elliediringer

[elliediringer]

I need this on a shirt. im serious

I work in retail and I long for the day I don’t have a blackout card before lunch.

Either wear it properly or stay home. -.-

[elliediringer]

[elliediringer]

Jason Isaacs lockdown life summed up

(from jason isaacs youtube)

[elliediringer]

“Jeff Wysaski, an artist based in Los Angeles, printed out some fake Halloween costumes and hung them up around a real costume store.”

[elliediringer]

Trying to communicate with my future morning self is like setting an elaborate trap for an unsuspecting zombie like

if I put my phone alarm on full volume and vibrate and move the charger so I can put it on this out-of-reach metal surface, I can startle her awake. Probably. Then if I securely duct tape this caffeinated chocolate bar to it, it will provide a challenging situation and make her mushy little brain work extra hard to figure out how to turn the alarm off. Then she might go for the chocolate while she’s turning off the loud noises. With luck, she’ll consume the whole thing. 20 minutes of bliss then boom, physiology kicks in and the caffeine reaches her brain. Gentlemen, this just might work.

[elliediringer]

In case anyone is curious, you can put 27 toddler socks on a lazy cat and she won’t move.

[elliediringer]

I’ve just discovered my new favorite painter, Vittorio Reggianini - those smarter than myself probably already know of him as an Italian painter from the 1800s who made satin look even satiny-er than satin. I just cannot get over how much he loved painting women who were NOT. HAVING. A. MAN’S. SHIT. 

But there was one hottie that everyone seemed to like, and I can’t blame them…

Vittorio knows what the ladies like. 

[elliediringer]

Remember, you can disappear into the woods whenever you want. You’re an adult.

[elliediringer]

this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry

[elliediringer]

Like seriously I wish we had a more comprehensive sex education program in the U.S. You know how many guys I know who had no idea an unaroused vagina is only 2-3 inches deep? Or that the cervix raises up when aroused to accommodate dick? Or that if a girl is “tight” that generally means she’s not turned on and you’re shitty in bed? Or that the cervix has an entire cycle it goes through throughout the month where is changes hardness, placement in the vagina, wetness? Like, when you’re ovulating your cervix gets soft and raises high up into the vagina and your hormones get you really horny. It’s like natures way of moving the furniture around and fluffing the pillow for dick because it wants to get pregnant. And before menstruation, it gets really hard and low in the vagina. It’s basically inactivating it’s Facebook and saying “I just need some alone time for a few days”

Ladies and gentlemen, take a moment to learn about vaginas. Men, take an interest into your woman’s menstrual cycle!

[elliediringer]

tattoos -

[elliediringer]

[Meme photo of student looking at butterfly, image has been doubled so there are two students looking at the butterfly.  Butterfly is labeled “Bisexuality.”

First student, labeled “Straight People” - “Is this GAY?”

Second student labeled “Gay People” - “Is this STRAIGHT?”

Source

BI AND PAN PRIDE AND VISIBILITY, NOT ERASURE!

More posts on bi/pan pride and visibility

[elliediringer]

I absolutely loved finding this gem! Art as feminist protest! TURN IT UP!!!

[elliediringer]

YOU WROTE THE RULES. READ THEM. 

[elliediringer]

Some positivity to start of the morning☺️ you are all so, so beautiful

[elliediringer]

Coercion is not consent!

[elliediringer]

Stop! THIEF!