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drowninginliquidsmooth · 2 years

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a oneshot idea for Iceman: being married to Ice and pregnant with your guys' first child. him being guilty that hes never around bcs being a pilot is demanding. but you assure him you understand and tht you have a great support system around to help out.

Pregnant With Guilt -

Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky x Fem!Wife!Pregant!Reader

Thank you so much for this request, I changed it slightly to have a very cute ending- but I hope you will still enjoy it <3

Warnings: slight angst, lots of mentions of pregnancy (if there are anymore please let me know)

Tom’s POV

Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky, was an excellent Naval Aviator- A TOPGUN graduate- but the mission he was on at that moment in time was proving rather difficult.

It wasn’t because he was a bad pilot- but he was struggling to accept the fact that he was hundreds of miles from his beloved wife, who was pregnant with their first child.

He desperately wanted to be at home with you, spending his days doting on you and your baby. He could hardly concentrate in whilst he hung out with his squadron at the bar, all he could think about you sitting at home alone taking care of yourself and your growing baby.

Most nights, he went to bed early and dreamt about the night you told him the sacred news.

You had known for two weeks already but you had been spending time putting together the perfect surprise for your husband. Whilst he was out playing volleyball with Slider, you had gone to the shops and put to gather your surprise.

At 6:30, Tom came home as you served up his favourite meal.

“Baby,” he sighed kissing your cheek, before sitting down at the table “you didn’t have to make this.”

“You right Tom, I didn’t have to, but I did,” you had told him with an over-exaggerated wink. “Now dig in I have a surprise for ya,”

That night, Tom had eaten his meal in flash, clearly eager to discover what was waiting for him.

You told him to wait in his seat, before moving the pots into the kitchen and returning with a large gold box, tied with a black bow.

“Honey, what’s this for?” He questioned, suddenly worried that he had forgotten an important event.

“Just open it my love, and all will be revealed,” you slid the box closer to him on the table.

You had been hit by a sudden splash of nerves as he delicately undid the lavish bow and removed the box’s lid.

You couldn’t meet his eyes, instead staring at your lap has he gasped.

Tears had began to trickle down Tom’s face as he was met with the sight of two positive pregnancy tests which sat atop a beige baby blanket, and next to them sat a beautifully crafted rattle in the form of a giraffe.

Quickly he stood and grabbed you into a strong hug, you stood up against him and felt him grin into you shoulder.

“I’m gonna be a daddy!!” He screamed at the top of his voice.

“You’re gonna be a daddy Tommy,” you giggled.

He was deployed Three weeks later.

Tom had only been gone eight weeks when you called him, baring the news that your baby had kicked for the first time.

Tom was so happy that the baby was seemingly healthy, but simultaneously devastated that he wasn’t there to feel his son or daughter make their first movements.

That night, Tom had fallen asleep crying. His mind was filled with doubts about his ability to be a father. He felt he was already letting his baby down, as he was not their to watch it develop and he knew that his job would lead to a great absence in his child’s life.

Tom got the news that he would be home the same time you turned 23 weeks pregnant and he couldn’t wait. He had practically rant through the airport towards his five hour flight- his body aching to cradle your own.

Your Pov

The news of your husband’s return caused a sense of relief to wash over you.

Whilst he was away, you had all the help you could get from your mother and older sister, who had gone through six pregnancies between them. Their experience had meant that your pregnancy had been a lot easier than it could have been.

The soon to be grandmother and aunty were constantly at your side, then cleaned for you, helped you through morning sickness and growing pains, and even took you to your scans.

Only your mother knew the gender of your child, as you wanted to wait for Tom to return before finding out, and she had promised to keep the secret until a gender reveal could be arranged.

Due to all the help you had received, you were never alone. Most of the time you greatly appreciated this, but sometimes all you craved was to lay snuggled in bed with a book (and preferably your lover) where you could attempt to relax for the first time in months.

Your sister was the one who had took you to the airport, you both waited outside the exit as you knew inside would be a difficult place to be when you were pregnant.

However, as the ETA of your husband came closer, your sister returned to the car - wishing to allow the two of you to reunite in peace.

You were positively buzzing with excitement when you got the first glimpse of bright blond hair, and then all of a sudden you were in the the strong arms of the love of your life as he covered your face in kisses.

“Oh darling I have missed you so much,” he mumbled into the crook of your neck

“Tommy that tickles! I’ve missed you two though honey,” you giggled.

Quickly Tom dropped to his knees and began to say hello to your child, pressing kisses all over your bump.

Eventually you were dropped of home by your sister, who was only slightly disgusted by the amount of kisses shared on the backseat of her car.

You were surprised however, when Tom once again scooped you into a hug as the door to your home was closed. You were used to his affection, but you were startled by your lover crying in your arms.

“Oh Tommy, baby, what’s wrong?” You gasped, worried that something had happened on the mission.

“I’m so sorry baby, I’m so so sorry, I should’ve been here for you these past months. I should have been the one caring for you, but instead I’ve been on the other side of the country!” He sobbed into you, and you moved so you were both sat on your living room sofa.

“Oh my love, I didn’t know you were so upset about this, but my love I promise I’ve been okay, I have been properly cared for these few months- and now we get to live out the rest of my pregnancy together,” you explained, honestly shocked that he felt this way.

“I know that honey, and I am so grateful for the fact that you’ve been cared for up to this point and that I’m now here to love you, but this is our first child, I should have been here for the entire pregnancy,”

You didn’t speak yet, you just placed one of your husband’s hands on your belly, so he could feel your baby as it began to kick, this made his eyes widen and his sons worsen, however.

“I wasn’t even there for our child’s first kick and this feels magical now, but I wish I could have felt the first time with you. And what if it happens again? What if you become pregnant again and I have to leave?”

At this point you were both laid on the sofa, one of Tom’s hands were rubbing over your belly , and the other held your hand.

You gently shushed him, cooing at him until he was calm, “Sweetheart, I don’t know what the future holds for us but I know your an excellent husband, and I’m certain you’ll be an even better father. Please I beg you, don’t worry, everything will work out for us.”

“I can’t dare to even think about our child growing up with an absent father like I did, this job is risky. Our son or daughter doesn’t deserve to be raised by a widow mother, or to have a childhood where they see their father every few months. This job makes me an inadequate parent- you don’t deserve that my love,” Tom told you, he had began to cry again and it was clear as day that he was struggling with fatherhood.

“Honey, what are you saying? We knew the risks of your job going into this marriage. I know we weren’t trying for a baby yet but I had assumed you wished for a bigger family one day. Did I get that wrong?” You questioned, now worried you didn’t know your love as well as you had once believed.

“My love, I want nothing more than a family with you, but my job means that I can’t have that in the way I wanted,” he told you, wiping his tears on his long sleeves.

“So what do we do,” you questioned, “is this you leaving me?” Tears began to well up in your eyes, he wouldn’t, surely.

“No,no,no, honey I would never,” he gasped, before pressing kisses across your cheeks.

“It means, I’m leaving the Navy,” he announced.

This news shook you to your core, it was only two years ago that Tom had been promoted to Captain. Would he really give it all up?

“Tom are you serious? This job was your dream?” You asked, placing one of your hands on each of his cheeks.

“Well, having a family with you is my new dream, I have a lot of money from the Navy, so we could open that bookshop you’ve always dreamed of. Look, I’m 42 years old, I don’t need to be flying fast planes anymore, I need to be surrounded by my family!” He laid out his plan and you could tell he had been considering this for a while now.

“Oh baby, you know I would you’ve that, but only if you want it too,” you told him, before press a firm kiss to his lips.

“That’s it settled then, Tom Kazansky is retiring from the U.S Navy!” He exclaimed, beaming at you.

#iceman x reader #iceman #tom kazansky x reader #top gun #tom kazansky #top gun x reader #top gun maverick #val kilmer

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drowninginliquidsmooth · 2 years

Text

A Letter to My Beloved -Tom “Iceman” Kazansky x wife!reader

Warnings: ANGST!!! Hurt/some comfort, detailed description of a dead body, mentions of throwing up, major character death.

You knew it would happen.

Deep down in your gut, you knew it was a very real possibility. For some reason, you had never allowed yourself to believe it would happen.

Being a naval aviator, there was always great risk to your husband's job, but for some reason your brain had completely shut off the idea of any bad happening to Tom.

It was Tom “Iceman” Kazansky for god’s sake. He was an amazing pilot; he was one of the most skilled pilots in the U.S Navy. A graduate of Top Gun, he was an extremely sensible flyer who rarely made mistakes.

You honestly believed that you had nothing to worry about. You had seen other military wives become widows and had pitied them, but you had never considered the fact that you could end up living their lives.

Now, you really regret not taking the time to think about what you would do if you lost your husband to his job.

On the second of November 2003, you had been married to the love of your life for ten years. You wouldn’t change a thing about the life you led. You lived in a cute little house in San Diego with your 5-year-old golden retriever, Sunny, and your gorgeous baby girl, bonnie, aged 3.

At that time, Tom had been training for a top-secret mission for six months, and you were beyond desperate to see his beautiful grin and bright eyes once again.

However, that hope had been viciously ripped from your brain and aggressively stomped on under heavy military boots.

At 4pm on the 13th of November 2003, you received a call which caused your entire life to crumble into a dilapidated skeleton of what it once was.

You had been sprawled on your couch with your precious girl asleep on your chest and your snoring dog laid atop your feet and legs.

It was an adorable sight to behold, the house in a beautiful state of tranquility. The only thing missing was your gorgeous Tom.

It took you a while to reach your phone, which was ringing in the kitchen, as you had to ease yourself from under your children.

Eventually you regretted ever picking up the phone.

“Y/n? This is Pete Mitchell, remember me?” You were asked. Of course you remembered him, he and Tom had been very close since their shared time at Top Gun.

“Hey Pete! What can I do for you?” You asked him cheerily, expecting him to just be calling in a favour from your husband.

“Y/n I am so, so sorry. There’s been an accident. The plane Ice and Slider were in came crashing down into a mountain and- and,” He was sobbing now. Something terrible had happened to your Tom and a painful feeling consumed you.

You asked the painful question, “Did they both make it?”

“We don’t know yet, the rescue team are still out but it’s not looking good,” You were both sobbing now, unsure if the fate of your husband and friend.

“All I know is you need to get down to Top Gun right now, that’s where they’ll be taken to. A driver has been sent for you, pack a bag for a few days and bring Bonnie and Sunny with you. You can stay with me,”

“Oh god I don’t know I’m gonna do if he’s hurt,” you sobbed, the pain of the possibility of your husband being much more than injured was gnawing at your brain.

You thanked Pete and hung up the phone before racing to pack some clothes for you and Bonnie to wear over the next few days. You hesitated before you went down stairs where you grabbed Sunny’s lead, food and bowl.

Within an half an hour, you were in a cab being driven towards the Naval school your husband and his friends had told you about so many times, and you prayed that you’d be able to hear him re-live his memories once more.

When you arrived, Pete met you outside the base. You sobbed in each other’s embrace briefly before he took Sunny back to his place for you, and you were ushered into an Admirals office.

“Mrs Kazansky I am so sorry to be the one to tell you this. The rescue team have just arrived back at base with Iceman and Slider. Slider is currently in a coma, but unfortunately Kazansky did not survive the crash,” the information relayed to you by the Admiral caused your heart to burn.

The second the news had processed within your mind, you had collapsed to the floor screaming out for your dead husband. You were a sobbing mess by the time Pete entered the room, and instantly he was a mess with you as he realised what this meant.

Pulling you up from your place on the floor, Pete grabbed you within his arms and cooed in your ear, he was clearly used to comforting distressed newly widowed women and men.

“Once again, I am so, so sorry for your loss Mrs Kazansky, the Navy will pay for the entire burial and funeral, and you’ll receive great compensation for your loss,” the admiral told you, clearly used to this kind of situation.

“I’m sure your kind words are appreciated , Admiral, as well the actions of the Navy towards Toms funeral, but your apologies are futile when there’s a Widowed lady and her fatherless child on the floor of your office,” Pete spoke on your behalf.

In your overpowering pain, you had almost forgotten the toddler who was now cradled within the arms of Pete, but now she was all you could think of.

You couldn’t raise a child on your own, you’d had your struggles even when Tom was around for help. Sure, the compensation from the Navy would help for a while but it would run out eventually and you’d be left to take care of yourself, a child and a dog on a single salary.

It was this thought that made you realise you would never see the smile of your husband as he read a bedtime story to your daughter again.

You would never be able to sit and watch amusedly as he galloped around the bedroom, enacting a very convincing knight who was attempting save princess Bonnie.

Never again will you wake up to your husband sitting beside you, a tray of your favourite breakfast and a cup of tea in his hands.

You’ll never be able to see his famous smirk again, the one he displayed to you six months ago as he bedded you, on the night before his deployment.

Thankfully, you were broken out of your spiralling thoughts as you were handed a letter.

The envelope was a baby pink colour, it was one of your own. In a black marker, the words “To my beloved, Y/n” were scrawled across the front. You would recognise the handwriting of your lover anywhere.

Turning over the envelope, you saw it was sealed with image of a heart stamped in gold wax. Carefully -as you wished to preserve the final letter you would receive from the love of your life- your shaking fingers opened up the envelope to reveal a letter that you wished you would never have to read.

To my sweet Y/n,

If you are reading this, I am dead. But I suppose you already know this, my love.

I am so sorry to have left you so early, my darling, I would never do it purposefully.

As I write this, you are pregnant with our first child, and I hope we manage to have many more before you have to read this letter.

I truly wish I didn’t have to write this, but my job is a hard one, it comes with extreme consequences that sometimes cannot be avoided.

I want you to enjoy your life without me, please do not dwell on our past together for too long, it will only make the truth more painful.

Please, my dearest sweetheart, live your life to the fullest, even in my absence.

You will be given access to the money I have saved since I was in college, I want that to go your life without me. Spend it however you want, as what is mine, is yours.

I want you to know that you and our unborn child are the best thing to ever happen to me. I know sometimes you doubt your ability to be a mother, but I can assure you you are perfection.

I love you, and am sorry to leave you however I have.

Yours in both life and death,

Tom Kazansky.

As you read the letter, your soul was once again crushed by despair. You could no longer deny that your husband was dead, as he had confirmed it himself within the letter.

“I want to see him,” you bravely demanded, attempting to wipe your tears before taking your daughter back into your arms.

As you were lead to the mortuary on base, you wailed as you watched Bonnies face. Her blue eyes and blonde hair made her the spitting image of her father. It wrecked you beyond belief to think that he would never see her grow up, but you were slightly comforted that you would always have a peice of him, stored within her.

The Morgue, as expected was a cold place. The pain you felt grew significantly as you entered the room and saw a covered figure laid out on the metal table in the middle of the room.

“I want to be alone,” you told the Admiral and Pete, handing your daughter over once again, you couldn’t let her see this.

You hated the amount of time you’d had to give away your daughter that day, it made you nervous for the future. Would you be able to raise a child on your own?

Once they had left, you slowly walked on wobbling legs towards the table.

Taking a deep breath in, you grasped the sheet within your hands, pulling it downwards.

The sight of your husband, rigid and pale, caused you to vomit on the floor next to you.

However, you managed to look at the now ruined face of your sweetheart.

You could clearly see injury that killed him, a piece of glass had jammed into his brain, quickly ending his life.

As well as this sickening image, his entire body were covered in scars, some of his fingers were broken, and the tip of his once-cute nose had been sliced off.

It was a gruesome sight, not something any wife should ever have to see, but despite this you managed to place a quick kiss to his bruised lips, saying good night to him one final time, before you collapsed to the floor once again.

When you awakened, you were no longer on the cold floor of the morgue, but in a warm comfy bed- much like the one you had shared with Tom.

At this thought you began to sob, and a warm weight beside you began to shift. Evidently, Pete had been kind enough to take you home and hold you as you sleep.

However as you began to fully wake up, tears streaming down your face, you were not met with the voice of Pete Mitchell.

Instead, your face was grasped within the hand of your husband, whose thumb was wiping away your tears.

“Hush now my love, whatever is the matter? Did you have another nightmare?” A sweet voice asked you.

A nightmare.

Ever since there was a close call on a mission, involving engine failure and mountains, you had been having relentless night terrors involving the death of your husband.

Choosing to stay quiet, you nodded slightly, and in response your husband - who was alive and well- pulled you into lap and held you in his strong grasp.

And there you fell asleep one again, within the warm embrace of your love, who cooed in your ear and ran his fingers through your hair.

A/n: IM SORRY. This was supposed to be a hurt/no comfort fic but the crying I was doing gave me a headache and I just couldn’t take it. There was supposed to be a painful funeral scene but I couldn’t bring myself to write it.

If you enjoyed this fic, please consider following me for more.

#tom kazansky x reader #tom kazansky #iceman #iceman x reader #pete mitchell #top gun #top gun x reader #top gun maverick #angst fic

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