Depp Willy Wonka #Gene Wilder Willy Wonka would obliterate me for accidentally bumping into a machine #and then throw me into the candy making machine that he pedals

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The last thing you ate + the first thing you see when you look to your left is the title of your pretentious lifestyle blog.

Right now, mine would be called Pizza and Prints.

#i was gonna say mine was pizza and sink #but i realized the sink was to my right #and i had forgotten my rights and lefts #again.

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Not pictured: me, yanking the steering wheel to screech into a parking lot so I could take a pic of this while my sisters and I absolutely lost it upon seeing this truck

#get in homo we're getting married #ah yes #the lesbian uhaul truck #i just imagined my very lesbian gf pulling up to my house in this like #or some shit like that #and honestly i love it

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#TATIIIIIIIIIIIIIS #I LOVE HIM #i usually dont post about sports #(and i dont actually even like baseball) #but this is SO COOL #AND SO IS HE

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THE MIRACULOUS LOVERS

Okay guys!!!! This is my first digital painting ever !

Was a first try so don’t expect it to be perfect ... :’) but it still cute tho ^\\^

Hope u’ll like it!

#im reblogging this to show my gf later bc its so cute

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#me attempting to befriend my gfs cats be like