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Also annoyed that when heavy rain finally came to Sydney I did not have the same clothes on me this time as I did before to reenact the train scene.

Also had planned to reenact the being catcalled at poetry slam scene at the last poetry slam I went to as it was the same location but had no one to film my sister and so substituted it with the short clips instead.

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When my 7 day Premiere Pro trial is up so I can’t export an old version of the work in progress where it was still voiceover to put up on my Tumblr and show:’)  

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A stream of consciousness concept statement that is way too long but I’m scared I’m taking way too much time to edit it further and I guess this is just trying to make up for the fact that during this I didn’t post to Tumblr much cuz I was too busy filming and it doesn’t “defend” my project as “important or interesting” rather I’m mostly criticising it.

Poetry films. When done right the two individual forms compliment each other to double the effectiveness of the message being conveyed. I chose to expand on my original idea of rebelling against catcalling through this form and go beyond an arguably, static poster, especially in this era where it is media that is sought after and gorged. When revisiting some of my favourite poetry films and discovering others I drew a distinction between ones that were filmed as reenactments of the events described in the poem, or more of a direct performance with a simple concept. Either way the effect of synchronisation of complimenting visuals can create beautiful and powerful moments that cannot be achieved by a simple performance of it. One example can be seen in one of my favourite videos Last Words in which when the character says that their best feature are their which lips “have never gotten the attention they deserve” an extreme close up of their lips is utilised, which I interpret as if the camera is giving them the attention they deserve. So simple yet so effective. I tried to create a similar effect when I said “Her greatest legacy would be the children she leaves behind” and used a close up of my genital area, signifying children, as I took off my pants and left them behind.

I would say my biggest issue with my poetry film is the sound. I started filming thinking I would later just voice over everything but did not end up liking the unnaturalness of the lack of ambient noise. I later justified my decision of using the original sound recorded by thinking of it metaphorically as me struggling to have my voice heard above the sounds of the street, which does include catcalling, and making that sounds of cars passing a motif. However, in not using voice-overs completely I did also sacrifice there being consistency throughout the film sound wise and sound types and volumes do also greatly differ. In hindsight I think it would have been better to have actually used a microphone while video recording that would have picked up mostly my voice but still have gotten a little of the ambient noise.

The lack of voice-over also made video transitions less easily taken care of. I had had the idea of wanting to mix stills and video seamlessly in a film even before this project and when I came upon the music video Believer by Cyn it was a perfect actualisation of the concept. I also wanted to still use the stills I had taken for the first assessment and thought I could scatter them along the video so it would also be consistent. I thought it could work in between videos as a means of transitioning and also had the idea of using screen captures from the actual videos and editing them black and white as well. However I felt like this disrupted the flow of the poem and wanted the idea of embodying a cat, in line with the idea that catcallers reduce humans to cats and consequently must deal with a cat-like retaliation, to not be given away in the beginning. I thus resulted to turning instances of the videos themselves black and white but honestly do not think that worked well either. The artistic decision of using black and white itself was carried over from the previous assessment to make the focus more on me and better communicate the idea of a black cat. I also added the line “A black cat crossing your path is only unlucky if you call it.” to add to the textual integrity of the poem and so that the poem and film matched better holistically.

I used little clips of me holding up frames or signs as added visuals. The frames communicate how I feel like my body is up for show when I am simply walking the street. The “Hot Price” sign I found and used, I later wrote a line for “Think you can get me for a hot price like I’m some sort of commodity? Well yeah there’s definitely a price to pay and it’ll probably be hot because you’ll be burning in hell for it.” but felt like it was somewhat cheesy and I know I struggle with artistic withholding of information and that I always feel the urge to explain my art. Thus I decided to let this be and that it was simple enough for an audience to get. The undressing is to link to the last assessment but also carries over the concept of how I feel like I am only seen for my body underneath clothes.

The other issue with my poetry film is the fact that both portrait videos and stills and landscape are used and do not flow smoothly but I wanted to use the original stills and have my whole body to be seen at the end and I was aware it would look amateur and was not sure how to work around it.

The other thing I had in mind to do was to add captions, I personally always try to watch videos with subtitles as to not miss a thing but I also planned that when I said “I somewhat expect to be raped one day / It's what happens when statistics keep being thrown in your face along with yells from strangers in cars” to have animated text ‘hit me in my face’ of statistics of the percentage of women in Australia who have experienced sexual assault/harassment etc and then a multitude of “catcalls”. I also wanted to make the captions my own handwriting, carrying on from the first assessment as it could show that this is personal and the aggression. However because of a lack of time I never looked more into this but I do think it would have made the film even more messy and too much might have been going on.

In conclusion I am not satisfied with my film. To me I am not done yet. I am not fully proud of it and still want to mould this one day into something I can confidently share. Though I feel like it is a creative rebellion in that I have specifically rebelled against something, I would have liked to experiment more with form and have that itself be more a creative rebellion as well. I would have wanted to do more performance art in regards to catcalling which I feel is a form that is very much creatively rebellious and having film then document that.

Fishers, Mike and Armitage, Simon. Last Words. YouTube, YouTube, 11 Nov. 2017, www.youtube.com/watch?v=C88JOi6LKt0. 

 Laubbacher, Kenny, director. CYN - Believer. YouTube, YouTube, 31 May 2018, www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS-XqJM0-uQ.

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Assessment 2: Poetry Film: Catcall Me Again 

This is it. This is as decent as I can make it. 

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Vanishing Point by Daniel Crooks 

Reminded me of a the type of videos that would be used for visual meditation, though that kind of diminishes the work when I did actually find it mesmerizing. Was a simple concept I guess but I felt like there was this perfect balance with the double exposing, and you kept tryna see the second exposure before it was even fully there etc. 

The second one with the guy in the lake honestly gave me a little bit of like anxiety because of the music I guess and soundscape and also I guess visually you just never knew what to expect and what would pop up/turn out. Was suspenseful aha and got my heart racing. 

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Poetry Film on the time we spend on technology. (Really relevant to me D:

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I looked more into this poet and I really love the simplicity of this poetry film. The locations are just a room with a couch and tv screen, along with the a stage but I love the use of costume and make up. At first it is just them in a suit as well as in a dress with makeup but then there are smooth crosscuts of them in suit with makeup or in dress without makeup then back to makeup + dress again etc communicating how they transgress the binary. The poem is of course also great and so is their delivery ;____; really hits hard. New favourite poet whoo. 

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Looking into Performance Art

http://cordite.org.au/author/elenagomez/ 

http://cordite.org.au/interviews/gomez-durbin/ 

https://www.katedurbin.la/about/ 

https://www.katedurbin.la/abra-a-living-text 

https://www.katedurbin.la/hello-selfie 

https://www.katedurbin.la/cloud-9 

https://www.katedurbin.la/women-as-objects 

https://www.artspace.org.au/program/studios/2018/snack-syndicate/ 

https://snacksyndicate.net/works/

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24/08: Me realizing it’ll be raining this weekend so I can’t film. 

Me then realizing I could use the rain for a scene.

Me after the weekend annoyed because it didn’t rain enough despite me being dressed up and ready to go with someone to shoot, at the location :’) Might have to figure out an alternative for this scene. 

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Catcall Me Again Shot Breakdown first draft

Settings:

Basement

Street with big frame

Street with white frame

Sign that says “hot price” maybe

Sign that says Catcall Me Again

Need to do these for a while and see if you get a reaction at all. From collected footage review script.

Script:

[Just a pan of the street maybe to give some ambience, sound, and then rests on me...lol I think you mean an establishing shot]

I am a minute away from home

[Shot of phone in hand flashing either an afternoon time or a countdown.]

A minute away from safety

[Camera starts to move up from hand→arm→ shoulder→ then rests on my eyes]

From prying and preying eyes

[Still on eyes]

When I am catcalled by some guy in his car

[Moves down to mouth]

This has happened before

[Start zooming out, have my whole face]

But never have I been in my school uniform

[zoom out to my entire body]

[Change scene to me in uniform in basement, walking to and then sitting, looking at camera, challenging stare.]

At least before

I could somewhat justify it

Not that I should have to justify it

[Me just saying this in basement]

In that I may have looked somewhat older

[Cut back to street with me all in black]

And I remember telling my father and he didn't really say anything

[idk yet, maybe start with the shots of the frames and stuff]

And I remember telling a friend that the guy had shouted "yeah baby"

[Mid-shot of me maybe, on street]

And I remember her saying

You should have been like "no baby"

[Close up]

And I remember when I was on the other side of the same road waiting for a bus

[first me just leaning on basement wall stepping out from it, then me running across road, then me just standing at bus stop.]

Two middle aged guys in a truck made gestures

[shot of truck?]

That I guess I can only interpret as them wanting to fuck me

[Maybe basement saying]

And I remember muttering under my breath that I am sevenfuckingteen

[me actually muttering under my breath that at the bus stop lol]

And I remember when I was 16 at Yagoona (maybe just make it a train station, don’t name it) station in the evening coming from a friend's birthday party

[Use polaroids]

And a guy told me I had a nice ass then followed me to the other end of the platform through heavy rain.

[Shot as if the cameras are the eyes of the man, first looking down on me because I’m sitting, then me being like sorry what? You have a nice ass, my uncomfortable expression, then me getting up to run through the rain and shaky cam as he follows]

It's not as romantic as made out in the movies

And I just felt like asking him how old do you think I am and wondering if my age would change anything

[Idk yet so maybe more stills]

Maybe I looked older because I was wearing eyeliner for the first time

[Obviously me wearing CATLIKE eyeliner]

But I remember when I was 13 having a car stop right next to me on the road, the driver asking me where I was going and if he could take me anywhere.

I don't know where that would have gone if my grandfather hadn't caught up and shouted at him.

[More stills]

And I remember one night when my sister and I were walking from a poetry slam

And somebody else from a car yelled something

And we were confused

Cuz it sounded like a kid

[Take this at next poetry slam]

Why couldn't you teach your son something more useful?

Like to respect people

And I remember a friend who studies psychology

Saying that no matter how many other people's lives she impacts

Her greatest legacy would be the children she leaves behind

[Maybe little videos of children…..idek bro]

The fact that if she does it right, and I have no doubt that she will, there will be good people out there

What a wonderful sentiment

Because at this point

I'm ashamed to say

I somewhat expect to be raped one day

[Sleep still]

It's what happens when statistics keep being thrown in your face along with yells from strangers in cars

[Head going back, add in statistics hitting face, in street]

So though yelling back "What the fuck is wrong with you?" To a now speck does little good.

[Initial front shot of me but then camera turns around as I turn around and yell]

My body is not yours

for the taking, slurring or leering at

If you insist on treating me less than human

[The assessment 1 stills]

Catcall me again

[The sign and then still the stills]

And I will rip you apart with my teeth.

[Close up of my teeth of me saying this and then the sequence very quickly]

I'm sick of catcalling and I'm calling for an end.

[The STOP still]

Think of your film as a visual collage, documenting all the experiments

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Was feeling faint so sir talked to me first about my second assessment then let me leave an hour early bless. (But now I’m actually sick ):

Anyways I confessed how I wanted to do a poetry film and include all my other experiments in it in a sense and he was like cool, you have any poetry films in mind in reference and behold some of my most loved poetry films:

People You May Know by Kevin Kantor

If I’m being honest I do prefer just the slam poem version of this better, probably because it is what I came across first and I was so taken back by the honesty of it all but the actual poetry of it as well (some amazing lines) and the fact that this was done before the poetry slam, so it was closer to the actual event and hence the emotions felt even more authentic. That being said I still do like the poetry film and the actual use of the FB in projections and just the type of poetry film where it somewhat recreates moments. 

Catechism by Shon Faye  

Apart from the awesome poem and delivery itself (also they are so beautiful ;___; and I loved the outfit and the makeup). I loved the actual use of shards of mirrors throughout the whole thing, the motif, starting with the shot of one as they said “Let’s reflect you and I”, but then it coming full circle at the end as well. I also loved the subtle sound effects of things related to what they were saying. This film wasn’t in a recreation style per se, but I feel like the moments were still recreated effectively.  I liked the multiple shots and angles that were used to keep the actual film aspect of it being interesting, and the close ups of their face and lips as well to show the emotion, I would also like to use such closeups. 

Last Words

This poem and film is just absolutely amazing and one of my most favourite things. It’s just perfect and perfectly made. It is more of the recreational style than the previous two (lol watch me make “recreational” a term in film...oh do I mean reenactment? yeah I think I mean reenactment whoops) Apart from the poem making one think, the cinematography is top notch, and the music also suits perfectly. My favourite part is when the female answers the question “What’s your best feature?” as she says her laugh, laughing, and “my lips, which have never gotten the attention they deserve” it’s just perfect because ironically the camera is finally giving them the attention they deserved... 

Time for Love

FUCK, this is also perfect. I admire the poem so much because it was written so well but also the cinematography of it. I will never forget that when they say “The kind of look that challenges, like this is some sort of chess game” a man passes, judging, wearing a black and white checkered shirt. 

This isn’t a poetry film but it’s one of my most favourite music videos (and songs). A couple of weeks before I even came upon this I was already thinking that I would love to make a video using both film and stills and you know this whole thing is stunning cinematography wise, she’s stunning, the colors are stunning, the mood, the location, just visual design and everything, but also the stills are so stunning (as i told the person who actually did the stills after i found them on instagram and they replied back ;____;) so yeah this is also one of the main thing I want to do with my own poetry film, mixing in the stills seamlessly in their with the footage because the stills would be from the same moments. 

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I WAS AFFECTED AT KUDOS GALLERY

Choose a work that appeals to you in each space.

How does it work? why/ why not?

How does display factor into the final work?

How does it relate to the viewer? To the space? To the other works?

Stepping into the Kudos gallery the first thing that caught my eye and I believe many others was the video Magic Dyke. It was interesting because I did feel like some people tried to avert their eyes and hide the fact that it caught their eye. When I saw it my first thought was “Yas something about the body” and was interested to know what the sound was. When I recognised that it was “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys I just kind of thought “lol this is like all the stupid videos I have shared on my Instagram of me singing and dancing”, though nothing as sexually suggestive. It was the fact that it was also such standard footage and like their head would be cropped out at some point but it also really added to the authenticity of it. I felt like the actual title was perfect “the labour of letting your body be read as a joke” because I think what really captured people’s attention was how shameless the person was. It just felt like your standard youngster making a fool out of themselves that you would see on social media or like YouTube and that’s why it was really interesting to see this in an actual art gallery. Maybe my old instagram videos will be hunted down one day and put up in a museum where somebody will be like “this is a savage”?

What I also really liked was the printed sheet that said “How empty of me to be so full of you”. I connected to that because it was poetic but also related through the actual concept as well as I interpret it as losing oneself by being so besotted with someone else. I like how well the words connected to the actual print as well which I interpreted as the night sky or galaxy which is in a sense full of stars but empty. What was also interesting was the fact that it was hanging in front of the doorway so wind also caused it to move a bit.

The Mirror Machine threw me off a bit I think because it took me a while to figure out how they had made that effect but then I was also reminded of the days of old and slow computers and a Windows msg would pop up and if you dragged it it would make a trail of messages :’)

I really liked the “Self Portrait Diptych” because when I read that caption I was like what how is this a self portrait and then when I realized it had all these descriptions of the person they were I fell in love. I love how some were contradictory like “shy” and “confident” because I think a lot of our personalities can be contradictory like that in regards to different things.

What was interesting about this visit was realizing what didn’t really interest me and further confirmed how I am interested in things that are to do with humans and when there is an obvious link to humans conceptually. I was really drawn to all the performance art because of that but also because of my theatre background and how I just find performance art fascinating and want to learn more more about it, witness more of it, be more of a part in it, and create more of it. I loved the Blood Balance piece and the use of red lighting and her facial expressions in acknowledging the people and also the fact that there was an artist statement explaining the piece because I do really appreciate knowing the artist’s intention and the concept behind it with most things when it isn’t just completely up to interpretations.

I loved the position of monitors for the drone pieces and thought that was really clever that the bird-eye angle was on the monitor on the floor as if we were high up looking down and that the eye level view of mountains was on an eye level monitor.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

I WAS AFFECTED

The performance art “Two Skins” first just disgusted me because there were things dripping down but when i put on the headphones I was so disgusted because of the sounds of like liquid. However even though it was disgusting I still kept watching it because it was fascinating. It took me a second till I realized this was probably meant to recreate childbirth. And yuh I took photos of myself while watching to capture the effect it was having on me.

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Part of Assessment 1: Performance Poem

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The process

Note to self: the prints turned out a lot darker than I anticipated compared to when I was looking at them in Photoshop. Account for the ink next time.