evolutiononthebrain

[evolutiononthebrain]

STOPPPP I SAID OUT LOUD 'I can't go back to therapy cause what if they fix me and i lose my swag' AND FROM ACROSS THE PARK RED HOOD POINTED AT ME AND SAID "HE GETS IT"

why is this my life now 😭😭

[evolutiononthebrain]

[evolutiononthebrain]

In gotham, we have no hate crimes. We have crime. that’s it. the mugger on 23rd doesn’t give a shit if your trans or not, he wants your fucking money. the scarecrow doesn’t care that you’re gay, you have a fear and he can capitalise on that. Fucking most of the Bats and rogues are queer, and homophobes get chased out of the city by feral birds and plants that Poison Ivy got to attack homophobic people.

No one gives a shit in Gotham. It’s just how we work.

[evolutiononthebrain]

[evolutiononthebrain]

My brother just entered my room. Looked me in my face and told me that the penguin agreed to his goonion contract... I don't know weather I should be concerned or irritated that he left without closing the DAMN DOOR-

[evolutiononthebrain]

Villain of the week, holding up a gun: "Put your hands up--"

Jason Todd, turning around dramatically: "Or what, you'll kill me?"

VOTW, visibly confused, holding the gun higher: "Yes. That's the whole point."

Dick, also with his hands down: "Jason, please just do what the man fucking says. I'm so sorry about him."

VOTW: "It's...okay."

Jason, rolling his eyes: "Again, with that shit, you're so patronizing. You ever had a boss like that? Treats you like some kind of idiot--"

VOTW, lowering gun: "Yeah, actually."

"--When you've been a successful crime boss for like five years now--"

VOTW, immediately confused: "Wait, what?"

[evolutiononthebrain]

back when i used to live with my siblings, they would joke about how i was like a cat and they used to call me by saying 'pspspspspsps'

and NOW

YEARS LATER

DAMIAN FUCKING WAYNE IS LETTING HIS CAT EXPLORE THE PARK

AND HE SAYS 'PSPSPSPSPS'

AND I FUCKING RESPOND BY LOOKING UP AND GOING, "hm?" LIKE A SKYRIM NPC

I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING

[evolutiononthebrain]

The Colony is on Chitter Again

Batman has repeatedly told the rest of the Colony to not go on Chitter, but once again they are causing a mess. As they deserve, honestly.

To view their Chitters, click here.

[evolutiononthebrain]

Got to love Gotham. The citizens made a dating simulator for the Batfam and one for the Waynes

[evolutiononthebrain]

Imagine you're living and Gotham, working as a babysitter for some extra cash. You get a call, asking if you could come to Wayne Manor because the kid keeps trying to sneak out of the house, so they need someone to keep an eye on him.

You take the job, you've heard The Wayne's always pay very well, and the youngest boy is like what ten?

You show up at the manor, and the butler answers the door and lets you in. You ask some questions about Damian, assuming that's who you're watching, only to be told he's spending the night with the eldest boy, Dick.

Then who are you babysitting?

The butler, Alfred, takes you into a room, and there is none other than Bruce Fucking Wayne. You're babysitting a grown ass man!

He's bandaged up pretty badly, and Alfred explains that he's supposed to be on bed rest, but won't stay put. You can't help but ask what happened.

"Go on, Master Bruce." Alfred urges, like one would a child.

You are horrified as Bruce Wayne proceeds to tell you the dumbest story you've ever heard in your life.

[evolutiononthebrain]

[evolutiononthebrain]

So, how's your night going?! :D

[evolutiononthebrain]

[evolutiononthebrain]

Can you imagine criminals swearing at Nightwing and he freezes for a second when it’s that insult

Criminal: HEY, DICK!

Nightwing: ohgodhowdotheyknow

[evolutiononthebrain]

CAN ANYONE HELP ME. PRETTY PLEASE.

MY BOSS (*cough cough* Red Hood *Cough Cough*) GOT INTO SOME ✨Special Brownies✨ AT WORK CUZ ONE OF THE OTHER GOONS BROUGHT IN AND IDK WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DOOOOOO.

HE IS HIGH OFF HIS ASS AND UNMASKED AND I AM PANICKING. EVERYONE ELSE DECIDED TO GTFO AND LEAVE ME THERE TO DEAL WITH HIM.

I ASKED FOR ADVICE FROM SOME CONTACTS OF MINE, BUT THEY JUST FUCKING LAUGHED AT ME.

I TRIED ASKING WHAT WAS IN THE BROWNIES AND HOW MUCH, BUT THE GUY WHO BROUGHT THEM IN WONT TELL ME ANYTHING. LIKE, MOTHERFUCKER, THAT IS YOUR B O S S.

Anyways, how’s your day going?

[evolutiononthebrain]

Ok but for real the voices are really funny

[evolutiononthebrain]

Forgotten (or blatantly ignored) list of Wayne Family Rules for proper handling of social media - By Lucius Fox.

Make sure you're wearing clothes in your profile pictures.

Refrain from posting anything at all if you are sleep deprived.

Refrain from posting anything at all if you are drunk.

Ideally, just refrain from posting anything at all.

Make sure you're not posting anything related to vigilantism from your personal account and viceversa.

No inappropriate pictures of other family members.

No inappropriate pictures of other superheroes.

Asking for embarrassing pictures of other family members or fellow superheroes from citizens is not allowed.

No jokes about death.

No tweets about death threats directed to other family members.

No cussing.

Remember, once posted, always posted.

No obvious mockery towards Lex Luthor or other controversial people.

Twitter is not meant for therapy.

Limit the instagram posts of purple-food to less than ten a day.

Limit the instagram posts of cats to less than ten a day.

Limit the instagram posts of coffee mugs to less than ten a day.

No hacking of the accounts of controversial people just for fun

Think twice –no, three times– before posting.

Family issues should stay private.

No more Be Reals from the ER. Family services start to get suspicious.

No more Be Reals from the GPD.

No more Be Reals. Period.

Refrain from mocking Metropolis citizens' intelligence or observational skills.

Further points to be included.