dykespreads

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STOP THE COUNT! #VRISKASWEEP

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Vertical koi pond feature.

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#after years and years hiatus i am back with this important message #hes so cute awww

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“People are called the d-slur because they reject men! That’s why bi women can’t use it! Lesbian-only word!” 

Nice separatist rhetoric, but that’s not how any of this works.

First, while there are lesbians who are called the d-slur after they say they’re not into men, nobody is going to ask a woman whether or not she likes men, or “make sure” she doesn’t, before they hurl that slur at her. 

Not only is it impossible to know who someone isn’t attracted to unless they tell you, but bigots most often do not give a damn. Gay/bi people experience homophobia and fight for rights on the basis of our attraction to the same gender. No gay man is fighting for the right to not marry women. The idea a lack of attraction is all that homophobes attack people for also implies that they’d be similarly mad at aroace women, which is false. 

(Here’s a post on the whole “lack of attraction” concept, pointing out historical conceptions of women’s [proposed lack of] sexuality.)

Second, there are bi women who only date women and straight women who don’t date anyone—lesbians aren’t the only ones who “reject” men or are punished for not being “available” to them. Insisting that other women are inherently “catering” or even “available” to them just because of their attraction to them is straight-up misogynistic.

Third, it takes about two seconds to learn about the etymology and see that it was originally about women being masculine (which most people associate with same-gender attraction, which bisexual women experience; this connection may also explain the common stereotypes of lesbians being hairy or ugly). At first, it virtually only applied to butches. The solitary d-slur as a pejorative arguably came from the term “bull-[d slur],” which was used to describe masculine women or those who “engaged in lesbian activities” (“lesbian” used to be a synonym for “tribade,” something one did rather than who one was.) A lot of homophobic violence comes from perceived gender-nonconformity. 

Fourth, lesbians and bi women have shared community spaces and terminology including butch/femme and the word “lesbian,” for decades. forever. “Bisexual” wasn’t a (recorded) reclaimed identity term until about the 50s (possibly 40s), and in the 60s, some bisexuals chose to “call [themselves] homosexual, not bisexual” because they saw the “bisexual” label as a cop-out, and they’ll “be gay until everyone has forgotten that [same-sex attraction] is an issue.” Score one for internalized biphobia!

Until the 70/80s or so—when political lesbianism came about and gained popularity, especially among modern-definition lesbians—the word “lesbian” typically (though not exclusively) referred to all woman-loving women (but sometimes, only butches were considered “true” lesbians). The political usage of “lesbian” increased as the gay movement grew in response to its misogyny and power imbalance. We find one clear example of it including bi women from a 1973 issue of the lesbian newspaper, Lavender Woman:

To me, a lesbian is a woman-oriented woman; bisexuals can be lesbians. A lesbian does not have to be exclusively woman oriented, she does not have to prove herself in bed, she does not have to hate men, she does not have to be sexually active at all times, she does not have to be a radical feminist. She does not have to like bars, like gay culture, or like being gay. When lesbians degrade other lesbians for not going to bars, not coming out, being bisexual or not sexually active, and so on, we oppress each other.

Up until even the 90s (and allegedly early 2000s), “lesbian” was sometimes defined as “any woman who has at some time in her life loved another woman.” The woman who said this was Joan Nestle, out lesbian and founder of the Lesbian Herstory Archives. The term “leather[d-slur]” was (as far as I can tell) coined in the 1996 book The Second Coming: A Leather[d-slur] Reader, co-authored by Robin Sweeney, a butch-identified bisexual woman. A 1996 study, “Ambiguous Identity in an Unambiguous Sex/Gender Structure: The Case of Bisexual Women,” states:

Many women in this study define a [d-slur] as ‘anyone who is not heterosexual,’ and lesbian-aligned bisexual women often use the term to describe themselves. This move allows bisexual women to participate in lesbian contexts without either the onus of deception, since ‘[d-slur]s’ includes bisexuals, or the burden of the bisexual stigma.

There weren’t many organized and independent bi communities until the 80s/90s, which was also when the lesbian community, for the most part, significantly split off from bisexual women (though separatism had been proposed and practiced before then). During this political shift, lesbians deemed bisexual women the “only true heterosexuals” and “parasites attaching themselves to the Lesbian community” even though, for decades, the lesbian community was their community.

Even without this history, many bi women will talk about how they’ve been called the d-slur by strangers, family, friends, and partners in regards to their bisexuality, and people still go “well, sorry, but you’re attracted to men so you can’t say our word,” as if bi women’s attraction to men negates the homophobia they face, as if they can’t be gender-nonconforming in the same way butch lesbians are.

Even by saying that “bi women are only called d-slurs because people assume they’re lesbians,” one acknowledges that bi women can have so much in common with lesbians that they get “mistaken” for each other and attacked for the same reasons: their love for women, and sometimes the gender-nonconformity that comes with that. Speaking of the second thing, do you think homophobic strangers would call a femme lesbian a d-slur more than they would a GNC/butch bi woman?

When bi women argue that they should be able to reclaim the d-slur, it’s not due to them being itching for shiny new ways to be edgy or even wanting to say it—it’s simply because this word targets them for the same reason it targets lesbians. It has always been their word.

Inb4: “Well, cishet guys are called the f-slur sometimes, can they suddenly reclaim it now?” This poor excuse for a counterargument only has a chance of working if you think bi women oppress lesbians. News flash: They don’t. Please cease your obsession with comparing bi people to straight people.

#amazing post #love you mr kravitz

[dykespreads]

Anon you might be thinking of the post I wrote here: https://dykespreads.tumblr.com/post/177151309203/a-comprehensive-guide-to-why-pan-is-a-redundant-at

Hi, i'm looking for a post! the post outlined all the argumentss people make to say that bi and pan are different [following a statement followed by response format] and the post concluded with something like 'the difference comes down to personal preference and that preference is informed by biphobia.' it was a really good post and would help in an argument im having! thanks

I can’t recall seeing that specific post, but I have an essay that goes in-depth about the subject, an exhaustive compilation of bisexual quotes, and an article comparing bi and pan definitions. That should help.

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imagine being like "im a dyke who likes men". you didnt reclaim shit lmao, youre just saying slurs because you want to.

imagine being like “i dont know jack shit about my own history and also i love sniffing ass and being a bimisogynist”

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“People are called the d-slur because they reject men! That’s why bi women can’t use it! Lesbian-only word!” 

Nice separatist rhetoric, but that’s not how any of this works.

First, while there are lesbians who are called the d-slur after they say they’re not into men, nobody is going to ask a woman whether or not she likes men, or “make sure” she doesn’t, before they hurl that slur at her. 

Not only is it impossible to know who someone isn’t attracted to unless they tell you, but bigots most often do not give a damn. Gay/bi people experience homophobia and fight for rights on the basis of our attraction to the same gender. No gay man is fighting for the right to not marry women. The idea a lack of attraction is all that homophobes attack people for also implies that they’d be similarly mad at aroace women, which is false. 

(Here’s a post on the whole “lack of attraction” concept WRT historical conceptions of women’s [proposed lack of] sexuality.)

Second, there are bi women who only date women and straight women who don’t date anyone—lesbians aren’t the only ones who “reject” men or are punished for not being “available” to them. Insisting that other women inherently “cater” to them just because of their attraction to them is straight-up misogynistic.

Third, it takes about two seconds to learn about the etymology and see that it’s also—if not primarily—about women being masculine (which most people associate with same-gender attraction, which bisexual women experience). It arguably came from “bull-[d slur],” which was used to describe masculine women or those who “engaged in lesbian activities” (“lesbian” used to be a synonym for “tribade,” something one did rather than who one was.) Plus, a lot of homophobic violence comes from perceived gender-nonconformity. 

Fourth, lesbians and bi women have shared community spaces and terminology (including butch/femme) since forever. “Bisexual” wasn’t a (recorded) reclaimed identity term until the 50s, and in the 60s, some bisexuals chose to “call [themselves] homosexual, not bisexual” because they saw the “bisexual” label as a cop-out, and they’ll “be gay until everyone has forgotten that [same-sex attraction] is an issue.” Score one for internalized biphobia!

Until the 70/80s or so—when political lesbianism came about and gained popularity, especially among modern-definition lesbians—the word “lesbian” typically (though not exclusively) referred to all woman-loving women (but sometimes, only butches were considered “true” lesbians). The political usage of “lesbian” increased as the gay movement grew in response to its misogyny and power imbalance.

The lesbian community didn’t significantly split off from bisexual women until around the 80s/90s, and even during the 90s, “lesbian” was sometimes defined as “any woman who has at some time in her life loved another woman.” There weren’t many organized and independent bi communities until the 80s/90s. During this political shift, lesbians deemed bisexual women the “only true heterosexuals” and “parasites attaching themselves to the Lesbian community” even though, for decades, the lesbian community was their community.

Even without this history, many bi women I know talk about how they’ve been called the d-slur by strangers, family, friends, and partners in regards to their bisexuality, and still, people go “well, sorry, but you’re attracted to men so you can’t say our word,” as if bi women’s attraction to men negates the homophobia they face, as if they can’t be gender-nonconforming in the same way butch lesbians are.

Even by saying that “bi women are only called d-slurs because people assume they’re lesbians,” one acknowledges that bi women can have so much in common with lesbians that they get “mistaken” for each other and attacked for the same reasons: their love for women, and sometimes the gender-nonconformity that comes with that. 

When bi women argue that they should be able to reclaim the d-slur, it’s not that they’re itching for shiny new ways to be edgy or even that they necessarily want to say it—it’s simply because this word targets them for the same reason it targets lesbians. It has always been their word.

Inb4: “Well, cishet guys are called the f-slur sometimes, can they suddenly reclaim it now?” This poor excuse for a counterargument only has a chance of working if you think bi women oppress lesbians. News flash: They don’t. Please cease your obsession with comparing bi people to straight people.

[dykespreads]

you guys are really like “i can tolerate making fun of bi women for being mistreated by men, but i draw a line at insinuating that men ever mistreat bisexual women”

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Maybe if ur complaining about not seeing bi people call out lesbophobia its because you don't interact with enough bi people in your daily life, and also that acting like bi women saying dyke and reclaiming their personal trauma is peak lesbophobia in the lgbt community maybe there are underlying reasons why you think most bi women are lesbophobic (such as biphobia)

#Bro tumblr fucked up my tags #why do bi women focus so much on biphobia in the lesbian community? What about biphobic cis men? #This is a vague #Man I'm so pissed off #Like the whole attitude of their post that bi women are constantly taking things from lesbians and the having the gall to act like there's #And I quote Like as if their existence m #Ofc this person also thinks that bi women who say dyke actively oppress lesbians too so

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companies will literally be like “entry level job!” then require 5+ years of expertise, a BA, and professional references for 9$ an hour

#god im done w this shit #fuck america

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purposely choosing to ignore current events about the murder of black lives, for the sake of not wanting to see any “negativity” is so fucking stupid. blocking that out doesn’t make your fantasy bubble dreamy, it only shows willful ignorance and/or being blinded by your own privilege. that also goes for those who say police brutality is an american problem and it doesn’t affect them— the lack of sympathy is truly telling and anti-blackness exists everywhere so that’s relevant. if you’re present on social media, i guarantee you’re just one click away from at least knowing what the hell is going on. it’s so important these days since misinformation spreads like wildfire.

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hey guys im kinda in between jobs now due to COVID. my gf is asthmatic and overweight so i had to get an at home job since i can’t risk contracting anything in the big city i was working at. if i could get even 5$ for food and to help with groceries until i start getting a paycheck again i would greatly appreciate it!!! paypal.me/gridmark venmo is regawia

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IF YOU ARE IN SAN DEIGO PLEASE STAY SAFE

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TRAYVON MARTIN was walking home with an iced tea and Skittles. He was shot by George Zinneman, who was found not guilty.

KEITH SCOTT was sitting in a car, reading. He was shot by a police officer, who was not charged.

ATATIANA JEFFERSON was looking out her window, and was shot by a police officer, who is still under indictment for murder.

JONATHAN FERRELL was asking for help after an auto accident. He was shot twelve times by police, case ended in mistrial.

JORDAN EDWARDS was riding in a car and was shot in the back of the head by a police officer, who was found guilty of murder.

STEPHON CLARK was holding a cell phone, and was shot 8 times, 6 in the back. The officers were not charged.

AMADOU DIALLO while taking out his wallet, 41 shots were fired by four different officers. They were all acquitted.

RENISHA MCBRIDE after an auto accident, she knocked on someone’s door for help. The homeowner was found guilty of second-degree murder.

TAMIR RICE was playing with a toy gun, and was shot by police officer arriving on scene. Officer was not charged.

SEAN BELL was hosting a bachelor party. 50 rounds were fired by police officers who were found not guilty of charges.

WALTER SCOTT was pulled over for brake lights, and was shot in the back by a police officer who pleaded guilty to civil rights violations.

PHILANDO CASTILE was pulled over and told officer he had a legally registered weapon in car. Officer acquitted of all charges.

AIYANA JONES was sleeping and was accidentally shot by an officer in a raid on wrong apartment. Officer cleared of all charges.

TERRENCE CRUTCHER needed help when his vehicle broke down. Was shot by a police officer who was found not guilty of manslaughter.

ALTON STERLING was selling CDs, and was shot at close range while being arrested. No charges filed.

FREDDIE GRAY was beaten to death by officers while being transported in police van. All officers involved were acquitted.

JOHN CRAWFORD was shopping at WalMart, holding a BB gun that was on sale—police officer was not charged for his murder.

MICHAEL BROWN was shot twelve times by an officer, including in the back. No charges filed.

JORDAN DAVIS was killed because he was playing loud music. Shooter found guilty of first-degree murder.

SANDRA BLAND was pulled over for traffic ticket; was tasered and then arrested. Suspicious “suicide” while in jail. No charges.

BOTHAM JEAN was fatally shot in his home, which female officer ¿mistook for her own? (Which I’ll never understand.) Officer found guilty of murder.

OSCAR GRANT was handcuffed and placed face-down, officer then shot him in the back. Officer found guilty of involuntary manslaughter.

COREY JONES was waiting by his car which was broken down, and was shot three times by police officer, who was found guilty of murder.

AHMAUD AUBREY was jogging. He was shot by two racist men who claimed they suspected him of burglaries. Both men were charged with murder and aggravated assault.

GEORGE FLOYD was suspected of alleged fraud. He handcuffed and pinned to the ground by an officer’s knee. He begged for mercy and he was ignored.

ERIC GARNER: Stopped for selling cigarettes on a nyc street and choked by a cop in broad daylight. Complications of the stress put on his throat by the hold caused his death; Openly said “I can’t breathe” several times and pretty much died while three other cops watched their compatriot kill a man. Eric was well known for just trying to sell goods as a side hustle and never actually hurt anybody.

DJ HENRY was fatally shot in his car by police officer Aaron Hess in the early morning hours of Oct. 17, 2010. DJ's passengers say they were doing nothing wrong when Hess ran out in front of them in the road. Hess says he only fired because he was in fear for his life. Hess later admitted to lying on multiple occasions after DJ’s death about the shooting.

These were all murders. They were not accidental. All of these innocent people: men, women AND children. Were murdered because they were black. Not because they were violent. Not because they were threatening, but because they were black. Something has to change. We have to MAKE a change. Black lives matter. Black men. Black women. Black children. Non-Binary blacks. Trans blacks. Every single one of their lives matter. Your friends. Your neighbors. Your teachers. Your brothers. Your sisters. We are the change.

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this list isn’t even close to a being a quarter of the wrongful African American deaths in America and if there is anyone you’d like me to add please message me. I will gladly add them because people deserve to know their names.

#Racism #ask to tag #I know to my black followers these kinds of posts can be intensely distressing #let me know if you want me to tag it

[dykespreads]

⚠️❗WHITE SUPREMACISTS SCHEDULED A FAKE PROTEST IN SAN DIEGO FOR TOMORROW, MAY 30TH❗⚠️

DO NOT ATTEND, BLM SAN DIEGO IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH THIS PROTEST

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‘i’m bi so i can say dyke’ u have worms for brains love

Nope I just know what I can and can't do since I'm not 11 anymore and can think for myself. You would think that tumblr would respect my boundaries and acknowledge my experiences with homophobia but no such luck I guess.