enchantedlife

[enchantedlife]

Mary-Edna Monahan about 1955 or 1956 in the apartment she shared with her sister Bobbie (Roberta) in Utica, NY.

On August 1, 2022 I had lunch with my Aunt Bobbie Murad and her daughter Jacque. It was a chance to catch up and celebrate Bobbie’s 90th birthday which was ten days away on August 11th. We met at the Wigwam, an iconic small restaurant and bar on route 28 in Forestport, NY which is a landmark for anyone driving that road as the tail of a small plane protrudes from the Wigwam’s roof and is highly visible from both directions given the Wigwam’s location on a small curve in the road in a clearing near Woodhull State Forest. 

I was visiting Old Forge to be present for the celebration of Dan Tickner’s life. Bobbie is now living at the Masonic Care Community adjacent to Proctor Park in Utica not far from her daughters Debbie and Jacque. Jacque had recommended we meet at the  the Wigwam as is approximately halfway between Utica and Old Forge and Bobbie loves an opportunity to take a drive. Bobbie’s memory has started to fade but Jacque brought an a photo album that Bobbie started when she was a young girl that held photos from her childhood to her marriage and each image triggered great family stories that afternoon. The photo of my mother (Mary-Edna) is from an apartment she and Bobbie shared as young single women living in Utica and is one I’d never seen before.

Bobbie and Mary-Edna were very close in age with 13 months between their births. They also were the two sisters of the clan who lived closest in distance to each other after they married with Bobbie settling in Utica with her husband Tony Murad and Mary-Edna moving to Old Forge upon marrying Joe Uzdavinis. The strong-willed Monahan clan holds their moral ground and frequently will stand on their convictions and that led to Mary-Edna and Bobbie having a parting of ways after the death of their grandmother in 1967 and ironically the two sisters who lived closest to each other saw each other less than they would see their other siblings. After Mary-Edna’s death Bobbie reached out and worked to reestablish a connection with me and my brothers which was a bit tough given my knowledge of some of the reason for their parting of ways and the fact that I wasn’t living in the area anymore. Years later it became easier to be in touch both due to the passage of time and technological advances. Bobbie’s oldest daughter Susan reached out to me to connect and given the loss of so much of our family, especially our mother’s sisters it’s been lovely to connect and reestablish more regular contact with this part of my family.

I love hearing about the fun that the two sister had while living together and about the love and respect Bobbie had for my Dad, Joe, when he came into my Mom’s life when the two sisters were roommates. Mary-Ed was working at Cunningham Photo a studio owned by Art Cunningham in Utica around the corner from the Utica Observer-Dispatch the newspaper where my Dad worked in the Advertising and Sports Departments.

[enchantedlife]

at 17 in paris

during my early days of high school my mother handed me the choice to make a decision about my future. as things stood, i was raised to understand and appreciate what makes each of us unique but wasn’t ecstatic about how i felt about everything in my life at that young age. some of my parent’s friends were sending their kids to private schools. some of my friends attended private schools. one friend was sent to live another family we were close to. and, even in our family, one of my brothers went to live with an aunt and her family for awhile after their youngest daughter was born so he (the youngest in our family) would have the experience of having someone younger than him day in and day  out. so, at this uncomfortable juncture in my life, my mother talked to me and offered that i could attend private school or i could work to find a way to graduate early and go live in europe for awhile traveling and exploring as my classmates finished off our senior year.

my parents may have discussed some options with the wonderful principal of our school just as they had previously arranged for it to be ok for them to pull us out of school for extended periods so we could travel and explore as a family with the promise that we would keep up with our school work. i’ll never know if mom and dad had a conversation prior to offering up this option to me as i no longer have the option of discussing it with them or the principal. either way, i wouldn’t be surprised if they had, or if they just trusted that based on the other adventures we were allowed to leave school for, they just knew that we’d figure it out should i decide to leave school early.

while others may grow up in small towns, our small town of about 1000 people had a school system that was the beneficiary of the fact that it sat in the midst of the largest township in new york state and the majority of homes were second homes for families that didn’t have children attending school in the district. this created a school district that, when i attended, had the highest per student budget of any school in new york state. so based on the number of children in the k-12 school and the amount of funding received per student, was a situation that was probably better than many private schools. all of this is just to set some context to what happened when i was 17.

at 17 i became the first in my school to leave school early. the small school changed the curriculum structure which enabled me leave school mid-year. so after the term’s finals i was free. i skied, i helped my parents with some of their businesses projects. i skied some more and then i flew to europe to explore and yes, ski some more there.

from the first day i arrived, and everyday throughout the trip, i had wonderful new experiences that included the wonder of hiking though castles from the 7th century in the german countryside to the majesty of the alps to the magnificence of architecture that was centuries older than the country were i was born. it was magnificent.

while i appreciated the wonder of it all and loved the exploration, a lot of those wanderings were tinted by the innocence and naiveté held at 17 and the willingness to go through circumstances i wouldn’t want to repeat at my current age. it was that innocence, naivety and acceptance as well as the fact that my travels weren’t tied to any calendar that i found myself arriving at gare du nord in paris during holy week oblivious to what that meant.

when i arrived the station was buzzing with the arrival of so many from around the world and the departure of so many locals. it was obvious that i should pay attention to where i’d spend the night - something i hadn’t given much thought to until my arrival. queuing up in the line to see what availability there was in local hostels,  i was surprised how well my french classes served me. after learning that there were no rooms in the inns that i could afford, i thought to call a local couple who were friends with family friends. they were delighted to hear from me and invited me to dinner on the next night. so here i was in paris with nowhere to spend the night and unsure what to do. thankfully this was at a time when there were lockers where i could stash my bags (including the ski gear I carried with me). gear stashed, it became apparent i wasn’t the only one with this circumstance and found a group of young women from san diego who were in the same situation. we bonded and banded together and took on the night in paris.

unfortunately i don’t recall their names. i was a year or two or three younger than they were. perhaps as i clear out a closet i’ll uncover my journal of that trip and discover the names of those friendly, lovely, blond young women who i bonded with that evening. we walked and explored looking into windows and explored streets and neighborhoods with wide eyes until we were too tired and too cold to continue. we would then enter a cafe where one of us would order a cup of coffee or tea as we all chatted and warmed our bones then another of us would order. we took our time, maximizing the time we spent in the warm interior and taking a rest from = walking the chilly streets. we would then leave and continue to explore paris by night until we were too tired and cold to continue and then we’d enter another cafe where one of us would have a coffee and we’d talk then another would order a tea.... this is how we carried on through the night. we were a pack. were were protected by being together and our naiveté - and, it was magical. in the morning we returned to gare du nord and went our separate ways. but,i still had the entire day to explore before i would join the friends of my family’s friends for dinner and the night had been draining but i walked on.

raised by devout catholics i knew the significance and the alignment of france’s history with the history of the catholic church. in paris. paramount in that connection is notre dame. the cathedral dedicated to our lady and it’s significance in art, architecture, history and the religion i had been raised in was something i was well aware of at 17. that day as i walked though the incredible city that is paris, i crossed the bridge to ile de la cite and entered that holy, iconic space exhausted from the previous night. there was an internal space within the cathedral where i was stopped and was told that i didn’t want to enter as there would be a 3 hour service -- the implication being that a 17 year-old girl didn’t want to be in a place where mostly church hierarchy would be praying, cloistered in a space in a service that was significant during holy week. somehow i convinced the gatekeeper that i should be allowed in to this inner sanctum. what i found was an place where i was surrounded by nuns, brothers, priests, mothers superior, bishops and likely a cardinal or two. they preyed, they chanted and sang. i sat and kneeled huddling in the clothing i had on me. it provided me a chance to rest, an opportunity to mediate and regroup. at this point in my life i had studied enough art and architecture to truly appreciate the significance of where i sat. and on this day, i truly appreciated the opportunity it gave me to find respite.

this was my introduction to this amazing space that is and was notre dame.. since then i have visited paris so many times and have walked into the amazing cathedral and more frequently walked past or viewed the bell towers and the spire from a bit further afar. 

like so many others my heart broke a bit today for all who have been impacted by this structure and the sadness caused by the fire that has ravaged it’s ancient timbers. it’s not just a center of religious life but is the heart of a city that i, and so many, love

tonight i sit 9 time zones away with rain on the roof as if the skies are crying for the loss suffered by humanity today.

this loss is massive on so many levels and so personal on so many more.

the optimist in me says that the cathedral will be rebuilt and how important that it is to rebuild this 850 year-old space.

personally i so appreciate the sense of history, architecture, art and religion that this amazing space occupies in so many lives.. i love that this is one of the lessons my parents instilled in me so that as a 17 year-old I appreciated this special place then as i have in all the many times since. today, i say thanks as i do everyday to my parents but i also thank all those who created this sacred space, this magnificent cathedral and those who supported it’s continuance and everyone who as been moved by this space that is sacred for more than just that which is tied to religion. 

#NotreDame #LeDesastre #ViveLaCathedral 

[enchantedlife]

fab details of images from larger pieces about the fab women who made a difference in the independence movement in south africa.

[enchantedlife]

cuba: first glimpses of old cars and other first

jose marti airport gave us a number of firsts: our first chance at cuba coffee -- fabulous and inexpensive at .50 CUC (approximately 50 cents), our first glimpse  of some of the vintage cars that are in varying states of repair and customization (i love the dual pointer hood ornaments on the jeep) and our first interaction with cubans in cuba.

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: we have arrived at this land of contrasts

jose marti international airport is smaller than i had expected. security seem relaxed but it is a bit unclear as to what is appropriate and what is not. we are greeted by our guide aldo and are taken to the vip lounge which offers us our first chance at a sip of cuban rum but it’s too early to indulge. the lounge also offers soviet-era bathrooms with plumbing that needs repairs while we are there and when the toilets finally flush they and the air hand dryers fight with each other to see which will be louder than any jet on the tarmac. but what is really meant to impress us is the air conditioning. while it is hot and humid on our arrival, the vip lounge has the thermostat set at meat locker cold. it’s so cold that we can not wait there although we are a bit unsure as to if it is proper protocol to leave while our luggage is collected. it is a bit of a wait before we can pass though customs but the officials provide great visuals as they socialize with each other in their khaki uniforms with the women in short skirts and lacy, black stockings greeting each other and their male counterparts with a multitude of kisses and warm smiles. again we surrender our passports and visas as we pass though flimsy customs booth and emerge to a throng of masses that includes our bus driver holding aloft a sign that reads what this trip will become “international yoga experience”.

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: land ho!

as our flight approaches havana the cuban countryside seems verdant and open and at one point i can see across the island.

[enchantedlife]

cuba: finally aloft

after months of anticipation it feels somewhat anti-climatic and bit ironic to board a new american airlines jet for the 1 hour flight from miami to havana, but perhaps it is just romanticizing the embargo. the reality is that this is likely the way most americans will be embarking soon and quite a bit different than how most americans who have been to cuba since 1961 have made their departure via mexico or canada or elsewhere with the risk of fines and loosing their passport.

usually i sleep comfortably on even the shortest of flights, but i am determined to take it all in on this trip including the flight so shortly after take-off i move to an unoccupied row for a window seat. below i see key west, the last of american soil that i will see for 12 days, and somehow this feels more weighted than normal trips. constantly on the lookout as our quick, easy flight progresses i’m excited when i get my first glimpse of cuba. 

#cuba travel yoga international yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: preparing for departure

while cuba and the u.s. are working on easing travel restrictions, the preparations for our departure has been extensive. committing to the trip in early january. applying for visas months in advance. we have heard that even the best laid plans are subject to change at a moments notice and that is borne out when our flight time is changed just days before departure. thankfully our hotel reservation hasn’t been cancelled but we hear that nothing is secure until we are checked into the hotel. our group is doing all that we can to ensure that we make the flight and stay open to any changes that come our way throughout this trip. we come armed with gifts of bandages, aspirin, cosmetics, soap and costume jewelry. we won’t have cell service, have heard that internet access can be tough and as americans we can not use our credit or debit cards. i took advantage of the evening in miami to get to a bank to stock up on more cash for the trip and visit a dollar store for more gifts. the man who drove me back to the airport is from cuba and he excitedly tells me how wonderful my trip will be and while i always have joyful anticipation before i trip my excitement is greater for this trip than any other in recent memory.

at this point in time there are charter flights to cuba from a few u.s. cities and we’ve been told that the check-in for our flight from miami can be chaotic and crowded and we need to be at the counter early. very early. 4 am for a 7 am flight. so we gather at 3:45 am in the hotel lobby and walk less than 100 feet to the counter where another group is waiting ahead of us even though check-in won’t open for more than an hour. we are sleepy. there will be 27 of us on the first seven days in havana and 12 for the additional days in vineales. one in our group was re-routed but made in a few hours ago though her luggage didn’t make it. her adventure is starting off much differently than expected but she has a few things from a shopping trip to an all-night walmart and will supplement her wardrobe and supplies with the help of the rest of us. another from our group is flying directly to cuba from europe but almost all of us are here and we sleepily wait to check-in. the majority of our group is from the san francisco bay area. there were a few opportunities for to meet up before the trip but as i have been in los angeles lately the only person i know is michelle whose company organized the trip and encouraged me to make this commitment. so here we are excited and exhausted getting to know each other in the pre-dawn florescent glow of the miami airport where the only option for provisions is a subway that is open 24 hours. 

when the counter finally opens we must check-in through a very organized process that brings some stress as we have to surrender our passports, visas and extensive travel papers throughout the multi-person system run by cuban travel officials. thankfully we get though the process with ease and as security has no line we have almost two hours to wait at the gate. needing coffee but not finding any nearby options, a working a news stand near our gate is a friendly man who is from cuba who tells us to wait until we get to havana to have some real coffee but for many of us we need something more immediate. the only option at this hour is a lone starbucks that is several concourses away but the walk and the coffee are both needed. returning to our gate, the wait goes on but the images of havana on the gate signage add to the excited anticipation that keeps us awake.

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: family history

coincidentally as i prep for my trip to cuba i’m doing a project for ancestry.com and has given me access to research my family history. while growing up i remember cuba being part of some family conversations but that was not unique given the state of u.s./cuban relations and the frequent discussions about history and politics in our home. cuba was also a place of mystery given that we couldn’t travel there and i’ve always been one to try and push boundaries, trying and find a way around them or at least get a glimpse into the places we were told not to go. my memories as to specific family trips to cuba are a bit hazy. certainly i remember discussions around the fact that the wallenda family had traveled there numerous times performing in the 50s and perhaps 40s. as my mother had lived in panama prior to the cuban embargo i expect that she may have had a visit or two to cuba. easy access to the multitudes of records accessible on ancestry showed numerous trips for various wallenda family members but the big surprise came when i found a new record under my father’s name. a pan american airlines manifest showed a passenger list from december 22, 1955 with my father and his friend teddy nalwak at the top. this would have been 11 days after my dad’s 28th birthday and 3 days before christmas. his father had died earlier that year and in a few months he would open the theme park he dreamed up and built with friends. my parents were dating and it was a time of great change in both of their lives. as both my parents and teddy passed quite some time ago, i reached out to teddy’s family to see if they recall this trip and learn that my dad would frequently go to cuba to party, gamble and escape the long northern new york cold season. while many americans see present day cuba as a type of time capsule with american cars from the 50s, i know that there is more given soviet influence, interactions with other countries and the hard times there after the collapse of the soviet union. while i’ve been looking forward to the experiences there, now i feel that so much more as i wonder what i will see that was what my family saw there before. 

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: in my dreams

saturday morning brought the dazed, blurry sense of not knowing exactly where i was and in the haze each second felt like another decision as to which of two realities i was to step into. this happens to me somedays after a sleep borne with incredibly visceral dreams. dreams that allow me to spend time with those who have passed or, like on this morning, a chance to be in a different place. on this day that place was havana. with increased focus that came as i awoke so too came recognition as to why i spent time overnight in cuba. the past week had the obama family and the rolling stones both on historical first trips there which added to the already abundant stories on cuba as the u.s. opens up diplomatic relations with the country and works on relaxing travel restrictions after fifty-five years. and, in two months i’ll be making a trip to a place where i’ve wanted to go for more than a decade. cuba.

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: fears or just general discomfort?

part of what i consider the good fortune of my enchanted life is the love of travel that my parents instilled in me. that love combined with my family’s support of my unwavering curiosity have served me well from my travels with family as a child, to the frequent travel for my work, and throughout short and long trips to satisfy my own yearnings. i love to see something new, to explore anything, be it on a walk from my home or in a place that it has taken me 36 hours in planes and airports to reach. happy traveling with friends or alone i generally am a fearless traveler. but, committing to a trip to cuba tapped into a couple of areas that are outside my comfort zone. firstly, unless i’m traveling for work, i usually don’t have much of a set itinerary and this trip has me traveling not just with an itinerary but one created by someone else (yikes!). secondly, i am a bit of a commitment-phobe and this trip required me to plan and commit months in advance. and again, other than for work, i don’t travel as part of a group and haven’t done so since my 8th grade class trip to washington, dc. for this adventure i’ll be part of a group like-minded folks who i don’t know. yet for this trip i have to face my fears and dive into this adventure with a group that has set destinations and schedules, and the group is comprised of people who (with one exception) i don’t know. i’m up for the adventures that this discomfort will bring as we’ll be embarking on a trip to savor the art, music and culture of cuba while practicing yoga with both an american and a cuban teacher. and, i’m truly looking forward to experiencing the yin and yang and balance that having yoga as a focus will bring to this trip to this nation on a tipping point between communist rule and opening to more commerce america and her allies. while people from other parts of the world have had greater ease in visiting cuba, i feel fortunate to be traveling there before commercial flights and ferry service from the u.s. start up and the change that will bring. as i prepare for this journey i’ll also start to capture the feelings and learnings i’m experiencing just as i’ll capture with words, photos and video the adventures we find in cuba. most importantly i realize that my fears and discomfort are displaced by excitement about this trip to cuba.

#travel #adventure #cuba #yoga #internatinoal yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: day 1 colors pt. 8

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: day 1, our group

our international yoga group fully arrived in havana taking in each moment of our first day in havana. 

yoga isn’t just about the asana practice but about how you live, how you connect and how are truly present in each moment. this group embodies that concept. we enjoyed the warmth of the day, the beauty of the sites, enjoyed the people and took in so much in the long day that it left us exhausted but happy.

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: day 1 colors pt. 7

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

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cuba: day 1 colors pt. 6

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

[enchantedlife]

cuba: day 1 colors pt. 5

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga

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cuba: day 1 colors pt. 4

#cuba #travel #yoga #international yoga