deadpan-snarker

[deadpan-snarker]

[deadpan-snarker]

screen redraws, kinda 💥

ig / twt / print

#holy wow i love the colors #mp100

[deadpan-snarker]

Insects may as well be the size of elephants for the way I react to them.

#this is literally perfect #fave

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beach boys… city girls… mountain goats…

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“if you have a bit of stress then you can use this, but if you have a lot of stress use this one”

#forever reblog

[deadpan-snarker]

Every Grain of Sand RANKED. first up, grain #40,786,148,633 from Laguna Beach, CA. not much to say about this one. our verdict: boring!

[deadpan-snarker]

using my vibrator to massage my sore biceps

#this is what self-care looks like #shut up nic

[deadpan-snarker]

i feel like people have forgotten how to be a generous audience when they read/watch something. like sometimes you have to buy into some bullshit plot points or a deus ex machina or a few loopholes as the price of admission for an otherwise fun time. sometimes these things are just gears that get us to where the story really wants to be, and too many people get caught up in those gears. sometimes you gotta meet a story halfway.

#yes! #how do you have any fun with media when all you do is pick it apart #fucking relax and you might experience joy for once

[deadpan-snarker]

Joy is stored in not knowing who the fuck internet celebrities are

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girl help they’re playing music that was popular when i was in high school and making me feel nostalgic for an era of my life i have zero desire to return to

[deadpan-snarker]

You wake up tomorrow to find yourself in the world of the last video game you played. How screwed/lucky are you?

#well if we're counting mobile games it was obey me lol #and i'd be down for that

[deadpan-snarker]

New tag game

Type in “I want” to reveal your greatest desire

#i want to believe #accurate

[deadpan-snarker]

i’ve mixed cranberry mikes harder and cucumber lime gatorade into a drink i like to call “the flavor” because like. you drink this shit and your tongue is like “there’s a taste here. you are experiencing a flavor” but when you go to open the door there’s no flavor there. it comes back with an undefined error in the flavor column. it’s the missingno of flavors. it so absolutely and definitely tastes like something and that thing is nothing.

#bruh i gotta try this #i love the cucumber lime gatorade #also 'the missingno of flavors' is a great line

[deadpan-snarker]

“they tried to kill each other” yes and? do you have a problem with true love

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#spfff

[deadpan-snarker]

Illustrations part of my cryptids zine from last semester

#nice!!

[deadpan-snarker]

made a niche meme for @megan-mayhem in the groupchat but maybe some of my followers will also enjoy it (with apologies to matt bors)

#every time i go to tjmaxx that shit makes me cringe #the birdhouses are especially bad #there's one that says 'empty nest' like wtf? does that mean??? #i fully believe people get into fights over this shit