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dr-felitas · 17 hours
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ANG BEER NA 'TO O ANG PAG-IBIG MO?
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synopsis: taking care hsr men when they’re drunk ft. hsr men
pairing: aventurine, sunday, veritas ratio x reader (separate) | wc: 1.2k | content & warnings: fluff, mentions of alcohol and drinking/being under the influence , mentions of bathing together (veritas part) ; headcanon + drabble
tags: this is dedicated to my beloved filipino alcohol addict, who else if not @azullumi?? (istg one day you're gonna get an alcohol poisoning if you continue to drink) note to azul will follow at the very bottom as always <3
a/n: ang beer na 'to o ang pag-ibig mo? -> is it beer or your love? (im not even filipino but vietnamese..oh well..)
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SUNDAY
talks a lot.
much different from his usual demeanor
really talkative 
he babbles, rambles and chatters your ears off
“did you know that me and robin used to take care of a charmony dove?” he asks.
“yes, yes i do. you’ve told me thrice in the past 30 minutes.” you sigh. 
“oh.” his mouth forms a small “o” before speaking up again. “well did you know that-”
“that you still have to make some preparations for the upcoming charmony festival?” you interrupt him and finish his sentence.
“how’d you know?” you can’t make out if it’s amazement or curiosity in his words. “well, a little birdie told me that not too long ago.” 
“my bird?” he asks. 
“..yeah, totally..” you hum.
AND really touchy which is unusual
sunday reaches forward to push the loose strands of your hair away from your forehead. “sunday what are you-” before you’re able to finish your question he presses his chapped lips against your forehead, placing a tender kiss on it. 
before going down and peppering kisses along your jawline until his lips reach your collarbone. “stop that tickles!” you giggle and try to push him away to no use - it was pointless. it was like he was glued to your side.
his bony fingers find your hand and laces them together before softly squeezing them, eyes never leaving your face as he studies your expression.
he keeps eulogizing and complimenting you
“have i ever told you how pretty you are?” he takes a small bundle of your hair into his hand, before slowly caressing it with his thumb and index finger as he awaits your response.
upon that you can’t help but smile. the corners of your lips quirk up and you grin like a teenager who spots their crush exiting the classroom after intentionally switching routes just to see them.
“you do, but not as openly and often.” you say in response he can only gasp in surprise. “really?” “really!” you laugh.
(he then proceeds to write a sticky note for his future sober self to compliment you more.)
only shuts up when you kiss him. 
you lean forward to press a chaste kiss on his lips, it’s a fleeting moment and the kiss doesn’t last as long as sunday wishes it would. it’s too short for his liking, granting him no chance to reciprocate the action. 
“shut up, loverboy. let’s get you back home.” you beam at him with a smile brighter than both the moon and stars. your eyes are pools of love, an intoxicating essence sunday would gladly drown in. (not like he already hasn’t.) 
in return he shoots you a lovesick smile which makes you melt.
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AVENTURINE
unusually quiet until you talk to him and he pours out his heart
this is weird.
normally aventurine is the talkative one among the two of you but it seems like the tables have turned. there’s nothing but the sound of the wind blowing through the night and you cringe at the silence. 
“‘rine are you okay?” you attempt to ask, hoping that he’d at least respond with a hum.
““you still like me, right?” he whispers. his answer was so quiet that you almost didn’t hear it but it did catch you off guard.
 “what?” you ask confusedly, almost in disbelief.
“what.” 
when you drape his arm over your shoulder to help him walk he’s slightly tripping and keeps apologizing 
unlike sunday who’s the one reassuring you, aventurine is the one who constantly seeks reassurance from you
and not even indirectly, yeah no, directly
“m’sorry that you have to take care of me. you can tell me if it’s bothersome.” he says in an apologetic tone and you try your best to reassure him. “no, really it’s alright!” you stop your movements to take a quick breather.
aventurines quick to react and extracts his arm from your shoulder and tries to stand steady on his two feet. (miserably failing) “am i too heavy? sorry.” he apologizes, not being able to stand still.
“not at all!” you smile. “i just had to take a quick break but let’s continue.” you reach out your hand for him to grab on and as soon as he places his palm on yours you hold on tightly. 
“also, aventurine, you don’t have to keep apologizing.” you say empathetically. 
“sorry.”
aventurine is someone who has only had himself for a very long time and he himself was the one who helped him overcome many obstacles in his life with no one else at his side so try to reassure him as much as possible to let him know that he’s not alone
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VERITAS RATIO
the type who only gets drunk when it’s a party hosted by the company or anything regarding his researches to indulge in the fun and celebrate the process
later on only babbles about some of his discoveries 
the others eventually get tired but try to look interested, veritas, like the attentive person he is, notices and complains about how you’d listen
you’re leaving the bathroom and come back with 9 new messages from topaz and 7 ones from aventurine begging you to pick up veritas. 
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as you enter the party you immediately spot him near the bar, crowded by some employees and topaz and aventurine who look like they’re done. 
you step over to the bar and greet the both of them. “hi, i’m here to pick up veritas.” you smile. “that sounds like you’re picking him from kindergarten.” topaz laughs. “but yeah he’s all yours now.” she says as she clinks her glass against aventurines, as if she were to celebrate a victory.
you move towards veritas and tap him on the shoulder, the action makes him turn around and raise an eyebrow in confusion. “sorry, what business do i have with you?” he asks at which you can only laugh at. “veri, i’m here to pick you up.” you smile.
“my partner wouldn’t like you addressing me with a nickname that they exclusively chose for me.” he says politely. “ah and could you please not hold onto my hand, i doubt that they’d like that either.”
“veritas, i am your partner.”
he's not the one who’s touchy he wants you to be touchy
trace shapes against his back, bury your head into the crook of his neck and leave kisses, ruffle his hair and so on (especially when taking a bath!!)
“so what shape was that?” you ask in excitement after you drew a tree onto his back with your wet fingers. 
“π” he responds. (it sounds more like a question than an answer from the way he responded.)
at that you can only laugh. “close, it was a tree!” you lean down and bury your head against his neck, his back now facing your chest as you smile down at his skin and smear kisses along the crook of his neck thus making your lips covered in shower gel now. 
you remove your mouth from his skin and start to massage his back slowly and tenderly, making his tense muscles relax before moving your hands to his head, ruffling through his hair and softly massaging his scalp before coming to a halt.
“why’d you stop?” his eyelashes flutter as he opens his eyes and turns around to face you.
“ah, well you didn’t say anything so i thought you didn’t like it. so i stopped.” you answer apologetically. 
“did i tell you to stop?” he raises his eyebrow. “i suppose no..” you reply. 
“well then continue, please.”
he trusts you enough to bathe with him and especially when being drunk
knows that you won’t just leave him be and actually care for him and tend to his needs 
shower him with much affection and great care!!
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okay tending to the most special guest now!! @azullumi ladies and gents, non binaries and the others whatever you identify yourself with, make way for user azullumi!! if you think your 4 month situationship who had a gf all along responds slowly TALK TO AZUL. HE NEVER RESPONDS TO MY TIKTOKS AND OMG EVEN WORSE I REPLY TO THE ONES HE SENDS ME AND THEY DON'T EVEN RESPOND TO MY MESSAGES BUT PROCEED TO SEND ME ANOTHER TIKTOK??? THE AUDACITY HELLO??? anyway i hope this reaches you in good spirits?? is that how you say that?!?!?! i like this song a lot i think the first time i've heard it was in a kaeya (genshin) edit LMFAO and it's been one of my fav songs ever since. beer, love and filipino put that in a pot and your receive azul. but azul azul i love love love you a lot. it's always fun talking to you and sharing my ideas. knowing that i have you by my side is always so reassuring for me to know. someone who's proud of me and my achievements, someone who's willing to listen me out, someone who actually has great advice which is helpful. thank you, thank you. i'm so blessed to have you. you're probably the best thing that has happened to me in the past few months. (and that one A- i got from my strict history teacher 😍😍)
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e/n: not toooooo sure how to feel about this cause i wrote this for funsies but yeah! also rbs (with comments) are as always greatly appreciated. (i read through each of them). kisses to yall!!
© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 2 days
Text
ANG BEER NA 'TO O ANG PAG-IBIG MO?
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synopsis: taking care hsr men when they’re drunk ft. hsr men
pairing: aventurine, sunday, veritas ratio x reader (separate) | wc: 1.2k | content & warnings: fluff, mentions of alcohol and drinking/being under the influence , mentions of bathing together (veritas part) ; headcanon + drabble
tags: this is dedicated to my beloved filipino alcohol addict, who else if not @azullumi?? (istg one day you're gonna get an alcohol poisoning if you continue to drink) note to azul will follow at the very bottom as always <3
a/n: ang beer na 'to o ang pag-ibig mo? -> is it beer or your love? (im not even filipino but vietnamese..oh well..)
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SUNDAY
talks a lot.
much different from his usual demeanor
really talkative 
he babbles, rambles and chatters your ears off
“did you know that me and robin used to take care of a charmony dove?” he asks.
“yes, yes i do. you’ve told me thrice in the past 30 minutes.” you sigh. 
“oh.” his mouth forms a small “o” before speaking up again. “well did you know that-”
“that you still have to make some preparations for the upcoming charmony festival?” you interrupt him and finish his sentence.
“how’d you know?” you can’t make out if it’s amazement or curiosity in his words. “well, a little birdie told me that not too long ago.” 
“my bird?” he asks. 
“..yeah, totally..” you hum.
AND really touchy which is unusual
sunday reaches forward to push the loose strands of your hair away from your forehead. “sunday what are you-” before you’re able to finish your question he presses his chapped lips against your forehead, placing a tender kiss on it. 
before going down and peppering kisses along your jawline until his lips reach your collarbone. “stop that tickles!” you giggle and try to push him away to no use - it was pointless. it was like he was glued to your side.
his bony fingers find your hand and laces them together before softly squeezing them, eyes never leaving your face as he studies your expression.
he keeps eulogizing and complimenting you
“have i ever told you how pretty you are?” he takes a small bundle of your hair into his hand, before slowly caressing it with his thumb and index finger as he awaits your response.
upon that you can’t help but smile. the corners of your lips quirk up and you grin like a teenager who spots their crush exiting the classroom after intentionally switching routes just to see them.
“you do, but not as openly and often.” you say in response he can only gasp in surprise. “really?” “really!” you laugh.
(he then proceeds to write a sticky note for his future sober self to compliment you more.)
only shuts up when you kiss him. 
you lean forward to press a chaste kiss on his lips, it’s a fleeting moment and the kiss doesn’t last as long as sunday wishes it would. it’s too short for his liking, granting him no chance to reciprocate the action. 
“shut up, loverboy. let’s get you back home.” you beam at him with a smile brighter than both the moon and stars. your eyes are pools of love, an intoxicating essence sunday would gladly drown in. (not like he already hasn’t.) 
in return he shoots you a lovesick smile which makes you melt.
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AVENTURINE
unusually quiet until you talk to him and he pours out his heart
this is weird.
normally aventurine is the talkative one among the two of you but it seems like the tables have turned. there’s nothing but the sound of the wind blowing through the night and you cringe at the silence. 
“‘rine are you okay?” you attempt to ask, hoping that he’d at least respond with a hum.
““you still like me, right?” he whispers. his answer was so quiet that you almost didn’t hear it but it did catch you off guard.
 “what?” you ask confusedly, almost in disbelief.
“what.” 
when you drape his arm over your shoulder to help him walk he’s slightly tripping and keeps apologizing 
unlike sunday who’s the one reassuring you, aventurine is the one who constantly seeks reassurance from you
and not even indirectly, yeah no, directly
“m’sorry that you have to take care of me. you can tell me if it’s bothersome.” he says in an apologetic tone and you try your best to reassure him. “no, really it’s alright!” you stop your movements to take a quick breather.
aventurines quick to react and extracts his arm from your shoulder and tries to stand steady on his two feet. (miserably failing) “am i too heavy? sorry.” he apologizes, not being able to stand still.
“not at all!” you smile. “i just had to take a quick break but let’s continue.” you reach out your hand for him to grab on and as soon as he places his palm on yours you hold on tightly. 
“also, aventurine, you don’t have to keep apologizing.” you say empathetically. 
“sorry.”
aventurine is someone who has only had himself for a very long time and he himself was the one who helped him overcome many obstacles in his life with no one else at his side so try to reassure him as much as possible to let him know that he’s not alone
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VERITAS RATIO
the type who only gets drunk when it’s a party hosted by the company or anything regarding his researches to indulge in the fun and celebrate the process
later on only babbles about some of his discoveries 
the others eventually get tired but try to look interested, veritas, like the attentive person he is, notices and complains about how you’d listen
you’re leaving the bathroom and come back with 9 new messages from topaz and 7 ones from aventurine begging you to pick up veritas. 
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as you enter the party you immediately spot him near the bar, crowded by some employees and topaz and aventurine who look like they’re done. 
you step over to the bar and greet the both of them. “hi, i’m here to pick up veritas.” you smile. “that sounds like you’re picking him from kindergarten.” topaz laughs. “but yeah he’s all yours now.” she says as she clinks her glass against aventurines, as if she were to celebrate a victory.
you move towards veritas and tap him on the shoulder, the action makes him turn around and raise an eyebrow in confusion. “sorry, what business do i have with you?” he asks at which you can only laugh at. “veri, i’m here to pick you up.” you smile.
“my partner wouldn’t like you addressing me with a nickname that they exclusively chose for me.” he says politely. “ah and could you please not hold onto my hand, i doubt that they’d like that either.”
“veritas, i am your partner.”
he's not the one who’s touchy he wants you to be touchy
trace shapes against his back, bury your head into the crook of his neck and leave kisses, ruffle his hair and so on (especially when taking a bath!!)
“so what shape was that?” you ask in excitement after you drew a tree onto his back with your wet fingers. 
“π” he responds. (it sounds more like a question than an answer from the way he responded.)
at that you can only laugh. “close, it was a tree!” you lean down and bury your head against his neck, his back now facing your chest as you smile down at his skin and smear kisses along the crook of his neck thus making your lips covered in shower gel now. 
you remove your mouth from his skin and start to massage his back slowly and tenderly, making his tense muscles relax before moving your hands to his head, ruffling through his hair and softly massaging his scalp before coming to a halt.
“why’d you stop?” his eyelashes flutter as he opens his eyes and turns around to face you.
“ah, well you didn’t say anything so i thought you didn’t like it. so i stopped.” you answer apologetically. 
“did i tell you to stop?” he raises his eyebrow. “i suppose no..” you reply. 
“well then continue, please.”
he trusts you enough to bathe with him and especially when being drunk
knows that you won’t just leave him be and actually care for him and tend to his needs 
shower him with much affection and great care!!
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okay tending to the most special guest now!! @azullumi ladies and gents, non binaries and the others whatever you identify yourself with, make way for user azullumi!! if you think your 4 month situationship who had a gf all along responds slowly TALK TO AZUL. HE NEVER RESPONDS TO MY TIKTOKS AND OMG EVEN WORSE I REPLY TO THE ONES HE SENDS ME AND THEY DON'T EVEN RESPOND TO MY MESSAGES BUT PROCEED TO SEND ME ANOTHER TIKTOK??? THE AUDACITY HELLO??? anyway i hope this reaches you in good spirits?? is that how you say that?!?!?! i like this song a lot i think the first time i've heard it was in a kaeya (genshin) edit LMFAO and it's been one of my fav songs ever since. beer, love and filipino put that in a pot and your receive azul. but azul azul i love love love you a lot. it's always fun talking to you and sharing my ideas. knowing that i have you by my side is always so reassuring for me to know. someone who's proud of me and my achievements, someone who's willing to listen me out, someone who actually has great advice which is helpful. thank you, thank you. i'm so blessed to have you. you're probably the best thing that has happened to me in the past few months. (and that one A- i got from my strict history teacher 😍😍)
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e/n: not toooooo sure how to feel about this cause i wrote this for funsies but yeah! also rbs (with comments) are as always greatly appreciated. (i read through each of them). kisses to yall!!
© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 3 days
Text
LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOR - chuuya nakahara
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synopsis: if you wouldn't know any better you'd think that chuuya nakahara doesn't take a liking to you - he loathes you. but what if one day you make a shocking discovery that it might be the opposite.
pairing: chuuya nakahara x gn!reader | wordcount: 1.2k | content & warnings: im at the first ep of s4, so if chuuya mischaracterized no need to wonder…, school au-ish kind of??, cursing (fuck), dazai teases chuuya for his crush, chuuyas kinda not rly good with his feelings and expressing himself, drinking (chuuya offering to go out and drink), dazai plays cupid/matchmaker
a/n: when i wrote this i didn't have 15 yo dazai or chuuya in mind (cause of the school au yk) just as them idk but interpret it however you like - high school or college wtv, im so obsessed with chuuya rn y'all don't even know, hope u guys enjoy this little thing i've whipped up in an hour
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you're convinced that chuuya nakahara hates you.
that's one thing you're sure of. after all, he avoids you like the plague; however when the two of you do get in touch with one another, he starts cursing you out, calling you names such as “dumbass" and abruptly leaves.
yeah, you're pretty sure that that guy dislikes - if not despises you. although until now you've hadn’t had the slightest idea why. well, that was the case up until now.
some days have passed since you started noticing it. every time you hung out with dazai and started laughing a bit too loudly at his jokes or lightly slapped his shoulder, chuuya gave you a death stare - if you wouldnt know any better he looked like he’d grab your throat any minute to shut you up.
admittedly (and also embarrassedly) you never really noticed it until dazai has pointed it out. which, on one hand, explains the weird feeling you’ve recently gotten - it felt like someone was shooting daggers at the back of your head, luckily for you, that’s solved now.
but on the other hand, you still demand an explanation why chuuya would do that. is it simply because of his (one-sided) hatred towards you, that can’t be the case right? or did he have a huge crush on dazai, that’s the most realistic explanation that you can think of.
-
once school ended and the bell had just rung to release everyone from their classes and go back home. you’d usually scurry home right away, because there was no point in staying longer, after all who’d want to endure this hell house also known as school more than necessary, it's no use right?
well jokes on you, staying over time was definitely worth it. kunikida assigned you the task (forced) to carry a huge stack of boxes full of documents and paper to your homeroom teacher's room, because it was the “right” thing to do - well at least according to his ideals. 
“but what about dazai? that idiot  just ran off and is probably slacking off right now!” you protested, because it's not fair when everyone has a task to complete and someone else just gets to relax, right? 
at your complaint the blond could only scoff “i’ll scold him later, but for now let's just concentrate on the task in front of us, time is running out.”
-
that’s how you ended up here, back pressed against the heavy classroom door that separated you and the two guys that were inside the room as you tried to listen in into their conversation.
initially your plan was to find dazai, drag him by the collar of his white button up and beat his ass for skipping and leaving you alone with a ton of boxes that not only cost you ten minutes to carry around or so.
because neither kunikida or anyone else didn’t bother to tell you that there were three, fucking three, of those staples of boxes that were filled with countless papers.
however, it came to a change of plans upon hearing chuuyas’ voice. usually, any sound that was made inside of the classrooms was drowned out and barely audible to hear outside the room. 
this time, that didn’t seem to be the case though. chuuyas’ screaming and dazais' hysterical laughter were faint but loud enough to hear from outside the room. 
“come on chuuya, there's no need denying it, you have a massive crush on them.” dazais’ voice was laced with amusement as he started laughing out loud which seemed to piss the redhead off. 
you were able to hear a small huff that escaped dazais mouth. “chuuya, there’s really no need to start getting all violent, just admit that you’re absolutely whipped for them!” the brunette chuckled. “so stop kicking me in the balls!” that probably earned him another kick as you could hear dazai letting out a small “ouch.”
“shut up, shitty dazai.” the guy in question only snickered at that. “yeah, yeah. everyone’s able to tell that you’re madly in love with them. every time you’re around them you start to get beet red, the color even exceeds the one of your hair! a hilarious sight to look at, really.” 
you didn’t hear a response from chuuya and apparently neither did dazai so he just continued his rant. “also, let me tell you one thing, you’re not making it any better by cussing them out or intently staring at them, that’s just scary, man!” dazai closes his eyes and starts shaking his head before tutting in disappointment.
“oh chuuya. the brunette sighs, eyes still closed. “letting a beauty like them slip away this easily by not showing any proper interest. you’re to be pitied, really.” the male moves away from his previous position and bolts over to the door, crossing his arms as his back leans against the door.
an exasperated sigh leaves chuuyas mouth. “what do you expect me to do then? they probably have a horrible impression of me already. if i pull up with a bouquet of roses and some cliché pick up lines, they’d probably stare at me in horror, wondering if i got possessed or something.” he sneers at dazai. 
just who in the world are they talking about?
dazai pretends to think for a moment before snapping his fingers. “well for starters, how about greeting them, doesn’t even have to be verbal, just some waving or nodding. then start hanging out with them!”
“idiot! how's that supposed to work from just greeting each other!” the ginger scowls at dazai.
“hold your horses.” the brunette whistles. “i didn't say to rendez-vous and have a candle-light dinner. how about accepting those group invites first that you keep declining. then you’d have the chance to meet up with them more often and get to know them.”
dazai continues to advise chuuya by giving him tips and recommendations “try bonding over stuff with each other, like favorite shows or food. and if you’re not incapable of doing so, how about complimenting them. wouldn't hurt you know?” dazai shrugs in simplicity. 
chuuyas still skeptical “assumingly that was the case. the two of us attending the same party, they’re alone and i finally get the chance to approach them, what the fuck am i supposed to say?” dazai only smiles at chuuya, a look that says “that’s up to you.” 
“why not use me as your lab rat!” dazai suggests optimistically.
“no way in hell!” chuuya shoots back pessimistically.
after pondering and musing for a while, chuuya comes up with a curt sentence. “i find you really good looking and cool.” the redhead stops and both you and dazai await his continuation in anticipation. “wanna go out and grab drinks sometimes?” chuuya doesn’t look up from the floor which he’s been staring at for the past minute. the tips of his ears tinted in a vermillion red.
“well, that wasn't so hard was it?” dazai asks cheerily, clapping his hands together. “if you still have doubts, how about you try it on the real thing now?” and before you can realize what's going on dazai swiftly steps away from the door before grabbing the door handle and opens the door, revealing your figure to the two guys. 
you’re not sure who's more taken aback, you or chuuya.
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e/n: as y’all can tell the title is inspired by frozen's love is an open door cause y’know dazai opens the door for chuuya to confess his feelings. does this make sense lol??
© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 3 days
Text
cellphone love story — osamu dazai
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*+゚synopsis: recently, someone's been spam calling you to the point that you’re fed and pick up the phone, only to be greeted with someone by the name dazai who has been continuously trying to reach his dead friend. the calls however don't end here, rather, your (call) history with dazai starts to extend - slowly but surely forming a bond over time; the phone.
pairing: dazai x reader (gn) |wordcount: 2.5k (this was my personal hell)  | content & warnings: fluff, mentions of odasaku and very very very small mention of chuuya, more than friends less than lovers at the end (can also be interpreted as lovers, but that's just what i had in mind yall), brief mentions of drinking, light angst if you squint, not proofread its 5 am yall…. ; oneshot
a/n: sorry that i havent posted anything in the past few days (eight days to be exact i think..) i hope this will somehow make it up :,)
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you can't keep count anymore.
this is the third - no, maybe fourth time today the unknown number has called you. at some point they have to realize that they’ve gotten the wrong number, right? 
it all started about one and a half weeks ago when you changed your phone number and received a new one. ever since that day someone has been continuously trying to call you. unfamiliar digits lit up on your screen as you were out with your friend, you ignored them, after all who were you to accept a call from an unknown number?
but, over the course of the evening the calls didn't stop, eerie and annoying ringtone constantly piercing through your ears until the calls took a halt at midnight. relief washing over you.
to your mishap the calls didn't stop there. sometimes they’d wake you up from a peaceful slumber, groggily pinching and rubbing your eyes before swiping the call away. other times your phone would ring at a work meeting where you had to awkwardly excuse yourself and turn off your phone.
admittedly, you're at fault for not blocking the number. all of your friends suggested that you should, reasoning it with the fact that the caller probably has some dirty schemes and motives and that you should just try and not get in touch with weird people like them. 
which brings you to your current predicament, sitting on the couch with your favorite show playing in the background as you text a friend, until a certain but familiar series of digits show up on your phone screen. do they never know when to stop?
your fingers hover over the decline button and then over to the accept button, debating and contemplating if you should decline the call but you don’t. the pads of your fingers press down on the accept button and you wait. 
you’re greeted with silence, what the hell? your patience runs thin, streaming like arid sand grains through an hourglass until they meet the bottom and gather there together with the others. it's been like thirty seconds into the call now, at this point they should've probably said something, at least a quiet hello. an exasperated sigh leaves your mouth and you begin “seriously? you’ve been calling me for the past week now and suddenly i pick up your calls you don’t say shit?” you complain.
“goodbye odasaku.” a sigh leaves the strangers mouth, a man you notice. “i suppose this is my sign to stop grieving and mourning over you.” his voice slightly quivers and the male chuckles sorrowfully. you can’t distinguish if it’s melancholy or relief that lace the bitter words. 
you’re left with confusion, so many unanswered questions lie at the tip of your tongue but you don’t dare to utter a word. “apologies.” he speaks up once again, this time with a steadier voice. “you’re probably confused, my name is osamu dazai.” he politely introduces himself. even though you’re unable to see him and can’t see him nor his expression, your intuition tells you that he’s slightly grinning, that a ghost of a smile graces his lips, although a rather sad one. 
“this phone number belonged to an old friend of mine.” dazai respires. a shaky “odasaku?” you whisper and let out a breath you yourself didn’t know you held in. “yeah, sakunosuke oda.” he hummed smilingly. “he’s gone.” dead, dazai wants to add but he refrains. 
“his voicemail always played when i dialed his number and called.” he whispered. “it was pleasant to hear his voice, knowing that there are still fragments of odasaku out there. he understood me like no other, i miss him.” dazai meekly confessed in a hushed tone. “but those days are over, i suppose it’s for the better.” the male on the other line sighed.
an umpteen amount of words prickle on your tongue, they itch to be released and said, you wanted to say something - anything. but before you’re able to properly gather your words and form a sentence, dazai cuts you off.
“please excuse my intrusions in the past week. have a good rest.” a shrilling sound echoing through your living room symbolizes the end of the call and you’re left dumbfounded.
-
strident noises awake you from your sleep. you toss and turn in your sheets as you mindlessly try to find your phone, rolling over to lay on your side as you find it and tightly clutching it, gripping your phone as you’re greeted with a bright screen and a row of digits. dazais number, you realize.
no, you didn't save his number nor did you memorize in which order the digits were aligned but his phone number's unfamiliar digits have become quite familiar now. you check the time: 0.52 a.m. what was dazai doing at such time and why was he calling you out of all people? especially after he hung up on you a month ago.
“hello?” you groggily yawn. “ah.” a female voice on the other line yelps, she sounds relieved. “are you odasaku by any chance? could you pick up mr. dazai please?” the woman asks in a demure manner. “what’s the situation?” you rub your eyes, trying to stay awake. “well, mr. dazai is intoxicated - he’s drunk and is currently slumped over the counter.” she whispers into the phone. 
“if that doesn’t bother you of course, i can also call someone else!” she hurriedly says. you're slipping out of your sheets to get out of your bed and move towards your hallway, loosely throwing over a thin jacket and checking its pocket if your car keys are in there. “it’s fine, can you tell me the location?” you tiredly ask. “yes of course. it’s bar lupin.” she replies. you check your phone and step outside your door moving towards your car “got it, i’ll be there in 20 minutes or so.” with that you end the call, get inside your car and put your hands on the steering wheel.
-
carefully you take a step inside the narrow bar, taking off your hood and immediately spotting dazai whose head was currently laying on the surface of the front bar. he was poking at his glass of whiskey, the ball of ice being almost fully melted. “dazai.” you call out. he turns around, hazel eyes meeting yours. 
only then can you admire dazai for the first time. his dark brown is tousled and unkempt but it continues to gleam in the orange light. his arms are wrapped in bandages and there's a long beige, almost khaki, coat draped over his body. you can’t help but think that he’s kind of pretty.
“what are you doing here?” dazai asks in a fatigued tone. you show him your car keys and wag them in the air “here to pick you up.” you reply nonchalantly. “why?” his question is barely above a whisper. 
why are you helping him? he doesn’t understand - he wishes to understand. the first impression you’ve received from dazai was when he was calling you non stop and now your second impression is him slumped over bar lupins front bar. dazai can’t tell if you’re just naive or really trying to be helpful out of politeness or rather out of kindness. 
a certain kindness he’s only ever received from odasaku. helping someone like him out of kindness with no hidden intentions, offering a helping hand, smiling with utmost fondness. 
“as if im leaving a somewhat nice drunkard alone. i’m not inhumane.” even though your answers are full of nonchalance, dazai can make out a certain sincerity that lies in your words. 
his eyes can only follow as you tilt your head towards the door. “let's get you back home.” you gently smile. 
-
dazai wakes up to the sound of  birds chirping and sizzling oil. he’s warm, a soft blanket covering his body only then dazai realizes that this isn’t his bed, that he’s not lying in his futon. he looks around before his gaze lands on the bedside table which had a glass of water atop it, marked with a little sticky note that said “drink this, you’ll feel much better and come find me in the kitchen :)” 
he can’t recall everything that happened yesterday, it all went past him like a blur the only thing he remembered was that you came to pick him up. dazai grabbed the glass and gulped it down in one go, some of its content seeping down his chin and wiping it away with his sleeve before sliding out of the bed with the glass in his hand to return it to you.
finding your kitchen wasn’t hard, it was located right next to the dining room where a variety of dishes were placed on the dining table. dazai enters the kitchen, without you noticing and sees you whisking up two eggs with a pair of chopsticks before speaking up “here.” dazai coughs and places the glass on the counter near the sink to express his gratitude. 
“oh, it’s no problem.” you shoot him a small smile. your hand reaches over to the salt and pepper  to season the eggs with before carefully putting the egg mixture into the hot greased pan. admittedly dazai feels a bit out of place - useless (when was he ever not) so he offers to wash your dishes which you happily agreed to. 
besides the sound of sizzling fat and water running down the faucet, it's quiet in your kitchen. “how’d she know whom to call?”  you’re the first to speak up, eyes still concentrated on frying the eggs as you hum a small melody.
“the bartendress?” dazai asks in response. 
“yeah.” 
“well, odasaku’s number, which is your number now, is one of my emergency contacts, i suppose she just called you first.” dazai shrugs his shoulders, his hands still focused on rubbing away the dirty spots on your plates. 
“i see.” 
“if the old man, my favourite bartender by the way." dazai winks. "if he would’ve been here he would’ve called slug.” dazai lets out a small laugh, probably the most sincere laugh he let out in the past few weeks.
“slug” you ask, soft voice laced with confusion.
“an old friend of mine.” dazai smiles sadly. “odasaku and him are both my emergency contacts.” he chuckles. 
dazai doesn’t talk about the topic much further and neither do you, assuming it’s a sensitive topic for him. “i’m done, how about you?” you look over to dazai who’s currently washing his hands off with lavender soap. “mhm, me too.” he hums in agreement at which you can smile at.
dazais eyes trail after you as you leave the kitchen and move to the dining room, setting down all the plates and pouring two glasses of water. “sit down and eat up.” your eyes sway from his eyes over to the chairs. only then does dazai notice that his beige coat is neatly folded on one of your dining chairs. it makes his heart jump lightly. 
he sits down and takes a sip out of his glass, waiting until you start to eat first before he gets to. he smiles contently as you happily chew on your food. “does it taste good?” he cringes at himself when he realizes just how awkward that question is, he feels like a teenager again that was always wary of what people thought of him. 
“it tastes amazing! wanna try?” you slide the plate over to dazai, offering him to take a piece. “sure.” he agrees before taking a small bite. you weren’t lying when you said that it tasted amazing. “you're right, it tastes so good.” dazai says ecstatically. “told you so! my cooking is not to be underestimated.” you laugh and dazai can’t help but laugh too which makes him cough uncontrollably, putting a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t spit out anything on your table cloth but continuing to laugh.
“oh god dazai, are you okay?” you rush over to his aid and put your hand over his back to slide over it, hoping that it’ll somehow soothe his coughing. dazai manages to muffle out a “i’m fine, really.” between his coughs and laughs which you can only sigh at but can’t help the smile that finds its way onto your face and plasters itself on your lips.
-
calls with dazai have become more frequent now, although he sometimes still remains a mystery to you, it feels like he’s grown quite comfortable around you. 
he told you more about himself (vice versa), talks about his work at the armed detective agency and sends you recipes the both of you could recreate. not only calls with him became more frequent but also visits. 
at least four out of seven times a week dazai rushes to your place after work (you should probably call it your shared home now due to dazai leaving his stuff at your place like scattered objects on the floor).
for example, today: dazai walks into your kitchen like he owns the place. he sets down his belongings onto your couch before stepping towards the kitchen where he already finds you chopping the vegetables for the curry. 
he notices that you’re on the verge of tearing up as you continuously chop the onions into small bits and grabs a tissue before sneaking up behind you and scaring you. “boo.” his mouth forms a little “o” and you slightly jump before setting the knife down and putting your hand over your heart. “you scared me!” you complain even though dazai can see the playful glint in your eyes.
“sorry, sorry.” he laughs before wiping away the small droplets of tears that managed to escape your eyes. 
his calloused hands brush over your soft skin, it’s intimate - romantic even. you softly sigh against the tissue, the object that separates the two of you. the action makes your face lightly heat up and you’re sure that dazai noticed it too from the way he’s smirking. 
“aw, was i able to fluster you?” he coos at you smilingly, which in response you can only huff at, eyeing him with a look that says “you already know the answer.” before turning around to continue where you left off.
in the meantime dazai pulls out another cutting board and starts to chop the carrots. it’s quiet, it’s always quiet when the two of you cook together, but neither you nor dazai mind. the smell of aromatics that nip and continue to linger in the air and the sound of your jazz playlist which sometimes gets outplayed by the sounds of cutting or frying food, are more than enough. it’s just like the first time the two of you shared this space together, a certain nostalgia suddenly washing over him.
“thank you” he whispers, barely loud enough to not get overplayed by the music playing in the background. 
“for what?” you ask, longing for an answer.
for the times you’ve picked me up at bar lupin, for the times you’ve cooked me warm meals, for the times when you took care of me. 
“for everything.”
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this is dedicated to my odasaku person @azullumi (don't die pls i need u and ur fics HHDDISISISIS). you've always told me that you liked odasaku a lot and that some day you also want to open up an orphanage which i find really endearing. what i mean by "you're my odasaku person" is not "wow we're literally so odasaku and dazai coded" but no rather it's because you also play such a major role in my life (not just cause of the age gap between oda and dazai and u and me..). you're always there when i need you, you're always there when i needed you and i hope that you'll always be there when i need you. but the same thing goes vice versa; goes for me. azul you're someone whom i've randomly met and if i never made that one comment or sent that one ask or if you never sent that one dm i would've never written this. you're someone who reassures me and soothes my worries with simple words, when i'm feeling down you're the person i turn to because you're the only person who really understands and somehow relates and thus i'm always able to trust and follow your judgement and advice. i never feel judged or belittled by you or treated as someone whose only an immature kid, no you treat me as a normal person, like a friend. which makes me feel seen - acknowledged even. to be loved is to be seen. i could go hours when it comes about talking to you and what impact you have on my life, but i suppose that's for another end note dsjsdsuusus. you're so dear to me. i love you a lot azul <3
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© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 3 days
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ANG BEER NA 'TO O ANG PAG-IBIG MO?
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synopsis: taking care hsr men when they’re drunk ft. hsr men
pairing: aventurine, sunday, veritas ratio x reader (separate) | wc: 1.2k | content & warnings: fluff, mentions of alcohol and drinking/being under the influence , mentions of bathing together (veritas part) ; headcanon + drabble
tags: this is dedicated to my beloved filipino alcohol addict, who else if not @azullumi?? (istg one day you're gonna get an alcohol poisoning if you continue to drink) note to azul will follow at the very bottom as always <3
a/n: ang beer na 'to o ang pag-ibig mo? -> is it beer or your love? (im not even filipino but vietnamese..oh well..)
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SUNDAY
talks a lot.
much different from his usual demeanor
really talkative 
he babbles, rambles and chatters your ears off
“did you know that me and robin used to take care of a charmony dove?” he asks.
“yes, yes i do. you’ve told me thrice in the past 30 minutes.” you sigh. 
“oh.” his mouth forms a small “o” before speaking up again. “well did you know that-”
“that you still have to make some preparations for the upcoming charmony festival?” you interrupt him and finish his sentence.
“how’d you know?” you can’t make out if it’s amazement or curiosity in his words. “well, a little birdie told me that not too long ago.” 
“my bird?” he asks. 
“..yeah, totally..” you hum.
AND really touchy which is unusual
sunday reaches forward to push the loose strands of your hair away from your forehead. “sunday what are you-” before you’re able to finish your question he presses his chapped lips against your forehead, placing a tender kiss on it. 
before going down and peppering kisses along your jawline until his lips reach your collarbone. “stop that tickles!” you giggle and try to push him away to no use - it was pointless. it was like he was glued to your side.
his bony fingers find your hand and laces them together before softly squeezing them, eyes never leaving your face as he studies your expression.
he keeps eulogizing and complimenting you
“have i ever told you how pretty you are?” he takes a small bundle of your hair into his hand, before slowly caressing it with his thumb and index finger as he awaits your response.
upon that you can’t help but smile. the corners of your lips quirk up and you grin like a teenager who spots their crush exiting the classroom after intentionally switching routes just to see them.
“you do, but not as openly and often.” you say in response he can only gasp in surprise. “really?” “really!” you laugh.
(he then proceeds to write a sticky note for his future sober self to compliment you more.)
only shuts up when you kiss him. 
you lean forward to press a chaste kiss on his lips, it’s a fleeting moment and the kiss doesn’t last as long as sunday wishes it would. it’s too short for his liking, granting him no chance to reciprocate the action. 
“shut up, loverboy. let’s get you back home.” you beam at him with a smile brighter than both the moon and stars. your eyes are pools of love, an intoxicating essence sunday would gladly drown in. (not like he already hasn’t.) 
in return he shoots you a lovesick smile which makes you melt.
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AVENTURINE
unusually quiet until you talk to him and he pours out his heart
this is weird.
normally aventurine is the talkative one among the two of you but it seems like the tables have turned. there’s nothing but the sound of the wind blowing through the night and you cringe at the silence. 
“‘rine are you okay?” you attempt to ask, hoping that he’d at least respond with a hum.
““you still like me, right?” he whispers. his answer was so quiet that you almost didn’t hear it but it did catch you off guard.
 “what?” you ask confusedly, almost in disbelief.
“what.” 
when you drape his arm over your shoulder to help him walk he’s slightly tripping and keeps apologizing 
unlike sunday who’s the one reassuring you, aventurine is the one who constantly seeks reassurance from you
and not even indirectly, yeah no, directly
“m’sorry that you have to take care of me. you can tell me if it’s bothersome.” he says in an apologetic tone and you try your best to reassure him. “no, really it’s alright!” you stop your movements to take a quick breather.
aventurines quick to react and extracts his arm from your shoulder and tries to stand steady on his two feet. (miserably failing) “am i too heavy? sorry.” he apologizes, not being able to stand still.
“not at all!” you smile. “i just had to take a quick break but let’s continue.” you reach out your hand for him to grab on and as soon as he places his palm on yours you hold on tightly. 
“also, aventurine, you don’t have to keep apologizing.” you say empathetically. 
“sorry.”
aventurine is someone who has only had himself for a very long time and he himself was the one who helped him overcome many obstacles in his life with no one else at his side so try to reassure him as much as possible to let him know that he’s not alone
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VERITAS RATIO
the type who only gets drunk when it’s a party hosted by the company or anything regarding his researches to indulge in the fun and celebrate the process
later on only babbles about some of his discoveries 
the others eventually get tired but try to look interested, veritas, like the attentive person he is, notices and complains about how you’d listen
you’re leaving the bathroom and come back with 9 new messages from topaz and 7 ones from aventurine begging you to pick up veritas. 
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as you enter the party you immediately spot him near the bar, crowded by some employees and topaz and aventurine who look like they’re done. 
you step over to the bar and greet the both of them. “hi, i’m here to pick up veritas.” you smile. “that sounds like you’re picking him from kindergarten.” topaz laughs. “but yeah he’s all yours now.” she says as she clinks her glass against aventurines, as if she were to celebrate a victory.
you move towards veritas and tap him on the shoulder, the action makes him turn around and raise an eyebrow in confusion. “sorry, what business do i have with you?” he asks at which you can only laugh at. “veri, i’m here to pick you up.” you smile.
“my partner wouldn’t like you addressing me with a nickname that they exclusively chose for me.” he says politely. “ah and could you please not hold onto my hand, i doubt that they’d like that either.”
“veritas, i am your partner.”
he's not the one who’s touchy he wants you to be touchy
trace shapes against his back, bury your head into the crook of his neck and leave kisses, ruffle his hair and so on (especially when taking a bath!!)
“so what shape was that?” you ask in excitement after you drew a tree onto his back with your wet fingers. 
“π” he responds. (it sounds more like a question than an answer from the way he responded.)
at that you can only laugh. “close, it was a tree!” you lean down and bury your head against his neck, his back now facing your chest as you smile down at his skin and smear kisses along the crook of his neck thus making your lips covered in shower gel now. 
you remove your mouth from his skin and start to massage his back slowly and tenderly, making his tense muscles relax before moving your hands to his head, ruffling through his hair and softly massaging his scalp before coming to a halt.
“why’d you stop?” his eyelashes flutter as he opens his eyes and turns around to face you.
“ah, well you didn’t say anything so i thought you didn’t like it. so i stopped.” you answer apologetically. 
“did i tell you to stop?” he raises his eyebrow. “i suppose no..” you reply. 
“well then continue, please.”
he trusts you enough to bathe with him and especially when being drunk
knows that you won’t just leave him be and actually care for him and tend to his needs 
shower him with much affection and great care!!
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okay tending to the most special guest now!! @azullumi ladies and gents, non binaries and the others whatever you identify yourself with, make way for user azullumi!! if you think your 4 month situationship who had a gf all along responds slowly TALK TO AZUL. HE NEVER RESPONDS TO MY TIKTOKS AND OMG EVEN WORSE I REPLY TO THE ONES HE SENDS ME AND THEY DON'T EVEN RESPOND TO MY MESSAGES BUT PROCEED TO SEND ME ANOTHER TIKTOK??? THE AUDACITY HELLO??? anyway i hope this reaches you in good spirits?? is that how you say that?!?!?! i like this song a lot i think the first time i've heard it was in a kaeya (genshin) edit LMFAO and it's been one of my fav songs ever since. beer, love and filipino put that in a pot and your receive azul. but azul azul i love love love you a lot. it's always fun talking to you and sharing my ideas. knowing that i have you by my side is always so reassuring for me to know. someone who's proud of me and my achievements, someone who's willing to listen me out, someone who actually has great advice which is helpful. thank you, thank you. i'm so blessed to have you. you're probably the best thing that has happened to me in the past few months. (and that one A- i got from my strict history teacher 😍😍)
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e/n: not toooooo sure how to feel about this cause i wrote this for funsies but yeah! also rbs (with comments) are as always greatly appreciated. (i read through each of them). kisses to yall!!
© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 3 days
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you could have anyone you want - aventurine
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synopsis: sometimes you can't help but wonder why aventurine chose you, out of all people, as his lover. 
pairing: aventurine x reader | fluff with vv light angst, hurt/comfort, mention of habits such as peeling of skin and biting your nails | wc: 674 ; drabble
a/n: i feel like this is a bit choppy, sorry in advance </3
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“aventurine, why’d you choose me as your lover?” 
you glance over to where aventurine currently is. his right arm is loosely draped over the back of the velvety arm chair as he swipes through his inbox, archiving old mails and then tending to the newly received ones before shooting you a look of concern. 
“how’d you think of that now?” he laughs quietly and the corners of his mouth slightly quirk up at your question. did he not make it obvious enough, that you’re the only one for him? the thought makes him flinch, if there is one thing aventurine would never want it’s you feeling unworthy.
“and.” he hesitates. his breath is slightly ragged, as he starts to pick at the skin of his digits on his left hand - a habit he does when he’s nervous. the loose skin bothers him, he wants to rip it off fiercely. it hurts, but what hurts more, is seeing you anxious - it makes his heart ache.
he gulps before reluctantly elaborating. “is it bothering you?” his words are draped in utter solicitude and his eyebrows are furrowed as he bites the insides of his lips firmly while studying your face for any signs of uncertainty. “like profoundly bothering you?” he asks softly.
the insides of his lips are bleeding and he can feel the bitter taste of iron seeping into his mouth. the thin layer of skin above his finely trimmed nails is gone, he peeled it off. he no longer needs to bite his nails though, neither when he was nervous or in times of need, when he was starving. it’s impolite and viewed as disgusting. (he can still remember the earthy and foul taste of dirt that was covered beneath the nail beds - somewhat nostalgic; somewhat awful.) 
but does it really matter when it comes to you? (has any pain ever mattered when it came to you?” - no.”)
“no, it's just curiosity.” you lie through gritted teeth as you try to maintain a somewhat felicitous expression, forcing an awkward smile that falters at the corner of your mouth, onto your face.
“there’s nothing that i detest more than lying. you know that.” he reminds you bitterly. (lies are unfulfilled promises, vows that weren’t ever kept, empty words.) he gets up to where you’re at, comfortably lying your back against the headboard and softly stroking one of the critters the two of you recently adopted. the small critter only purrs in response to your tender touches, nestling against your body as you continue to pet it.
the mattress slightly dips as aventurine sets his hand, followed by his body, down. “please, tell me what’s wrong.” he pleads as he holds out his hand, placing it near your hand, not going further than touching your fingertips. (he’ll let you decide if you want to hold onto his hand - if you give him permission to touch your delicate body.)
don't lie to me, please.
“aventurine it’s just that.” your voice slightly breaks. “it’s just that i don’t feel worthy of being your love - worthy of your love and adoration, in general.” you admit in a hushed tone as you slowly snake your hand towards his, intertwining the two of them. instantly, almost by habit aventurine quickly laces your fingers together, tightly entwining your hand with his.  
“what makes you think that?” belittling or invalidating your feelings is the least he’d want to do, so he carefully squeezed your hand, not once or twice but thrice. it’s become a small pattern the both of you do when the other is nervous, telling them that they’re here. it’s a sign of reassurance.
“you could have anyone you want.” your admission is no louder than a whisper and aventurine needs to make sure that he’s not hearing the wrong things. 
him being able to have his way with anyone he’d want? isn’t it quite the contrary? you’re everything aventurine isn’t, everything he admires in a person - everything he’d wish to be.
“that's funny. i’ve always thought the same about you.” 
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azul azul AZUL!!!! @azullumi something dedicated to (y)our lovely honey blonde uhm guy!! yeah... haha... ANYWAY. in the past month you've helped me a lot in my writing but also like mental/developing journey as a teenager. the words you tell me, the experiences you recall (like you being in the hospital - LIKE WHAT), the warm vibe you give off - they make me feel at ease, they make me feel seen and understood, they make me smile. i think i often tell you (in those notes) the same things, but they're utmost important for me to mention because i just want you to know how special you're to me and not just your words. you, yourself are very special to me. i'm very very fond of you, just so you know. i often think to myself "oh azul would like this." "azul would laugh so hard at this." etc. but i also often think about you and your words, i get so happy when i see your messages popping up on my screen i try to answer them asap because who knows when you'll be gone?!??! (NOT IN A DEAD KIND OF SENSE BUT OMFG MAKE UR DISCORD STATUS ON, STOP BEING ON INVISIBLE.) i often recall your words and the advice you give me, it makes me smile but another thing that also makes me smile is your smile. i'm pretty sure i've already told you this once but your smile is so bright, so bright it rivals the rays of sunshine that light upon us. perhaps you're my sun, my blessing that came along the way and makes the cold and hard days easier for me. melting the snow that hid me from the many things unbeknownst to me and revealing yourself to me. just you. whom else do i need? /j/lh. i love you a lot user azullumi <3
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© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 5 days
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cellphone love story — osamu dazai
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*+゚synopsis: recently, someone's been spam calling you to the point that you’re fed and pick up the phone, only to be greeted with someone by the name dazai who has been continuously trying to reach his dead friend. the calls however don't end here, rather, your (call) history with dazai starts to extend - slowly but surely forming a bond over time; the phone.
pairing: dazai x reader (gn) |wordcount: 2.5k (this was my personal hell)  | content & warnings: fluff, mentions of odasaku and very very very small mention of chuuya, more than friends less than lovers at the end (can also be interpreted as lovers, but that's just what i had in mind yall), brief mentions of drinking, light angst if you squint, not proofread its 5 am yall…. ; oneshot
a/n: sorry that i havent posted anything in the past few days (eight days to be exact i think..) i hope this will somehow make it up :,)
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you can't keep count anymore.
this is the third - no, maybe fourth time today the unknown number has called you. at some point they have to realize that they’ve gotten the wrong number, right? 
it all started about one and a half weeks ago when you changed your phone number and received a new one. ever since that day someone has been continuously trying to call you. unfamiliar digits lit up on your screen as you were out with your friend, you ignored them, after all who were you to accept a call from an unknown number?
but, over the course of the evening the calls didn't stop, eerie and annoying ringtone constantly piercing through your ears until the calls took a halt at midnight. relief washing over you.
to your mishap the calls didn't stop there. sometimes they’d wake you up from a peaceful slumber, groggily pinching and rubbing your eyes before swiping the call away. other times your phone would ring at a work meeting where you had to awkwardly excuse yourself and turn off your phone.
admittedly, you're at fault for not blocking the number. all of your friends suggested that you should, reasoning it with the fact that the caller probably has some dirty schemes and motives and that you should just try and not get in touch with weird people like them. 
which brings you to your current predicament, sitting on the couch with your favorite show playing in the background as you text a friend, until a certain but familiar series of digits show up on your phone screen. do they never know when to stop?
your fingers hover over the decline button and then over to the accept button, debating and contemplating if you should decline the call but you don’t. the pads of your fingers press down on the accept button and you wait. 
you’re greeted with silence, what the hell? your patience runs thin, streaming like arid sand grains through an hourglass until they meet the bottom and gather there together with the others. it's been like thirty seconds into the call now, at this point they should've probably said something, at least a quiet hello. an exasperated sigh leaves your mouth and you begin “seriously? you’ve been calling me for the past week now and suddenly i pick up your calls you don’t say shit?” you complain.
“goodbye odasaku.” a sigh leaves the strangers mouth, a man you notice. “i suppose this is my sign to stop grieving and mourning over you.” his voice slightly quivers and the male chuckles sorrowfully. you can’t distinguish if it’s melancholy or relief that lace the bitter words. 
you’re left with confusion, so many unanswered questions lie at the tip of your tongue but you don’t dare to utter a word. “apologies.” he speaks up once again, this time with a steadier voice. “you’re probably confused, my name is osamu dazai.” he politely introduces himself. even though you’re unable to see him and can’t see him nor his expression, your intuition tells you that he’s slightly grinning, that a ghost of a smile graces his lips, although a rather sad one. 
“this phone number belonged to an old friend of mine.” dazai respires. a shaky “odasaku?” you whisper and let out a breath you yourself didn’t know you held in. “yeah, sakunosuke oda.” he hummed smilingly. “he’s gone.” dead, dazai wants to add but he refrains. 
“his voicemail always played when i dialed his number and called.” he whispered. “it was pleasant to hear his voice, knowing that there are still fragments of odasaku out there. he understood me like no other, i miss him.” dazai meekly confessed in a hushed tone. “but those days are over, i suppose it’s for the better.” the male on the other line sighed.
an umpteen amount of words prickle on your tongue, they itch to be released and said, you wanted to say something - anything. but before you’re able to properly gather your words and form a sentence, dazai cuts you off.
“please excuse my intrusions in the past week. have a good rest.” a shrilling sound echoing through your living room symbolizes the end of the call and you’re left dumbfounded.
-
strident noises awake you from your sleep. you toss and turn in your sheets as you mindlessly try to find your phone, rolling over to lay on your side as you find it and tightly clutching it, gripping your phone as you’re greeted with a bright screen and a row of digits. dazais number, you realize.
no, you didn't save his number nor did you memorize in which order the digits were aligned but his phone number's unfamiliar digits have become quite familiar now. you check the time: 0.52 a.m. what was dazai doing at such time and why was he calling you out of all people? especially after he hung up on you a month ago.
“hello?” you groggily yawn. “ah.” a female voice on the other line yelps, she sounds relieved. “are you odasaku by any chance? could you pick up mr. dazai please?” the woman asks in a demure manner. “what’s the situation?” you rub your eyes, trying to stay awake. “well, mr. dazai is intoxicated - he’s drunk and is currently slumped over the counter.” she whispers into the phone. 
“if that doesn’t bother you of course, i can also call someone else!” she hurriedly says. you're slipping out of your sheets to get out of your bed and move towards your hallway, loosely throwing over a thin jacket and checking its pocket if your car keys are in there. “it’s fine, can you tell me the location?” you tiredly ask. “yes of course. it’s bar lupin.” she replies. you check your phone and step outside your door moving towards your car “got it, i’ll be there in 20 minutes or so.” with that you end the call, get inside your car and put your hands on the steering wheel.
-
carefully you take a step inside the narrow bar, taking off your hood and immediately spotting dazai whose head was currently laying on the surface of the front bar. he was poking at his glass of whiskey, the ball of ice being almost fully melted. “dazai.” you call out. he turns around, hazel eyes meeting yours. 
only then can you admire dazai for the first time. his dark brown is tousled and unkempt but it continues to gleam in the orange light. his arms are wrapped in bandages and there's a long beige, almost khaki, coat draped over his body. you can’t help but think that he’s kind of pretty.
“what are you doing here?” dazai asks in a fatigued tone. you show him your car keys and wag them in the air “here to pick you up.” you reply nonchalantly. “why?” his question is barely above a whisper. 
why are you helping him? he doesn’t understand - he wishes to understand. the first impression you’ve received from dazai was when he was calling you non stop and now your second impression is him slumped over bar lupins front bar. dazai can’t tell if you’re just naive or really trying to be helpful out of politeness or rather out of kindness. 
a certain kindness he’s only ever received from odasaku. helping someone like him out of kindness with no hidden intentions, offering a helping hand, smiling with utmost fondness. 
“as if im leaving a somewhat nice drunkard alone. i’m not inhumane.” even though your answers are full of nonchalance, dazai can make out a certain sincerity that lies in your words. 
his eyes can only follow as you tilt your head towards the door. “let's get you back home.” you gently smile. 
-
dazai wakes up to the sound of  birds chirping and sizzling oil. he’s warm, a soft blanket covering his body only then dazai realizes that this isn’t his bed, that he’s not lying in his futon. he looks around before his gaze lands on the bedside table which had a glass of water atop it, marked with a little sticky note that said “drink this, you’ll feel much better and come find me in the kitchen :)” 
he can’t recall everything that happened yesterday, it all went past him like a blur the only thing he remembered was that you came to pick him up. dazai grabbed the glass and gulped it down in one go, some of its content seeping down his chin and wiping it away with his sleeve before sliding out of the bed with the glass in his hand to return it to you.
finding your kitchen wasn’t hard, it was located right next to the dining room where a variety of dishes were placed on the dining table. dazai enters the kitchen, without you noticing and sees you whisking up two eggs with a pair of chopsticks before speaking up “here.” dazai coughs and places the glass on the counter near the sink to express his gratitude. 
“oh, it’s no problem.” you shoot him a small smile. your hand reaches over to the salt and pepper  to season the eggs with before carefully putting the egg mixture into the hot greased pan. admittedly dazai feels a bit out of place - useless (when was he ever not) so he offers to wash your dishes which you happily agreed to. 
besides the sound of sizzling fat and water running down the faucet, it's quiet in your kitchen. “how’d she know whom to call?”  you’re the first to speak up, eyes still concentrated on frying the eggs as you hum a small melody.
“the bartendress?” dazai asks in response. 
“yeah.” 
“well, odasaku’s number, which is your number now, is one of my emergency contacts, i suppose she just called you first.” dazai shrugs his shoulders, his hands still focused on rubbing away the dirty spots on your plates. 
“i see.” 
“if the old man, my favourite bartender by the way." dazai winks. "if he would’ve been here he would’ve called slug.” dazai lets out a small laugh, probably the most sincere laugh he let out in the past few weeks.
“slug” you ask, soft voice laced with confusion.
“an old friend of mine.” dazai smiles sadly. “odasaku and him are both my emergency contacts.” he chuckles. 
dazai doesn’t talk about the topic much further and neither do you, assuming it’s a sensitive topic for him. “i’m done, how about you?” you look over to dazai who’s currently washing his hands off with lavender soap. “mhm, me too.” he hums in agreement at which you can smile at.
dazais eyes trail after you as you leave the kitchen and move to the dining room, setting down all the plates and pouring two glasses of water. “sit down and eat up.” your eyes sway from his eyes over to the chairs. only then does dazai notice that his beige coat is neatly folded on one of your dining chairs. it makes his heart jump lightly. 
he sits down and takes a sip out of his glass, waiting until you start to eat first before he gets to. he smiles contently as you happily chew on your food. “does it taste good?” he cringes at himself when he realizes just how awkward that question is, he feels like a teenager again that was always wary of what people thought of him. 
“it tastes amazing! wanna try?” you slide the plate over to dazai, offering him to take a piece. “sure.” he agrees before taking a small bite. you weren’t lying when you said that it tasted amazing. “you're right, it tastes so good.” dazai says ecstatically. “told you so! my cooking is not to be underestimated.” you laugh and dazai can’t help but laugh too which makes him cough uncontrollably, putting a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t spit out anything on your table cloth but continuing to laugh.
“oh god dazai, are you okay?” you rush over to his aid and put your hand over his back to slide over it, hoping that it’ll somehow soothe his coughing. dazai manages to muffle out a “i’m fine, really.” between his coughs and laughs which you can only sigh at but can’t help the smile that finds its way onto your face and plasters itself on your lips.
-
calls with dazai have become more frequent now, although he sometimes still remains a mystery to you, it feels like he’s grown quite comfortable around you. 
he told you more about himself (vice versa), talks about his work at the armed detective agency and sends you recipes the both of you could recreate. not only calls with him became more frequent but also visits. 
at least four out of seven times a week dazai rushes to your place after work (you should probably call it your shared home now due to dazai leaving his stuff at your place like scattered objects on the floor).
for example, today: dazai walks into your kitchen like he owns the place. he sets down his belongings onto your couch before stepping towards the kitchen where he already finds you chopping the vegetables for the curry. 
he notices that you’re on the verge of tearing up as you continuously chop the onions into small bits and grabs a tissue before sneaking up behind you and scaring you. “boo.” his mouth forms a little “o” and you slightly jump before setting the knife down and putting your hand over your heart. “you scared me!” you complain even though dazai can see the playful glint in your eyes.
“sorry, sorry.” he laughs before wiping away the small droplets of tears that managed to escape your eyes. 
his calloused hands brush over your soft skin, it’s intimate - romantic even. you softly sigh against the tissue, the object that separates the two of you. the action makes your face lightly heat up and you’re sure that dazai noticed it too from the way he’s smirking. 
“aw, was i able to fluster you?” he coos at you smilingly, which in response you can only huff at, eyeing him with a look that says “you already know the answer.” before turning around to continue where you left off.
in the meantime dazai pulls out another cutting board and starts to chop the carrots. it’s quiet, it’s always quiet when the two of you cook together, but neither you nor dazai mind. the smell of aromatics that nip and continue to linger in the air and the sound of your jazz playlist which sometimes gets outplayed by the sounds of cutting or frying food, are more than enough. it’s just like the first time the two of you shared this space together, a certain nostalgia suddenly washing over him.
“thank you” he whispers, barely loud enough to not get overplayed by the music playing in the background. 
“for what?” you ask, longing for an answer.
for the times you’ve picked me up at bar lupin, for the times you’ve cooked me warm meals, for the times when you took care of me. 
“for everything.”
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this is dedicated to my odasaku person @azullumi (don't die pls i need u and ur fics HHDDISISISIS). you've always told me that you liked odasaku a lot and that some day you also want to open up an orphanage which i find really endearing. what i mean by "you're my odasaku person" is not "wow we're literally so odasaku and dazai coded" but no rather it's because you also play such a major role in my life (not just cause of the age gap between oda and dazai and u and me..). you're always there when i need you, you're always there when i needed you and i hope that you'll always be there when i need you. but the same thing goes vice versa; goes for me. azul you're someone whom i've randomly met and if i never made that one comment or sent that one ask or if you never sent that one dm i would've never written this. you're someone who reassures me and soothes my worries with simple words, when i'm feeling down you're the person i turn to because you're the only person who really understands and somehow relates and thus i'm always able to trust and follow your judgement and advice. i never feel judged or belittled by you or treated as someone whose only an immature kid, no you treat me as a normal person, like a friend. which makes me feel seen - acknowledged even. to be loved is to be seen. i could go hours when it comes about talking to you and what impact you have on my life, but i suppose that's for another end note dsjsdsuusus. you're so dear to me. i love you a lot azul <3
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© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 6 days
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you could have anyone you want - aventurine
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synopsis: sometimes you can't help but wonder why aventurine chose you, out of all people, as his lover. 
pairing: aventurine x reader | fluff with vv light angst, hurt/comfort, mention of habits such as peeling of skin and biting your nails | wc: 674 ; drabble
a/n: i feel like this is a bit choppy, sorry in advance </3
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“aventurine, why’d you choose me as your lover?” 
you glance over to where aventurine currently is. his right arm is loosely draped over the back of the velvety arm chair as he swipes through his inbox, archiving old mails and then tending to the newly received ones before shooting you a look of concern. 
��how’d you think of that now?” he laughs quietly and the corners of his mouth slightly quirk up at your question. did he not make it obvious enough, that you’re the only one for him? the thought makes him flinch, if there is one thing aventurine would never want it’s you feeling unworthy.
“and.” he hesitates. his breath is slightly ragged, as he starts to pick at the skin of his digits on his left hand - a habit he does when he’s nervous. the loose skin bothers him, he wants to rip it off fiercely. it hurts, but what hurts more, is seeing you anxious - it makes his heart ache.
he gulps before reluctantly elaborating. “is it bothering you?” his words are draped in utter solicitude and his eyebrows are furrowed as he bites the insides of his lips firmly while studying your face for any signs of uncertainty. “like profoundly bothering you?” he asks softly.
the insides of his lips are bleeding and he can feel the bitter taste of iron seeping into his mouth. the thin layer of skin above his finely trimmed nails is gone, he peeled it off. he no longer needs to bite his nails though, neither when he was nervous or in times of need, when he was starving. it’s impolite and viewed as disgusting. (he can still remember the earthy and foul taste of dirt that was covered beneath the nail beds - somewhat nostalgic; somewhat awful.) 
but does it really matter when it comes to you? (has any pain ever mattered when it came to you?” - no.”)
“no, it's just curiosity.” you lie through gritted teeth as you try to maintain a somewhat felicitous expression, forcing an awkward smile that falters at the corner of your mouth, onto your face.
“there’s nothing that i detest more than lying. you know that.” he reminds you bitterly. (lies are unfulfilled promises, vows that weren’t ever kept, empty words.) he gets up to where you’re at, comfortably lying your back against the headboard and softly stroking one of the critters the two of you recently adopted. the small critter only purrs in response to your tender touches, nestling against your body as you continue to pet it.
the mattress slightly dips as aventurine sets his hand, followed by his body, down. “please, tell me what’s wrong.” he pleads as he holds out his hand, placing it near your hand, not going further than touching your fingertips. (he’ll let you decide if you want to hold onto his hand - if you give him permission to touch your delicate body.)
don't lie to me, please.
“aventurine it’s just that.” your voice slightly breaks. “it’s just that i don’t feel worthy of being your love - worthy of your love and adoration, in general.” you admit in a hushed tone as you slowly snake your hand towards his, intertwining the two of them. instantly, almost by habit aventurine quickly laces your fingers together, tightly entwining your hand with his.  
“what makes you think that?” belittling or invalidating your feelings is the least he’d want to do, so he carefully squeezed your hand, not once or twice but thrice. it’s become a small pattern the both of you do when the other is nervous, telling them that they’re here. it’s a sign of reassurance.
“you could have anyone you want.” your admission is no louder than a whisper and aventurine needs to make sure that he’s not hearing the wrong things. 
him being able to have his way with anyone he’d want? isn’t it quite the contrary? you’re everything aventurine isn’t, everything he admires in a person - everything he’d wish to be.
“that's funny. i’ve always thought the same about you.” 
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azul azul AZUL!!!! @azullumi something dedicated to (y)our lovely honey blonde uhm guy!! yeah... haha... ANYWAY. in the past month you've helped me a lot in my writing but also like mental/developing journey as a teenager. the words you tell me, the experiences you recall (like you being in the hospital - LIKE WHAT), the warm vibe you give off - they make me feel at ease, they make me feel seen and understood, they make me smile. i think i often tell you (in those notes) the same things, but they're utmost important for me to mention because i just want you to know how special you're to me and not just your words. you, yourself are very special to me. i'm very very fond of you, just so you know. i often think to myself "oh azul would like this." "azul would laugh so hard at this." etc. but i also often think about you and your words, i get so happy when i see your messages popping up on my screen i try to answer them asap because who knows when you'll be gone?!??! (NOT IN A DEAD KIND OF SENSE BUT OMFG MAKE UR DISCORD STATUS ON, STOP BEING ON INVISIBLE.) i often recall your words and the advice you give me, it makes me smile but another thing that also makes me smile is your smile. i'm pretty sure i've already told you this once but your smile is so bright, so bright it rivals the rays of sunshine that light upon us. perhaps you're my sun, my blessing that came along the way and makes the cold and hard days easier for me. melting the snow that hid me from the many things unbeknownst to me and revealing yourself to me. just you. whom else do i need? /j/lh. i love you a lot user azullumi <3
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© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 6 days
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2 new aven fics this week.. let's see when lollllllll 🤣🤣🤣
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dr-felitas · 7 days
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oh em gee bro what the foof why are you so flipping wonderful and enchanting ?? you’re amazing, you’re adorable, you’re cute, you’re beautiful, you’re pretty, you’re just overall very much the definition of perfection <33 yes yes, all you. yes, you. y o u. 🫵🏻. ( /p )
but aside than that, love the slight theme revamp !! looks pretty uhuhu <33
MWAH MWAH ELLLL THANK UU🥹🥹 the same goes back to you 1000000x ps: had to adjust my theme to my new user after all 🙌🙌
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dr-felitas · 7 days
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HI FELI !!!!
plspkslsl know that you are super cool amazinh smart literatureful beautiful stunning pretty it girl material and literally just ugh sgshsvvsbw?!
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XUEEEV😭😭😭 thank you thank you 🫶🫶 can only give the same back to you lovely
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dr-felitas · 7 days
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You are so underrated! You write the characters so well and in such a good pacing. I hope you get more recognition💕
stop it, thank you ☹️☹️ im always quite afraid that people don't enjoy my works cause of the underwhelming amount of dialogue. also i often fear that my works are quite rushed, so thank you 💗(most of the time it's just describing and the thoughts etc. so it's like very little dialogue) but really this cheered me up a lot, thank you anon 🫶
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dr-felitas · 7 days
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ig ppl like short synopsisses or wtv.. gues ill start to shorten them now or wrv
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dr-felitas · 7 days
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pairing: aventurine x reader | fluff with vv light angst (tbh its only kinda implied) | wc: 347
a/n: i had the urge, i felt the need, i wanted to use his real name. i love it. it makes him him.
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“kakavasha!” you chant his name like a prayer, full of hope. you let out a loud sigh of relief upon seeing your boyfriend opening his eyes.  “finally you're awake, i was worried sick!”
your hands rested on his shoulders, pursing your lips as your eyes scan his face for any signs of discomfort.
huh. why did you look so perplexed? it hit him when he felt a cool droplet glide down his warm cheek. was he seriously tearing up right now? and why'd it feel like he was burning up, cold sweat was glistening on his skin and his head felt dizzy.
just what in the world was happening?
“thank god you're awake! i tried to shake you awake for the past five minutes now. because you kept whispering something about a grand death and kept moving uncomfortably.” your right hand reaches out to the lobe of his ear to play  with his turquoise peacock feather-like earring, tangling it around your fingers.
oh, so that's what it's all about.
“are you alright?” your eyes darted over his handsome face, skin almost as pale as porcelain and eyes alluring as ever.
“if something or someone is bothering you, let's talk about it. or resort to violence, i’ll kick their ass, whichever you prefer!” you lightly chuckle. 
“don't try to take the burden all upon yourself, okay?” , shooting him a look that says “i’m always here for you, don’t forget that - don’t forget me.”
upon hearing that he can only smile fondly. after all, he loves you and his family more than anything and anyone - even more than himself.
but perhaps, perhaps this wasn't the right time to tell you. at least not yet. the right time will eventually come - no it will come. he has everything planned out.
“don't worry. i’m fine, everything is and will continue to stay fine. trust me.” he reassures you before suddenly pulling you into a tight embrace, being pulled onto his lap as your head is buried into the crook of his neck.
“let’s stay like this for a bit longer. please.”
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© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 7 days
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angel of sin - sunday
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synopsis: dreams are unattainable imaginaries, fragments we’ll never get to experience and only ever see over and over as they replay in our minds like a broken record. they show us the things we’ve always longed to have and to sunday that has always been you. so is it wrong for him to provide you with a joyous life within the dreamscape, even if that means without him? 
pairing: sunday x reader | wordcount: 1.6k | content & warnings: MIGHT BE KIND OF OOC BUT I HOPE THAT IT WAS A SOMEHOW OKAY TAKE ON HIS CHARACTERS 😭 SORRY IF NOT ILL WORK ON IT I PROMISE, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst if you squint, metaphors (mentions of like “cannibalism”?? not really sure how to describe it but yeah tw), established relationship (written as couple in mind - can also be read as platonic), sunday-centered, sundays hella whipped and down bad icl; ficlet
a/n: i needed to post something and yay this is one of my like 5 sunday drafts or something!! or else it’s feliover. also this was written at 4 am lol so i’ll make my proper proofreads and adjustments tmrw HAHAHA edit: i changed the title to "angel of sin", the name it was supposed to be i just kind of messed it up due to my sleepiness HAHAH but the names inspired by my beloved ggz angel of sin
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“tell me. why do you think we dream?”
bittersweet words that carry a sense of melancholy have been sitting atop the tip of his tongue for an eternal amount of time. there have been many - endless occasions where he wanted to confess, but in all honesty he can’t remember; he can’t keep count of the many times he’s wanted to ask you. 
every time he tried to voice the question out loud, the words in his throat died down - they went numb and to sunday it felt like he had lost the ability to speak, as if he had lost his speech - his voice. 
without the ability to talk, with no voice to say his thoughts out aloud, how was he supposed to express himself? with no words to leave his mouth he wasn’t able to soothe peoples worries - even if in sundays eyes he deemed those actions as unjust - inhumane.
not having the right words and owning no voice to say them would mean that sunday wasn’t able to tell and share his ideals - the ideology, his way to make humanity happy. a world where the weak don’t have to take risks and aren’t endangered, a society that deserves to indulge in happiness even when he isn’t able to experience it.
but most importantly, if sunday lost his speech, the trait to speak - the ability to voice his thoughts out loud, he wouldn’t be able to ask questions - questions asked by him to none other than you - questions which only you could provide him a satisfying answer that’d make him content and slightly put him at ease. 
the poignant words that unwieldy fall from his mouth, they nip into the air like a newborn bird that has only now learned how to fly and continues to struggle, nevertheless it’s able to leave its nest and tries its best to continue no matter the amount of failure, afterall it has been caged inside its nest for a far too long time to not escape, right?
his words have been swallowed one too many times, they slid into his gut and stirred uneasiness, so, at some point there needs to be a right and somewhat ideal time for him to ask his question which yearns for an answer - your answer. 
elsewise sunday doesn’t know if he can live with this feeling, the monster that lurks inside his mind any longer. it’s unbearable and he longs for you to open your mouth and answer him in the honeyed voice he seeks after.
he pleads for you to speak your mind before the monster continues to nibble at his flesh, shredding the layers of his porcelain like skin apart, tearing feather after feather from his seraphic wings, ripping his tongue stained in lies out and finally consumes him in whole - freeing him from his sins. 
“why we fall asleep and thus dream, you ask?” your eyes shine bright as you look up at the circled orb - the silver moon that illuminates the dark sky - nights cloak that shields the two of you away from any outstanders. 
the sky, which is encased in dark colors, except for the few stars and the moon that continuously shine, make it hard to see. but to sunday he can only see one thing - you. 
there’s no need for you to look at him to know that he’s anxious, that the hand you hold on so tenderly is tingling in fear as he tries to maintain a steady breath while awaiting your answer. 
you’re aware that sunday tries his hardest to compose himself and tries to not grab your hand too roughly out of fear of hurting you, eventually leaving harsh scars that’ll stain your sacred skin. 
sunday would paint your skin in kisses, every spot that he’s tarnished in wounds would be sealed with a peck until it heals and begins to bloom once again. to sunday there’s no disgrace when it comes to you, no shame or humiliation.  
to sunday you’re simply a blessing - a blessing which he can only repeat a “thank you” for over and over again, until it eventually stings on his tongue and rather sounds like a curse he chants repeatedly.
he’d get on his hands, making the palms of his hand meet the rough floor, dirtying his sacred skin with mud. the pebbles that are distributed on the floor come in all shapes and forms along with the glass shards and sticks, they dig through his palms, making them bleed, tainting his fair skin.  
he’d get on his knees, even if that means wrinkling his clothes and ruining the neatly ironed fabric as they get covered in dust while he gets on one knee to tie your shoelace properly or lovingly massage your calf. sunday would get on both knees if you’ve asked - without hesitation.
because when it comes to you, sunday, head of the oak family, knows no thing such as “shame.”
the fingers that run along the back of his hand, tracing around in a circle like motion are comforting, he can’t help but ask himself if they’d continue to hold him even when he were to fall into a deep pit, an ocean of unresolved emotions, questions that constantly plague his mind, internal conflicts - inner self hatred. 
If you were to see all of this - if you were to see how this all plays out and sunday eventually drowning in that void, would you continue to hold him even when decides that it’s the right thing for him to disappear into the waters? even if that meant that you’d drown with him and never be able to return to the shore?
you don’t deserve that, you deserve to live a happy life and indulge in all the things you’ve always wished for.
to sunday there has only ever been one wish he wanted to fulfill ever since he was young - a purpose he must accomplish: to make the people of penacony happy, especially robin and you, even if that meant being trapped in the dreamscape for an eternity.
due to his “minute”, personal, eternal sacrifice, he’ll never get to see that dream, he’ll be trapped somewhere else. perhaps he’ll rush to the end of this ignorant world, like a coyote mindlessly running around like a madman, searching for its prey. 
he’ll run to a place where he can be at peace because where else is he supposed to be if not in your grasp? after all, what other place does he belong to?
“some people are simply too unhappy with their current life. so, they turn to dreams to indulge and live a carefree life that isn’t theirs. they’re able to enjoy a life with no seemingly worries, i suppose dreams show us the life we could have.” you click your tongue as you express your opinion. 
“why only could?” sunday asks curiously, his wings slightly flutter at your response. 
“sunday, tell me. do you really think it’s good to live a life that isn’t yours? a life you’ll never get to experience outside of your dream?” he can make out a certain frustration in your voice, as if you’ve thought about this many times, as if you’ve had this conversation many times already. 
but with whom?
“so, why not stay in the dreamscape forever then?” he offers, it’s a light implication of what he plans. but it doesn’t come over as a warm welcoming invite - rather it sounds like a demand. 
“its alluring, isn’t it?” you chuckle and sunday can only listen as you open your mouth again. “i’ve thought about it many times too, but i realized if i were to do that, i’d always be trapped in this cage with no way to escape. i don’t think i’d ever be happy, not having my liberty nor freedom to do as i please.” you mumble. “and would i even have you by my side? or are you busy then? gone from my grasp - gone from me?” you whisper reluctantly under your breath, obvious uncertainty lacing your words.
perhaps this is the moment in which sunday realizes that he had forgotten his initial dream, to make you out of all people in penacony happy. it’s selfish to abandon his former plans and adjust them just because of you. 
but making you happy is somewhat connected to making the people of penacony happy, right?
also he has never mistrusted your judgment, your words were the only ones that put him at ease, the only words that actually understood him and his motives. 
even though he’s bound to that dream, he’ll shed tears for you, he’ll get on both his hands and knees if it means to see you happy. 
his heart has committed unforgivable sins. but to sunday it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s you. he’ll humiliate himself, turn himself into a criminal, go against his ideal - there’s no disgrace as long as it’s for you. 
sunday is fully devoted to you.
his heart won’t stop beating, it’s pumping loudly in his chest as his wings continue to flutter. his soft feathers fall like tears, sliding down like droplets onto the ground. his wings are no more than shackles chaining him back from flying, from roaming the sky and exploring its very first and very last corner. they chains keep him bound to the floor, a place where he’ll never experience freedom to its fullest.
you’re his blessing - you’re more than enough and if it’s for you, he’ll fulfill your needs and wishes even if it means to go past his (former) ideals and ideologies. everything that you provide him with feels unreal, it feels too good to be true, almost dream-like. 
a dream which he wishes he’ll never wake up from. 
but he knows he’ll eventually have to but he also knows that you’ll also be there and not just in his imagination. 
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"ew omg who are they going to tag again, pls dont tell me its that kokomi person" (said no one ever) but YEAH indeed hello @azullumi while for me it's 4:30 am rn its 10:30 am for you!!! great innit (im not british) innit always reminds me of tommyinnit, tommyinnit reminds me of the jump in the cadillac, and that reminds me of bruno mars, bruno mars reminds me of good music, good music reminds me of tiktok and how it removed all the good music, AND TIKTOK ALSO REMINDS ME OF THE FACT THAT U TAKE 1 TO 2 BUSINESS DAYS TO RESPOND TO ANSER MT TIKTOKS AND ODNT YOU DARE BLAME IT ON THE WIFI NOW btw omg yeah guys im acc not a sunday hater lolll (th enote on my othe rnote said otherwise but i had to convince xue somehow okay..) i've acc liked him for a while - acc when he first appared in the story and i remember my friend not liking him and only liking robin loll while i was js gushing abt how cool and handsome he was HAGAG ANYWAY ENOUGHT ALKING ABT THE BUSH SORRY AZTUL ILL COME BACK TO YOU. im gkad to know that you recovered fropm your ilness!! and hope you'll enjoy the rest of your trip and write the aventurine angst (IM WAITING..) and also maybe i say it too rarely maybe i dont who knows idc but i love you a lotlotlototltotot, ill continue this shoutout in dms tho cause it'll get a bit more private (NOT PRIVATE AS IN INTIMATZE OR SHIT OKAY???)
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e/n: you can tell i got lazy at the end. it was so sloppy and like so rushed im sorry :( like tbh im not content with the way it turned out at all at the ending but yeah idk
© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 8 days
Text
angel of sin - sunday
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synopsis: dreams are unattainable imaginaries, fragments we’ll never get to experience and only ever see over and over as they replay in our minds like a broken record. they show us the things we’ve always longed to have and to sunday that has always been you. so is it wrong for him to provide you with a joyous life within the dreamscape, even if that means without him? 
pairing: sunday x reader | wordcount: 1.6k | content & warnings: MIGHT BE KIND OF OOC BUT I HOPE THAT IT WAS A SOMEHOW OKAY TAKE ON HIS CHARACTERS 😭 SORRY IF NOT ILL WORK ON IT I PROMISE, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst if you squint, metaphors (mentions of like “cannibalism”?? not really sure how to describe it but yeah tw), established relationship (written as couple in mind - can also be read as platonic), sunday-centered, sundays hella whipped and down bad icl; ficlet
a/n: i needed to post something and yay this is one of my like 5 sunday drafts or something!! or else it’s feliover. also this was written at 4 am lol so i’ll make my proper proofreads and adjustments tmrw HAHAHA edit: i changed the title to "angel of sin", the name it was supposed to be i just kind of messed it up due to my sleepiness HAHAH but the names inspired by my beloved ggz angel of sin
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“tell me. why do you think we dream?”
bittersweet words that carry a sense of melancholy have been sitting atop the tip of his tongue for an eternal amount of time. there have been many - endless occasions where he wanted to confess, but in all honesty he can’t remember; he can’t keep count of the many times he’s wanted to ask you. 
every time he tried to voice the question out loud, the words in his throat died down - they went numb and to sunday it felt like he had lost the ability to speak, as if he had lost his speech - his voice. 
without the ability to talk, with no voice to say his thoughts out aloud, how was he supposed to express himself? with no words to leave his mouth he wasn’t able to soothe peoples worries - even if in sundays eyes he deemed those actions as unjust - inhumane.
not having the right words and owning no voice to say them would mean that sunday wasn’t able to tell and share his ideals - the ideology, his way to make humanity happy. a world where the weak don’t have to take risks and aren’t endangered, a society that deserves to indulge in happiness even when he isn’t able to experience it.
but most importantly, if sunday lost his speech, the trait to speak - the ability to voice his thoughts out loud, he wouldn’t be able to ask questions - questions asked by him to none other than you - questions which only you could provide him a satisfying answer that’d make him content and slightly put him at ease. 
the poignant words that unwieldy fall from his mouth, they nip into the air like a newborn bird that has only now learned how to fly and continues to struggle, nevertheless it’s able to leave its nest and tries its best to continue no matter the amount of failure, afterall it has been caged inside its nest for a far too long time to not escape, right?
his words have been swallowed one too many times, they slid into his gut and stirred uneasiness, so, at some point there needs to be a right and somewhat ideal time for him to ask his question which yearns for an answer - your answer. 
elsewise sunday doesn’t know if he can live with this feeling, the monster that lurks inside his mind any longer. it’s unbearable and he longs for you to open your mouth and answer him in the honeyed voice he seeks after.
he pleads for you to speak your mind before the monster continues to nibble at his flesh, shredding the layers of his porcelain like skin apart, tearing feather after feather from his seraphic wings, ripping his tongue stained in lies out and finally consumes him in whole - freeing him from his sins. 
“why we fall asleep and thus dream, you ask?” your eyes shine bright as you look up at the circled orb - the silver moon that illuminates the dark sky - nights cloak that shields the two of you away from any outstanders. 
the sky, which is encased in dark colors, except for the few stars and the moon that continuously shine, make it hard to see. but to sunday he can only see one thing - you. 
there’s no need for you to look at him to know that he’s anxious, that the hand you hold on so tenderly is tingling in fear as he tries to maintain a steady breath while awaiting your answer. 
you’re aware that sunday tries his hardest to compose himself and tries to not grab your hand too roughly out of fear of hurting you, eventually leaving harsh scars that’ll stain your sacred skin. 
sunday would paint your skin in kisses, every spot that he’s tarnished in wounds would be sealed with a peck until it heals and begins to bloom once again. to sunday there’s no disgrace when it comes to you, no shame or humiliation.  
to sunday you’re simply a blessing - a blessing which he can only repeat a “thank you” for over and over again, until it eventually stings on his tongue and rather sounds like a curse he chants repeatedly.
he’d get on his hands, making the palms of his hand meet the rough floor, dirtying his sacred skin with mud. the pebbles that are distributed on the floor come in all shapes and forms along with the glass shards and sticks, they dig through his palms, making them bleed, tainting his fair skin.  
he’d get on his knees, even if that means wrinkling his clothes and ruining the neatly ironed fabric as they get covered in dust while he gets on one knee to tie your shoelace properly or lovingly massage your calf. sunday would get on both knees if you’ve asked - without hesitation.
because when it comes to you, sunday, head of the oak family, knows no thing such as “shame.”
the fingers that run along the back of his hand, tracing around in a circle like motion are comforting, he can’t help but ask himself if they’d continue to hold him even when he were to fall into a deep pit, an ocean of unresolved emotions, questions that constantly plague his mind, internal conflicts - inner self hatred. 
If you were to see all of this - if you were to see how this all plays out and sunday eventually drowning in that void, would you continue to hold him even when decides that it’s the right thing for him to disappear into the waters? even if that meant that you’d drown with him and never be able to return to the shore?
you don’t deserve that, you deserve to live a happy life and indulge in all the things you’ve always wished for.
to sunday there has only ever been one wish he wanted to fulfill ever since he was young - a purpose he must accomplish: to make the people of penacony happy, especially robin and you, even if that meant being trapped in the dreamscape for an eternity.
due to his “minute”, personal, eternal sacrifice, he’ll never get to see that dream, he’ll be trapped somewhere else. perhaps he’ll rush to the end of this ignorant world, like a coyote mindlessly running around like a madman, searching for its prey. 
he’ll run to a place where he can be at peace because where else is he supposed to be if not in your grasp? after all, what other place does he belong to?
“some people are simply too unhappy with their current life. so, they turn to dreams to indulge and live a carefree life that isn’t theirs. they’re able to enjoy a life with no seemingly worries, i suppose dreams show us the life we could have.” you click your tongue as you express your opinion. 
“why only could?” sunday asks curiously, his wings slightly flutter at your response. 
“sunday, tell me. do you really think it’s good to live a life that isn’t yours? a life you’ll never get to experience outside of your dream?” he can make out a certain frustration in your voice, as if you’ve thought about this many times, as if you’ve had this conversation many times already. 
but with whom?
“so, why not stay in the dreamscape forever then?” he offers, it’s a light implication of what he plans. but it doesn’t come over as a warm welcoming invite - rather it sounds like a demand. 
“its alluring, isn’t it?” you chuckle and sunday can only listen as you open your mouth again. “i’ve thought about it many times too, but i realized if i were to do that, i’d always be trapped in this cage with no way to escape. i don’t think i’d ever be happy, not having my liberty nor freedom to do as i please.�� you mumble. “and would i even have you by my side? or are you busy then? gone from my grasp - gone from me?” you whisper reluctantly under your breath, obvious uncertainty lacing your words.
perhaps this is the moment in which sunday realizes that he had forgotten his initial dream, to make you out of all people in penacony happy. it’s selfish to abandon his former plans and adjust them just because of you. 
but making you happy is somewhat connected to making the people of penacony happy, right?
also he has never mistrusted your judgment, your words were the only ones that put him at ease, the only words that actually understood him and his motives. 
even though he’s bound to that dream, he’ll shed tears for you, he’ll get on both his hands and knees if it means to see you happy. 
his heart has committed unforgivable sins. but to sunday it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s you. he’ll humiliate himself, turn himself into a criminal, go against his ideal - there’s no disgrace as long as it’s for you. 
sunday is fully devoted to you.
his heart won’t stop beating, it’s pumping loudly in his chest as his wings continue to flutter. his soft feathers fall like tears, sliding down like droplets onto the ground. his wings are no more than shackles chaining him back from flying, from roaming the sky and exploring its very first and very last corner. they chains keep him bound to the floor, a place where he’ll never experience freedom to its fullest.
you’re his blessing - you’re more than enough and if it’s for you, he’ll fulfill your needs and wishes even if it means to go past his (former) ideals and ideologies. everything that you provide him with feels unreal, it feels too good to be true, almost dream-like. 
a dream which he wishes he’ll never wake up from. 
but he knows he’ll eventually have to but he also knows that you’ll also be there and not just in his imagination. 
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"ew omg who are they going to tag again, pls dont tell me its that kokomi person" (said no one ever) but YEAH indeed hello @azullumi while for me it's 4:30 am rn its 10:30 am for you!!! great innit (im not british) innit always reminds me of tommyinnit, tommyinnit reminds me of the jump in the cadillac, and that reminds me of bruno mars, bruno mars reminds me of good music, good music reminds me of tiktok and how it removed all the good music, AND TIKTOK ALSO REMINDS ME OF THE FACT THAT U TAKE 1 TO 2 BUSINESS DAYS TO RESPOND TO ANSER MT TIKTOKS AND ODNT YOU DARE BLAME IT ON THE WIFI NOW btw omg yeah guys im acc not a sunday hater lolll (th enote on my othe rnote said otherwise but i had to convince xue somehow okay..) i've acc liked him for a while - acc when he first appared in the story and i remember my friend not liking him and only liking robin loll while i was js gushing abt how cool and handsome he was HAGAG ANYWAY ENOUGHT ALKING ABT THE BUSH SORRY AZTUL ILL COME BACK TO YOU. im gkad to know that you recovered fropm your ilness!! and hope you'll enjoy the rest of your trip and write the aventurine angst (IM WAITING..) and also maybe i say it too rarely maybe i dont who knows idc but i love you a lotlotlototltotot, ill continue this shoutout in dms tho cause it'll get a bit more private (NOT PRIVATE AS IN INTIMATZE OR SHIT OKAY???)
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e/n: you can tell i got lazy at the end. it was so sloppy and like so rushed im sorry :( like tbh im not content with the way it turned out at all at the ending but yeah idk
© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.
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dr-felitas · 8 days
Text
guys is there anything you'd all want me to write?? i feel Iike my blogs dying out 😭😓 open for reqs ^^
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