I’m not allowed back in church after god caught me hotboxing the confessional booth ✊✊💨 I told him “god, if you don’t want me smoking weed, then why the hell did you make this shit so dank???”👀👀 god paused for a sec, looked me dead in the eye, and said “my son, im not mad at you for blazing it…I’m mad at you for not passing that shit!!”🙏🙏🙏🙏🙌🙌🙌🙌 lololol 🍁🍁 send 2 420 ppl or U will never smoke kush again !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Weeping with unrestrained joy at the aquarium because I saw a fish
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"aw i love your earrings, they're so cute!" i say, making the barista's day. i sit down with my coffee and send a respected mutual an anon ask reading "you look like you've got that homestuck kinnie pussy." thus i have maintained the balance of suffering in the world for another day. as i wander down the beach of life, my footsteps do not even disturb its grains
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why is pride always in summer. what about the dykes that can't tolerate the heat huh. what about us. I mean them.
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she was a bad bitch why lie
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The most embarrassing thing In my life is whenever I see people and they ask what I’ve been up to . Literally nothing ever . Im like ohh you know this and that …. The usual ..
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the fact that we need 8 hours of sleep is ridiculous we should only need 4 and the other 4 should be used to be cozy in your bed and rub your legs together like a cricket and listen to music and think about your little scenarios
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whenenver i save a bug in trouble its kind of like im their mr beast
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I'm like if a girl who didn't do much was still experiencing burnout
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never gonna argue with an butch lesbian. whatever u say handsome. wanna make out
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i love you air dried hair i love you no makeup i love you comfortable clothes made out of soft fabrics i love you short nails
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me repeating my daily affirmations in the mirror
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