egojock

[egojock]

characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that

#▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀psyche. #/ your honor i dont feel good about that choice either but he did do that . #not enabling not judgement but a secret third thing

[egojock]

if there's one thing nate can offer joe in this moment, it's not reacting with any weighty judgement or tutting over his wounds like some meddlesome mother-hen. but he supposes that's insidious too, how normalized and acceptable abuse can become. to other people, the amount of control cal jacobs had over his son's life might be an immediate red flag, but in cal's eyes and sometimes nate's, he was only looking out for him. being harsh at home so when the real world had an opportunity to deal a blow to nate, he could walk it off and still get back up. "i didn't mention that i had a set curfew, did i?" nate stares for a beat, wondering what exactly joe had been able to gleam from the breadcrumbs of information he'd given him. he'd said very little, but gave just enough away for joe to recognize a likeness in him. a beat. "not til six," nate replies, his gaze sweeping over joe's features. he thinks about what cal's said about all the people he's let into his life, and he can't help but think he'd regard joe as a distraction too. amongst worse, less kind things. "closest drugstore's a few blocks away. fuck you, don't bring that downton abbey shit here. america's the greatest country in the world. you should assimilate better," he tells him with a wry little smirk, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets before taking a few steps back as if he intends to lead the way there. nate wouldn't trust joe to follow verbal directions out of a wet paper sack, much less to a drugstore. taking him there himself is only the kind thing to do. "or is that, i dunno, not pc to say? point is, understanding you is hard enough without all the british shit factored in."

"yeah. s' been worse though," joe murmurs, braving face for reasons they both know are probably stupid; reputation, masculinity, power, stubborn independence. things are bad for nate and they are bad for joe and neither of them spend a lot of time sharing the ways in which they hurt. maybe it's because saying shit out loud means acknowledgement, or maybe it's because if nothing changes when the truth surfaces, being certain of the inevitability is just another layer of harm. they can delude themselves here, spout nonsense about having an out. (grow up. move away. get a job. buy a house. find someone who doesn't mind handing over closet space for all the goddamn skeletons.) joe sucks in a breath. the realm of vulnerability is prickly — and although he's wary of feeding nate a mirroring exposure, he's understanding enough to avoid teasing. there's nothing very funny about it anyway. home. there's a thought. "when d' ya have to be back?" his head tips to the side, gaze hovering on the stern look on nate's face. " — where's the closest chemist? the uh. drug store? i 'oughta grab somethin' for 'em bruises 'nyway. n' i ran 'ere, so i don't even know where the fuck i am."

#carminekings #▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀reply. #▸⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄/𝐉𝐎𝐄.⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀i will show no mercy for you. you had no mercy for me. #/ mans is incredibly confused incredibly in denial etc etc

[egojock]

nate's brows knit together, glowering at first until a wry smile tugs at his lips. "i think you're projecting, but sure," nate agrees coolly, an unexpected reaction considering nate could be a real hothead at times. a hit dog will holler. he was equal parts impulsive and equal parts calculated -- unpredictable. farleigh was much the same. he was a mouthy brunette, which was pretty much nate's type to a tee, if not for the pesky detail of his biology. what a waste. but his curiosity wasn't abating, gaze flitting to farleigh's shapely mouth when the cherry of his cigarette lights up and then away. plausible deniability. "and what would that be? everyone has a vice. curious to know yours. aside from these, obviously," nate gestures with the cigarette wedged between his fingers, catching the lighter tossed his way. nate lifts his brows suggestively with a smarmy grin tugging at his lips. "i'm sure you do," nate replies, innocuously enough, though he really can't imagine what blowing off steam might look like for farleigh. nate raises his eyebrows when farleigh says he's not wasteful, giving him a considering look. then his gaze flits away, once again clinging to that flimsy concept of pretense. "i get tested for performance enhancing drugs on a semi-regular basis, so yeah. semi-regular because i never know it's coming." he's not unsure why he's sharing this even though it was common knowledge. to illustrate the point that no matter what, nate's choices would always be scrutinized, maybe. a pre-cursor to a larger conversation. "y'know, you talk like you're in game of thrones or somethin'. like there's some double meaning to everything you say. about to stab a motherfucker with information you've acquired at an inopportune time," he drawls, a grin dimpling his cheeks. whether he wants to or not, nate finds himself subconsciously mirroring it.

the comment draws a smile to farleigh's lips, reading the lines between every word offered with a knowing understanding of. ❛❛ what you really mean is you spending time with your hand, right? ❜❜ he teases, lips pressing together as he does little to hold back his own amusement at the other's expense. it was obvious to anyone with eyes that nate jacobs could pull whoever he wanted, he just had that je ne sais quoi about him. but that didn't mean farleigh wasn't going to push buttons, especially when the other made it so easy to do so.

❛❛ mmm, yeah ... how could anyone forget the avocado toast? ❜❜ the words are dry, sarcasm laced in every syllable. and he doesn't hold back the smirk that follows, returning his pack of cigarettes to the back pocket of his corduroy pants before shifting his weight from one foot to the other. they'd slipped away together, seeking out privacy under the guise of a smoke break. and they did well on following through with that, a hand extending to take the lighter from nate, using it to ignite the end of his own cigarette, drawing a long inhale from before he tosses the lighter back in the other's direction.

❛❛ oh, you know, i just blow off steam in the regular teenage boy kind of ways ... ❜❜ oxford seemed like it was lightyears away at this point, the plane ride over almost serving as a vortex to, one that wiped the slate clean and allowed him to assume two completely different identities at the exact same time. ❛❛ and ruin all of this? come on, nate, you know i'm not wasteful like that. ❜❜ a laugh is exhaled into the night air before he pauses, biting the corner of his lips for a moment. ❛❛ it's not as boring as you might think. we have parties almost every weekend, and when we don't, it's not like i have to keep my nose clean like you do. ❜❜

#signetied #▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀reply. #nate x farleigh #/ sorry this is a lil late heh

[egojock]

#▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀psyche.

[egojock]

#▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀psyche.

[egojock]

smut prompt list no. 2

1) overwhelmed, but happy crying during sex 

2) crying crying during sex that leads to a pause or early end to comfort and take care of whatever emotions bubbled over 

3) depression sex in order to feel something good for once

4) messy drunk sex that is then forgotten the morning after

5) filming it, either for private purposes or because they’re amateur pornstars

6) mutual masturbation

7) spying on/walking in on their partner touching themself 

8) sex in exchange for a favour

9) car sex

10) quiet airplane bathroom sex

11) touching the other while at the movies

12) sex while there is the background noise of a rainstorm outside

13) being snowed in together and fucking in front of the fireplace 

14) pool/hot tub sex

15) stargazing that turns into sex

16) the classic “oh, let me help you put some sunscreen on” but then the little massage turns into something more

17) sex while camping

18) fucking in the bar bathroom and being too drunk to care about being quiet 

19) when the teasing in the dressing room gets a little too hot

20) shower/bath sex

#▸⠀ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀your whole fuckin life's a mystery. #nsfw. #/ oh these are Fun

[egojock]

🐝  *  ―  𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  why did you have to leave me?  ❜ ❛  how could you do this to me?  ❜ ❛  i trusted you!  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, but i can't do this anymore.  ❜ ❛  do you even care how much you hurt me?  ❜ ❛  i'll never stop fighting for us, no matter what.  ❜ ❛  i don't know if i can forgive you.  ❜ ❛  i never thought i'd feel so alone, even when you're right here.  ❜ ❛  please don't go, i can't handle losing you too.  ❜ ❛  you were the one person i thought i could always count on. why did you have to let me down?  ❜ ❛  did you ever even care about us? about me?  ❜ ❛  i wish i could hate you for what you've done, but i can't.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to play games with my feelings?  ❜ ❛  i never thought saying goodbye would hurt this much.  ❜ ❛  every time i close my eyes, all i see is the pain you've caused.  ❜ ❛  why do you insist on tearing us apart when we could be so happy together?  ❜ ❛  i'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's clearly not.  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who you are anymore.  ❜ ❛  i need you to understand how much you mean to me.  ❜ ❛  i'm scared of losing you, but i'm even more scared of losing myself.  ❜ ❛  why won't you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were my world, and now everything is falling apart.  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to trust anyone after what you've done?  ❜ ❛  i can't go through this heartache again.  ❜ ❛  why did you leave without saying goodbye?  ❜ ❛  how could you say something like that to me?  ❜ ❛  you've always had a way of making me feel worthless.  ❜ ❛  don't you dare walk away from me when i'm talking to you.  ❜ ❛  please, just tell me the truth, even if it hurts. i can handle it.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to fix what's broken between us anymore.  ❜ ❛  you're not the person i fell in love with anymore.  ❜ ❛  just hold me and tell me everything will be okay, even if it's a lie.  ❜ ❛  i trusted you, and you betrayed me.  ❜ ❛  i never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention.  ❜ ❛  i've given you everything, and it's still not enough.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to make everything about you?  ❜ ❛  why did you do it? why did you betray me like that?  ❜ ❛  i miss you ... more than words can say.  ❜ ❛  you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'm scared of losing you.  ❜ ❛  i'll always be here for you, no matter what. just please don't shut me out.  ❜

#▸⠀ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀your whole fuckin life's a mystery.

[egojock]

he resists the urge to nod just barely. if anyone knew what he was doing, with a street kid from the wrong side of the tracks no less, nate would be up shit's creek without a paddle. the worst part of it was that joe had no idea what a threat to his existence he was, how undoing of an influence. in the moments he's not terrified, nate's revelling in it. nate knows exactly what mold he's supposed to fit into, he's supposed to be the type of man that doesn't anger or put his fist through the drywall or bet the house on horses or do things that'd make his mother cry. nate's felt the sting of handcuffs biting into his wrists and the illuminating glare of police station lights but he feels more guilty and vulnerable here with joe's weight pressing him down into the car-seat. his hands grapple at the muscles of joe's back, a palm then traversing down his bicep and flexing around it to hold him steady as he rocks his hips up. "ah, yeah," he moans, throbbing and desperate underneath joe, denim-clad cock grinding against an answering heat. then joe puts his thumb into cavern of nate's mouth, pressing down on the wet muscle and his lids flutter as he resumes suckling. nate wants joe to be fucking mean to him. he craves the heated bite, wants joe's teeth and tongue marring his skin along with his clipped fingernails. he wraps a hand around joe's wrist to nudge his thumb out, looking down at him with the darkest eyes. "wanna be good," he affirms, an almost shy and sweet expression on nate's face as his face flushes. "that, uh, shit you do.. the poppers, whippets.. have you ever .. y'know?" fuck, this was embarrassing. nate didn't even know how to ask. his throat bobs as he swallows down nerves. "bottomed on them? i'm just. i dunno. curious," he murmurs, averting his gaze for a moment before looking back down at joe with a hungering stare. nate's terrified of the weight of his wanting. he shakes his head and bites his lip shyly before surging forward to kiss joe, mouthing at his jaw like he wants to eat him whole.

"'cept y' like it when m' boutta clobber yer 'ead in." joe counters, face scrunching up with a daring. they quarrel and rebel and grin, remain two sides of the same goddamn coin. and maybe there's something to be argued about nostalgia and familiarity when they butt heads, bristle, challenge each other, bite — something necessary about the hurt being present. but the ache is unnervingly exclusive. the bruising joe experiences from nameless figures and their assumed criminality, is just an aspect of the hustle, a slice of bitter life. the joy comes belated, arrives only with successful picks and the press of ice cubes against purpling skin. but nate gives and takes and demands the pain and joe likes it as it happens — burns hotter because of it, redder and thirstier because of it. he finds himself dividing his preferences and interests more and more with nate's newfound presence, learning and relearning willingness and wanting and weathering. he is often weathering, often gritting his teeth and clenching his fists, assuming then that the bulk of his prior experiences mean disinterest and resentment. he should dislike accusation and smugness, he'd made the irritation evident years prior with margaret's shitty ex-husband — but still, he smirks when nate meets his bark with something of similar tone. nearly beams when nate chides him, huffs over their combative reactions.

joe doesn't even think himself particularly cocky (not in the way sully is) but he's grown to assume the sentiment mutual. it helps that nate's body leaps to attention, burrows comically quick against the heat of his ass as soon as their kisses bubble, boil into a forest fire. he too, wants everything ablaze.

"y' like it when m' mean to ya, don'tcha? — yer sweet like that — good at takin' blows, good at behavin'?" he feeds his thumb back into nate's mouth then, rests it against the pad of his tongue and presses down. with the prying weight, joe pairs this with a taunting roll of his hips. he plays it like something accidental, readjustment for lopsided balance, but the movement keeps him seated upon nate's lap — his blooming interest now trapped underneath. joe tilts his head then, blown eyes and a pleasant high marking his expression into one of potent arousal. "y' wanna be good again huh?"

#carminekings #▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀reply. #nsfw. #/ drug use cw #▸⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄/𝐉𝐎𝐄.⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀i will show no mercy for you. you had no mercy for me. #/ ALL good babe

[egojock]

@depictedblue

EUPHORIA Season 2, Episode 1: Trying to Get to Heaven Before They Close the Door

#▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀visage. #▸⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄/𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐄.⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀i know he's crazy but he's the one i want. #/ the way hes tryna devour her . good stuff

[egojock]

Nate Jacobs and Cassie Howard in Euphoria 2.03

#▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀visage. #▸⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄/𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐄.⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀i know he's crazy but he's the one i want. #nsfw. #cw choking #▸⠀ 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐔𝐄⠀ ⠀ [ … ] the fuck are you looking at?

[egojock]

nate clicks his tongue playfully at her, rolling his eyes with an unwarranted fondness. "don't play coy with me. i like it so much better when you're omnipotent and scary," he taunts, an arched brow raising along with the curve of his lips. nate's always skeptical of people and their intentions because of how his own calculating brain works but when she says she doesn't scare easily, nate believes her. he wants to be optimistic about this because winnie knows who and exactly what she's getting into bed with and that trust was hard won. he's titillated, unable to discern if winnie wants to rehabilitate him like some wounded dove or if she wants to clip his wings and crush him in the palm of her hands like a fragile butterfly. it matters little to him anyway, nate jacobs has never been known for self-preservation. "you have my permission. dunno if the vampire logic applies to witches, but for what's it worth," nate confirms, letting out a breathless laugh against her lips as an audacious hand moves to the pinch of her waist, his fingers itching to touch and mark. he wants to make her feel powerful and desired, like she's on top of the fucking world. the fact that she didn't need him for that made the sentiment stronger. her admission has him exhaling shakily against her lips, watching her through hooded eyes as one hand threads into her hair and the other slips into the backpocket of her jeans to fondle her ass. "yeah? i wanna know what you taste like too." it sounded like something you'd lie about to guarantee a hook-up but nate actually enjoyed giving head, he liked having thighs straddling the side of his face and guiding fingers in his hair. that was about the tamest thing he liked because his perception of what sex was and should be like was incredibly warped. nate's been poisoned already, so what did it matter if he drank her down to the last drop, licked and sucked her down to the marrow of her bones? he reluctantly separates himself from her and casts a furtive glance around before threading his fingers with hers to lead her towards his pick-up truck, opening the car door with a suggestive lift of his brow. "i don't think this is what you meant by forbidden places, but i gotta know. are you shy, winnie?" nate was shameless, his desire urgent and unwavering as he challenges her. they'd given each other explicit consent, but establishing boundaries was also important. the way he was tenting in his jeans already was pathetic, but he'd been abstaining and doing nothing but pining over her. "tell me what you like. i don't have the same power you do, but i would deny you and fault you for nothing." he wants to see her on her knees, desperate and needy, at her most vulnerable.

if she were to tell him about all of the things she'd witnessed over the centuries, he'd quickly realise that he had nothing to be concerned about. nevertheless, the witch is charmed by his admission. he cares about what she thinks, or at least, she suspects that he's beginning to. "lucky for you, i don't scare easily." whatever situation awaited her at nate's home, she was more than prepared to face it. what she isn't prepared for, is the feeling that consumes her when they kiss. her tongue is tantalising, massaging his in greeting, dabbling in the desire that lurks beneath the surface of their union. he tastes like a dark fantasy, more delicious the deeper he delves and she welcomes every morsel of his saliva. her gentle grip on his cheek keeps him close, breaking apart only to catch their breath. she wants to tell him that this could be dangerous, but alas, isn't that what makes it fun?

"tonight?" winnie teases, fingertips brushing lightly across his jaw, the heat from his skin warming her cooler flesh. "to do what?" she proceeds to smirk, knowing all too well. there's no denying the pull that exists, a connection that compliments the way their narrative is playing out. their paths were never supposed to cross and yet, she finds herself increasingly glad that such a tortured soul found her when he did. she wants to feed from him without having to harm him. if he let her, she'd devour all of the pain that was buried in the darkest corners of his soul. drown out his insecurity until he's blissed out beneath her. "what if i wanted to taste you in forbidden places?" the words are spoken quietly, her own arousal set ablaze at the thought. "would you give me permission?" another kiss has her inhaling the air dispelled from his lungs, her tongue trailing tenderly across his lower lip. "i'd grant you access to any part of me you desire...."

#awalkoflife #▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀reply. #▸⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄/𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄.⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀fresh out the slammer ; i know who my first call will be to. #nsfw. #/ very glad because he is not a bland chicken breast guy #/ well. maybe for the protein but. the point stands #seasoned !!!

[egojock]

@carminekings: ✐ for one muse to do something hard/morally grey so the other doesn’t have to. ( martin & nate / that one plot thread about them offing cal and martin doing the queasy work of wrapping up cal's body to dump into a car trunk or smth . . . )

somewhere along the way, things have become very real. this had been easy enough to entertain in theory, a solution to the existential dread that's been wreaking havoc in nate's life, but with the two of them struggling to carry his father's body down the lawn amidst the blood drying underneath his fingers he'd realized now that he really had no choice but to commit. it was a visceral and funny feeling but he thinks it's more consideration than cal had offered nate in the last decade of his life. he doesn't mean to sound ungrateful, but god forbid some resentment started brewing when his dad started fucking his friends. the tale of bluebeard's wives. he still remembers the way he'd felt when he scored his first touchdown and his father had patted his head with such pride and adoration. it was a touch he yearned for and consequentially started fearing. nate knows he's a fucking cliché, but there was truth in clichés and he'd started living for those head-pats. it was acceptance and absolution for his flawed existence from his creator. nate's body is betraying his mind, an unavoidable feeling of doom beginning set in and he starts trembling like he's been splashed with ice cold water once they manage to get the car trunk closed. it's not an easy transition. they smack his head against it and the thudding sound is enough to make him wince even though nate knows he can't feel it. spilled milk. he wrenches away and glances at martin, the expression on his face very much like a prey animal that just wandered into an open clearing. caught out and vulnerable. "fuck. why would you do this for me?" it sounds like it's been punched out of him, a strong forearm forced down his esophagus to bring out all the emotion he's been taught to repress. rhetorical. nate knows why, or he suspects he does, but he needs to hear martin say it. they were both calculating and wired similarly but martin saw everything through a more black and white lens than nate did. he didn't know if this was just pieces on a chess board for him or something more. martin's been through this already. maybe it was just empathy and pity behind the wheel. his body wracks with sobs, an incredibly delayed reaction, but when the metaphorical blow connects it sends ripples everywhere. a desperate blood-stained hand paws at martin's bicep before dropping back to his side and shuddering, his head dropping forward to rest on martin's shoulder. "i think if i go on feeling this lonely, i'm gonna fucking die."

#carminekings #▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀reply. #/ i Apologize . for the length #parent death cw #grief cw

[egojock]

things we lost in the fire.

dialogue prompts from things we lost in the fire: stories by mariana enríquez.

my family thinks i'm crazy.

if you know the neighborhood, it's not dangerous. or it's less dangerous.

it's a question of not being afraid.

i wasn't a sweet or innocent child.

there's no such thing as witches.

you shouldn't believe everything you hear.

what do you know about what goes on around here?

you live here, but you're from a different world.

you've always been a little freak.

please don't smoke in the car.

in my family, no one prays.

i saw it in a movie.

tomorrow, you're telling me everything.

our parents will never even know.

i just wanted to piss you off.

i hated innocent people.

i don't know why i keep calling it an accident.

the truth is, i don't know which stories were made up.

you're getting morbid.

those movies are a bad influence on you.

the house tells me the stories. you don't hear it?

you've never been afraid of anything.

you seem like some sort of metaphor.

is it a story you like to tell?

i guess we'll never know, huh?

everyone smokes here.

i don't want you to read cards for me.

you citified little prick.

i almost always believe you.

i don't know if it already happened, or if it's going to happen.

that's your family?

i don't love you anymore.

you've got on your 'tough guy' face.

death is the only problem without a solution.

i don't even feel like crying anymore.

i see everything, but can't do anything.

i hate when people call them 'lightning bugs'.

i'm sorry. sometimes i'm impossible.

things take longer to disappear out here.

you listen, but you never answer.

we all saw it, but we tried to ignore it.

don't you see him?

dentists are steeped in bad taste and sadism.

i couldn't just leave you there.

i've never thrown a party in my life.

i detest birthdays.

i want to be alone.

let whatever has to happen happen.

i'm not dreaming. you don't feel pain in dreams.

i don't want to be beautiful. i want to be strong and razor-sharp.

you shouldn't have come.

in his house, the dead man waits dreaming.

i've tried, but there's no getting out. you're not going to get out, either.

don't play dumb. you were never stupid.

i believe sleep and death are the same thing.

the problem is, what god are we talking about?

sad people are merciless.

how do you know it's me?

how can someone live like that?

no one can watch you 24 hours a day.

everyone has a price.

#▸⠀ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀your whole fuckin life's a mystery.

[egojock]

Naomi Shihab Nye, “The Rider.” Fuel

#▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀psyche.

[egojock]

@redemptioninterlude

nate's body ran like a well oiled machine in comparison to rue's, to the point where it felt like he needed to handicap and level the playing field for this to be a fair fight in both wits and physicality. despite the consistent abuse of brain-altering chemicals, she remained as sharp as a tack and sometimes nate entertains the thought of what she could be if she'd stop harming herself incessantly. what she could be if she wasn't all the things she was. nate imagines his family has had the same ruminations about him often enough. the wasted potential is the easiest bruise to press on, and conversely, the idea of nate peaking in highschool is also a predictable one-two step. they match each other beat for beat. he's half-tempted to give her the predictable 'we're not so different, you and i' antagonist speech but this was already beginning to feel played out. despite her stupid decisions, rue was smart. he didn't have to lay it on too thick.

"you sayin' that because you really believe it or because it painted you quite sympathetically? maybe your judgement's all askew, like usual. anybody who sat through that can come away with several conclusions," he tells her, raising a menacing brow. nate had left before cassie's meltdown, but past experiences paint the picture of what happened pretty well. he can't discern whether this is an attempt to console him or rile him up further. he's fucking rattled, riled regardless. "one, lexi's a passive bystander with an inferiority complex the size of texas so she took it out on her sister, and two, she's probably fucking in love with you. with that in mind maybe i wouldn't be so quick to write it off," he warns, eyes roaming over her face to see if it's a blow that connects. nate knows the words will fall on deaf ears, because whatever love is there rue takes for granted, desperate and greedy but dismissive.

rue would only chew her up and spit her out anyway, because love was a destructive force and it's only through this nate can acknowledge he was a loved person. rue was too, despite all the fucking damage and grief that accompanied her. he knows the idea of highschool being a small fraction of a person's life consoles rue, and he supposes it'd have to for her to keep going through life the way she does. the fact that rue's pretending like she wouldn't immediately go home to snort a substance to cope after sitting through that is amusing to him. he puts a fist through drywall and he's the mal-adjusted one? yeah, right.

#redemptioninterlude #▸ ⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐒 ⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀reply. #/ this is essentially their version/exchange of cassie & maddy's 'UR THE CUNT . no ur the cunt' #a joy to write and i am Sorry for the length .

[egojock]

MARY OLIVER

#▸⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄/𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑.⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀knee-deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out. is it casual now? #▸⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄/𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄.⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀fresh out the slammer ; i know who my first call will be to. #▸⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄/𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐄.⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀i know he's crazy but he's the one i want. #▸⠀ 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐔𝐄⠀ ⠀ [ … ] the fuck are you looking at?

[egojock]

There is a sort of constant battle between the two of them to the degree that they are fighting, but they are taking care of one another. When the sugar goes on the cheek of Patrick, Art takes it off with his hand in a very nice gesture of kindness -- and very intimate, I would say. But at the same time, they are really tense. And I think it’s about being jealous of one another, but at the same time wanting one another.

Challengers (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino

#▸⠀ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄/𝐉𝐎𝐄.⠀ ⠀ [ … ] ⠀i will show no mercy for you. you had no mercy for me. #▸⠀ 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐔𝐄⠀ ⠀ [ … ] the fuck are you looking at?