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█ ▌& deadly.
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he's not exactly surprised when you
ready to push him away, he's prepared
for it, he knows he deserves it. but --
you don't. not that it's necessarily a
relief, you're still upset but -- count
your blessings.
what does catch him off guard is the
press of your forehead against his,
pale blues blinking for a moment. he's
supposed to be some sort of point of
stability and he hopes to live up to the
expectation; a hand gently smoothing
up and down your back in a comforting
way. or at least, that's the intention.
a small whine of protest is all he can manage and
when his hands find their way to your chest, it’s with
the intent of pushing you away. instead, they end
up balling themselves into fists, bunching your shirt
along with them.
" i’m gla fuck. i’m “
he squeezes his eyes shut and lets his forehead fall
against yours, more frustrated with himself than
he is with you. he’s glad you’re back. why is that
so fucking hard to say? why couldn’t he just believe
when you said your absence had nothing to do with
him?
#has to explain fuckin e v erything through narrative bc eric is about as#expressive as a r ock#█ ▌& ic.#bifurcxted
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" som'n tells me one is harder
to steal th'n the other. "
not that he has experience with
stealing. not a lot, anyway. never
really had the need to.
“yeah. they think
because i stole
gum from the local
store means i’ll
go ahead and steal
prada.”
he’ll grumble
before burying
his face into
the jacket material.
a soft hum.
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well, that wasn't exactly what he'd
expected. he wasn't complaining,
though. probably should've pegged
this one to be the concert type. so
much for being especially perceptive.
" yeah? i'm up f' it. "
well, his original plan was mostly
relaxed to begin with, only
slightly on the trouble end but
he reevaluates. there is one
other thing he had in mind —
“I’ve got a subscription to the
New York Philharmonic. ”
he’s mentally preparing to be
laughed at.
” there’s a show tonight. “
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well if he says so. a shrug of
his shoulders as he makes his
way around the vehicle, slipping
in passenger's side.
" 'll remember for
future reference. "
” oh — “
and there’s a small laugh
because he really hadn’t
noticed the issue. a hum
and he lets go, pointing
flippantly to the seat next
to him.
” in the seat. i’d rather be
in your lap. “
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harvardprettyboy:
eric is a fucking vault — which is
actually pretty wonderful since
cal is getting really tired of the
easiness of most people — so
painfully obvious and uninteresting.
but cal is just a little bit done with
it tonight. he wants to crack that safe
and he’s never been so unsure
about a move in his life but fuck it.
really, he’s mostly worried that he’ll
get punched in the face or something
when he reaches across the couch,
half crawling over the other’s reclining
form, and curls his fingers into the
front of eric’s shirt.
he doesn’t pause because he really
can’t afford to and once their lips
meet, cal practically dissolves; an
unwinding of tension he hadn’t thought
was really that bad. he tries to stop
the sigh that he breathes between
them but — well, obviously his self
control is lacking tonight.
honestly he’d just been on
his phone, looking up somewhere
decent they could order food. a
part of him was cringing about how
inevitably awful it’d probably be
health-wise, but he could bite that
bullet in favor of price. what a tight
ass.
so needless to say he’s more than
a pinch caught off guard, well, he
senses the other moving towards him,
but — the fingers curling in his jacket
is still a surprise. a glance up from the
screen, and he might’ve spoken if his
lips weren’t captured by the younger.
well then. cal’s immediate reaction sends
a flush up the back of his neck that he’s
glad is hidden, if only because — eric
never saw himself as that desirable.
a moment to collect his thoughts, and
he tells himself it doesn’t have to be
complicated even as his hands slip
up the other’s frame to rest at his hips.
there’s a content rumble in his chest;
well if they could both use the distraction..
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huh. he could've expected that.
but it's nice to know for sure. he'd
hate to throw his money at something
only...adequate. he kind of has some
time and bullshit to make up for; has
to go the extra mile.
" okay. "
it’s not worth questioning because,
frankly, you’ve asked her weirder
shit before. that, and she’s
determined to get this block out
from the jenga tower. who says
you can’t play by yourself ?
” cats. “
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[ he's a bit occupied simply
staring off into space. excuse
his lack of conversational skills;
he's still not quite used to going
it alone. ]
Yeah. Simpler for work.
[ andrew’s eyes flick from
the man’s face to the window
across from them, watching
the tunnel walls go by. ]
…Do you live here in the city?
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but it's a pleasant change:
thoughtfulness. he isn't about
to complain, taking the stick of
gum with a nod before popping
it into his mouth. he could use
all the help he can get on this
one.
” of course. “
and he’s probably a lot more
thoughtful than he should be;
you’ll probably think he’s so
ridiculous when he pulls out a
pack of gum ( standard mint )
and offers you a stick. he
realizes you probably have
your own.
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Dane DeHaan as James Dean in “Life” (2015)
#but this is pretty much perfect#.#all of the looks but with the unshakeable#...wow this guy is totally done with everything is he#look about it#literally looks like he rolled out of a garbage bin#(y)#█ ▌& nightshade.
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well he -- hadn't expected you
to do that. but it's appreciated
nonetheless, and a soft sigh
escapes even as his foot taps.
one tic for another.
" -- thanks. "
he digs his heel into the
cigarette as soon as it hits
the ground. there’s no
judgement if eric gives in
to the craving but he’s
going to show his support
of that decision — a gentle
press of his hand to the
other’s lower back.
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but he does catch the shake of your
head and he frowns, because you're
hardly that forward about being truly
upset. but all the signs are there, eric
doesn't need to be especially perceptive
to know something's wrong.
he's just going to wrap his arms around
you despite whatever consequences may
follow.
a shake of his head so minute it wouldn’t be a surprise
if you hadn’t even seen it. his breath hitches a little as
he inhales, keeping his gaze away from yours as he
bites the inside of his cheek. and then his legs start
shaking, fists start tapping, and he swears to god if
he starts fucking crying
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" -- can't really buy myself. "
“… you.”
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Why should I retract my claws for you?
What do I earn from playing nice?
I’ll choke on the cries I leave in my throat.
I am not sorry.
If I am angry, I will be angry.
I will be blinding light
I will be rage and shaky hands
I will be venom and teary eyes
I will not laugh at your jokes
I will not tuck my fangs away to smile for you.
I will look you dead in the eye
and
I will spit out teeth that are not mine.
"Ammit" by Jasmine Khaliq (via bloodyknucklxs)
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Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guilderstern Are Dead
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you have carried the weight of the world
for so long,
you have gotten used to the weight.
but someday,
someone
will come along to help you
share that burden—
and you will no longer remember
how you managed to carry it for so long
a l o n e .
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