editorialsonlife

[editorialsonlife]

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

[editorialsonlife]

HOW IS IT APRIL ALREADY

who wants a chaotic life update coz here we go

We just submitted an offer on a house in palmy, eeeeeeeek. So moving to a whole other city an hour and a half away from where we currently live. Likely to be accepted and have been working through all the admin for mortgage approvals and selling our current home and buying new up there. We’ll be going from a 90m2 house to a 200m2 house on a larger section - it’s going to be hilarious to live somewhere so massive.

Antidepressants are the best things in the world I should have done them years ago.

Work is a wild shitshow, thanks to a prime minister who can’t accept that running a country and a company are two fundamentally different things. Consequently, work is currently calling for voluntary redundancies and then will kick off a change process in May. Will I have a job come 1 July? Who knows. Current math suggests job losses for ~1200 people across our 3500 ish back office staff so watch this space.

Thanks to antidepressants, I can’t even be stressed about this. It’s amazing!!!

Dave got a solid bonus this year, which is amazing. They did it so tough last year through all the flooding and having clients on suicide watch and everything else and they really Fkn earned it so yay. Waiting to find out what his pay rise will be as well.

At least both of us can keep our current jobs when we move and just commute a couple of days a week ( I’m in denial about the reality of this but anyway)

Naturally my sister and her husband couldn’t possibly be left out so have also put an offer on a house up there but it was so impulsive and a really dumb choice but it’s been accepted so their only hope now is they can’t sell their current house.

Fuck I’m glad we don’t have stamp duty in this country.

I signed up for an online bootcamp class on zoom that’s 530 every morning coz let’s be real I ain’t doing nothing after work apart from collapsing in a heap and it’s been so fun! They are v much like, this is your first start back in a while these are your regressions we expect to see you using them and then don’t shame you for it either? And are just like, too hard? Don’t use weights then? And my god is it ever a relief for my poor overweight body to not be forcing it to move in ways it can’t and reminding myself that actually I can do pretty amazing things if I give it a chance and it’s just been such a massive mental win. Maybe over the next few months I might get my eating sorted you never know.

I signed up for it as a 6 week challenge kinda thing and I’m 99% sure I haven’t lost any weight which was not at all the point of signing up for it - it was proving to myself I could be consistent with something and I’ve achieved that so yay.

Dave and I are good which is lovely. Even started talking to the counsellor about all my sex hang ups which is deeply unpleasant and awkward but at least it moving things along a bit??? 🤮🤮🤮😬😬😬😳😳

Have I mentioned lately how good antidepressants are honestly?? I have my brain back and my personality and it’s wild.

We wanna start having kids this year? Also wild.

Had a birthday and now I’m 34 and somehow it’s April? I do not understand time at all honestly.

I fucking love my new doctor he’s actually the best I will not be changing when we move.

I’m excited for a slower, quieter pace of life and more chill. I’m honestly done with my girl boss era. I’ve made the money and chased the titles and it’s exhausting honestly. (Watch this change again rapidly)

I was away for 7 of 8 weekends across Feb and March and it was INSANE. weddings. TAYLOR SWIFT ERAS TOUR!!!!! Birthdays and friend birthday and mum and I went to Pink and other birthdays and it was way too much. Oh, and house hunting mixed in. Plus ya know, a full time job in the mix.

It’s been a Fkn massive start to the year, and she ain’t slowing down any time soon.

Antidepressants man. Wild the difference they have made to my life. WILD.

Happy and grateful for my life and everyone in it and all the madness that it is right now. Someday it’ll be chill right??? I’ve been saying that since 2019 at some point I’ll accept that the answer is no.

Cool cool cool what a wild ride.

[editorialsonlife]

Create yourself. Brick by brick. It doesn’t happen overnight, but gradually. Over time. Develop yourself, and notice as you grow. See as you blossom into who you are to become.

Dr. Nicole Addison | thepowerwithin

[editorialsonlife]

Yes, I want to look better naked, but as I'm a grandma now I REALLY want to do things like oh, get on and off the toilet by myself in 20 years. I want to not break my hip walking up the stairs. I want to be able to do whatever I want to do cause I'm strong enough to do it.

[editorialsonlife]

a concept: me, going to bed on time and eating right

[editorialsonlife]

Well I did not make my 540 alarm after the worst nights sleep ever, but I have been for a walk now while waiting for Dave to finish up at work, so a good 50 mins along the waterfront. Effort done.

Gunna go home, have dinner, smash some melatonin and hopefully sleep for the entire night tonight. Yikes.

Yawn

[editorialsonlife]

Super jazzed that my alarm is set for 540am because it’s too freaking hot to exercise after work.

I am doing my best to be committed to my goals but also like, sleep pls????

Covid recovery continues and I get tired faster than I used to but I really just wanna be consistent this year so this is how I’m making it happen.

[editorialsonlife]

I hope the mutuals I never talk to are doing well.

[editorialsonlife]

I’ve survived three years of this stupid pandemic and I lost my covid free streak. I’m so dark.

8 people on our floor of ~100 have tested positive in the last 48 hrs and I’m so annoyed I’m one of them!

Fortunately not yet feeling too shit but I suspect the worst is yet to come.

Spose I had to get it at some point.

[editorialsonlife]

[editorialsonlife]

“nobody cares about your wrapped” false. i care. i’m nosy as hell post all your stats i wanna see

[editorialsonlife]

Well this government is gunna be an absolute dumpster fire and move NZ backwards by about 40 years. Simply despairing that this is where the votes landed. I simply don’t get it. How is this where we’ve ended up?!?!?!

😭😭😭

[editorialsonlife]

Think we have a wasps nest in the ceiling. rude.

[editorialsonlife]

Home from Melbourne, antidepressants have settled, and it's time to get on with life again and start creating some positive momentum for myself.

Got all my steps in today, did a workout, totally assed over in the office today (thanks double ear infections fucking my balance entirely), didn't drink any coke and ate pretty well all things considered. I also made myself a cute motivational lock screen given how often I look at my phone too so that's a bit of fun.

Tomorrow will be supermarket shopping and getting some good snacks to eat and then its just to continue on with this momentum

The good thing about being away is that we're always so active on holiday - even with both of us being sicked we still clocked over 20,000 steps a day every day, so my body can do it - I just like to tell myself it can't.

Nothing changes if nothing changes right??

[editorialsonlife]

adulthood is just telling yourself “and after i’ve done THAT i can finally relax” with increasing desperation

[editorialsonlife]

15.10.23

Aaaaah where to even start at the moment.

The election last night sucked balls. I'm so deeply unimpressed and worried about the future of this country, and the fact that so many people think an individualistic capitalistic hellscape is the only way forward. We've lost sight of the fact that a rising tide lifts all boats, and I'm so worried about the future for our lower income, marginalised, already discriminated against people and what this outcome will mean for them ya know? It's incredibly rough and it's going to be incredibly interesting to see where the next few years lead us.

On a personal level.... it's been a month of chaos. I had a lovely weekend with a friend in sydney, started the antidepressants when I got home (which has been a whole trip that I will delve into more) and then in the same three days, my friend ended up in hospital and was airlifted to our bigger wellington hospital for emergency spinal surgery with a significantly high risk of becoming paraplegic or quadriplegic. It was a really insane, really stressful few days, but damn oh damn did we absolutely have a great time being in the same city again honestly. it was so good seeing her every day for like a week. She ended up having the emergency surgery which went well, but they've identified problems with just about every vertebrae and disk in her spine so that's not great. fortunately, she got quite a lot of function back after her surgery. She's still in for a long road of recovery, but given she was walking around a ward clutching my arm and could barely get 10 steps in before needing to sit she's done amazingly well. This is the girl I hike mountains with, we do yoga, we've done bootcamp and weightlifting and walks and everything in between and I am so terrified for her and her family. so stressful honestly.

That was a super great week to start tablets that make you more deperessed and anxious before they start working adn unfortuantely for me I've hit just about every common side effect and some of the obscure ones as well while I've been onboarding up to a full dose. I'm still not there three weeks in and I probably won't be for another three at the rate I'm going tbh but anyway.

I think it's also starting to sink in just quite how depressed I actually have been for a very long time and there's a bunch of self reckoning and grief that comes with that and its feeling like a whole thing at the moment. I also just cannot. CANNOT. Start things at the moment and it's the actual worst. if I have to deliver something for someone else then I can pull it together briefly (and v last minute) but I cannot get anything done for myself or if there's no impending deadline and all I can say is this better fucking pass really quickly coz I'm not about this life it's incredibly hard to manage.

I also just... do not know who I am anymore or what I like or what I do for fun? All my weekend friends have left and Dave is such a homebody and now I just don't do anything in the weekends? I have no one to go on walks with or get coffee with and its a really weird thing to deal with? I have a load of friends but with Lynaire and Larissa gone, and Shelley constantly in Auckland it's all just completely shifted? I don't like it and I need to do something about it. I also don't know what I do for fun anymore or just for me and I need to find some things like asap.

One of the v interesting things to come out of the Sydney trip tho is that the friend I was visiting is SUCH a gym person and counts macros and gyms every day and even tho I'm like 40kg overweight I absolutely had more endurance than her. We were doing like 20-25,000 steps a day and she was so cooked by the end of it but I still had the energy to go for a swim etc and go for an evening stroll. So I guess there's that even if I am horrendously fat right now.

I dunno what this govt change is gunna do for jobs but I'm finding that a weird thought. I don't know what I'll do for work when I move to palmy or if I wanna retrain or something. Will be weird. who knows. I honestly can't picture anything before T swift in feb next year. the future is just so unknown right now so I guess that'll just keep rolling. time will tell and we'll meet it when it gets here.

that about sums it all up really?

[editorialsonlife]

So dark about this election outcome. So so dark.