fanciedfairy

[fanciedfairy]

My sweet, sweet Bella angel baby. I see you and hear you everywhere I go on the farm. I bought you from Arizona to Ohio to Missouri and ultimately to the beloved farm you came to know and thrive on. Leaving you behind was never an option. You will always be my companion, my babygirl bellie. Each day since your passing has gotten so much worse as your absence really settles in. Losing you is something I will struggle to accept for years to come. You meant the world to me and still do. Bella, you were such a unique special beautiful babygirl and you will never be replaced. I was your human and you were my kitty cat. We fit together like milk and cookies. Bellie girl, you got me through the toughest times in the 7 years we were together and I believe you will still be there got me when it it my time.

[fanciedfairy]

May Sarton, "Of Grief", Selected Poems

#this is all of me right now

[fanciedfairy]

I had to put my kitty cat baby Bella down today. Her white blood cells started attacking her which led to a brain bleed at only 7 years old. My Bella butt was taken from me way too soon and I am really struggling on how to cope. I feel numb one moment and the next my eyes are a fire hydrant. My body is trembling. I miss her so much. She was my whole entire world. My home feels empty and hollow without her. My arms are sad without having her to hold and snuggle. I’m so heartbroken. I hate this so much. I requested ashes and I’m going to spread them where she was the happiest most beautiful babygirl in the whole world, the farm. I hope she gets to have all of the birdies and mice in heaven. She was taken away way too soon. I thought I was going to have her for another 10 years at least. I always hoped and prayed I’d have her past her 20th birthday and she didn’t even see her 10th. My sweet babygirl I am so so so sorry. I wish more than anything I could’ve done something to prevent this, I wish there was anything I could’ve done, anything anyone could do. I miss you so much my heart aches and my soul feels empty. You got me through so many hardships, always by my side. Every time I walked in the house, I could hear your four little paws racing to come see me just so you could flop on the floor and show me your belly. I see your favorite tree you loved to climb and I can’t stand it. I want to cut it down, but I know there’s a piece of you that still remains. My little stinky butt, I don’t know how I’m going to move forward without you. You were my sidekick, my companion, my entire world. I still can’t believe your gone. I hate walking through the door now. I hate going to bed because you aren’t there. I miss your purrs and your silly little bird calls while looking out the window. You will always be a part of me and you will always be my special babygirl. I love you endlessly and forever.

#tw pet death #tw pet loss #personal #bella

[fanciedfairy]

( via )

[fanciedfairy]

note to self: you don’t need to be positive all the time to be a good person

[fanciedfairy]

[fanciedfairy]

[fanciedfairy]

I love this axolotl cat dragon freak

[fanciedfairy]

@ninotbh

[fanciedfairy]

[fanciedfairy]

Glass stained moon window

[fanciedfairy]

[fanciedfairy]

Albert Camus, from a letter to Maria Casarès written in August 1948

[fanciedfairy]

It’s amazing how on the internet I’m like hey here’s a thing that helped me. Maybe it will help you.

And then someone is always like if I do that thing though it will kill me.

Probably don’t do it then. Idk what you want from me, man.

[fanciedfairy]

"Tired" by Langston Hughes.

[fanciedfairy]

Boundaries, what if

you and I and everyone else,

Worldwide understood

#let’s talk about boundaries #let’s talk about poetry #let’s talk about haiku #let’s talk about shit that’s real

[fanciedfairy]

omg ok put in the tags a food that makes u feel like life is worth living when you eat it. like u eat it and it’s soo good and everything’s fine actually

#my papabears pot roast and dinner rolls with honey butter #I’m weeping and salivating thinking about it #he’s across the world and I miss him but he’s completely healthy and okay