darthmasterchief

[darthmasterchief]

ok was anyone gonna tell me that Annabeth makes puns or says stupid stuff around piper then apologises or was I supposed to discover it myself

in the lost hero, in the weapons shack, piper takes a knife and says something about it. Annabeth says “yes, that’s kind of the point. Sorry, that was a bad pun.”

in blood of olympus, piper says “yeah Leo knows morse code too use that mirror” and annabeth adds “and flash him! Sorry, that came out wrong.”

[darthmasterchief]

sally: i left instructions for everyone while i'm gone

percy: mine just says "percy no"

annabeth: you should apply that to every possible situation

[darthmasterchief]

in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

[darthmasterchief]

I understand the "I will die for you" ship dynamic, but what about the "I will not let you die, I will not let myself die- we will, at any cost, survive" kind of couple?

[darthmasterchief]

If you ever tagged me to do one of those tag game thingies and I never did it:

1) Thank you, seriously. Those are fun and being included shows that my followers care enough to want to learn more about me.

2) Very sorry about that, it’s extremely likely that I said to myself “Cool! But I’m busy at the moment, I’ll have to do this later today or tomorrow” before proceeding to just straight-up forget, now it’s too far back in my notifications and/or your blog to find again.

[darthmasterchief]

"i have to water the shitbird wait a minute"

"prosper stupid poultry"

[darthmasterchief]

This has been a PSA.

[darthmasterchief]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[darthmasterchief]

Let's take it from the top

[darthmasterchief]

The Hug™️ is so interesting from Enid's perspective because she's been incredibly careful not to step over Wednesday's boundaries (like she isn't a pushover she gives wednesday snark but) enid never touches her when she doesn't want or makes her talk about her feelings, she's defending her to everyone and even coming back after life threatening danger. Then, just before her closest friend leaves school forever (with no way of getting in contact), enid goes for a hug which wednesday accidentally flinches out of.

So Enid thinks she's never gonna see or hear from wednesday ever again but still is immediately ready to throw down her life (before she even knows she can wolf out) for her upon hearing shes in danger and she almost DIES fighting a murder creature for wednesdays sake.

Finally, after everything is over she sees Wednesday and immediately hugs her because she literally cant stop herself.

But then there's the awful second where enid pulls back and like looks guilty because even after the emotional turmoil of thinking Wednesday had tried to kill her and then thinking Wednesday was gone forever then that wednesday was dead and even after she laid down her life to protect Wednesday shes still worried about overstepping boundaries because she cares so fucking deeply

Like if Wednesday didn't like her and hug her back this would have been the most tragic scene of television of all time ever because enid would literally do anything for her.

[darthmasterchief]

[darthmasterchief]

[darthmasterchief]

my 8 year old has some emotional regulation difficulties, and I've done my best to help him with those.

unrelated, I gave him a shovel a couple of days ago and told him to go have fun in the field because I was tired.

He suddenly seemed happier, having less trouble breathing through disappointment and just being generally all around more cheerful and able to focus in school better. Sure, my partner had to pull him out of a six foot by three foot hole today, but he was stoked about it!

[darthmasterchief]

I just found out the offspring of a goat and sheep is called a GEEP and they’re the cutest lil shits ever I want 200 of them

[darthmasterchief]

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD BOB ROSS IS A GIFTED GOD I DREW ALONG TO HIS VIDEO IN MS PAINT AND

HOW

THE

FUCK

THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW PLEASE I ADVISE YOU GUYS TO DRAW ALONG WITH BOB ROSS IN MS PAINT IT IS AN EXPERIENCE I AM SO CONFUSED BUT PLEASED FUCKING DO IT

[darthmasterchief]

[darthmasterchief]

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m