fearxtoxfreedom

[fearxtoxfreedom]

CRIMINAL MINDS 1.18 “SOMEBODY’S WATCHING”

#HER JUDGY FACE IN THAT FIRST GIF AS SHE LOOKS HIM OVER THO. I CANNOT. I LOVE HER SM. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕄𝕀ℝℝ𝕆ℝ. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝔸𝔹𝕆𝕌𝕋. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 ℝ𝔼𝕀𝔻. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟙.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

@mischiiefs i feel like i've been typecast but also i wrote lydia once so

#you really know me too well ahaha #i'm a simple girl who likes bitchy characters & geniuses (bonus points if they are both) #then himbos but we wont talk about that #tracy;talks #to be deleted

[fearxtoxfreedom]

more cringy dirty & flirty pick-up lines sentence starters

this is extremely self-indulgent, don't mind me lmfao. feel free to use these for whatever you want and change any details that need to be.

❝ you're so hot, my zipper is falling for you. ❞ ❝ i love my bed, but i'd rather be in yours. ❞ ❝ nice outfit. it'd look even better if it were on my bedroom floor. ❞ ❝ roses are red, violets are fine. you be the six, and i'll be the nine. ❞ ❝ do you have any room for an extra tongue in your mouth? ❞ ❝ if you're feeling down, i can feel you up. ❞ ❝ my ideal body weight is yours on mine. ❞ ❝ your belt looks really tight. can i loosen it for you? ❞ ❝ there are 206 bones in your body. think you can handle another one? ❞ ❝ let's play carpenter so i can nail you. ❞ ❝ i'd tell you a joke about my dick, but ... it's too long. ❞ ❝ hey, i might be wasted, but the condom in my pocket doesn't have to be. ❞ ❝ i may not go down in history, but i'll go down on you. ❞ ❝ you must be a chicken farmer because you know exactly how to raise my cock. ❞ ❝ sorry, what's your name again? i want to get it right when i shout it later. ❞ ❝ you must be an elevator because i want to go up and down on you all day. ❞ ❝ i'd love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. and the ones on your face. ❞ ❝ if you were a toe, i'd bang you on every wall, table, and chair in this bar. ❞ ❝ sit on my lap, and let's talk about the first thing that pops up. ❞ ❝ do you work for UPS? 'cause you've got a fantastic package. ❞ ❝ want to play a game? i'll be the squirrel, you be the tree, and i'll bust a nut in your hole. ❞ ❝ your legs are like an oreo cookie. i wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle. ❞ ❝ i bet i can touch your belly button ... from the inside. ❞ ❝ how do you feel about doing some math in the bedroom? all you need to do is add me, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and we can multiply. ❞ ❝ remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later. ❞ ❝ my doctor told me i have a vitamin d deficiency. wanna go back to my place and save me? ❞ ❝ if i flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head? ❞ ❝ my dick's been feeling a little dead lately. wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth? ❞ ❝ i'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight. ❞ ❝ is your name medusa? because the moment you look at me, i get rock hard. ❞ ❝ can you tell me what time your legs open, please? ❞ ❝ are you a rubix cube? because the more i play with you the harder you get. ❞ ❝ you look too god for a pickup line, so let's cut to the chase — wanna fuck? ❞

#memes

[fearxtoxfreedom]

i swear that elle would have said yes if reid ever asked her out. i feel she was hinting/pushing for it & he just never got the clue.

#𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝔸𝔹𝕆𝕌𝕋. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 ℝ𝔼𝕀𝔻. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟙. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

ELLE GREENAWAY in 01x22 | THE FISHER KING (1 of 2)

#THAT LOOK ON HER FACE IN THE BOTTOM LEFT GIF. #I CAN'T. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕄𝕀ℝℝ𝕆ℝ. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝔸𝔹𝕆𝕌𝕋. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟙.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

Receiver pressed to ear, dark eyes honed in on the WET, STICKY SPOT, smeared across the knee of her jeans. Caroline hadn't been lying. Girl had been close. If Liz hadn't called at just the right moment, denim would have been drenched through as her step-daughter gushed cum all over it. (yes, she was that confident in her own abilities) — MADE HER PARANOID. Timing was almost... Too perfect. Wasn't it? What were the odds Liz had bugged the house, or set up security cameras after her attack? She wouldn't do that without TELLING HER, right? That would be an invasion of her privacy. (unless she was hoping to catch caroline & elle in the act) No. She was overthinking this. Liz wasn't that kind of person. It was just a coincidence. Nothing more. Hell, if she had witnessed what was happening between her girlfriend & her daughter, she wouldn't just call. She'd drive her ass home & CRASH THE PARTY. Intoxicated smile when the woman on the other end of the phone called her honey. Followed by a swift blow to the gut by her guilty conscience as index-finger thoughtlessly swept across the sticky spot on her jeans. Her own clit was still vigorously throbbing. She wasn't about to admit it, but Caroline hadn't been the only one who was CLOSE. Having the hot young thing screaming in pleasure for her. Bucking wildly against her knee. Pinching that pretty pink nipple. Sucking & biting at her neck. FUCK. It had stirred something deep within herself. Something dark. Disgusting. Immoral. & Totally messed up on every level. Knowing that she shouldn't be doing it, in some really SICK & TWISTED way, had only served to turn her on more. She hated herself for how much she loved it.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Really. You worry too much." & For once, she actually meant it. Tonight might have started out with Elle drowning her sorrows in a bottle of gin, but it had ended with her drowning in Liz's BABY GIRL. She wasn't alone. & She wasn't sad anymore. For the first time in weeks, she was completely distracted from her trauma. She wasn't even thinking about Randall Garner or the fresh scar on her chest. (not while with liz?) Another kick from her conscience. She should have DIED & gone to Heaven with her dad when she had the chance. No shot they were letting her inside after this — "Thanks, mom." She teases. Small, drunken laugh & a roll of eyes in Caroline's direction. BIG MISTAKE.

Zero attempt had been made to put her dress back on. She was just laying there. Half-naked. Body exposed. Pasty legs spread wide. Darkened panties damp & clinging to swollen pussy lips. Elle could make out the entire outline of her cunt. Teeth gnawed at bottom lip when she spotted bulbous clit, engorged & straining against cotton. If she'd really been that close, it must be so sensitive right now. SHE WAS GAWKING. Could anyone blame her? She loved Liz, genuinely with all her heart, but Caroline was a very attractive young girl who had been throwing herself at her FOR MONTHS. Even the most loyal of lovers might crack. She'd really meant what she said earlier ; She was drunk & Caroline was hot. That was all it boiled down to in that moment for her. Agent shifted her phone from right hand to left, so that she could lightly smack the right over her step-daughter's stupid mouth when she spoke. Man, this was gonna blow up in her face. Did she really think she could hide something this big from a trained cop, when her accomplice was a self-serving, overly-emotional, obsessive, borderline-histrionic teenage girl? (& the worst liar she had ever met to boot) "Don't be like that. It's a good thing. You guys can't keep babying me forever. She just turned eighteen. She should be out having fun with her friends, not worried sick about ME." Though, it was a lie that Caroline was doing that, Elle really did believe it would be a good thing for her. She had to wonder if one of the reasons she hadn't been able to forget about the shooting around Liz, was because she was constantly treating her LIKE THIS. Made it kind of hard to move on with her life, when the people around her refused to do so. Was like a constant reminder, following her around. Protecting her from life itself.

Hand remained over Caroline's mouth until the girl pushed off the couch, raising the glass she'd stolen. Agent offered a weak nod. (as if she was scared liz would hear it somehow) To signal that she wanted another drink. RAVENOUS PITS dropping to those fleshy cheeks as they bounced with every step the blonde took. Panties ridden up just enough to show more skin. Had Caroline always had such a nice ass? (had she been doing squats?) — "Just some stupid lifetime original that was on. Caught my eye. It's about this girl whose husband has been killed and replaced by his twin brother. I must be REALLY drunk cause I'm kind of invested. I hope she kills the bastard when she finds out." Wasn't something she'd typically watch, but she figured that would make it more believable than if she just blurted out one of her top five favorites. The right amount of detail was important when it came to telling A GOOD LIE. You shouldn't over-explain or be too short. Had she succeeded in convincing Liz? Only time would tell. "Mhm..." Soft, sleepy hum of approval. "DiCaprio sounds good. Whatever you want, babe." Eyes are closed now & she's grinning just thinking about it. She loved their movie nights. She LOVED Elizabeth Forbes. "Yup. You're still my number one." Elle had assigned her to 1 for a reason, "As much as I'd love to see you, I'm just gonna sleep this off. See you after your shift." With that, she hung up the phone, setting it on the end table & letting out a loud sigh of relief. Even with the liquid courage, that had been the most NERVE-RACKING conversation of her life.

Using the arm of the couch as a crutch, Elle pushed herself to her feet, wobbling a bit more than she was proud of. She'd already downed half a bottle of gin. (minus whatever caroline had stolen) She really didn't NEED another drink. Didn't even know if her body could handle it. But, for the sake of her SANITY? She'd keep going until she passed out in a pool of her own vomit if need be. Then she'd write this all off as a liquor-induced screwup, & pretend like she couldn't remember the details come morning. God. She was THE FUCKING WORST. Liz deserved better. Hell, Caroline deserved better. Speaking of which, treacherous eyes dipped to drink in that perfect ass one more time, as she approached the other from behind. Tongue darted across lips. Nipples hard & aching. Clit thrumming. Mind racing with extremely not safe for work images. Most of which involved bending her step-daughter over the countertop, ripping panties to the side, & —

“So what now…?”

Lips curled into the teeniest little smirk as she sidled up behind the young girl, & perched her chin upon one of those bare shoulders. Pressing cheek against flesh, HOT & FLUSH WITH AROUSAL. Her own chest crushed into Caroline's prominent shoulder-blades, nipples scraping across bone. "Mm...I was just thinking..." Words are slurred. She's practically speaking into the other's ear. Sultry breath rushing across skin. She reaches for the drink that has been poured for her, fingers circling glass, but she doesn't lift it. "We both know you've HAD A THING for me for, like, ever." Since she was fourteen, to be exact. Brokeback Mountain accidental gay awakening, etcetera, etcetera. "I'm curious. What's your favorite fantasy you ever had?" She pauses, turning to drag her nose across that long slender throat, "And do you wanna make it a reality?" Elle had STIPULATIONS. Which she'd divulge if Caroline didn't turn her down. (who was she kidding, it was caroline) "I figure..." Conscience was kicking & screaming at her, but she was too far gone. She'd already made the decision to finish what she started when she told Liz to stay at work. "We've already cheated. And your mom's already gonna hate us. Might as well MAKE YOU CUM." Way she logicked it, no matter what they did now, they'd already fucked up. Maybe fucking Caroline really WOULD help her get over her crush & move on? That was what she'd suggested when she started humping her leg. Or maybe... SHE JUST WANTED TO FUCK HER.

#xbornxsurvivorsx #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝕆𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔼. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 𝕃𝕀ℤ. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

girl can still get it. [Lola's Instagram]

#so. lola. how do you feel about coming back to criminal minds 20 years later pretty pls. so i can have milf elle? #gilf? maybe she's 52 idk idc i just want a season 17 criminal minds verse for her. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕄𝕀ℝℝ𝕆ℝ. #𝕍. ℙ𝕆𝕊𝕋 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚. #lola glaudini

[fearxtoxfreedom]

SPINE ARCHED off the couch, body subconsciously seeking more of Caroline's touch, those dainty digits climbing her ribcage like a ladder. Rung. To Rung. To Rung. & SHE STOPED. Nails scraping at the sensitive flesh just beneath the underwire of her bra. Leaving behind fire in their wake. (part of her wanted her to dig deeper - to really hurt her) She was burning up. Alcohol in her system wasn't helping. & As much as she knew she NEEDED to push the teenager away, for Liz's sake, she didn't actually WANT to, "Oh fuck..." She shoved her chest out, "Caroline..." Guttural groan. Urging the girl to explore further, but she hesitated. Thank god her conscience kicked in, (cause elle didn't think she'd be able to stop her) — "Yeah. Sorry about that." She didn't sound sorry. Mostly because, SHE WASN'T. Liz was her girlfriend. Of course she was gonna have sex with her. If her step-daughter didn't want to hear it, she could pop in some headphones & listen to music or something. Maybe go over to Bonnie's house to escape. She was eighteen now. & Liz wouldn't say no to getting some private time with Elle. Could it be that was why she suffered through it? She knew that if she left the house, the two would GO BUCK WILD on every surface of the Forbes's residence? Some part of her was still convinced that Caroline was just a perv who GOT OFF ON IT. "Mm..." Soft hum. Metallic tang of her own blood tasted even better off that finger. Desire-darkened eyes were nearly black. Tongue swept across bloodied digit, lids flittering as the bitter taste assaulted tastebuds. Clit throbbing agonizingly between arousal-slick folds. She was drenched through her panties. Caroline didn't know this about her, (& that was for the best), but this kind of thing really got her juices flowing. She was tempted to suck index-finger into her hot, hungering mouth, but she stopped herself. If she did that, there would be NO GOING BACK.

"I don't make this easy?" Words are slurred. Jumbled. Almost unintelligible. (christ. how much had she had to drink?) She scoffs & chuckles under her breath, "Look in the mirror." Cause it wasn't HER who had crawled into the other's lap, humping their leg like a needy BITCH IN HEAT — Elle's hands had found Caroline's bony hips, in an attempt to push her away. At least that was what she'd tell herself later. In reality, she was guiding the girl's body in rhythm with deliberate rocks of her knee into that panty-clad pussy. Even through her jeans, she could FEEL how wet the blonde was for her. Denim hot, damp, & sticky. In her intoxicated state, she didn't have the same level of skill as she typically did. Bony knee SLOPPILY SLAPPING against that engorged bundle of nerves. She was just trying to push her away. Right? Yeah, that's right. That was all she was doing. LIAR.

"YOU LIKE THAT...?" Three breathy words that tumbled past ruby lips before she could catch & swallow them. She was way too fucking drunk for this. They both were. She needed desperately to regain her composure, BE THE ADULT, & put an end to this. (they'd already cheated, hadn't they?) Eyes rolled back in her skull & she basked in the sound of her precious step-daughter cursing at the top of her lungs for her. It sounded SWEETER than it should have. Hooded eyes followed Caroline's down toward her own breasts. Brows raising when she spotted hardened nipples straining against the thin red fabric of her top. Okay. That one was gonna be hard to explain away. "What can I say? I'm really drunk and you're really hot." Things she shouldn't say for 100, Alex. "Mmh..." Elle craned her neck further to give more access as the young girl WENT TO TOWN on her neck. Kissing. Sucking. Nipping. & Scraping teeth across pulse-point. That in particular, caused her entire body to tremble. Manicured nails sinking into Caroline's hips. EXCAVATING FLESH — There was her phone. Right on time. It was like Liz could sense how close Elle was to making the second biggest mistake of her life. First, saying that she hated her dad when she was three, before he died in the line of duty. Third, going home that day when Hotch ordered her to. (yes, this was even worse than that. she'd rather be dead than hurt liz)

NEXT MINUTE WAS A BLUR — Panic combined with the liquor in her system & how quickly she'd reached for her phone, had the entire room spinning around them. Then there was the way Caroline's tight abdomen tensed beneath her palm, when she physically put a stop to her advances. Proving that she'd had THE POWER to do so all along. (which of course she had, she was a trained FBI agent. caroline was a teenage girl) When the blonde relents, climbing out of her lap & tossing her half-naked body on the couch beside her, Elle flashes her a look that says 'Thanks.' Answering the phone, just in time to have Caroline press that hot half-naked body right up against her side, swiping her drink. BREATH CATCHES in her throat, & she prays that Liz didn't hear it. Or writes it off as her simply being drunk, "Sorry, babe." Pet-name comes naturally. Surely to Caroline's disgust. She could honestly care less right about now. (girl didn't have a leg to stand on. probably couldn't stand at all) "M'okay. Just watching a movie." Guilt kicks violently at her gut. She's the WORST girlfriend ever. (& she's about to get even worse) — Glance over at the exposed teen through heavy lids. She's tired. Alcohol always had this effect on her. "Caroline went over to Bonnie's." LIAR. "Thanks. Means a lot. But, I think I'm just gonna lay down and take a nap 'til your shift ends. You don't need to take off work. REALLY." (please don't) "I love you." Yes, she was fully aware that Caroline was listening in on the conversation & fuming beside her.

#xbornxsurvivorsx #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝕆𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔼. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 𝕃𝕀ℤ. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

Criminal Minds 1.22 | The Fisher King: Part 1

#This gotta be one of my top 5 scenes of the show #SHE SO SASSY. THIS IS AN INTERROGATION ELLE. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕄𝕀ℝℝ𝕆ℝ. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝔸𝔹𝕆𝕌𝕋. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟙.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

"JUST DID." Detox wasn't going as intended. That was the thing about addicts. You could love them with everything you had, but you could never change them. Not really. It was up to THEM to man up & take that first step. & If they truly didn't want to, there was nothing you could do about it. They would continue down their destructive path, dragging along everyone who loved them. Without a care in the world. If it were anybody else, Elle would have dropped them off at the nearest police station or rehab center, & washed her hands clean of it. Wasn't her responsibility. & She sure as hell wasn't in the right headspace to be taking care of SOME HOPELESS KID. (if she had been, she would have stayed in mystic falls) — But, this wasn't just some stranger. This was Vicki Donovan. One of her ex-lovers, & boy had she been through the wringer. Almost murdered. TWICE. Scar thrummed between her breasts, as if reminding her that she & Vicki had something in common.

Maybe that was part of it? She related to her? Understood what it was like to go through something like that, & how it could BREAK A PERSON. Girl's mother hadn't even bothered to come home when the police called her with the news. Elle couldn't imagine what that felt like. Vicki was SO ALONE in the world. She couldn't drag her to some police station where she'd be locked up, or abandon her at a rehab center. She needed to help her through this. Even if she really didn't want to deal with someone else's trauma right now. She had plenty of her own. (call her selfish) "Stimulants disrupt sleep patterns, leading to difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. Depending on how long you've been abusing them, you might not have had a good night's sleep in months. They also suppress your appetite. Which explains why you've lost so much weight." Seriously, she'd always been lanky, but it was clear just by looking at her, that muscles had atrophied. All that was left was SKIN & BONES. "You're also majorly dehydrated." She grabbed a bottle of water out of the mini-refrigerator, tossing it at the other, before taking a seat. She'd bought a pack of them to stock up. "You threw up on them. AND ME. Thanks for that." She's mostly teasing, (though, it was absolutely disgusting & she could still smell it) "They're in the laundry room downstairs. Don't worry I disposed of what I found in them first." She was pretty sure THAT would be what worried the junkie.

"You can wear a pair of mine. IF THEY FIT." Elle was skinny, but she wasn't a skeleton. They might slip right off Vicki's hips. She pointed her thumb at the luggage. She'd dragged it into the room when she decided to take care of the girl. If this was gonna work, she couldn't take her eyes off Vicki for EVEN ONE SECOND. Dealers in New York were as common as roaches. & Odds were the drug addict knew most of them. She'd relapse so fast. "Liz and I are...We're kind of on a break." Only she hadn't told Liz, instead running away from her problems like A PETULANT CHILD. "Either way, I don't think she'd care if you wore my jeans. As long as we weren't screwing each other." Which they weren't. Yet. "VICKI." Tone was reprimanding when she shamelessly swept up the cocaine residue, rubbing it on gums right in front of Elle's face. Pushing to her feet, she bridged the gap, snatching at that wrist. Hoping she didn't hurt the poor thing. (not that she could feel it) She felt so THIN & FRAGILE beneath her fingers. "We talked about this. You're getting clean, or I'M GONE." Was it an empty threat? Time would tell. Elle wanted to believe that she'd have the strength to walk away. She couldn't waste years of her life trying to fix someone who WANTED TO BE BROKEN. Dark browns traveled down that thin arm, littered in fresh track marks. Jesus. What all had Vicki gotten into since leaving Mystic Falls? Eyes dipped lower & that was when she remembered that the other didn't have any pants on. Panties either, it seemed. There she was on the bed, toothpick legs crossed, & business out in the open. She stared for a moment longer than she should have before tossing her wrist, "GET DRESSED. We'll get breakfast."

#xbornxsurvivorsx #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 𝕍𝕀ℂ𝕂𝕀. #𝕍. ℙ𝕆𝕊𝕋 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

There's relief & a swell of pride when Gideon TRUSTS HER to take care of this. Excusing himself to wait in the car & check in with Hotch. Not only because she has complete faith in herself to get through to Terra, but because it means he does too. This was the first time since joining the BAU, that she actually felt like she was PART of the team. (instead of outside looking in) — "HM?" Elle is ripped from her thoughts when the actress brings up one of the victim's names. She'd been brutally butchered in her condo. First shot in the head, then dismembered. Unsub had used her body parts to create... What he likely believed to be... An artistic masterpiece. Crime scene photos in the case files had been disturbing. To say the least. She'd been having lucid night terrors, thrashing around in bed as her mind tormented her, waking up in layers of cold sweat, ever since she saw them. Elle could SWEAR that she felt the hacksaw carving through flesh & bone. But, when she awoke, she was safe & sound in her hotel room. Tracy Keller couldn't say the same. Was for the best she leave out the gruesome details. "That's right. You knew her, didn't you?" She had been one of the leads that pointed them in Terra's direction. All the tabloids read that the two of them had QUITE the rivalry. Always at each other's throats. Typical Hollywood drama. Whether they were baseless rumors drummed up by the paparazzi, or founded in truth, wouldn't matter to this sicko. Tracy was the perfect target for an obsessive unsub eliminating the competition. Team was already investigating other potential rivals Terra might have had. (the ones that weren't already dead)

Agent allows the younger girl to lead her back into the kitchen, watching her closely as she takes a drink of what MUST be cold coffee by now. Those brown eyes are flooded with anxiety. It sucked that she had to be scared, but it was GOOD that she was. Meant she was finally recognizing the weight of the situation. Would make it that much easier to keep her safe. Elle could count on all her fingers & toes the number of times a protectee decided they were ABOVE protection. That they didn't care if someone was after them. Eleven of those people were dead now. (three injured. six lucky) "I don't think you're in danger, Miss Stephens. I KNOW you're in danger." She took a seat at the kitchen table next to the other, reaching across it to place a comforting hand over Terra's. Giving a small reassuring squeeze & flashing the teeniest, hopeful smile. "But everything WILL be alright if you cooperate with us." Hand lingered absentmindedly, thumb delicately stroking across the back of the actress's, "Like I said. He's top of the suspect list. Along with any other men you know that fit the age range." Hell, didn't even technically have to fit the age range. Sometimes Hotch was wrong. (but it wasn't often) "Do you have any older ex-boyfriends? Are you dating anyone right now? Known stalkers? Any info that can help would be greatly appreciated." ANOTHER GENTLE SQUEEZE.

#dcaddove #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 𝕋𝔼ℝℝ𝔸. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟙.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

#SCENES THAT LIVE RENT FREE IN MY HEAD. #HER FACE IN THAT LAST GIF. YOU TRIED RIED. YOU FAILED. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕄𝕀ℝℝ𝕆ℝ. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 ℝ𝔼𝕀𝔻. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

you know elle is such a softie tho. like she just wanna cradle ur muse & treat them like her baby gorl. but also she can be a huge bitch.

#i just love how she's always like first to rush to the victims & comfort them she so protective & loving & unappreciated #if ur muse is a boy besides reid she will not cradle them like a baby gorl tho #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝔸𝔹𝕆𝕌𝕋. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 : 𝔻𝔼𝕊𝕀ℝ𝔼𝕊. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟙. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚. #𝕍. ℙ𝕆𝕊𝕋 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

Arms crossed. Chin lifted. Neck craned to the side. Dark browns fixed intensely on one of the photos framed & hanging on the wall. It was of her & Caroline on the girl's eleventh birthday. TAKEN BY LIZ. Small child was holding up the barbie set Elle had bought for her. Flashing a big dimpled smile as she waved to the camera. She'd been so excited to get to spend time with her mom. (& with her "auntie elle" too) That was always Caroline's favorite part of her birthday — Staring at that photo, typically brought with it a sense of JOY & NOSTALGIA. In fact, after her shooting, the agent had spent a lot of time doing just that. Delicately cradling it in her hands on the couch, while the others were away at work & school, & she was ALONE in the house. Sometimes she'd put on some music, hold it to her chest, & just let out all of the emotions. Curling up in cushions & crying until everything went NUMB. No one knew about that. She always made sure to clean the glass & hang it up afterwards. Right now, that photo served as something to get lost in, while she disassociated & drowned out Caroline's aggression. Aggrieved exhale passed lips, nails burrowing into the crook of elbow until she FELT PAIN. Helped to ground her in reality, "I don't think you're a psychopath, Caroline. I think you're a troubled child who has a lot of issues you need to sort out." THAT WAS THE TRUTH. "Plenty of children of divorce, who struggle with similar psychological hurdles, grow up into upstanding members of society. Most, even." The scumbags she'd come across who didn't, WERE THE RARE BREED.

She has to bite her tongue. LITERALLY. When the other mocks her intelligence. Canines digging into muscle until it stings. Flesh on the crook of her elbow has been scratched RAW & RED. (when had she started scratching it?) "You're lashing out, Caroline." Aggression was a standard response to being psychoanalyzed. Many suspects responded in the very same way. Caroline had always been an EMOTIONAL girl. It was important not to let it get to her. As the adult, & a trained FBI agent, she needed to remain calm. If she lashed back, this would turn into an all out war. Easier said than done. Elle was the type to let emotions drive her during investigations. She struggled to separate herself from the cases. She'd even verbally threatened & ridiculed some of the guys they caught. (to which hotch had scolded her) Those cases weren't even personal to her. This one was. This was her step-daughter. & She was being a major PAIN IN THE ASS. "That doesn't make the point any less valid. If those boys had done those things with their friends' moms, it would only make their infatuation deeper. Considering our age difference, I shouldn't have ever treated you like a friend. THAT'S ON ME." Cheeks were sucked between molars & chomped down on. Hard. Jawbone jutting beneath flesh. Fist curling into a ball against bicep, nails shoveling into palm. It was taking every ounce of self-control she possessed not to raise her voice & shout back. "I'm not giving definitive evidence. These are only possibilities for why you might be behaving the way you are."

"That's WHY I asked if you'd dated another woman. If you haven't ever been physically attracted to anyone...Besides me...Then it could absolutely be hormones acting up." There was a difference between choosing someone that you found attracted to from a pool of options, & them being THE ONLY OPTION. This was Mystic Falls, Virginia. & Despite the freak accident that was Caroline's whole family, (herself included), there weren't a lot of gay people here. Which meant, there weren't many opportunities for the teenager to experiment with her sexuality. So, of course, she'd get stuck on the girl who had AWAKENED HER to all of these feelings. Especially when you considered that Elle hadn't always managed to keep their relationship "friendly." That night on the couch, she'd been so weak, it would haunt her to her grave. "Okay. That's BULLSHIT. And you know it." Word was spat with fury as she turned to look back at the other, freeing hands & waving one in the air, "I had so many problems with you dating that asshole. His age was just one of them." She'd been very verbal about it. About how she suspected him for the murders, & how it was CREEPY AS HELL that someone his age was dating Caroline, & surrounding himself with teenagers. Liz had been too lenient for her liking. She'd even got into a fight with her about it. (not that caroline knew that) Such was THE CURSE of being the stepmom. You didn't get to make the final decisions for your daughter. Just had to sit by & watch it happen. Shaky breath as she came down from initial anger, hand dropping to the side, but remaining clenched, "This isn't about age." Though, with how defensive she was getting, Elle was starting to think that her mommy/daddy issue theory wasn't actually THAT FAR OFF THE MARK.

This was about her being IN LOVE with Elizabeth Forbes. Which were the words that would send Caroline spiraling off the deep end. "Yeah..." Voice CRACKED under the weight of the confession. She hadn't even told Liz that she was in love with her, yet. This wasn't the way she'd planned to admit it. (honestly, she was never planning to say the words out loud) "That's why you need to move on..." Not because she WANTED IT. & Not because Caroline wanted it, either. But, because Liz deserved that respect from her girlfriend & her daughter. She shouldn't have to live a life of paranoia. Constantly looking over her shoulder. Terrified that the two closest people to her, were secretly messing around BEHIND HER BACK.

HEART WRENCHED AGONIZINGLY. Eyes wide. Glossed over with tears, now stubbornly clinging to lashes. Threatening to break through the dam & cascade down cheeks. She wasn't gonna cry, though. Even if it killed her to witness the shell of a girl she'd loved & raised for all those years, crumble to the floor, A BROKEN, SOBBING MESS. Knowing it was all her fault & that she couldn't do anything to fix it. How was she supposed to help pick up the pieces, when she was the one who had scattered them? — "Jesus, Caroline. Be careful." Elle was quick to bridge the gap between the two when the blonde VIOLENTLY SMACKED her head against drywall. Concern written across face. She squatted down on the ground in front of the other, & gently cupped her skull in her palm. This way, if she slammed it against the wall again, it would only be the back of HER hand that got injured. Those big, desperate, puffy blues had turned to meet anxious & horrified browns. Question followed. Caroline was hopeless. Feeling like she was insane. Begging for clarity. & That was what Elle was gonna give her. For better or for worse. "Can I be honest with you, without you getting the wrong idea?" Answer was NO. & She knew it. But, she didn't wanna LIE to the poor thing. Didn't want to gaslight her into thinking that feelings had never existed & that Caroline had made it all up in her head. How FUCKED would that be?

Keeping one hand on the back of Caroline's skull to protect it, the other reached to LOVINGLY CRADLE her cheek. Thumb delicately brushing across tear-swollen flesh. Gentle & soothing. "You're not stupid. None of this is your fault, Care..." Voice trailed off, she chewed on lip & contemplated how to continue. (saying the wrong thing here could screw everything up) "These things you noticed... Me liking you... That wasn't all made up in your head." Eyelids flittered shut. She felt light-headed & dizzy. QUIVERING BREATHS. In & Out. In & Out. Heart was beating her senseless. After a moment she reopened her eyes, & forced herself to say the words, "I do like you. I have. For a while now. Think we both know that. But, I'm IN LOVE with your mom." Maybe Elle was hoping that if she differentiated it, Caroline would recognize that her love for her mom wasn't the same as her attraction toward the teenager. "And you LOVE your mom, don't you? That's why... Even though I do like you... And even though it sucks..." (for caroline or for herself?) "...I think it would be best if you move on and find someone else to make you HAPPY. And... I really hope you can find that." Thought made her sick. "Cause it's not just your mom who deserves to be happy."

#𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝕆𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔼. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚. #xbornxsurvivorsx

[fearxtoxfreedom]

"NOT. HELPING." — Words were spat with venom in Vicki's direction. (the 'mommy' comment pissed her off) Though, she never once took her eyes off of Caroline. She didn't expect the junkie to CARE. Hell, she was probably saying these things with every intention of digging under the blonde's skin & spiting her. She was still high off her last dose, but she'd be coming down from it. Itching for another hit. Withdrawal symptoms would be kicking in. Paranoia & anxiety going through the roof. IRRITABILITY at an all-time high. & That was precisely why Elle needed to calm Caroline down & defuse the situation. Because, if she didn't, there was a very real possibility that Vicki would attack her. & Vicki couldn't feel her body right now. She was still in that invincible phase. Like NOTHING could hurt her. "I haven't been answering it for anyone." She'd avoided Kirby's calls. Caroline & Liz's calls. Rebekah. Bonnie. Even Reid had finally tried to contact her & she'd ignored it. She would have never reached out to Vicki if happenstance hadn't decided she run into her at this very Casino. Strung out on the ground halfway between the pit & her hotel room. Being taken advantage of by some asshole. What was she supposed to do, LET IT HAPPEN? She might not be part of the BAU anymore, but she still had her morals. (& her gun)

"I'm NOT shacking up with her." Voise rose. On the verge of shouting at the other. She was trying her damnedest to remain calm — She'd been drunk & spiraling again when she ran into Vicki on the way to her own hotel room. Sight of the girl in trouble had SOBERED HER UP. Wasn't until after she pulled the scumbag off & threatened to kill him, that she realized who it was. Small world, it would seem. What were the odds? She ran to New York to GET THE HELL AWAY from Mystic Falls, only to stumble across one of her ex-lovers, & one of the victims in the murder case she'd been taken off of when she resigned. The very same murder case that her now ex-girlfriend was in charge of. (still girlfriend? they'd never technically broken up) Not even two weeks later, Caroline had shown up. It felt like A HUGE SET UP. If Caroline & Vicki weren't at each other's throats, she might have believed that it was. "I was staying in the room down the hall. I ran into her on my way back the other night and..." Tone was softer, she was attempting to get through to that tiny bit of EMPATHY the young girl possessed, "She's not in a good place, Care. Some asshat was getting handsy with her. She was so doped up she couldn't even walk." (or defend herself) "She already relapsed once. I'm just trying to HELP HER." Vicki wasn't going to like that Elle was divulging her personal info. She knew it. But, she needed Caroline to understand.

"You're jumping to conclusions. I'm not sleeping with her." Well, okay, so she HAD slept in the same bed as her, but they weren't having sex. (girl had been questionably touchy on more than a few occasions, though) "She's wearing clothes. Vicki can you show her you're wearing clothes." Main focus was on Caroline, however, she was still watching the brunette out of the corner of her eye. Specifically to make sure she didn't do something STUPID, like reach for the switchblade on the dresser. "Uh. Yeah. Sorry." Grip released on those biceps, "I'm okay..." (she was so far from okay) — "Of course they're all here. Why wouldn't they be." DRY SARCASM. Elle let out a sigh, dragging fingers through her hair, scraping nails across scalp. She had one hell of a headache & it was getting worse by the minute. Pure, unadulterated panic shot through her when Vicki snatched up the switchblade, popping it open. She instantly transitioned into FBI trained Agent Greenaway, hands held out in front of herself, "VICKI. Put the knife down. They aren't here to arrest you. They're just here for me. The only way I can make them leave is if I LEAVE." If they'd gone to such lengths to locate her, they weren't gonna turn tail back for Mystic Falls just cause she said to 'go home'.

#xbornxsurvivorsx #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝕆𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔼. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 𝕍𝕀ℂ𝕂𝕀. #𝕍. ℙ𝕆𝕊𝕋 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

Elle rolled her eyes at Kirby & Morgan as they teased her like literal grade-schoolers on the playground — "Oh yeah, REAL mature, guys. She's not my girlfriend." Did they believe her? Did it matter? Despite how incriminating the evidence, Caroline Forbes was not in fact her jealous girlfriend. (even if she was acting like one) Once in the hallway, she leant against the wall, looking down at her shoes as she listened to the other LOSE HER GODDAMN MIND. "It's my job, Caroline. When I'm not in a meeting, I'm doing paperwork, or I'm out on the field." Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out, "You're lucky you caught me in a briefing and not in an active operation. Distraction like that could have screwed everything up. Got someone killed." (got her killed) She lets out an aggravated sigh, "Bonnie. Of course." That explained a lot. "Man, those visions of hers are getting real freaky." Guessing right a couple of times was one thing. Guessing right EVERY time, was another. "When you say she saw me with her, what do you mean by that? With the team... Or...?" That she even needed to ask the question should be ringing alarm bells for the girl on the other side of the phone. She was fishing. Needed to know what all Bonnie had told her, so that she could continue to HIDE her past with Kirby from Caroline & Liz. It really wasn't important for them to know, was it? The two of them had stopped fucking around after she & Liz became serious. (not that kirby knew that was why)

"No. I haven't slept with JJ. She asked, but I wasn't into it." She's teasing. Though, the wild leap confirmed her fears. At some point Bonnie must have touched her, or something that belonged to her, & got one of those weird visions of Kirby & her GOING AT IT LIKE RABBITS. It really must suck to be Bonnie Bennett. "I didn't tell you because it's against protocol to discuss details about my team with civilians." Pause. "But, more importantly, I didn't tell you because it's none of your business and I didn't want to." She wasn't dating Caroline. She had only recently become more serious with HER MOM. "Your mom knows she's on the team." (just not about the other part)

#xneedxsomebodyx #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝕆𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔼. #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 𝕂𝕀ℝ𝔹𝕐. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟙.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

"I'd call it a schoolgirl crush, that developed at a very young age toward your mother's best friend. Likely due to the fact that she was the only parental figure in your life that you didn't harbor deep-seated resentment toward." If Caroline didn't want to be PSYCHOANALYZED, she really shouldn't ask a trained expert in the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit such questions. It was KIND OF HER JOB. "It's typical for teenage boys to develop these crushes on their friend's moms. It could be that you admire and look up to certain character traits I possess. The number of times you've called me "badass" is pretty telling." Pause in her profiling, "Or, it could just be HORMONES." In other words ; Puberty hit, Caroline was horny for the first time ever, & Elle had accidentally stoked the fire by changing in front of the poor thing unaware of her... DESIRES. "You've dated boys before, but have you ever tried dating another woman?" Even while in logic mode, her gut twisted & tangled painfully at the thought of the blonde being intimate with someone of the same sex. Honestly, the thought of her being intimate with ANYONE disgusted Elle. (that was worrisome) "The reason I don't want to sleep with you isn't because I'm your stepmom, Caroline. It's because I'm in love with your mother." Words would serve as a verbal slap across that pretty face. But she NEEDED to hear it. (& maybe elle needed to remind herself of it)

"So what you want me to GET OVER YOU? You're telling me to GET OVER YOU? To MOVE ON? To FIND SOMEONE ELSE?"

Stomach lurched at the barrage of questions. Acid CRASHING LIKE WAVES against mucosa. Heart seizing in her chest. She had to force dark eyes away when Caroline bridged the gap between their bodies. Staring her dead in the eyes. Waiting for an explanation that Elle didn't have. Chin lifted CONFIDENTLY. As though she already knew the answer to the questions (or maybe she was just bluffing) — Bottom lip was sucked between incisors, tongue sweeping across it anxiously. Dainty digits tugging at the denim of jeans. Was HER SILENCE enough of an answer for Caroline? God. She hoped not. Seconds crawled by. Felt like hours. "I want you to do whatever YOU NEED to do to be happy. If that means...Moving on and finding someone else..." Chest was so tight, felt like she was DYING ALL OVER AGAIN. "Then yeah. You should do that." In short ; No. Elle didn't want Caroline to move on & find someone else. But, she would try her damnedest to support her if it made her happy. "I want to date your mom. If that makes me your mom, then yeah, I guess I want to be your mom."

#xneedxsomebodyx #𝔼𝕃𝕃𝔼 𝕩 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝕆𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔼. #𝕍. 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ 𝟚.