feliciahardyn - Tumblr blog

feliciahardyn · 3 years

Text

my drug is my baby

full masterlist / commission open / support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x female!reader

Word count: 1,506

Warning: SMUT!! (18+), use of toys, handcuffs, vibrators, mild bondage.

Summary: written for @celestialbarnes' 4k writing challenge. congrats raachel! you deserve it love ♡ . bucky came home from a mission and found a toy in your drawer that kept you satisfied while he was away. he decided to take advantage of it.

a/n: it's been awhile since i wrote a filthy one shot. enjoy! please leave a like, comment and reblog! :)

You stood in the middle of the room, anticipating his return. “Stay here and don’t move,” he whispered in your left ear, awakening the chills that ran down your spine. You only nodded in response and obeyed him. Your thoughts were racing, eager to find out what he had in store for you. Bucky had always had a way to keep things exciting in the bedroom, but this time, he took it to another level and you didn’t know whether you should be nervous or thrilled. (Thrilled, you were mostly thrilled.)

Since you began dating him, you learned that Bucky could be intense and passionate in making love. He tended to be more dominant, but he always had his limits and he’d never let himself hurt you. Until one night, you were reading an erotic novel while he was away on a mission and you needed something to relieve yourself, so you utilized that buzzing toy you kept in your drawer but never had the chance to play with (why would you when you have the sexiest and most generous lover?) and lost yourself in the fantasy of you and Bucky doing the scenario that the two characters were doing in that page.

Bucky found that toy a few days later once he came home and he was looking for his key and he had you pinned on the mattress that night for three hours. The next day, you and he were cuddling on the couch only in your underwear and you nervously told him about a fantasy you had while he was gone. Bucky was initially ambivalent about it, but the more he thought about it and the more you assured him that you were okay with it, that you wanted it, the more interested he was in the idea.

So here you were, staring at the wall, bare and cold from the air conditioner of the room, waiting in the dark, the only thing that illuminated your view was the city lights and the moon from the window. You were worried that Bucky changed his mind but Bucky was a man of his words and he was willing to try new things with you. Including- no, no, especially sexual activities.

You heard his footsteps from behind you and you couldn’t help but tingle from his presence. You wanted to turn your head to look at him but you didn’t want to disobey him. He stopped in front of you, his darkened eyes looked into yours as he took one of your hands and locked something around it. You looked down and saw that an old prisoner handcuff hung from both of your wrists now.

Bucky slightly pushed you back until the back of your legs hit the bottom of the bed, and he brought your hands up so he could attach the chains of the handcuffs to the wooden rod that was part of the bedframe. Once the chains were securely attached, Bucky stared into your eyes and kissed you deeply, his mouth devouring yours, tangling both of your tongues.

He backed away to admire the work of art in front of him, exposed and vulnerable just for him. His heart swelled with pride to know that only he could touch and see you this way. Bucky walked closer to you again and he pulled down the one last item that was still clothing your body and it was the black lace thong you bought a month ago at Victoria’s Secret.

Your legs stepped out of the thong once it hits the floor and Bucky brought it to his nose, inhaling your scent that intoxicated him. Watching him smell your underwear made you breathless, it was so lewd yes so fucking sexy. Bucky put it in the pocket of his sweatpants, then he reached for something on the bed and it was the vibrator that led to this moment. You were flustered and your eyes dilated, you truly never expected Bucky to ever use it on you.

You could see the smirk on his face at your reaction, oh how you wanted to wipe that smug sneer off his face but it only turns you on even more. The hold this man had on you…

Bucky turned on the magic wand and the sound of buzzing made you dizzy. He pressed it to your clit, making you whimper at the way it stimulates your cunt. He pushed it further into you and moved it up and down in your vagina, making you squirm. You tried to shut your legs but he slapped your butt, not too hard but just enough to alert you. “I didn’t tell you to close them,” he warned.

You could only mewl in response, you closed your eyes and let him toy your arousal as your thighs began to shake. He dialled up the speed, bringing you closer to the edge. “Look at you, I’ve barely even touched you yet you’re already a shaking mess,” he chuckled. “Now I understand why you love this thing. Seems like I can make you wet without even laying a finger on you, huh?”

“Oh, fuck, Bucky please…”

“Are you close, baby?” he sultrily whispered in your ear as he trailed kisses from your jaw, down to your neck, making you gasp. “Does my baby wanna cum already?”

“Yes, I’m so close, Buck…” you pathetically whined.

He chuckled, then he dialled up the speed to maximum and his other flesh hand made its way into your hair, grabbing it and pulling it back, allowing him to have easier access into your throat. He bit your sensitive spot, leaving a small bruise there as you cried out from your orgasm. The vibrator was still buzzing between your legs as you began to come down from your high, then Bucky turned it off and threw it on the bed.

“Now it’s my turn to make you cum,” he stripped himself out of the sweatpants and his boxer and kicked them aside on the floor. His thick cock sprung free, glistening with pre-cum that always made you want to wrap your lips around it. He stroked his cock a few times and then kissed you slovenly, leaving you breathless once again. He didn’t waste any time in hosting your thighs and wrapped them around his waist.

He used your wetness as lube to make it easier for him to slide in. When he was slick enough from your juices, Bucky lined his cock to your entrance, then he pushed inside until he was fully sheathed by your walls. He groaned in your ear, giving you time to adjust to his size. Bucky started with a slow pace, moving his hips back and forth in shallow thrusts. Once your moans grew louder, Bucky grabbed a fistful of your hair and kissed you as he fucked you harder.

“Baby, you feel so fucking good around me,” you wailed as his cock brushed your sweet spot, causing your head to spin. You looked down to see where your bodies were connected, watching the way his cock disappeared in and out of you. You could feel the bulge in your stomach, making the knot in your abdomen tight. His metal arm that was on your hip made its way to your front, finding your clit and he rubbed it in circles furiously, making you clench around him.

Bucky groaned as he kept dominating your mouth and you could feel your heartbeat pounded against your ribcage, unable to think of anything else but him. Your thighs shook and your toes curled, the echoes of your cries were music to his ears. A few more hard pounds, and you felt your climax approaching, making you feel hazy. “Cum for me, baby, c’mon,” his voice, his touch and his cock drove you off the edge, the tightening coil in your stomach shattered as you screamed in pleasure, your orgasm hits you like waves of ecstasy, making you see stars.

Bucky snapped his hips vigorously and then he followed you to a place of euphoria, spilling himself deep in your womb, painting your walls in white. You both panted as he was still buried in you, Bucky kissed you once again to calm you down but this time, it was soft and sensual, instead of dominating. Once you began to regain composure from the aftershocks of pleasure, Bucky retreated himself out of you and he unchained the cuffs from the wooden bar and unlocked them off you.

“Are you okay?” he huskily questioned as he held you close to his chest, kissing your temple.

“More than okay.” you smiled, weary yet satisfied. Feeling safe in the arms of your lover who was glistening from sweat as you were. The warmth of his body soothed you.

“Let’s clean you up, hm?”

“Yeah, but afterwards… Maybe some tacos? That really drained me but now I’m famished,” you looked up at him, smiling contently at the man who just made you writhe.

“Sure. Anything for you, baby doll.”

tagging some of my favorite writers; @celestialbarnes @jobean12-blog @buckycuddlebuddy @buckyblues @starsvck @sebstan-simp @saiyanprincessswanie @extremelyblackandwhite @cjsinkythoughts @baezen @balenciagabucky @onceuponabarnes @notborkybarnes @bucksbestgirl @badassbuchanan @wannabeschyulersister @golden-barnes @buckys-black-dress @buckybarnesplumwhore @chris-butt

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feliciahardyn · 3 years

Text

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 4: hell was the journey but it brought me heaven (final)

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,943

Summary: blessed with telepathic abilities since birth, you were captured by HYDRA and turned into one of their weapons to kill. after the blip, you were pardoned by the government and you were obliged to check up with dr. raynor everyday which you had no clue would lead you to the one soul you’d been waiting for.

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) dirty talk, oral (female receiving), fingering, shower sex, happy ending.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

You sat on the front porch as your fingers flipped through the page of the romance novel you had your nose in. It was a beautiful day, the weather wasn’t too hot or too cold, perfect to spend hours escaping into a story outside. Alpine purred on the chair where Bucky would sit if he was here but he wasn’t because he was on an overseas mission with Sam and though you offered to come with him, Tony said that it would be best if you sat this one out. You didn’t take it personally, however, it was hard to be separated from him for nearly a month.

Bucky said he’d be coming home soon and though the mission kept delaying them to come home, Bucky called and texted you every day to let you know that he was alright and how far on completing the mission had they gone. You were glad that Sam and Bucky had each other while you weren’t around to take care of him because you knew that Sam was the only person who could ground him other than you.

You and Bucky had been together for nearly five months now, after your recovery in Wakanda and adjusting to the new life of being superheroes, you both decided that you wanted to settle in a more remote place. All of the Avengers had their own places outside of the compound so you thought, why don’t you get yours? You talked about getting your own place in Brooklyn but eventually, you came to a decision where somewhere in the country would be better for both of your mental beings, while also still residing in the New York area so that you’d be ready in case there are emergency missions.

Since moving to the countryside, you had felt much more at peace and you had learned more about yourself than before. You were in the middle of the process of moving in when Bucky was needed by Tony to take care of an international matter with Sam, so Tony helped call in some people to help you with your stuff.

The place you had with Bucky was lovely, it wasn’t anything big or swanky, it was simply a rural rustic home that blends woods and stones as the foundation. It had a large loft where you placed your bed, and the roof had upper windows which shed lights into the entire room. It was even more stunning at night where you could see the stars and the moon that illuminated the dark space. From the veranda, you could enjoy the beautiful view of greenery and the lake surrounding you. It was heaven, but most importantly, it was your and Bucky’s little heaven.

You’d often feel lonely living in the cabin, so you decided to adopt a cat while Bucky was away. You didn’t tell him because you wanted it to be a surprise. You named her Alpine. You’d always wanted to have a pet and now that you had your own place, you could have one without worrying it would bother anyone.

You talked to Bucky this morning and he estimated that he’d be coming home in two days, which means he’d be home by his birthday. You couldn’t think of a more perfect gift than this adorable, blue-eyed cat. It was as if she got them from her dad whom she had yet to meet. You also wanted to make his birthday and celebrate his coming home more special so you put down the book and went to the grocery store in town that afternoon to shop for the ingredients to bake a cake.

You had learned a lot of new things after you moved here, and baking was quickly becoming your hobby, so you were excited to utilize that new skill to surprise the love of your life. You spent the next day in the kitchen so once Bucky walked through the front door, the cake would be ready to be served. You were giddy thinking about the look on his face and how proud you would feel to make him happy with something you made of your own.

You were lying on your couch with Alpine by your feet, reading the book that you didn’t get to finish yesterday when you heard your phone notifying you a text had been received.

I’m outside, babydoll.

You instantly got up from your couch and put your book on the table. Your first thought this morning was Bucky would back to your arms this afternoon and you were ecstatic. You had missed him terribly and you wanted to curl up in his embrace and never let him go. He was your anchor and you were his rock, you both needed each other to get through the days. How you managed to survive so long without him was beyond you.

You chose a nice outfit, nothing fancy just a simple sundress that you feel your best in, put on some makeup and did your hair. Though you didn’t have a clue on makeup products, let alone apply them all over your face, you did spend a handful of times watching Youtube for guidance. You knew you didn't have to put all that effort to keep Bucky in love with you but you wanted to do something nice for him. For the first time in forever, you were a free woman who was allowed to make her own choices, you were going to revel in exploring them.

You opened the door and there he was, as handsome as the devil, as gentle as an angel. Everything about him captivated you yet, he soothed every nervous system in your body too. He was grinning at you like he had just won a prize and you couldn’t help but throw yourself at him as soon as the door was fully opened. “Bucky!”

He hugged you back, holding you so tightly to his chest and he kissed you as a lover would until you needed air. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” he swept the hair that was falling on your face, slightly hiding your beauty.

You smiled at his flattery, “I got a surprise for you…”

“A surprise?” He looked genuinely perplexed. “What’s the occasion?”

“It’s your birthday, silly. And to celebrate you coming home, of course, because I missed you so badly.”

“Sweetheart, you don't need to get me anything, you’re all the blessing I need in my life.”

“And you are mine, but you deserve more. So, close your eyes.” You ordered him like you were an excited 10 years old ready to show off her science project to her parents. He did as he was told and you took his hand and led him to the kitchen where his cake was sitting perfectly. “Don’t open your eyes until I tell you!”

He chuckled, “okay.”

Bucky trusted you wholeheartedly so he didn’t worry he’d walk into a wall or slam his hips to the kitchen counter as he was being led down to where his cake was. “Okay, now open your eyes.” He did so and he saw you standing behind the tiny dining table, near the kitchen chanting Ta-Da! Presenting a chocolate birthday cake, in the shape of a heart in front of you.

You lit up the candles that were in the shape of 106 and you brought the cake closer to him, “happy birthday, my love.”

Bucky was grinning from ear to ear, he couldn’t contain the happiness swelling in his heart. While he was on his bike, driving from the compound to his cabin-like home, all he expected was a warm shower and being tangled between the sheets with you. Since he was turned into The Winter Soldier, he no longer cared about birthdays or his age. Time felt blurry and all that mattered was his purpose in his life which is to make amends to the wrongs he committed during his winter soldier days and the few people that he cared about.

But now you were in his life, you were going to make sure his birthdays are special and that every second you both spent together was precious. “I got another surprise for you…” You walked to the couch to carry Alpine and when Bucky saw her, his eyes lit up.

“You got us a cat?!” You handed her to Bucky gently like a newborn baby and Bucky cradled her to his chest, looking like an affectionate father.

“I did. I felt lonely while you were away so I thought I’d get a pet now that we’ve got our own place and I saw her at the shelter when I went to town and she looked so adorable, I just had to take her home, Buck,” you watched Bucky lovingly stroke the cat’s ear.

“I never had a pet before…”

“I know, and neither had I so I thought, the three of us would make a wonderful family.”

“Thank you, doll. This is… This is the best birthday gift I could ever ask for.”

“You’re welcome, love. By the way, her name’s Alpine.”

Bucky nodded, “suits her.”

“Now, as delicious as that cake looks, I really need to take a shower, would you mind joining me?” Bucky held out his hand for you.

“There’s nothing else I’d rather do,” Bucky took your hand and carried you in bridal style to your bathroom, which had rustic walls like the rest of the house and dark brown sink vanity with a mirror at the centre above.

Bucky put you down and you both began stripping out of your clothes. You helped Bucky with his once yours were on the hanger because you wanted to feel him, really feel him now. Once only his boxer remained, you slid the shower glass door and you pulled him, giggling like teenagers trying to sneak out in the middle of the night as he struggled to take off his boxer with the way you were pulling him.

You turned on the shower, just warm enough to soothe your nerves and help Bucky relax. Bucky cupped your face and you both began making out, the stream of water made it difficult to keep your eyes open but you always got so lost in his kisses that you could never keep your eyes open even if you wanted to. It felt like heaven to feel those lips again after a month of his absence.

Bucky lifted you and you wrapped your legs around his waist. He slammed you to the bathroom glass as he dominated your mouth, his tongue tangled with yours as his vibranium arm leaned against the glass. Bucky trailed kissed to the column of your neck and you threw your head back, giving him easier access. He bit the skin, marking you as his.

The water kept flowing down and you both forgot what you were there for in the first place. “Oh, missed you so fucking much, doll.”

“I missed you too,” you said as you panted.

“Those nude pictures you sent weren’t helping either. Each time I see you naked, it went straight to my cock. It was torture not to have you right away.” Bucky put you down and kissed your body, down to your stomach until he reached the part where you needed him most. Bucky lifted your right leg onto his shoulder and kissed the inside of your thigh as he left a love bite with his teeth there too.

You didn’t mind, you were his as much as he was yours and you loved it when he got a little rough or possessive, though you knew Bucky would never hurt you and if he did, you wouldn’t hesitate in telling him. But you loved to walk around with his marks on you, you wore them proudly.

Bucky dipped his head to your core, tasting your arousal like a famished man. He had been deprived of your taste for a month, he wasn’t going to hold back. He could spend hours in between your legs if you let him and he’d never get tired of it. Bucky licked a stripe of your slit, making you throw your head back again and moan.

He grabbed your arse to keep you standing, with the way he was devouring you, your thighs began to shake, and you would’ve crumbled to the floor if he wasn’t holding you. You tugged his hair, keeping his face close to your cunt. You couldn’t help but grind yourself onto his face and you could feel him smirking.

The way his stubble grazed your delicate skin was tantalizing, you’d tried to close your legs a few times around his head but he always held them back. You could feel your muscles tightening, but before you could burst, Bucky put your leg to the floor and he stood up, kissing you again and you could taste your arousal all over his tongue. It was erotic yet intimate at the same time.

Bucky grabbed your hips and spun you around, you could feel his stiff member nudging you from behind as you both fought for dominance with your tongues. Bucky took a fistful of your hair and lifted your head back, once again trailing open-mouthed kisses to your throat. His fingers made their way down to your clit, rubbing it in circles furiously as if you weren’t soaked enough already from the way his tongue ingurgitated you.

You whimpered at his touch, the way he always knew how to light up every cell in your body with his touch was a wonder. It was as if your body had given itself completely to him and it was going to comply with whatever his touch tells you to do. Like the way you willingly bared your soul to him, you didn’t fight it at all, let the love and passion you had for each other consume you.

“You’re dripping all over my hand, doll.”

“I need you to fuck me now, please.” You were losing your mind with the way he was stimulating you, you needed to have him inside you now.

“Anything for you, baby.”

Bucky used your wetness to lubricate his member, making it easier for him to slide in. You leaned against the glass with your hands against it as he gripped your hip with his flesh hand and your shoulder with his vibranium one. Bucky pushed himself until he was fully sheathed and he groaned, “oh fuck, I ain’t gonna last long. Missed this tight cunt so much.”

Bucky gave you a few seconds to adjust to his size, and once you told him to move, he began with slow paces. You threw your head back and leaned against his shoulder as he kept thrusting in and out of you at a faster speed. Bucky moved his vibranium arm to your hip and wrapped his flesh hand around your jaw, directing it to his face so he could kiss you deeply.

The sounds of your skin slapping were salacious. Bucky felt you clenched around him and the coil in your stomach tightened. His fingers that were gripping your waist once again furiously rubbed your clit, igniting the fire in your muscles. Your cries grew louder as his rhythm began to falter, and the dam in you broke, your squirts streamed down your thighs, clouding your brain with pleasure.

Bucky started to get messy as he chased his own orgasm. He followed you to the place of euphoria, releasing himself deep inside you, panting your walls with hot white gush. Bucky leaned his forehead against the glass as he breathed heavily with his heart thumping against his chest. His weight on your back was comforting so you stayed there for a while until you both began to come down from your highs.

Bucky pulled out of you and his orgasm ran down your thighs, following yours. You turned around to face him and kiss him again. “That was fucking amazing,” Bucky said as he cleaned you up.

“I should be the one doing that, I wasn’t the one who just came home from a one month mission,” you retorted as you watched him going down to scrub your thighs where your juices were sticking on your skin.

“Well, now that I’m here, let me take care of my girl, will ya?”

You only chuckled and eventually, you both helped rinsed each other off. Once the shower was done, Bucky dried you with a towel and carried you to your bed, which he had yet to sleep on since it got here.

Life was a funny thing. Sometimes it dragged you down to hell, making you question if you had ever committed such a heinous crime in your previous life that cost you such misery in your present. But then, slowly but surely, the journey that you had to endure, led you to your fate, for better or for worse.

You couldn’t change where you had been and what you had done, but you could choose how you were going to redeem yourself and how you were going to spend the remaining years of your life now. You didn’t know much about your future as an Avenger. Hell, you were barely an Avenger, to begin with, but eventually, when you were ready, you knew there’d be nothing too big to overcome because you had Bucky by your side to walk through the storm with.

You didn’t have the privilege to believe in mystical things such as lucky stars but you were going to thank whatever was out there for the invisible string that tied you to Bucky.

tags; @ohmickeyhenry @suitofvibraniumarmor @themaddies-obx @themaddies-obx @beminetokeep @bluemoon-icecream @bluemoon-icecream @harprs @thefridgeismybestie @abitofeverythingg @wolfonthemoonwatchestvshows @julimelodi @bookscoffeandotherstuff @tanyaherondale @artisancowbells @ferxaniti @intothesoul @hallecarey1 @buckybarnesplumwhore @thefallenbibliophilequote @andiyholly @emizla @capxwinter @jevans2 @alwaysreadingimagineschick @swtltlmrvlgrl @extremelyblackandwhite

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feliciahardyn · 3 years

Text

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 3: chains around my demons

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 1,798

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) angst, mentions of anxiety, nightmares, murders.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

The next day, you packed up your bags and were ready to leave. You were waiting on Sam to arrive at Wakanda with the quinjet so he could fly you and Bucky back to the compound. You were a little bummed about leaving Wakanda, it had been a therapeutic experience for you and Bucky to be here. The thought of living the domestic life, in a beautiful place like Wakanda that is far away from the bustling city of New York was enticing. Sometimes you’d look at Bucky just walking around in his shirt and sweatpants doing the most mundane things instead of getting prepared for another mission and you’d think “I could get used to this.”

You thanked T’Challa, Shuri, Queen Ramonda and the Dola Milaje for everything they had done before you bid your farewell. You promised to stay in contact with Shuri and the Dora Milaje but it was still hard to leave them, they were truly the best people you had ever met. They reminded you of everything HYDRA was not. You could see why Bucky always spoke so highly of them.

Later that night, you had the compound all to yourself. Tony was having a date night with Pepper, Natasha was on a mission to Hungary, Sam was visiting his sister in Louisiana and Rhodey was dealing with some air force matters. As much as you loved the Avengers, you were grateful for this moment alone with Bucky.

The dimmed lights in the kitchen where you and Bucky just had dinner gave him an idea, “doll, get up…”

She did as he told even though she had no clue what he was planning, “for what, Bucky?”

He didn’t answer her but rather, he commanded FRIDAY to play a song called Put Your Heart on My Shoulder by Paul Anka. “Let’s dance, doll.”

He put his flesh hand on your waist and took your left hand with his vibranium arm, “I haven’t danced in ages, Buck.”

“Me neither, doll, but we’ll learn from each other,” he smiled affectionately at you.

It started off slow and you kept your eyes on each other, saying things that words can’t illustrate. It’s love, the realization of how fortunate you both were to have found each other. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” you uttered softly as you fiddled with his dog tags.

“Me too, doll. But we got each other now, I won’t let anything keep me away from you for too long.”

There was a brief silence. “Do you remember the last time you danced like this?”

“1945, Stark Expo, before I was shipped out to England. Her name was Connie and I took Steve with me because I wanted to spend it with him on my last night. I set him up with Connie’s friend but the punk just left to try to enlist in the army.”

Steve. You’d heard about him from Natasha and Tony. No one outside of the Avengers really knew where he was but you knew that he went back in time. That’s all you knew about it. You had also learned about his and Bucky’s friendship and how they really went all the way back. You were often curious about his ‘disappearance’ however you didn’t wanna pry or made Bucky feel worse. Losing a friend was always hard, let alone someone who was his only connection to his past, the life that he knew before he was forced to live out those violent years. You’d heard from Sam about how Steve was the only reason why Bucky stayed alive and how he had thought about committing suicide before. Now that he was gone, Sam often feared that Bucky would snap and give in to it but he always tried to be there for him. You were just glad that Bucky had Sam even before you were around.

“Do you… miss Steve?” you hesitantly asked as you rested your head on his chest.

“All the time,” He confessed. You were a tad relieved that Bucky wanted to open up about him to you. “He was the only family I got left, and when he went back, I felt empty. I was just lucky that Sam didn’t give up on me… And that, I met you.”

You smiled, you lifted your head to look at him. “You’re never gonna lose me. Not again,” you touched his face and he kissed you. It was soft, nothing like the kiss on your last night in Wakanda, but you could feel him pouring all the emotions and gratitude he had for you and you did just the same.

He lifted you as you wrapped his legs around his waist, still maintaining that kiss. Bucky carried you onto the dining table where you just had your dinner and he laid you there as he trailed to your throat and all the way down to your body which was now half-exposed after he lifted the hem of your shirt up until your breasts were revealed.

You weren’t wearing any bra so it was easier for him to access your nipples, he sucked on the right one as his flesh hand made its way down to your pants, unbuttoning it, and he inserted his fingers to find your clit, rubbing it in circles, making you even wetter every second. You shut your eyes, letting him have his way with your body.

His fingers and his tongue worked so magically that within seconds, he had you close to orgasm. “Bucky, so close…” You could feel his smirk against your nipple and he rubbed you faster. You moaned his name as you released all over his digits, soaking them up and he lifted his head to look into your eyes as he sucked your juices all over his hand like a fucking ice cream.

“You taste like heaven, sweetheart.” The sight of Bucky staring intensely at you as he sucked on his fingers that were drenched by your cum was euphoric, like watching a live homemade porn video. Bucky took off his sweatpants and his shirt, discarding them on the floor. Seeing him shirtless never ceased to mesmerize you, his body was a work of art. He’d told you one night that it took him a while to accept the scars on his body, let alone the bionic arm that felt nothing like a human but you told him that you loved every inch of it and if you could, you’d worship it forever.

Bucky then lifted the shirt that was still rumpled on your chest, up to your wrists, where he used it as a makeshift knot, keeping your hands above your head, “stay there, understand?”

“Yes, sergeant.” You had no idea what sparked that nickname, but from the way he grinned, he sure loved it and if he loved it, then you were sure to use that in future steamy sessions.

“Sergeant, huh? You’re in big trouble, darling.” Bucky tore your damp panties and you gasped, not expecting him to be so aggressive… Not that you were complaining though. “Bucky…”

“Shh, let me take care of you, baby.” He kissed you ferociously, with his tongue completely dominating your mouth. Without any warning, his middle finger intruded your body… But it was an entirely different feeling from the last time he did that to you because he was using his vibranium arm and the sensation instantly took over your body, running in your veins like that serum in his blood.

“Oh God, Buck…” You whined as you looked down to where his finger was moving in and out of you at a slow pace.

“Does it feel good?” He asked as he kept looking at your face, searching for any signs of discomfort but with each motion, you only seemed to enjoy it.

“Yes, it feels fucking amazing… Don’t stop, please.”

He began to move his digits faster, and when your wails grew louder, he inserted another finger and you arched your back. “Fuck, oh God…” Bucky curled his fingers to brush your sweet spot, pushing you to the edge and you cum for the second time all over his vibranium hand.

“You’re so hot when you cum,” he whispered in a gravelly low voice that could weaken any woman in the knees. He pulled his fingers out of you and he used your juices to stroke his member to make it easier to slide into you.

Bucky lifted your legs onto his shoulders and he lined his cock to your entrance, slowly as he felt your walls fluttered around him. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” Bucky began moving, he was taking his time with your body, wanting to feel every inch of you and you of him, and you whimpered with every thrust. He felt so heavy between your hips that you could feel your orgasm approaching fast, even with the languid pace.

“I’m not gonna last long…” You said in between whimpers.

“I know, doll. Just let go when you’re ready, okay?” He began to speed up, his grunts and the sound of your skin slapping was obscene, making you nearly forget you were fucking in the place where the Avengers would feast (if they found out what you did on this table, Tony would hire a cleaning service company to scrub the entire surface thrice.)

The coil in your lower abdomen tightened and you knew you were seconds away from rupturing. A few more thrusts and you hit your peak. Bucky kept holding your hips tightly and he continued to pound into you, prolonging your orgasm as he chased his own climax. Your body trembled from the aftershocks but from the way Bucky was impaling you, you could feel a fourth orgasm coming and you didn’t know if you could take it anymore.

He felt you squeezing his cock once again and you both came together, pleasure washed over both of you. He shot his load inside you, painting your walls white. A few more shallow thrusts to blow every drop he had left within him. He stayed inside you as he hid his face between your neck and your shoulder, the warmth of his body on top of you was comforting despite the sweat all over your body.

Bucky lifted his head to look at you and sweep the strands of hair sticking on your forehead, “you okay?” he panted. You could only respond by nodding, not moving because of the weight of him still between your legs and how completely spent you were.

Once he had regained his composure, he retreated himself out of you and he carried you in bridal style to your room, wanting nothing else than to take care of you with a hot bath and forehead kisses under the duvet.

tags; @ohmickeyhenry @suitofvibraniumarmor @themaddies-obx @beminetokeep @bluemoon-icecream-blog @bluemoon-icecream @harprs @thefridgeismybestie @abitofeverythingg @wolfonthemoonwatchestvshows @julimelodi @bookscoffeandotherstuff @tanyaherondale @artisancowbells @ferxaniti @intothesoul @hallecarey1 @buckybarnesplumwhore @thefallenbibliophilequote @andiyholly @emizla @capxwinter @jevans2 @alwaysreadingimagineschick @swtltlmrvlgrl @extremelyblackandwhite

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feliciahardyn · 3 years

Text

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 2: bad was the blood

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 4,376

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) angst, mentions of anxiety, nightmares, murders.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

It had been a week since you and Bucky reunited and ever since that night, you and him were practically inseparable. Your bedroom was next to his and each night, he always came to yours to catch up on things and some nights, your conversation would go so deep that he would find himself waking up in your bed when the sun rises. He’d always leave your bed slowly to go into his room so that he wouldn’t wake you.

Each night he sleeps next to you, his nightmare became less intense. They still haunted him but they were vague, it was as if the faces of his victims become blurry and the echoes become whispers. One night, Bucky came back home from a small mission late and by the time he arrived at the compound, you were already asleep. Bucky knew the passcode to your door so he could let himself in anytime. He typed in those numbers and slowly opened the door and he smiled at the view of you sleeping peacefully. He would watch you sleep all night if he could, but he was exhausted and so were you, so he left you alone to rest.

Beads of sweat rolled down your skin as the cold air sent shivers down your spine. You watched the emotions in Natasha’s eyes vanished, as if her soul left her body and that’s left was the vessel. Sam, Tony and Bruce stood there like statues, waiting for your order. They had one thing in common with Natasha and that was the void of emotion. You felt a sense of pride in turning the Avengers into lifeless soldiers. They were at your mercy, you could command them to destroy the entire world with only a whisper.

Then you felt a cold grip on your arm, “Y/N… Why are you doing this?” Those steel blue eyes held so much pain in them as if he had just been betrayed by the person he trusted the most. “Stop this now! This isn’t you.” Bucky pleaded.

“Stand back soldier, or you are next.”

“No, I won’t let you do this to our friends.”

“Stand back. I will not ask you once again,” you warned him without a hint of uncertainty.

“Stop this, now or I will.” Bucky opposed.

“Very well,” with merely a glare, you activated the soldier you once knew. Years ago in the cold bunker of Hydra, ready to murder with a single order.

“готов подчиниться.”

You watched his blue eyes turned to ice, imitating his infamous name. You smirked and leaned close to his ear, “welcome back, soldier.”

You thrashed your body in your sheets and woke up with a loud scream. You thought you were doing well but the nightmare returned. You were doing what you dreaded again to your friends, the people you considered your family now. You sat up in your bed and sobbed until you heard Bucky opened your door with a concerned gaze. “Y/N, are you okay…?” He didn’t hesitate in running to you and sat next to you on your bed.

“I didn’t mean to, I- I never meant to hurt anyone…” You sobbed against Bucky’s chest as he wrapped his arm around you. His flesh arm held your head close to where his heart was beating and he tried to calm you down by stroking your hair and shushed you. He didn't know what you meant by that and he had many questions to ask but he understood better than anyone that in this state, integrating you would only cause more damage, so he let you cry it all out and comfort you in every way he could.

“It’s okay, y/n. I’m here, it’s going to be okay.”

You cried as you laid on Bucky’s chest until exhaustion took you over. You didn’t remember when you both began to drift away but as Bucky was sleeping, he saw visions of you doing heinous things to people, innocent souls who were held against their wills. He heard their screams and their pleas, but they weren’t looking at him, they were looking at… Her. Bucky had never seen her gaze so cold. Then he was transported into another scene… The place where HYDRA used to store him. It was one of the Russian Armed Forces, Vasily Karpov who was in charge of him during his Winter Soldier years.

Bucky remembered every second he spent trapped in the chair as he was given his orders. But this time, it was her strapped on that chair, screaming in agony. He watched him spelling out the activation words, they were different than his but just as effective. Bucky tried to reach her out, wanting to punch all those men and get her out of there but somehow his feet were stuck in place.

As the last word was uttered, he watched the woman he had slowly fallen in love with disappeared, replaced by a soulless soldier who was ready to kill anything that stood in her way. Bucky woke up to faint echoes of his name being called, “Bucky…” And slowly, he began to come back to life, and he saw her face, still the woman he knew, not the soldier in his dream, looming over him. “Did you see it?”

Bucky instantly sat up as he stared at her, “you were one of the winter soldiers. You were there.”

You nodded, “I was… They never referred to me as the winter soldier, however, I was treated just the same as you were. I had the same purpose as you.”

“How come you never told me?” His gaze was soft, he didn’t sound disappointed or betrayed, he just sounded… Worried.

“I couldn’t… I just didn’t know where to begin. I didn’t want to ruin what we had so I figured, if I left you first, I wouldn’t have to hurt you too and I was afraid that if you found out, you’d never look at me the same.”

“Sweetheart, we are both haunted by the same things. I’d never hate you for what you did. Don’t you think I didn’t have the same fears before? We’ll get through this together, I promise.” He held your face in his hands, the contrast of temperature in both of his hands was somehow soothing you, reminding you that he was once just as peccable as you were.

“But I don’t trust myself, Bucky. Someone could find the book and if they say the words, I could hurt people again… I could hurt you too. And I don’t know if I would ever come back.”

“I won’t let that happen, I promise you. I couldn’t trust my own mind too until I went to Wakanda and they fixed me. They removed the winter soldier program and now I’m free.”

“Is that… Possible?”

“Yes, I’ll explain everything in the morning but, right now, we need to rest.”

“Okay…” you were feeling rather drowsy, not only physically but emotionally too. It was never easy to unravel such shame and remorse.

Bucky laid back and opened his arm for you to sneak under it. You placed your head on his chest, feeling safe and sound being so close to him. Bucky’s fingers tangled with your hair as he kissed your forehead. “Promise you’ll be here when I wake up?”

“I promise,” he whispered.

The sound of his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep.

The next morning, Bucky and you had breakfast together. It was early, the dawn had just begun, and some of the Avengers were out for a run or still asleep. You and Bucky had some alone time in the kitchen and you were thankful for the brief moment of solitude.

“So, what I said last night…” Bucky initiated the conversation as he put his coffee mug on the table. “I really think our best option is to go to Wakanda, y/n. They’ve got the best medical equipment, the people are extremely smart, they’ll take care of you. Just like they took care of me.”

“What makes you think they want to treat me, Buck? I mean, they took you in because the king and Steve made an agreement, but they have no idea who I am and even if they do, they don’t owe me anything.”

“The Wakandans may be resourceful and independent, but they are generous people too. I’ll call Ayo and sort everything out. They can spare me a few more favours.”

“If they agree to treat me, I only wanna go if you go too. I don’t wanna be alone in a country I’ve never been to before, Buck. I’m not familiar with their culture, I don’t speak their language, I don’t wanna fuck it up, you know?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there with you every step of the way. I promise.”

“Why are you so good to me?”

“Because you’re the only good thing that happened to me in the past seventy years.”

You never believed in butterflies, but you swore in that moment, the whole damn zoo went nuts. Bucky had a way to make you feel loved and cherished, and you were falling fast. You just hoped that he’d be there to catch you.

The sincerity in his eyes made you smile like you never had before. Looking back, the only times you had ever genuinely smiled was because of Bucky. His texts, his face, his touches, they were your newfound grace. Bucky told you that you were the only good thing that happened to him in the past seventy years, but so was he to you. Was it possible for two fucked up people who had done heinous things to find such love? You could only hope that nothing would come in the way of that.

Wakanda was a breath of fresh air. Figuratively and literally. You loved New York, no matter what, it would always be your home. However, Wakanda could definitely give New York a run for its money. The air was free out of pollutions from vehicles, everywhere you look, the landscape was filled with scenic greenery and not to mention the futuristic architectures yet deeply rooted in their culture. The people were welcoming and kind, yet they were not to be crossed over.

When you and Bucky first landed, the king himself, T’Challa with Okoye and Ayo by his sides welcomed you. It was intimidating to be in their presence, yet you were fascinated by how graceful they were. You were hoping that your anxiety wouldn’t make you do something dumb or stupid in front of them so as soon as you were out of the quinjet that Sam was flying, you bowed in front of the king. “We don’t do that here…” T’Challa declared.

You swore you could pass out from embarrassment. Bucky chuckled when you straightened your pose. T’Challa shook hands with Bucky like they were old friends, so did he with Sam. Bucky had been communicating with Ayo regarding your visit today so he didn’t have to explain why you were there anymore. They led you to Shuri’s lab where the miracle occurs.

When she saw you, she was nothing like you expected. She was younger than you but she seemed so ahead of you. She seemed so ahead of everyone in the room. She was bright and had an effervescent personality. The lab was unlike anything you’d ever seen, even Tony’s lab in the compound wasn’t as swanky as this one. Shuri’s lab had equipment you didn't even know existed.

She greeted you both, “welcome back Sergeant Barnes, and who’s your girlfriend?” her bluntness caught you off guard.

“Princess, this is y/n and y/n this is Princess Shuri. King T’challa’s younger sister. She was the one who fixed me eight years ago.”

“Hi Princess, it’s an honour.” You shook her hands.

“Welcome. Now let’s get you comfortable so we can take a look inside your brain, yeah?”

Now here you were, sitting in front of a burning yule log, the fire illuminated your face in the dead of the night. Ayo was standing across you, watching you with her spear ready but she trusted you, regardless. Bucky sat next to you, close enough to reassure you that he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you or anyone.

“It’s gonna work, y/n. I promise.”

“What if it doesn’t? How will you bring me back?”

“Shuri would know what to do. I was sceptical of my own mind too at first, but I turned out fine. Better, even. You’re in good hands.”

“If she comes back, and you can’t stop her, promise me you’ll put her out, even if it kills me.”

“Y/N…” He looked wounded, how could he possibly do such a thing to the woman he loved?

“James! I can’t hurt anyone else anymore, and worse, if I hurt you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

He nodded, though his heart was saying otherwise. “Okay, I promise.”

The tears in your eyes crawled down your cheeks and he held you close in the hut you’d been sharing with him. He kissed your hair like he would when he comforted you. The hut was simple and far away from the modern life you were used to in the compound or in New York, but you loved the tranquillity and simplicity of it. Some nights where Bucky and you would lie together, warming each other up, wearing nothing but customary clothes, you’d quietly think, you could get used to this. The simple life, with Bucky. Just you and him, and the rest of the world fade into the background. You wondered, could you still have it? That life? Or was it just wishful thinking? Right now, you could only hope that you’d be released from the demons of your past, that still lived in your head.

“I’ll be here, doll.” Bucky whispered and held your hand until the very last second.

“I won’t let you hurt anyone, Y/N. We successfully removed the winter soldier programs from James’ mind like rotten fur, you have nothing to worry.”

You nodded, “okay Ayo… I’m ready.”

You inhaled and stared at your own feet. The soil seemed like a great distraction at that moment. You wished you could hold Bucky’s hand but you didn’t want to look like a scared little baby. Then you heard it, Ayo’s assured voice spelling out the first codeword and the tension in your body rose. You trembled from the cold air, preparing yourself for the worst to happen as she uttered the next one. With each word, the fear in your veins amplified, thinking that any second now you were going to be a passenger in your own body and the demon that lived within you was going to take over.

But as Ayo uttered the last word, you were still there. You remembered your name, you remember where you were, you remembered the people around you and why you were there. You didn’t feel paralyzed, but rather alive. Freed from chains. You couldn’t believe it, you were never one to believe in miracles but that night, you did.

“You’re free, y/n.” Ayo smile like a proud mother.

“I’m free…” You repeated her words as if you were trying to convince yourself that it’s true.

She nodded, and you looked at Bucky who couldn’t hold himself back from wrapping his arms around you as he kissed your temple. “Oh, baby….” You could hear the genuine happiness in his voice and the shape of his lips forming a smile against you.

“You are both free,” Ayo declared.

You looked into his blue eyes that were gleaming with joy and love for only you. In that moment, you wished you had your phone with you so you could capture the priceless look on his face. You knew he was happy for you, however, you felt like you were celebrating his happiness instead. Maybe that’s what true love really is, celebrating each other’s happiness.

He grabbed your face and kissed you so deeply, taking your breath away. You could taste the saltiness of your tears cascaded down to your lips, but it was okay because you could feel Bucky’s soft lips against yours too and it was all you needed.

You held hands with Bucky, walking down to your shared hut, never wanting to untangle yourself from each other. Each night in Wakanda was an entire voyage itself. The scintillating stars in the sky and the quietness was paradise. You could see why Bucky adored Wakanda so much, everything about this country is perfect.

You laid on Bucky’s chest, playing with his dog tag. Even while sleeping, he never took it off. “I can’t believe I’m finally free…” you whispered.

Bucky looked down at you, “believe it doll, you deserve it.”

You sat up and leaned on your elbow, looking at him, “Thank you for getting me here and for being with me through it all. You’re amazing, Bucky.”

“No, doll, that is you. You’re one of the strongest people I know and I admire that.” Bucky sat up and he stared into your eyes as he strokes your cheek with his thumb.

In that moment, there was a sudden urge to have him in a way you hadn’t had. You didn’t care about anything else, you just needed to feel every inch of him, and you needed him to feel every inch of you. You slammed your lips onto his, taking Bucky by surprise yet he leaned into it. Bucky grabbed your arse, pushing your body closer to him, despite the nonexistent gap between you. Bucky licked your bottom lip, and you took his cue as parting them, allowing his tongue to take over your mouth.

You stopped for a second to gasp for air, and you closed your eyes, letting Bucky take the wheel. Bucky moved his flesh hand to your hair, holding a fistful of it to your face in place. Then when he felt like he needed more, Bucky moved his hands to your thighs, lifting you onto his thighs, then he shifted his body around so that he was on top of you and you were lying on the pillow.

Bucky was still kissing you until he started moving his kisses down to your chin, then to your jaw then to your neck, the spot that he knew would elicit a sound of you. Bucky might’ve been over a hundred years old and he hadn’t been intimate with anyone since 1945 but he still remembered how he used to make a woman scream for his name and he wasn’t going to waste that talent.

Bucky lifted the hem of the tank top you were sleeping in and you raised your hands to make it easier for him to get rid of it. This was the first time Bucky had seen you naked, you were always sleeping in clothes next to him, whether it’s a tank top and super short shorts, you were always covered. But now, you were all bare and you were slightly nervous because you hadn’t let anyone see you like this since you were captured by HYDRA.

Chills ran down your spine from the crisp air, but it was also because of the way Bucky was ogling you. You could see how dilated his pupils are, overshadowing the blue. “You’re fucking gorgeous,” he breathed.

Bucky continued his lecherous act, kissing down your chest then to your right nipple, swirling his tongue around like a lollipop while his other hand toyed with your left breast. You arched your back as you shut your eyes, letting him do whatever he wanted to you. You whimpered, needing more of him. “Bucky…”

He wanted to taste more of you so he trailed kisses down your stomach, waking up the butterflies inside until he was breathing to your core. Even in the darkness, he could see how your wetness glistens. He wrapped his arms in each of your thighs and spread them apart for him to dive in. He could tell you were feeling a little shy but he made sure to make you feel otherwise by kissing the insides of your thighs, telling you, “I bet you taste real sweet, darling…”

His words made you open your eyes and looked down at him, between your things. He smirked mischievously at your reaction. Then he dipped into your core, licking a stripe up to your clit, making you moan out his name. The way his stubble burnt your delicate flesh made you want to close your thighs however, Bucky held them firmly in place. He savoured every drop, devouring you like a famished man. Your thighs trembled around him and you bit your lip trying to surpass the moans. The slurping sounds that he made were sinful.

Then he shoved two of his fingers inside you, scissoring you open for him. You gasped, the intrusion shocked you, causing you to open your eyes and look down at his act. “Oh God, Buck, I’m fucking close…”

He dipped down again, savouring more juices flowing out of you. “Shh, I know doll, let go. I got you.” He continued his assault on your cunt until you felt the bubble in your belly exploded, making you see stars. You had forgotten the pleasure of chasing your orgasm until Bucky reminded you. Bucky swallowed every drop you released, not wanting to waste anything. He stayed there until you had nothing more to give.

Bucky rose from between your thighs, kissing you passionately and you could taste yourself on his tongue. It was so fucking debauched yet you fucking loved it. You wrap your arms around his neck and run your hands through his hair, messing it up and he looked so fucking sexy.

“I want you Bucky, please fill me up,” you pleaded in between makeout.

“You want this doll? You want me?” He knew what you desired, he just wanted to make sure one last time before you go all the way so you wouldn’t regret it in the morning.“

“Yes Bucky, I want all of you… Only you.”

“I got you, sweetheart.” Bucky grabbed your hands and put them above your head. He pulled back to take off his pants, freeing his cock out of his boxer. To say Bucky was packing light would be a massive lie. He was long and thick, not to mention he was painfully hard. You really didn’t expect it. You had thought about it and you guessed he was more on the lengthy side yet, he seemed to surprise you more and more every time.

Bucky saw the way you stared at it and he smirked at your reaction. “Like what you see, doll?” He stroked the shaft, getting it ready to plunge into you.

You bit your lip as your chest heaved at the licentious scene, “can I taste it?”

Bucky scoffed and shook his head while still stroking himself, “not tonight, doll. But I’ll hold your word.” He crawled back up to your body and you spread your legs apart to make room for him, you maintained eye contact as he held both of your hands that were still above your head. You could feel the nudge of the tip of his cock on your bud, making your toes curl, “are you ready?” he asked.

“Yes…” you practically whined. “Please, take me.”

Without a second thought, Bucky pushed himself inside you, slowly yet you could feel every inch of him stretching your walls open and you threw your head back, the friction caused your head to spin. You cried out his name as you tightened your grip on his hands, needing to hold onto something.

Bucky grunted when he was fully inside and he took a moment to hide his face in your neck, “ah, fucking hell, doll. You feel amazing.”

“Move Bucky, please…” you pleaded after you adjusted to him being inside you.

Bucky began to move slowly, started with shallow thrusts, pulling back a bit then pushed it back inside. When you didn’t show any signs of resistance, he began to pick up the pace and it made your moans grow louder. “Oh, fuck…” you cursed due to the sensation. “Faster, Buck…”

Your wish is Bucky’s command, he did as you asked and he was enjoying more and more of it. You lifted your legs higher on his waist, locking them there for dear life. You wailed as his cock impaled you, forgetting that there were probably kids sleeping around your hut but you were too clouded with pleasure to worry about that. The onslaught caused you to clench around him and your coil tightened. Knowing you won’t last much longer, Bucky detached his flesh hand from yours and moved it down to your clit, rubbing it in circles over and over again and you plummeted into bliss, electricity ran through your veins as you hit your peak, releasing yourself all over him.

Bucky kept thrusting, seeing the way your face contorted in satisfaction because of him and how your walls tightened around him threw him off the edge, causing him to reach his own orgasm. He spilt himself inside you, finishing with shallow thrusts until every drop was stored. “Ah, fuck…” He groaned.

Bucky laid on top of you while still staying inside you. You loved the intimacy of being this close to him, honestly, you wouldn’t mind staying in this position until dawn. Both of you tried to gain control over your breathing as you were completely spent. Once he regained composure, he pulled himself out of you and laid next to you.

“That was…”

“Fucking amazing? Yeah…” Bucky completed that sentence as he held you in his arms and kissed your forehead.

“You were amazing, doll.” He continued.

“I haven’t had sex since… Well, since as long as I can remember.”

“Me too, doll. You are my first since everything that happened.”

“You are mine, too.”

For a few seconds, you just stared at each other lovingly with satisfaction plastered all over your faces. You relished in each others’ warmth, despite the hut reeking of sweat and smell of sex, you found comfort in each other, putting both of you to sleep.

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feliciahardyn · 3 years

Text

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 1: time, curious time

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,927

Warnings: angst, mentions of anxiety, nightmares, murder.

A/N: first chapter is finally here!! this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

You were restless. You pulled the sleeves of your oversized sweater as if you were trying to hold onto something so you wouldn't fall apart. Therapy was an entirely foreign concept to you. You never had the chance to talk to someone, let alone an expert about the things you had done. How could you? The life you were forced to live wasn't exactly a lenient one. But you were fortunate enough to be here, to get the help you didn't think you deserve and without Natasha, God knows what could the government do to you. You'd probably never be free... At least as free as you could ever be.

The ticking clock shows a few minutes had passed by with only you and your thoughts. It was also approaching the number when you are supposed to meet your therapist. Dr. Raynor... You kept repeating her name in mind, worried that you might forget her name too. You didn't wanna make a first bad impression, when you were pardoned, they gave you a few conditions that you must fulfil and one of them was to make sure that Dr. Raynor can help you recover. Forgetting her name would seem like you are not making any progress. You didn't really care what Dr. Raynor would think because she was practically a stranger, however, you owed it to Natasha.

Your mind recalled the dreams you had last night, one of the many nightmares you couldn't escape every night. The perplexion you felt when you were first in that room, the strange faces you felt and the unfamiliar language they spoke. You remember how scared and cold you were and you couldn't run. Then the needle in your skin and how they did not only punctured your skin but how the injection burned your veins, a man with a sinister face loomed over you and whispered, "you're going to help us finish our work." And that's when you woke up, with sweat all over your skin and the uncontrollable speed of your beating heart.

Then a figure walked past by you, with his hands in his pockets and he sat across you. He leaned back and reclined his head on the wall, looking anywhere else but you. Something about him called out to you, it was as if you had run into him before but you couldn't figure out when and where... With the serum running in your veins, you were able to smell his musky cologne and see the colour of his eyes. You could also hear his steady breathing but what drew you most into him was the chaos in his thoughts. You could sense how dark and mysterious it was... Like the ocean, something that resembled the windows to his soul too. You stared at him longer than you intended to, you didn't realize until he caught you and you quickly directed your gaze somewhere else. You swore the corner of your eyes caught that tiny smirk of his.

You wanted to look at him again but you didn't wanna creep him off. So you looked down at the sleeves of your sweater and pretended that you weren't embarrassed by being caught staring. "Is this your first time?" a gentle voice alerted you.

"Sorry?" you looked up at him. My God, you had never seen a man so beautiful in the long years you had lived.

"Is this your first session with Dr. Raynor?"

"Uh, yes. So I'm a little nervous." you shyly replied.

"Don't be, she can be a little passive-aggressive and cynical sometimes but as long as you answer her questions, she can be nice."

You nodded, "thank you," you politely smiled at him. "I'm y/n, by the way."

"Bucky."

"Bucky..." something about that name felt oddly familiar. You repeated his name as if it could refresh your memory.

"Hi, are you y/n y/l/n??" A brunette woman appeared from the door and approached you.

"Yes, that's me."

"Good, I'm Dr. Raynor and I was appointed to you by the government to help you get back into modern life. Shall we go inside?"

"Yes, Doctor." You grabbed your bag and followed her inside. Before the door was closed, you threw Bucky one last look as if you were trying to excuse yourself but he was already staring at you.

You see Dr. Raynor every day and never missed your court-mandated therapy. You could live your life as a free woman as long as you checked in with Dr. Raynor and talked to her about your progress daily. But for the past few weeks, you have found a reason that kept you motivated to going to Dr. Raynor’s office and never missing a day. In fact, this was the reason why you were anticipating going back every day. Bucky, the blue-eyed, mysterious man who you felt like you had met somewhere, maybe in another lifetime, had slowly crawled his way into your heart since the moment he sat across you that first day.

The next day you came back, he had sat two seats next to you instead of across you and as you learned more about each other, he asked for your number and he texted you that night before you went to bed. You found yourself smiling like a teenage girl every time his name pops up on your screen. You would drop whatever you were doing when you see his name and with more texts exchanged, you found yourself getting more comfortable with this man.

You and Bucky would talk about the most mundane things like how he had to stand up for his elderly neighbour, Yori, who started arguing with his neighbour, who called himself ‘Unique’ for putting his trash in Yori’s trash can. “I mean… What kind of nickname is ‘Unique’? It’s ridiculous.” He texted you that day. You’d always respond with lighthearted jokes to keep the conversation going because honestly, something about him made you feel warm and safe inside, even merely through texting, and you never wanted it to stop.

The truth was, ever since you started talking more and more with Bucky, the less your nightmares come. Some nights, they haunt your rest, other nights you dream of him. The way he’d smile at you when you were talking and the way he’d chuckle at your stupid jokes… And the way he’d touch you and kiss you and hold you as you moan his name on your bed.

Until one night, the nightmare comes back and they were worse. So much worse. You dreamt of a man strapped to a chair, his hair was long and he looked terrified. Then there were people in doctor labs standing around him and the man that you hoped to never see again… Baron Strucker. He was the one who experimented on you and cursed you with this gift. The strapped man looked at you with tears in his eyes, “what are you going to do to me?” He asked in such a wounded tone.

Strucker stood next to you with his hands behind his back and ordered you to get into this strapped man’s head and tell him to kill. You held no remorse or no pity for the strapped soldier shaking before you, you only walked closer to where he laid his head and pressed your fingers to the sides of it. You leaned closer in his ear and whispered, “kill them. Kill them all and leave no one behind.” The echoes of his scream bounced against the steel walls and Strucker watched you like a proud father, “well done, soldier.”

You woke up, beads of sweats rolled down your skin and you heard the sound of your own voice calling his name, “Bucky!” You took a few seconds to recollect yourself but after seeing his face tortured by you and the people who turned you into a monster, you knew you wouldn’t be able to see him or talk to him anymore without being reminded by your nightmare. There’s a reason why you stayed away from people, at least normal people because you didn’t want to hurt anyone else and you know you could easily hurt Bucky, if only someone knew those eleven words to unlock the monster in you, you could do something you’d regret. So you reached for the phone in your nightstand and turned it on to search for his name on your contacts list. It took everything in you to press the ‘block contact’ feature but you knew you had to. You turned off your phone and cried yourself to sleep. You’re gonna have to reschedule your future appointments with Dr. Raynor tomorrow so you won’t be running into him anymore.

The redesigned interior of the Avengers compound was divine. Within only seven months after everyone who was blipped out of existence returned, Tony successfully built back the compound for the remaining heroes and the new ones. You had never stepped foot on the compound before, however, you had seen the pictures and seeing it with your own eyes was a different experience.

Your therapy sessions with Dr. Raynor had gone as well as it could and you felt like you were ready to start a normal life as a new person. You had learned how to make peace with your pasts and your powers, and you had started opening yourself to new people. For the first time, life was as tranquil as it could be for you, however, there was one thing missing and you wished you could share this newfound peace with him… You wished you could call him and grow with him together but you didn’t wanna take any chances.

You would meet up with Natasha every once a week in a local coffee shop near your building. The atmosphere was always calm and it was a small, yet cosy place to catch up with your friends, that’s why it had become your own secret place with Natasha. Each week, you’d update her with your progress and how you’d been doing. You never kept anything from her, and each week, she saw you becoming better and happier, she never stopped telling you that she was proud of you. Once you told her that you were ready for something new, something that would make you feel more normal, she offered you a job to work with Tony on technology in the compound.

“As brilliant as he is, he could use some help, and I know how skilled you are at that. So what do you say?”

You didn’t hesitate in accepting it and the next day, Natasha took you to the compound to meet Tony and sort out an agreement. You always respected Tony Stark for the heroic things he had done for the world and when you met him in person, you were slightly nervous because you didn’t know what would he think of you, but he turned out to be easier to be around than the media had portrayed him for years. You packed up your bags, said goodbye to your neighbour who lived across the hall and moved to the compound. You were ready for a new chapter in your life.

“What’s bothering that cyborg brain of yours?”

“Nothing,” Bucky curtly answered.

“I’ve spent enough time around you to know that you’re not in a sour mood.”

“I’m fine. Can we please just get this mission over with so we can go home?”

“Alright, whatever you say.” Sam put on his goggles and prepared to spread his wings, letting Bucky sulk in his own way.

He wasn’t fine. How could he be? The woman who made him feel something as close to romantic love for the first time in seventy years ghosted him without any reason. What had gone wrong? Did he say something too honest? Did he upset her? Did she find out about his past and was terrified of him? He hadn’t been able to get her out of his thoughts for weeks. He wondered about her, if she was okay and if she was happy. He could ask Dr. Raynor about her but he knew damn well there was no way he could get any information about her other patient due to doctor-patient confidentiality. Besides, she would somehow stir the conversation to how he had been doing instead.

But Bucky needed to see her, to hear her voice or to just read a text from her, but the only place he could reach her was in his dreams. So he pushed it back to the back of his mind, got his weapons ready and turned on the sergeant mode. There was no time to think about her, he just had to finish this mission and once it’s done, he can return to the compound and drown himself in whiskey and sober thoughts of her.

On the flight back home, he closed his eyes trying to get some rest. They were two hours away from the compound so might as well try to sleep. As he was about to drift off, the screen on his phone illuminated, something that was rare because the Avengers would contact him through comms and private video calls instead of texting. Dr. Raynor certainly never called or texted him first, Mr. Yori didn’t even use a phone. There was only one person who’d give him that notification but could it be…?

“I hope you’re doing okay, James. I’m sorry for ghosting you without a reason. I really wish I could tell you why but it’s complicated. I’m just letting you know that my therapy sessions with Dr. Raynor have been going well and I got myself a new job now. I miss you. Wherever you are, please take care of yourself. I understand if you don’t wanna talk to me or know me anymore.”

It’s her. It’s really her. The phrasing of her words, the name in his contact and the numbers he had memorized a long time ago. His hands were shaking despite his calm demeanour, his mind was racing and he didn’t know what to answer. Would she even care if he texted back? But he did, he didn’t want her to think that he was ignoring her or that he didn’t want to know her anymore. How could she even think that she was all he thought about for the past few weeks?

“I hope you are well, wherever you are. Please do not hesitate in calling me in case you need anything.” His answer was curt but he hoped it was enough to let her know that he would always be there for her and that she would always be on his mind.

Later that night you decided to make yourself some dinner. You considered ordering something but you decided to cook something because cooking would take your mind off things and you needed to stop thinking of him.

Your heart was beating so fast the moment you saw his name appeared on your phone, with a few words under it. All those texts you sent, you knew that Bucky was never one to send three paragraphs, however, you still wished that he’d tell you more about how he’d been doing, because you missed him terribly and if you had told him that, the secrets would unfold and you weren’t ready to show him those scars.

The compound was quiet at this hour. You enjoyed your new room and the amenities that the compound offers but the more time you spend doing nothing, the less you’d be able to take him off your mind. The fridge was stocked with all types of food; fruits, vegetables, meat, canned food, etc. However, you were in the mood for something easy so you decided to make some spaghetti. When you finished your meal, you cleaned the plate and you were ready to brush your teeth and try to sleep but as you were walking toward your bedroom, FRIDAY’s voice alerted the entire compound, announcing that Captain Wilson and Sergeant Barnes are preparing to land in three minutes.

Sergeant Barnes… No, no, it can’t be him, can it?

Tony, Natasha and Bruce came out of their private quarters to the helipad where the quinjet was landing. You were anticipating with anxiety for who was standing on the other side of that door. As it slowly opened, two men revealed themselves and the sight before you knocked you out of your lungs… It’s him. It’s really him. Those blue eyes that haunted your thoughts and your dreams, every day and night.

Bucky froze as soon as he saw you and at that moment as if the time stopped and every noise just faded into the background. He was here, in front of you, after all those weeks of not seeing him and not hearing from him, he was close enough to touch. “It’s you…” He whispered.

“Bucky, how…?”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Bucky are you- are you an Avenger?”

“Yes, apparently I am,” he smiled. “Wait a minute, is this the job you told me about in your text?”

“Yes… Oh my God, I’ve missed you so much.” You didn’t care that the other Avengers were staring at you in confusion at that moment, you just wanted to feel him. You threw your arms around his neck and he hugged you back, holding you close. The warmth of his body embraced you like a cardigan and for a minute there, you forgot why you were foolish enough to ever let him go.

tags; @ohmickeyhenry @suitofvibraniumarmor @themaddies-obx @beminetokeep @bluemoon-icecream @harprs @thefridgeismybestie @abitofeverythingg @wolfonthemoonwatchestvshows @julimelodi @bookscoffeandotherstuff @tanyaherondale @artisancowbells @ferxaniti @intothesoul @hallecarey1 @buckybarnesplumwhore @thefallenbibliophilequote @andiyholly @emizla @capxwinter @jevans2 @alwaysreadingimagineschick @swtltlmrvlgrl

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