farmbxy

[farmbxy]

"Plans?" Ted asked suspiciously. "We don't make plans. It's the Ravenclaws that makes them, mate."

farmbxy;;

                      ” If you tell me the Gryffindor game plans for the next match—                                       I promise to go easy on you.  ”

#hestiajoncs #he's like what are you even talking about #i'm a chaser

[farmbxy]

// Pretty much followed every member of the Black family I could find. Y'all come hate on Ted, okay? Ok.

#outofmagic #feel free to abuse this

[farmbxy]

Independent Edward Theodore “Ted” Tonks

Based on the books by J. K. Rowling and author’s own headcanons.

Mun has two years rping experience.

Mun is familiar with the books.

21+, but will not smut with minors.

Para, multi-para style preferred.

Multi-ship blog. Maybe NSFW at times.

Open to all fandoms.

Askbox is always open for random questions or memes.

#self promo for ts #self promo

[farmbxy]

"It's also the worst kind of evidence to get rid of. We've both been in a war. We know how it works. Alas, You Know Who probably still thinks that blowing up people in their beds is the best way for them to die." He shook his head as he heard the children's voice. "Sorry. I honestly didn't think that a visit to the Burrough could turn into such a... lugubrious affair, Dromeda."

"Something like that, yes. All I want to say is that I’m very well capable of killing someone. The difference is, I do not enjoy this, unlike my older sister. And I don’t see what’s wrong with poison. I’ve never been good in Potions, but I know enough to let someone disappear. It’s much cleaner than stabbing them. I mean, if we’re only talking about the cleanest way, that’d probably be the curse we better not talk about. Blood is a horrible thing to get out of fabric." 

#ursamxnor #i don't even know

[farmbxy]

// Ted is getting it from all angles here and I like it a lot.

#outofmagic #highheelssharptongue #ursamxnor #theweaselette

[farmbxy]

"As would I, dear. Dora is our daughter and I would murder anyone that tries to lay a hand on her, but we must be honest with ourselves. The only way you could murder someone for spoiling a child's meal is putting poisoned dragon's liver in their wine and then watching them retch out their lungs. Speaking of, how much does a bottle of that cost? Fifty quid?"

"You shouldn’t underestimate me, Edward. That would be a big mistake. I didn’t end up in Slytherin for nothing, and I’m still a Black, never forget that. Not liking spiders doesn’t mean that I will not kill someone should they ever try to lay a finger on Dora."

#ursamxnor

[farmbxy]

"I'm a lion and no badger," Ted said pulling out his tie. "Otherwise, I would have kept my mouth shut and not confronted you. Regardless, you can go and talk to Xeno all you want. He'll be in the infirmary for a while."

"Here I thought you Hufflepuffs were supposed to be loyal? Selling out your friend like that? Why, it might even be enough to warm my dead heart." Rita mimes wiping a tear from her cheek. "But I’ll have to think about it, check out a few sources."

#highheelssharptongue

[farmbxy]

"That's true, but I know for a fact that you cannot murder anyone or anything. When was the last time that you started screaming because there was a spider in the attic and I was the one that had to kill it? Dear, dear, Dromeda, how many times must I tell you that your talk of murder is absolutely ridiculous?"

"Noo, you go and do your thing, Mister. All I want to say is, if someone would give Dora sweets before lunch or dinner, and she refuses to eat it because she’s already full, I would probably murder them. Then resurrect them, and then murder them again. With a very, very dull, rusty knife. You do not mess with meals, Ted. You deserved all those frying pans, honey bear."

#ursamxnor

[farmbxy]

"Xenophilius Lovegood tried to snog a certain Molly Prewett the other night," Ted said wondering whether his friend would care that his name ended up in the papers. "It did not end well for him. He's at the infirmary with two broken legs. Anything else you want to know?" 

"Benjy did, did he? Good to see Benjy knows what he’s talking about.” Rita gives a roll of her eyes. Unfortunately, Benjy had been right. "But that’s not what I meant. I deal in information, as you may have noticed. Scoop for scoop."

#highheelssharptongue

[farmbxy]

"Are you trying to tell me something?" He said as he tried to reach for her balled fist. "Hm? You think Molly Weasley can do me harm? If I remember correctly, I've suffered enough frying pans in the head from you when I fed Dora all those Turkish delights. And what can Molly do to me, anyway? Transfigure me into dog or something?"

"Well, tell that Molly, who’s currently preparing lunch. You are the one who spoils the kids, you’re going to face the consequences," she said, and playfully punched him.

#ursamxnor #gurl #do not mess with ted when he's spoiling other kids

[farmbxy]

"Perhaps, he does. I've never seen him in the morning, though."

"You’re funny, Mr. Tonks, but I think my da’ looks like a pot belly dragon, especially in the morning." 

#theweaselette

[farmbxy]

"Might as well, eh? Your father looks like a hipogriff too sometimes, doesn't he?"

"Ron, he eats like a hippogriff. I hope he inflates one day." 

#theweaselette

[farmbxy]

"May I remind you that Arthur and Molly are our friends and that we can spoil their children as much as we did Dora?"

[ farmbxy ]

"Ted, we’re not spoiling other people’s kids without their parents’ permission, remember?"

#ursamxnor

[farmbxy]

"You have good logic for a little thing," Ted said as he reached into the box and took one small cookie. "Did my dear wife teach you that or was it your mother?"

"Hmmm, let me think about it. Nah. The early bird gets the ginger snaps, and I’m the early bird!" Greedy fingers, five in fact, dug their way into the box to grab the three cookies that she could grasp. 

#theweaselette #i understand you #the weasleys and food #the fun never ends

[farmbxy]

"You can copy  transfiguration homework for a year," he said straightening up. "Benjy says that you nearly failed your last OWL for lack of studying."

"Aw, the white knight riding in to save his fair lady. How sweet. I might puke on it."

"But if you want something from me, Tonks, then I’m going to need something from you. What are you going to offer? What’s she worth to you?"

#highheelssharptongue

[farmbxy]

"I only brought one," he said as he untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. "Don't be greedy, dear. You should save some for your brothers."

"Three boxes, please, I’m hungry." 

#theweaselette #ikr? #so grown up

[farmbxy]

"You will care if my body or Andromeda's gets found in the dungeons. So, I strongly suggest that you stop spreading these scurrilous that she and I are more than friends."

“‘Course, honey pie. The better question is do I care?”

#highheelssharptongue